Previously: Krushed By Stauskas (Illinois 2014)

We've come to know and love Indiana as the Big Ten's agent of chaos, excepting the butt-clenching three hours most every year when they play Michigan close wire to wire before falling short. The Hoosiers haven't beaten the Wolverines during my lifetime, yet they've come inches away from providing some of my most painful sports memories. This is the essence of modern Indiana football.

In 2009, we didn't know it was going to be like this. The programs hadn't played since 2006, a Michigan blowout. The Hoosiers hadn't ended the game within a score since 1999, when they had generational talent Antwaan Randle El. Their last win was in 1987. Yes, Michigan was coming off their worst year in... ever. They had a quarterback now and a win against Notre Dame. This was still Indiana. Michigan made it their homecoming game.

Our introduction: “The Wolverines and Hoosiers have already won three games apiece. That’s as many games as both teams won all of last season.”

Indiana had beaten Eastern Kentucky, Western Michigan, and Akron. The first two were one-score games at home. Those technically count, I guess.

While Michigan had easily beaten Eastern Michigan and—oh, hey—Western Michigan, Notre Dame had exposed some serious holes in the defense. It wouldn't take the Hoosiers long to find the gaps; after taking the opening kickoff, they went 80 yards in 11 plays, scoring on a fourth-and-two option pitch to receiver Tanden Doss. Doss easily broke the contain of redshirt freshman walk-on safety Jordan Kovacs, making his first career start.

It took Rich Rodriguez's offense all of two plays and 23 seconds to knot it up. Tate Forcier threw a flare screen to Carlos Brown and, well, let's just say Brown didn't have to deal with much contact:

Upon closer inspection, Martavious Odoms made one of the Mountain Goat Blocks of the Decade:

Pahokee forever.

[After THE JUMP: Even more Carlos Brown! Bad Forcier! Good Forcier! A Denard cameo! "Simultaneous possession"! Gum flying through the air!]

For a large chunk of the first quarter, it looked like Michigan had weathered Indiana's only decent punch and would cruise to victory. The next two IU drives went three-and-out. In between, Brown again ran unimpeded through the Hoosier secondary for a long touchdown:

Alas, after a Michigan three-and-out, Indiana had a two-play touchdown drive of their own, tying the game at 14. The visitors added a field goal to take the lead, then another after Forcier gifted them a possession deep in M territory:

Forcier, and also every Michigan fan:

Forcier's very bad decision spurred Rodriguez to insert fellow freshman Denard Robinson for two possessions. The first went great. Robinson hit Kevin Koger for a long gain down the middle, then Brandon Minor raged through the middle for a 12-yard TD on a read option that drew the defense's attention to Robinson.

On the second possession, Robinson lost a fumble on the Michigan 25, ending that experiment. IU kicker Nick Freeland made his third field goal of the quarter to give IU a 23-21 halftime lead. Butts were clenched. That continued during an uneventful third quarter in which Freeland added yet another field goal while the Wolverines punted on all three of their possessions.

It's as if the teams wanted to get straight to what we'd come to know as a typical Indiana fourth quarter. Forcier wrested the lead back by leaping over the pylon on a third-down rollout scramble. After a Carlos Brown false start (...) set the offense back five yards, Forcier leapt into danger again on the two-point conversion, this time requiring assistance to reach paydirt:

Just like they drew it up. This is the lead that would last, right?

Here's the very next play from scrimmage:

Ah, well. It turned out a bad check at the line by Ryan Van Bergen—and, yes, some bad pursuit angles—led to the Darius Willis touchdown. With 151 yards, Willis accounted for over 17% of his career total on this day, and over half of that came on one play. This is when I mention that Greg Robinson coordinated this defense.

Forcier had to turn in some heroics. He proved up to the task, scrambling five yards to pick up a critical first down, then taking advantage of some classic Indiana secondary play to find Odoms for the go-ahead score:

Now the onus fell on the much-maligned defense to come up with a stop. They'd let IU outgain Michigan by a substantial margin while ceding over seven yards per pass attempt and six per rush. The Hoosiers had over two minutes to move the ball 74 yards. The Wolverines had a secondary of Donovan Warren and flashing "throw at me" signs.

Indiana quarterback Ben Chappell decided to throw at Warren, which is the only reason I can find a shred of karmic comeuppance in the subsequent, hilarious call:

"Bill Lynch, incensed" is a candidate for understatement of 2009. The play somehow stood on review; Michigan ran out the clock to preserve the 36-33 victory and keep the dream of a decent season alive for one more week.

It'd be Michigan's last win against an FBS team in 2009. At least it was memorable.

In the aftermath, Brian summed up the feeling that we'd experience again, and again, and again:

Tate Forcier dropped back to throw and Martavious Odoms broke open and Forcier lofted it. I swear to you that on an overcast, steel-gray day a sliver of light slipped through the clouds to linger on the object's parabolic, causing its rain-slicked surface to glitter as it reached its apex. It started to come back down, and Odoms slowed fractionally, allowing the Indiana safety—

Aw, hell. Indiana? No offense to a program the evidently warranted more respect than Vegas or this here blog offered in the run-up to the game, but passages of soaring majesty get ruined when a Hoosier is mentioned. Since Wangler-to-Carter, when Indiana was 8-4, moments of glory against Indiana only come in one form: oh thank God we didn't lose to Indiana.*

So, yeah: thank God we didn't lose to Indiana.

Phew.