Should I hire someone to abduct my wife?
Since today is ask-the-board-absurdly-personal-questions day, I was wondering if you all could help me with a predicament. I need money, and I need it BADLY. I may or may not have committed fraud and could be in serious trouble with a major automotive manufacturer, and I desperately need about a million dollars to remedy the situation and get a do-over. I've already tried pitching a killer investment opportunity to my wealthy father in law but that fell flat on its face. Is it worth hiring some guys to kidnap my wife and demand ransom, and then we split the money? This seems to be the only option right now. Please help!
I say do it... but we need pics and details after it’s done. Good luck
Most importantly......
this his should be marked “OT”
August 4th, 2019 at 12:15 AM ^
No pics means it didn’t happen.
Most Importantly...
Take mine too...package deal is always a better deal
You can’t capture my future Sparty wife.
Sorry, but I already asked her for a date because she got tired of waiting for you.
Mean Joe beat you to it.
I assumed that this was a thread started by The Fugitive, I was wrong.
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You betcha
As I remember, it didn't work out too well in Fargo. But then life doesn't have to imitate art.
I did not see this post when I posted below.
Finally, a new topic that makes sense.
I don't know what to make of this thread, but I can't stop laughing at this post! Hilarious.
I have the perfect answer, except you didn't designate this thread as OT. Too bad, bro.
It's self evidently not OT
August 3rd, 2019 at 11:47 PM ^
Hire Marshawn Lynch...but beware...he uses naughty words.
Nah, just kick back and rent a movie. Maybe Fargo or something like that. Oh wait, looks like you might've already seen it.
Yes. Look up a man name Creed in Scranton, PA.
Didn't know Creed was out.
August 3rd, 2019 at 10:33 PM ^
I think Dean Mutherfucker Jones might be available....
I would just do it yourself--the fewer people who know, the better. Either that, or get on the dark web.
You could also convince her to join the Xforce, she'll be dead in no time :)
Lol, great reference. So when I watched the first DP it ends with his credits screen where he comes out in that robe and is like "what are you all still doing here? Go home."
I didn't realize that was a tribute to ferris buellers day off until I saw it recently - what a great tribute too since FB was one of the original 4th wall breakers!
Cheers.
Seriously though, can't people weigh the pros and cons themselves and make their own decisions instead of going to a SPORTS BLOG on the internet for life advice?
August 4th, 2019 at 12:57 AM ^
Maybe
Hopefully you're smarter than Jerry Lundegaard and don't hire Slippery Pete from Seinfeld and a funny looking little guy to do the deed.
August 3rd, 2019 at 11:54 PM ^
We're not a bank, Jerry.
Hopefully you're smarter than Jerry Lundegaard and don't hire Slippery Pete from Seinfeld and a funny looking little guy to do the deed.
We go to pancakes house.
I'll do it ...
..but I'd like to take care of that here in Brainerd.
Ahhh.... go see the movie FARGO for further information.
the cover up is always critical
I was going to ask if Brutus had a wood chipper...
August 4th, 2019 at 12:44 AM ^
No, but he does have a beaver, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.
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David Wallace has an invention that you can invest in called “Suck It”, a vacuum that picks up kids clutter. You can get in on the ground floor and make millions!
Let me have 14 more gin n tonics and, then, I will have tonight’s winning lottery numbers. ? Sorry for your predicament.
You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me, there are ways, Dude.
Desperate people who need more money are the best suckers.
The Mgoblog answer is probably that if you are going to use the wife like this and assuming you have pics, you should really just take this issue to Kickstarter. Knowing your wife, she'll probably be all for it!
Forget the kidnapping, the important thing is that my manager says given the special circumstances, he can knock $100 off that TruCoat!
Tread lightly
I would not listen to this guy unless you want to be him for the rest of your life
I don’t care!! Put the gun down!!!
Just message me I got you fam
Sell the first wife. Get a second with the profits from the first. Once you have paid off the second wife, you can move up to a new one and live off the investment from the second. That sounds about right, right?
Hey, pump the breaks on that kind of positivity.
My wife and i I have played that game before. I was the "kidnapper."
Wait until the kids are sound asleep.
Quit drinking and go to bed
/s?