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[Marc-Grégor Campredon]

If you fell asleep again while waiting for one of these Las Vegas games to start, and then couldn't find find it, you wouldn't be alone. ESPN's commercial break-loaded broadcast finally started at 9:50 pm, by which point four minutes of basketball had already elapsed. The Michigan team you tuned in to watch didn't make it.

Their cancelation was mostly the work of a tough Arizona outfit that proved itself far better than advertised. That said, this was easily the worst basketball Michigan has played yet in the Juwan Howard era, as once again his young team couldn’t find its identity in the forest of a tall opponent. Michigan tried lineup after lineup, but couldn’t find any that could shoot, rebound, hang onto the ball, or play defense with any consistency.

A few of the things that went wrong usually go better, and probably will again. Hunter Dickinson had just ten looks from the field, including several all alone that found a way to rim out. He took the brunt of a career night for Arizona’s bouncy frontcourt pair Christian Koloko, who scored 22, and Azuolas Tubelis. The normally defensively stalwart Dickinson also started to look lost, joining some of his younger teammates in giving up an unending sequence of alley-oops. Freshman Moussa Diabate got pushed around, and rarely got an opportunity to use his switching skills. He broke one double to kick out to an open Houstan, but his four points, four personal fouls, and three turnovers in 18 minutes are likely to fall on the bottom end of a promising career.

Michigan’s transition defense was nonfunctional as the rotating lineups struggled to figure out whom to guard. There were bad matchups created all over the court as Michigan’s smaller guards wound up checking any of many towers that Arizona runs out in the backcourt, and the ball screen defense was atrocious. The team finished 1/14 from three, almost every one of them clean looks. Frankie Collins looked audacious with the basketball, but unfortunately his teammates were even less prepared for a lot of the passes he made than the fans. Even Kobe Bufkin, a bright point emerging since the loss to Seton Hall couldn’t get his shot off. Terrance Williams II missed a couple of bunnies, missed a few box-outs, and only played 17 minutes. Eli Brooks missed his first and second free throws of the season.

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Houstan’s shooting should get better, but if he’s going to stay on the floor for it his defense needs to. [Campredon]

Unfortunately, many of the rough spots that started to fray in the first four games are threatening to become like gaping holes. Starting point guard Davonte’ Jones again found himself in foul trouble, playing just 8 minutes in the first half after following up a reach-in foul with a charge. He returned and finally managed to lead a few good half-court sets by driving into the lane, but followed up his best offensive possession—a gorgeous runner through the redwoods—with an awful third foul 80 feet from the basket. His scoring ability was evident again, but like Mike Smith's early defensive struggles and turnovers last season, Michigan's latest transfer point man is going to have to adjust his game to lead Michigan.

Without Jones, they couldn’t get the ball to Dickinson, and when they did and he got it back out to a shooter, they missed. Caleb Houstan went 0/5 and was the man most responsible for the continued defensive breakdowns. He still played 33 minutes, and contributed a few turnovers and one drive and dish to Dickinson to hint at his 5-star potential, but Arizona also seemed to know right where to attack on defense. Even his brightest moment of the night found a way to be disappointing: he created a steal and his own breakaway, pulled up for three, but had his foot on the line.

His fellow winger Brandon Johns Jr. too had his moments—he canned Michigan’s lone triple—but his discombobulated play this season continued as he turned down open three-point opportunities that subsequently converted to bad possessions. The two-big lineup of Hunter Dickinson and Moussa Diabate destroyed Michigan’s spacing, and in this game even they couldn’t staunch the offensive onslaught. Only Arizona’s own bad shooting from distance—they went 4/21—kept the final score remotely close.

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Arizona’s pogo sticks were impenetrable down low [Campredon]

In good things that continued to be pretty good, Eli Brooks paced the Wolverines with 14 points, found his floater, and continued to cash in whenever he was left a crack into the lane. For that, Brooks took a lot of punishment from Wildcat elbows, and ended one possession in some kind of choke-hold.

Michigan falls to 3-2 and will almost certainly drop out of the top ten. They play Tarleton State on Wednesday then get Thanksgiving weekend off. It’s a good spot in the woods to look down at a glassy pond, and figure out who’s in the reflection, since a trip to Chapel Hill comes next.

[Box score after the jump]

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No. Don't do it.

Don't do what? Whatever it is you have thought to do next. Hand shoes. Don't do that. Nobody will like them. Foot hands. Nobody wants to replace their feet with hands via a brutal surgical procedure. Just leave the feet and hands as they are now. The feet will be shod. The hands will remain unshod. Critically, both feet and hands will remain feet and hands. Nobody needs or wants four dextrous but fragile appendages. Save it for zero G science fiction, buddy.

No. Don't do that, either.

Do not invent a cuisine based on rotting food. Yes, I've heard of that Scandinavian rotted shark thing. No, I don't think you should extend that concept to the ground beef I forgot about and is now alarmingly brown. Nobody wants to eat rotted food. Okay, yes, Scandinavians. Nobody who isn't a Viking wants to eat rotted food. Millions of years of evolution have resulted in people with strong aversions to food that could make you sick. Stop trying to make a smoothie out of everything the local Kroger is trying to throw out.

Don't do that. Whatever it is. Stop.

Look, I know you need some bullet points on a resume so that when you leave for another job you'll get a title better than "guy who can change the lights without a stepladder," but have you considered the fact that maybe you fit right in there as a man who stands in the corner with his eyes closed until a lightbulb needs changing and then impresses everyone around him with his femur len—DON'T EAT THE LIGHT BULBS

doesn't that hurt?

you are scaring your coworkers

there is blood all over the floor YES IT'S YOUR BLOOD WHO ELSE IS EATING LIGHTBULBS AROUND HERE

don't do that

don't

i can't stop you

nobody can stop you

please no

the sickening crunch

the guttural lip-smacking

the blood

i'll never be able to be around anyone else eating without thinking of this insanity

susan is vomiting

roger has stapled his eyes shut

stop

please

is this hell

i suppose you're going to put this on your resume as an innovative recycling initiative

if i may offer a suggestion, maybe replace the thing where you showed two hours of ref butts with this

Michigan lost to Ohio State in basketball tonight. ESPN said so. It must be true.

ESPN, forgetting that cameras, unlike humans, are equipped with a zoom function, decided to show us the entire game from the floor. It's an understatement to say the experiment failed. I'm mostly incapable of telling you what went on. If you attended the game, feel free to help us out in the comments.

Ohio State was able to get inside on Michigan. That much I can tell you because the Buckeyes were obscured by other players, not the officials. The box score tells me they had 38 points in the paint. JaeSean Tate led the way with 13 points and made 6/8 two-pointers; center Trevor Thompson, not normally a major factor on offense, had 12 on 6/7 FGs.

Michigan had a difficult time doing the same. I know this because the Wolverines were obscured by the officials, not other players. Unless, of course, they were on the far side of the court, and then they were obscured by everyone. The box score tells me they were 5/24 on three-pointers. Zak Irvin, Duncan Robinson, and Derrick Walton were a combined 4/18 from beyond the arc. The only consistent performer on offense was Mark Donnal (17 points, 6/10 FG, 5/7 FT, 7 REB), who still relied on the rare successful foray to the hoop by a Wolverine to attain most of his points. 

What not even ESPN's Worst Idea Since Jason Whitlock could obscure was how much better Ohio State's offense functioned than Michigan's, and also how poor the Wolverines performed on defense. When the Buckeyes weren't bulling their way into the paint, they were breaking open off curl-cuts for easy jumpers. Michigan never got in a rhythm, couldn't get all the way to the basket, and didn't find ways to get their shooters open.

Michigan missed their best chance to pull an upset and all but secure an NCAA Tournament bid. They'll get another shot on Sunday at Maryland. Even from butt-level, it's apparent the Wolverines will have to raise their level of play substantially this weekend.