so much for that
The Museday of the Depend Adult Undergarment
Filed under:
Right: One the fruits of this week's "Virginia Tech" googlestalking.
First there was the Rose. At this point let's not pretend like this wasn't a marketing ploy because the entire point of the Rose Bowl was to prove to skeptical Easterners that it really is sunny and 70 in January in Pasadena. But at some point the marketing went from "come see our lovely town" to how much can we annoy you. This is where I come in. I carry a keyboard.
When there were fewer bowls the funny names were okay, especially when they matched the local industry. The Citrus and Tangerine and Orange and Gator screamed Florida. The Peach was very Georgia. The Liberty Bowl at least began in Philly and had a logo of the Liberty Bell. The Refrigerator Bowl was in the Refrigerator Capital of the World—if you knew where that was you could place the bowl game.
With naming rights to bowls now going for less than Pryor made in extra benefits (oh snap!) it is time to revolt.
This should have been done before a company called Mine-hickey Care Bear or some such sullied one "hallowed" bowl with that name, let alone its second (map by Hinton):
Going with this week's theme of whining about things that will never happen, here's my plea to readers and bloggers alike for dealing with the billions of bad names and barnacle-like corporate monikers affixing themselves to your bowls.
Why care? Without getting into the mercenary finances of the bowls I don't care that companies buy naming rights. I care that they are very bad at it, and that this makes the bowlscape very unhelpful. It is not my intent to restrict or confine or dictate language. I'm just tired of having to Google where the Maaco Bowl is.
Just Add 'Bowl': Rose. Orange. Sugar. Fiesta. Cotton (no need to add "classic"). Liberty. Holiday. Alamo. Gator. Sun. Poinsettia. Oh they all have title sponsors who've tried to affix their names but you can pretty safely ignore them, especially since the sponsorships almost never last more than half a decade or so.
Fine with the Sponsor: Fight Hunger (leave out Kraft, it's an image wash anyway). Outback. Y'know what, "Hall of Fame" bowl in its day never really impressed me. On the other hand Outback Steakhouse did the sponsorship thing right by not adding the extra two syllables, allowing the bowl to evoke the Aussie desert instead of a restaurant that doesn't believe anything could be over-salted. I don't know what Tampa, FL, has to do with interior Australia but for some reason this doesn't bother me at all. Board? Hall of Fame or Outback for this one?
Never Change: Peach. Tangerine. Citrus. Copper. The chicken guys are insidious. Watch this logo progression (thanks Chris Creamer):
It ate the whole peach!
The Tangerine is now called the Champs Sports Bowl and was a zillion other things too but it's easy to remember as the Tangerine because it's still the other Orlando bowl after the Citrus. As for the Citrus itself, until such time as Capital One casts Michigan State in one of their marauding commercials, then has them sack a dorm while Kirk Cousins turns to the camera and says "what's in YOUR wallet?" this should always remain the Citrus. The Copper Bowl is the one that's now in Tempe and used to be in Tucson. It's been the "Insight" for a time but I can't stand .com names.*
What Was Wrong With the Old One? Pop quiz hot-shot: where was the Aloha Bowl (1982-'00)? Oh you guessed it. It was obvious. So why is it now the Hawai'i Bowl? By the way it was the Pineapple Bowl from '39 to '51, and the Poi Bowl from '35 to '38. Amazing that this bowl's predecessors go all the way back to when the BCS bowls were starting up.
Use the City: Virtually all of the rest of them. There is no way you should be responsible for remembering what bowl is currently the Franklin American Mortgage Company Bowl. Call it Music City or Nashville. The one in Mobile is Mobile. The one in Birmingham is Birmingham. Las Vegas. Detroit (or Motor City). Boise (you can call this one Potato if you like). New Orleans II. New Mexico. Tampa II (the one they're now calling Beef 'O' Babies or something, and is in St. Petersburg. So Tampa. Tampa II. Like the defense). Charlotte (the old Continental Ire, then Mein Kitty Carb Scare Bowl, now Belk). The "Armed Forces" and "Military" Bowls are currently battling it out to see which one can be the most Captain America:
…but until that is settled you are not going to remember which one is in Ft. Worth and which one is in D.C. So they're D.C. and Fort Worth ("Dallas III" gets confusing with the Cotton Bowl and Cotton II both in the tri-city area).
Special Cases: The "Pinstripe" Bowl can be that or the Bronx Bowl, or the one they're playing in Yankee Stadium. The bowl that's moved into the old Cotton Bowl is best referred to as Cotton II (not Ticketcity)
If you're in need of non-sullied bowl logos, the following is a collection of such created by bloggers (except the Rose: a Rose is a Rose).
----------------------------------------
* Unless you guys want to take up a fund to start the MGoBlog.com Bowl. But then we'd just call it the MGoBowl. Man who do we invite? I mean after Slippery Rock.
----------------------------------------
UPDATE: Handy Chart.
| They Call It | You Call It | Started | Location | Payout |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Alamo Bowl | Alamo | 1993 | San Antonio, TX | $2,250,000 |
| Armed Forces Bowl | Fort Worth | 2003 | University Park, TX | $750,000 |
| BBVA Compass Bowl | Birmingham | 2006 | Birmingham, AL | $1,000,000 |
| Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl | Tampa II | 2008 | St. Petersburg, FL | $1,000,000 |
| Belk Bowl | Charlotte | 2002 | Charlotte, NC | $1,000,000 |
| Capital One Bowl | Citrus | 1946 | Orlando, FL | $4,250,000 |
| Champs Sports Bowl | Tangerine | 1990 | Orlando, FL | $2,125,000 |
| Chick-fil-A Bowl | Peach | 1968 | Atlanta, GA | $3,350,000 |
| Cotton Bowl Classic | Cotton | 1936 | Dallas (Arlington), TX | $6,750,000 |
| Famous Idaho Potato Bowl | Boise | 1997 | Boise, ID | $750,000 |
| Fiesta Bowl | Fiesta | 1971 | Glendale, AZ | $18,000,000 |
| Gator Bowl | Gator | 1945 | Jacksonville, FL | $2,500,000 |
| GoDaddy.com Bowl | Mobile | 1999 | Mobile, AL | $750,000 |
| Hawaiʻi Bowl | Hawai'i or Aloha | 2002 | Honolulu, HI | $750,000 |
| Holiday Bowl | Holiday | 1978 | San Diego, CA | $1,000,000 |
| Independence Bowl | Independence | 1976 | Shreveport, LA | $1,100,000 |
| Insight Bowl | Copper | 1989 | Tempe, AZ | $1,200,000 |
| Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl | San Fran or Fight Hunger | 2002 | San Francisco, CA | $825,000 |
| Liberty Bowl | Liberty | 1959 | Memphis, TN | $1,350,000 |
| Little Caesars Pizza Bowl | Detroit or Motor City | 1997 | Detroit, MI | $750,000 |
| Maaco Bowl Las Vegas | Las Vegas | 1992 | Las Vegas, NV | $1,000,000 |
| Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas | Houston | 2006 | Houston, TX | $1,700,000 |
| Military Bowl | D.C. | 2008 | Washington, DC | $1,000,000 |
| Music City Bowl | Music City or Nashville | 1998 | Nashville, TN | $1,700,000 |
| New Mexico Bowl | New Mexico | 2006 | Albuquerque, NM | $750,000 |
| New Orleans Bowl | New Orleans | 2001 | New Orleans, LA | $325,000 |
| Orange Bowl | Orange | 1934 | Miami Gardens, FL | $18,000,000 |
| Outback Bowl | Outback | 1986 | Tampa, FL | $3,400,000 |
| Pinstripe Bowl | Bronx | 2010 | Bronx, NY | $2,000,000 |
| Poinsettia Bowl | Poinsettia | 2005 | San Diego, CA | $750,000 |
| Rose Bowl Game | Rose | 1901 | Pasadena, CA | $18,000,000 |
| Sugar Bowl | Sugar | 1934 | New Orleans, LA | $18,000,000 |
| Sun Bowl | Sun | 1934 | El Paso, TX | $1,900,000 |
| TicketCity Bowl | Cotton II | 2010 | Dallas, TX | $1,200,000 |
December 6th, 2011 at 9:24 AM | 
"Detroit" Should be Motor City
"Detroit" Should be Motor City
December 6th, 2011 at 9:29 AM |
MGoBlog.com Bowl:
Slippery
MGoBlog.com Bowl:
Slippery
MGoBlog.com Bowl:
Slippery Rock vs. Clint Eastwood State Fightin' John Waynes
Halftime performance by Morrissey
Halftime flogging of Pop Evil
December 6th, 2011 at 11:12 AM |
Tacopants can come out and do
Tacopants can come out and do
Tacopants can come out and do the honorary coin flip as well
December 6th, 2011 at 4:24 PM |
Different opponent, but
Different opponent, but
At hostes, pol, perniciter eant εις κοράκας
December 6th, 2011 at 9:30 AM |
The existing bowl system defies logic
The existing bowl system defies logic
December 6th, 2011 at 9:40 AM |
Slippery Rock vs Boise State
Slippery Rock vs Boise State
no matter what year it is, nobody wants to let Boise crash the party.
or invite Delaware State, assuming they already have a bowl invite elsewhere
Michigan Man
December 6th, 2011 at 10:10 AM |
DSU
DSU
Yes, yes, yes. But it goes in the contract that they must bring the band.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:52 AM |
Invite Delaware
Invite Delaware
Invite Delaware. Their helmets have wings.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:58 AM |
Exactly.
You'd have to
Exactly.
You'd have to
Exactly.
You'd have to have it in A2 at the Big House. Down boy Dave Brandon, down boy. It would be a bowl for real men.
A few hot chocolates and rum and you won't know the difference.
M'Dog
December 6th, 2011 at 11:06 AM |
Deleware vs. Princeton. Loser
Deleware vs. Princeton. Loser
Deleware vs. Princeton. Loser has to stop stealing our (actually Princeton's) helmet
"I just hope Tressel doesn't fire me"
-Gordon Gee
December 6th, 2011 at 9:41 AM |
I'd be all for an MGoBowl.
I'd be all for an MGoBowl.
I'd be all for an MGoBowl.
December 6th, 2011 at 9:46 AM |
MGoBowl
MGoBowl
Where you are always "bowl eligible!"
December 6th, 2011 at 9:56 AM |
Are there any bowls that
Are there any bowls that
Are there any bowls that haven't auctioned off naming rights? It makes me want to be rich enough to buy some bowl game naming rights and just do nothing with them.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:01 AM |
I get to assist Misopogon!
I get to assist Misopogon!
this makes my day. You wrote:
I don't know what Tampa, FL, has to do with interior Australia but for some reason this doesn't bother me at all. Board?
;
The answer is because Outback Steakhouse started in Tampa, and it's corporate headquarters are located there. My previous neighbor for the last 7 years was a GM of one or their locations.
ALWAYS remember the golden rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules
December 6th, 2011 at 10:50 AM |
thanks
thanks
thanks
(Blogger alias: "Misopogon") This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:07 AM |
I'm amazed that Clorox or
I'm amazed that Clorox or
I'm amazed that Clorox or Lysol hasn't sponsored a bowl game. Wouldn't this make financial sense?
December 6th, 2011 at 12:16 PM |
Toilet Bowl
Toilet Bowl
Yeah, who wouldn't want a shirt reading "Toilet Bowl Champions 2011?"
December 6th, 2011 at 12:57 PM |
That implies clean
That implies clean
I like it. The Clorox Shiny Porcelein Bowl could have a dirty counterpart in the Columbus Sewer District Bowel Bowl.
December 6th, 2011 at 2:56 PM |
Ty-D-bol
Ty-D-bol
has bowl in its name. It's good to go.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:25 AM |
I hate corporate bowl names
I hate corporate bowl names
Corporate Bowl Names: absolutely, unequivocally, hate them. The Rose Bowl will always be special for this very reason. Maybe that's why Michigan and the Rose Bowl go so well together: they both adamantly reject the incessant drum beat of corrupted naming rights. (or is that rites?)
Regarding the unwelcome intrusion of corporate America: I was cheesed off by something else during the inaugural Big 10 Championship Game: advertising placards strategically placed behind the talking heads at the sideline. There were (at least) three sign stands which held an insert with the name and logo of the sponsor for that particular segment of the game. You couldn't escape it (which undoubtedly was the idea.) It was extremely annoying. I can live with the occasionally annoying "Hi Mom" and waving and jumping fans. I can live with the logo superimposed on the screen by the network as a deep network voice intones, "this portion of our broadcast is sponsored by the proud Meinicke Heinicke Muffler Care Car Corporation gladly gouging you and wanting you to buy their products." But those irritating placards crossed a line for me.
This naming and sponsoring and branding does NOTHING to bring about my loyalty or business and only hacks me off. "Get off my lawn, corporate punks!!!"
Sigh. It's everywhere. mgoblog, in order to stay afloat, now has at least six appeals to spend your money. The choice du jour:
- "Ally Raise your rate 2-Year CD. 1.18% Annual Percentage Yield."
- "Marriott Rewards Visa Card . . . Earn 50,000 Points!"
- "Moe Sport Shops Cyber Monday . . . everything 20% of while supplies last."
- "Beveled Guilt: Make a Donation."
- "Park and Party: Michigan vs Ohio State Parking." (perhaps dated?)
- "Mgoblogstore Cyber Monday 20% off." (also dated.)
May Dave Brandon never completely cave to this dark side. Bill Martin had many flaws, but somehow, he managed to maximize money coming in without nickel and diming and irritating and alienating the entire fanbase, including me. The seat licenses and waiting list and donor lists and priority points make it increasingly less likely for me to attend games in Ann Arbor. I'm happy for you corporate alumni types who can afford to buy and write off tickets, but it just isn't enough of a priority for me to spend $100 plus per head to go to a stinking GAME.
"It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up." Vince Lombardi
December 6th, 2011 at 10:55 AM |
posted from iPhone
posted from iPhone
Ummmmm...Rose bowl presented by Citi or Rose Bowl presented by Vizio? The rose is not immune to the corporate naming plague.
December 6th, 2011 at 11:05 AM |
True enough
True enough
But it is still the "Rose Bowl mumble, mumble, presented mumble etc." It is the first thing you read and the first thing you hear. This DOES make a difference.
"It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up." Vince Lombardi
December 6th, 2011 at 10:27 AM |
fyi
fyi
the B1G will bring in $25.9 million from these bowl games or about $2 million each. as much as everyone has shit on michigan for being in the Sugar Bowl, that second team in a BCS bowl means about an extra million for each school in the conference.
2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
December 6th, 2011 at 10:37 AM |
Q-
Q-
Where did you get the 25.9 Million from? Is the 18 mill for the Sugar split (meaning we get 9 mill)? If so, gotcha.
Bring back Keith Jackson
December 6th, 2011 at 10:45 AM |
yes, total of bowls' payouts
yes, total of bowls' payouts
yes, total of bowls' payouts / 2 = $25.9m
if by we, you mean big ten conference teams, then yes, we get $9m. UM only gets $9m/12 $750,000 of that money. there are probably some small exceptions in these numbers covering expenses or some other kind of crap administrative fees or something, but for these purposes...
2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
December 6th, 2011 at 11:28 AM |
The payout, for the BCS games
The payout, for the BCS games
The payout, for the BCS games at least, is per team. So Michigan and Wisconsin will be bring in $36M for the conference. Wisconsin brought in $21M from the Rose Bowl last year BTW.
I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
December 6th, 2011 at 2:48 PM |
HOLY F**K
HOLY F**K
you are right, so each team gets double from above.
MY BAD, thanks for the help.
2013 resolution - make it onto the 2014 favorite MGoPosters post, not ironically
December 6th, 2011 at 10:50 AM |
While I belive the money from
While I belive the money from
While I belive the money from bowls is split equally among the member teams of the B1G, is there any expense money first paid to the schools that are actually invited to bowls or do the really crappy teams just get a windfall?
December 6th, 2011 at 11:07 AM |
Crappy teams get a windfall
Crappy teams get a windfall
Crappy teams get a windfall for the most part. From a purely $ point of view, you are better off never going to a bowl. Hoosier your Daddy now?
M'Dog
December 6th, 2011 at 10:33 AM |
I'll just get out of my Barcalounger to say this . . .
I'll just get out of my Barcalounger to say this . . .
It's all USF & G's fault.
The universe was a well-ordered place before they started in with the Sugar Bowl corporate-creep.
It was the first crack in the dam.
Love & Hate are horns on the same goat.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:40 AM |
did anyone else
did anyone else
catch the speed reference?
- The Team, The Team, The Team.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:56 AM |
HttV Wolverine?
HttV Wolverine?
Is that you?
Man ball. Formerly, somebody else.
December 6th, 2011 at 11:31 AM |
I don't know who
I don't know who
HttV wolverine is....no that's not me.
- The Team, The Team, The Team.
December 6th, 2011 at 11:02 AM |
I buried a ton of references
I buried a ton of references
I buried a ton of references in this one, each meant as a little nod to subtle marketing. See if you can spot 'em.
(Blogger alias: "Misopogon") This team is under construction. We thank you for your patience.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:40 AM |
Why aren't you doing the
Why aren't you doing the
Why aren't you doing the corporate sponsors for the big bowls? Speaking of which, maybe Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises should sponsor the Big Bowl Big Bowl.
- Allstate Sugar Bowl? Meh, clearly a corporate money-grub
- Tostitos Fiesta Bowl? Actually works and one of the few I like
- The Rose Bowl Game Presented by Vizio? Eh, at least it emphasizes the game more than the sponsors, although it also conjures up images of the Chicago Bears presented by BankOne (now Chase)
- Discover Orange Bowl? Could be worse, I guess, although I'd like to see a Tropicana Orange Bowl or Simply Orange Bowl ;)
For my privacy, my new username is "non-Oriental non-Andrew"
December 6th, 2011 at 11:37 AM |
Speaking of lettuce...
Speaking of lettuce...
The Salad Bowl! One of the short lived predecessors to the Fiesta Bowl in Phoenix, held between 1948 and 1952, seemingly to give Arizona's teams a bowl game. ASU and UofA were in it 3 out of the 5 years it was played, though I'm sure the inaugural game, featuring Nevada beating North Texas State Teachers College 13-6, was thrilling.
December 6th, 2011 at 1:01 PM |
Sunkist
Sunkist
The Orange Bowl was the Sunkist Orange Bowl for a while, which at least made a certain amount of sense.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:41 AM |
las vegas bowl
las vegas bowl
could also be called the Sin City Bowl.
- The Team, The Team, The Team.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:41 AM |
Chick-fil-A
Chick-fil-A
You know, I have a pretty thick skin and have taken a lot of criticism and flaming on this blog. But I MUST draw the line when it comes to bad-mouthing Chick-fil-A. Not cool, Seth. Not cool. The #1 combo at Chick-fil-A is the greatest thing in the world, sent down from above. Dangle one of those in front of my nose, with Chick-fil-A sauce, and I will follow you to the end of the Earth. Make that a "large" and I will kill for you. I'm not going to sit here and let you bad-mouth Chick-fil-A! How dare you!?
Disgruntled former moderator. I got a lot of problems with you people!
December 6th, 2011 at 11:38 AM |
Like every good thing, they took it a step too far
Like every good thing, they took it a step too far
I didn't really mind the sponsorship when it was cool, regional things like Chick-fil-A (used to be the only time we'd get their awesome commercials in the north), or just wacky stuff like "Pollun Weedeater" Bowl. But pushing out the actual bowl names, and even worse, nationally known names, rather than regional (Cap 1, I'm looking at you) isn't fun, or cool.
Though I know your tongue was firmly planted in cheek trying to reminiscence about the taste of chicken...
"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk
December 6th, 2011 at 11:40 AM |
.
.
whore!
Love & Hate are horns on the same goat.
December 6th, 2011 at 12:13 PM |
Chik-fil-a does a lot of
Chik-fil-a does a lot of
Chik-fil-a does a lot of things with their lobbying/charity side that I find repugnant, so their creep into every stage of college football is deeply gross to me because of that.
#politicsfree
December 6th, 2011 at 12:59 PM |
Agreed
Agreed
I was just teasing, but you're definitely right. Although, its very difficult to reconcile the great-tasting #1 combo with the corporate policies. I'm always torn when I'm standing in line. But the delicious Chick-fil-A sauce always carries the day.
Disgruntled former moderator. I got a lot of problems with you people!
December 6th, 2011 at 2:33 PM |
Yum.
Yum.
Hands down the best single thing that comes out of Chik-fil-a: their Honey-roasted BBQ sauce. I swear, they put crack in that stuff.
I'm not a lunatic. Seriously, i'm not.
Ok, maybe just a little bit.
December 6th, 2011 at 2:57 PM |
Chick-fil-a vs Peach?
Chick-fil-a vs Peach?
I'd rather have Chick-fil-a over a peach any day, so this one is OK by me.
December 7th, 2011 at 2:16 AM |
posted from iPhone
posted from iPhone
Even a Mackinaw peach?!
I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:45 AM |
the san fransisco bowl
the san fransisco bowl
Can we call it the Frisco melt bowl? It kills two birds with one stone. You know where it is and you can fight hunger with it.
- The Team, The Team, The Team.
December 6th, 2011 at 12:10 PM |
Emerald Bowl
Emerald Bowl
I actually liked Emerald Bowl for this one: SF refers to itself as the Emerald City. Also, it was at one point sponsored by Emerald Nuts, which was very apropos.
December 6th, 2011 at 1:04 PM |
Emerald City?
Emerald City?
When has SF ever referred to itself as the Emerald City? I lived there for 8 years and never heard that, nor does it make any sense for a city in a semi-arid mediterranean climate.
I have heard Seattle referred to as the Emerald City, which would make sense.
December 6th, 2011 at 10:46 AM |
Money from BCS bowls - why the same?
Money from BCS bowls - why the same?
I see $18 mil listed for the Sugar, Fiesta, Rose, and Orange Bowls. Why would the income from each of these be the same? It would seem that given capacity, cache (of Rose in particular,) infrastructure costs, etc., that there would be a significant disparity between the four BCS bowls.
"It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up." Vince Lombardi
Outback is cool