OT-ish: what’s your favorite rivalry joke?
January 5th, 2020 at 5:54 PM ^
January 5th, 2020 at 5:56 PM ^
So many options. My money is on “because he mistook an Ohio state student’s brain for a piece of feed”
January 6th, 2020 at 11:27 AM ^
Why did the OSU fan cross the road?
He couldn't get his d**k out of the chicken....
January 5th, 2020 at 5:59 PM ^
You can’t spell cocksucker without OSU
January 5th, 2020 at 7:11 PM ^
Not sure that this qualifies as a joke. Just a fact.
January 5th, 2020 at 6:00 PM ^
MSU & OSU fan walking together
MSU fan-Look, dog tracks
OSU fan-No, deer tracks
MSU fan-No, those are dog tracks
OSU fan- No, trust me, those are deer tracks
Then BAM a train hit them both
January 5th, 2020 at 9:34 PM ^
Dude, they were deer tracks.
January 5th, 2020 at 6:10 PM ^
The one where we beat them in football
January 6th, 2020 at 11:04 AM ^
Loved doing the "Can't read! Can't write!" To the cadence of "go green go white" during MSU games at the big house. Close second was "smoke green snort white"
January 6th, 2020 at 1:01 PM ^
Close third, “If you can’t get into college go to State!” <clap,clap>
January 5th, 2020 at 6:26 PM ^
Johnny Carson: Holds envelope to his head, closes eyes: higher than Cheech & Chong on a Saturday night
Opens Envelope: What is MSU's acceptance rate?
January 5th, 2020 at 6:28 PM ^
“Let me see your supervisor.”
TASED
“Let me see your supervisor.”
LOSES BALANCE, falls.
“Let me see your supervisor.”
January 5th, 2020 at 6:29 PM ^
so many jokes that i just can't put on a public website. way too inappropriate. i literally had a book growing up called the Michigan Fan's guide to Ohio and Ohio State jokes or something along those lines.
then there is the old classic: do you know why Michigan isn't flooded by the great lakes? because ohio sucks.
January 5th, 2020 at 6:30 PM ^
How many MSU grads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... but he'll make sure to tell you how he did it no different than a UM grad would.
January 5th, 2020 at 6:31 PM ^
So, a Wolverine, a Bucknut, and a rabbi go into a bar. . . .
January 5th, 2020 at 6:33 PM ^
not a rivalry joke, but one worthy of repeat on this board. guess what ad banner is showing at the top of my screen?
you can't make this stuff up.....
in case it won't come through, its a HUEL ad that says 'did your brother's friend's nephew build your website?.
oh, the irony.
January 5th, 2020 at 7:47 PM ^
"HUEL" is the sound my dog makes as he barfs up the big load of grass he just ate.
January 5th, 2020 at 6:35 PM ^
What do a Michigan grad and an OSU grad have in common?
They both got into OSU
January 5th, 2020 at 11:16 PM ^
WRONG! Any prospective Michigan grad would NEVER apply to THEEEEE ohio!
January 5th, 2020 at 6:36 PM ^
The way Michigan has played against rivals has been a joke.
January 6th, 2020 at 11:07 AM ^
Ah... I see what you did there. Clever. Very clever.
January 5th, 2020 at 6:55 PM ^
We might lose to OSU but at least we don't lose as many loved ones to heroin overdoses as they do
January 5th, 2020 at 7:59 PM ^
Ohio fans have loved ones?
January 5th, 2020 at 9:41 PM ^
Logged in just to down vote this and announce to you that I did. This statement has zero "funny" and is distasteful as talking smack about someones kid. If you can't keep that kind of "funny" out of your head, keep it off this board.
January 5th, 2020 at 10:11 PM ^
How's the weather up there on your horse?
January 5th, 2020 at 7:01 PM ^
Knock, knock.
January 5th, 2020 at 7:06 PM ^
Who’s there?
January 5th, 2020 at 8:44 PM ^
Mike.
January 5th, 2020 at 9:35 PM ^
Mike Who?
January 5th, 2020 at 10:09 PM ^
Mike Jones!
January 5th, 2020 at 11:32 PM ^
I thought it was "hunt".
January 6th, 2020 at 12:18 PM ^
Mike Jones who?
January 5th, 2020 at 7:06 PM ^
If Ann Arbor’s a whore, how come you didn’t get in?
January 5th, 2020 at 7:15 PM ^
This is pre-Maryland, Nebraska and Rutger but here goes:
How many Big Ten Students does it take to change a light bulb?
-At Michigan it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.
-At Northwestern it takes three. One to change the bulb, and two to phone a friend at Michigan to get instructions.
- At Michigan State it takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.
- At Ohio State it takes five. One to change it, two to talk about how Woody would have done it, and two to throw the old bulb at Michigan students.
- At Wisconsin it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks, and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
- At Illinois it takes seven, and each one gets four semester credit hours for it.
- At Indiana it takes eight. One to screw it in, and seven to discuss how much brighter it shines during basketball season.
- At Minnesota it takes ten. Two to figure out how to screw it in, eight to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.
- At Penn State it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Penn, and 50 who realize it's all a lie.
- At Purdue it takes 12. One to change the bulb, five to take pictures, four fraternity pledges to get naked and run through the fountain screaming "They changed the Bulb!", and two engineers to run a study on the whole thing.
- At Iowa it takes none. There's no electricity in Iowa.
January 5th, 2020 at 7:33 PM ^
At Nebraska it takes 400. One to hold the bulb, and 399 to rotate the house.
January 5th, 2020 at 10:33 PM ^
Confirmed: at Michigan it takes two. But ask anyone and they'll tell you it was because of the officiating.
January 6th, 2020 at 9:45 AM ^
At Rutgers it takes two. One to try and screw it in and one to drive him to the emergency room after he accidentally stabs himself in the eye with it.
January 5th, 2020 at 7:37 PM ^
My favorite is the deer/dog one above. Other good ones:
What's the difference between an ohio state fan and a bag of shit?
The bag
What does the N on the Nebraska helmet stand for?
Nowledge
Why doesn't Wisconsin fall into Lake Michigan?
Because Minnesota sucks
January 5th, 2020 at 7:41 PM ^
There was a study done at MSU that proves 2 out of 3 sparties are as dumb as the other 1.
January 6th, 2020 at 7:15 AM ^
Username checks out.
January 5th, 2020 at 7:42 PM ^
That Michigan is still Ohio State's rival.
January 5th, 2020 at 7:54 PM ^
How many Buckeye freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a sophomore level class.
January 5th, 2020 at 8:03 PM ^
3 Spartans walk into a bar—they were too stupid to duck.
January 5th, 2020 at 8:48 PM ^
The foam rubber Marvin Martian head gear that Sparty fans think is so cool.
OSU President Gordon Gee, "I hope Jim Tressel doesn't fire me."
January 5th, 2020 at 8:49 PM ^
Nassar
January 5th, 2020 at 8:53 PM ^
Fuck osu.
January 5th, 2020 at 8:53 PM ^
I made this one and did it at an open mic a few weeks ago (I can't take total credit - it came to me after a wisecrack by one of my UM rugby buddies). I set it up a number of different ways but its most basic form is this:
Why are there no mirrors in Penn State's football facilities?
So they don't have to look themselves in the eye.
(I try not to frame it as a Sanduskie joke but as a joke about Penn State's shame)
January 5th, 2020 at 9:22 PM ^
Of the MSU/OSU variety? Probably the GIF of a spartan mascot delivering pizzas.
Of any rivalry? Probably Spurrier saying you can't spell "Citrus Bowl" without "UT".
January 5th, 2020 at 9:36 PM ^
How do you circumcise an Ohio State fan?
Kick his sister in the jaw.