Semi-OT? - Ohio helmet-shaped birthday cake brought to work - What would you do?

Submitted by CorkyCole on April 23rd, 2012 at 5:06 PM

Usually I would NOT call this board material, but it's a slow day.  Also, I'm in a bit of a dilemma as to how to proceed and could use some assistance.

This chick from work brought a cake shaped in the form of an Ohio helmet (leftover birthday cake for her boyfriend who happens to be an Ohio nut).  I grabbed a piece when it was about 1/5 of the way gone, meaning I had no idea what the heck it was.  Just saw cake and red icing and thought I'd just go ahead and appease myself.  (It must also be noted that I live in Oklahoma City, so it would be uncommon to find an Ohio cake in the breakroom).

However, upon exiting the breakroom, she catches me with the cake in hand (knowing I'm a Michigan fan) and informs me of what it is I will be eating and proceeds with, "Hope you like it!" followed by an amused giggle.

My gut feeling is that I should just take the piece that I have along with the remaining portion of the cake and just dump it in her trash can by her cubicle as she watches, but that seems like it might be a little too harsh and unclassy.  I truly have no intentions of eating the piece I grabbed, so at the very least it will be emptied into this trash can sitting here next to me.

So I ask you, what would you do in this situation?




April 23rd, 2012 at 5:18 PM ^

If I were you, I'd eat the cake . . . unless you're significantly overweight.

Should say, there is cake, and there is cake. If it is good cake, who cares how it is decorated? Good cake doesn't come around every day. If, on the other hand, it is pretty meh box cake, well why did you take a piece anyway? Since this is on mgoblog, you might want to check out the foodie website of Brian's wife. (link is on left bar . . . sour salty bitter sweet.) I'd gladly eat most anything she made. Seems like an awesome cook.

And I'm with the poster who said to be a good sport. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Bring a Michigan cake after their victory this November. Or make a friendly wager with your co-worker. But don't be a douche.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:16 PM ^

and remember the Buckeye tears are almost as sugary sweet to taste as Spartan tears.

Seems we have quite a following here in OKC, I've run into many a Michigan fan since moving here.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:19 PM ^

Dude, it's cake. Eat it. There are hungry children in Africa and you're over here debating the ethics of eating cake vs throwing it away.  Let me channel my inner Ed Lover, "C'mon Son".


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:20 PM ^

Dude, it is a football game.  As much as we don't want to admit it, they actually educate kids there also.  Maybe not as well as we do, but really not too badly.

Eat the F'ing cake.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:21 PM ^

Before I answer I need to know a few details:

  • When you are turned towards her, do you have a direct line to her face, meaning can she see you and you see her?
  • What is the distance in meters from your desk to hers?
  • What is her current elevation and yours. Calculate this by height from the floor to the top of her head in a sitting position, and the floor to your shoulder, again, in meters.
  • What is the current baromic pressure of your office?
  • How good is your throwing arm?



April 23rd, 2012 at 5:22 PM ^

Eat it for 2 reasons:

1. Don't stoop to the level of Ohio State fans. If the cake is good, the cake is good.

2. If you must, remind yourself that your gastric juices will reduce the scarlet and grey cake into digested mush in short order.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:26 PM ^

Eat the cake because it's cake. But tomorrow, eat lots of cabbage, refried beans, and eggs. Walk over to and fill her cubicle with a particularly noxious fart. Say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess that cake didn't agree with me." Hang a maize and blue air freshener in her cube as you leave.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:28 PM ^

You should punch her in the face and then burn down the entire office building.

The cops will be too impressed to arrest you, and even if they do you will have a great rape-prevention story for prison.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:32 PM ^

I refuse to answer your question. A true fan wouldn't have to ask the question but would possess an inherent sense of what will or will not display true Michigan fandom in the choice to consume or not consume cake. And the most important thing here is that you show that you're a TRUE Michigan fan. P.S.: I'm glad that UM loyalty has now replaced penis size as the end-all and be-all.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:34 PM ^

Say no to potlucks* and free food brought in from someone's home (unless their home has passed your eye approval test). Everyone ever has cats on their countertops licking the food, along with a dirty refrigerator and dog hair everywhere unless proven otherwise. It's a fact.

*=unless the items are store or restaurant purchased. In this case, try to be at the front of the line.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:35 PM ^

You guys make it seem like such an easy decision.  She is quite attractive, but also very evil in her schemes.  That "amused giggle" was pure evil.  I just don't respond to that very well.  Hence the dilemma.

On the box where the cake rests, it is written.. "Take some, yummm."

So instead of going too far with the whole toss the cake at her/in the garbage in front of her idea, I just decided to write with permanent marker on the box, "J/k, don't.  It's poison." 

I don't really care if anything comes of it, but I feel better having done that.

Patent Pending

April 23rd, 2012 at 5:44 PM ^

I'm going to post this thread over on Bucknuts. 

There can't be too many of their kind that live in OKC, recently had a birthday and have an attractive girlfriend that works with a UM fan named Corky.

Don't be surprised if tomorrow some guy with the handle OKCBuckeye is gonna have words with you for ogling his girlfriend.


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:36 PM ^

I can't award more points to CRex and I am not happy about it.

Fix this, so the points can attend, or I will be forced to tweet you!


April 23rd, 2012 at 5:37 PM ^

You should murder your entire family in front of her like Keyser Soze to save them the shame of seeing you eat that garbage.  That will show her you mean business when it comes to college football.