MGoTWIS: Cupcake Edition [A&M UPDATE]
Florida
http://gatorchatter.com/threads/official-game-thread-uf-vs-michigan.16466/
Id rather stick a firecracker in my dick hole than watch Zaire play quarterback again.
Georgia is going to gouge our eyeballs out and skull fuck us. I also hope mac's wife leaves him after this shit
This was like one of those times when we have a really good D and they hold some cupcake to a ridiculous amount of yards and we all laugh, except this was us being cornholed by booger eating Harbaugh on national tv.
That looked like the bowl game 2 years ago, when meatchicken bent us over the barrell.
They mock us at the halftime show, hehe
I miss the days when we played Eastern Michigan for the first game instead of real Michigan
It's adults beating up on kids
My kids, 9 and 12 years old, say the offensive coach sucks.
Our coach is the laughing stock of the world
This game is making my dick soft and I paid $250 for my ticket
Fuck it I'm getting drunk
Anybody got a good rope and a sturdy ceiling fan?
A Big Ten opponent has superior athletes. Let that sink in.
Mac should be kiffined right on the field... don't even let him get to the airport
I wonder if Gray is impressed with our offense yet
They sure have Florida's number.
We broke the huddle with 12 guys. Probably because it seems like Michigan is rushing 14 or 15 guys on every play
Maybe we'll beat Michigan before I die.
I feel like 1000 invisible midgets are attacking me
Punt and give our D a chance to score.
Can we post our sad/depressed threads yet? It's all I've got left.
19 months since the last beat down by Mich. Not much has changed sadly.
Damn you Michigan
Texas
http://www.shaggytexas.com/board/showthread.php/181123-Game-1-Maryland-at-Texas
By the way, we suck. Again.
We lost to a school that has a $#@!ing turtle as their mascot. A Turtle....
I came home from the game and passed out....just waking up and realizing that wasn't a bad dream....it was real.
Wake me up when we hire Saban......
Charlie's cake was baked with rotten eggs and Herman just sneezed a big snotty sneeze right into the icing for good measure and now we've all got food poisoning
On the bright side, at least it wasn't Rutgers.
The only good thing I saw today was Herman’s wife walking off the field with those huge jugs, pure smoke
19 point favorites. Lost by 10. At home. In an opener.
Is there enough lube left on campus to take another one of these games. I think not!
At least we have sick lockers!
TIME TO GET DRUNK!!!
Texas should be forced to use the visitors locker room for the rest of the year.
We're everybody's homecoming game
$#@! you Tom Herman
At least we were Top 25 for a while.
Can Maryland even score 51 points in basketball?
This week has been a beating, first the hurricane and now this. $#@!ing hell.
Maybe we'll punch San Diego St in the mouth.
maryland coach smiled entire game
Trash team deserves trash thrown at it
I wish i was there to throw stuff
The best Texas HS players don't want to come here. They want to keep their NFL dreams alive.
I have two children who have never seen a good Texas team.
Rutgers
https://rutgers.forums.rivals.com/threads/rutgers-vs-washington-game-thread.128152
The hot tubs caught a lot of joking on the TV coverage
Sure hope Ash can recruit because his coaching leaves a lot to be desired
I like Ash but man his face always looks like he is about to crap himself
We are running out the clock on ourselves. Guess the coaches gave up too
Half the stadium and 90 perecent of students have bolted
There's the classic Schiano over pursue defense
It was entertaining for two quarters longer than I expected
Excitement and hope turns to depression and despair in 15 quick minutes
Our offensive philosophy is still dogshit
Here comes the blowout. Ash sucks !!
Same old BS. Maybe we'll get a participation trophy for covering the spread...assuming we cover the spread
Fire ash
Florida State
https://floridastate.forums.rivals.com/threads/official-fsu-v-bama-game-thread.184534
At least we are getting sympathy calls now
At least the Marching Chiefs are trying
The narrative of Jimbo Fisher being an offenisve genius/best play caller in the country bs makes me sick
Our cheerleaders are hotter
Tonight could not have not gone worse
Whoever is in charge of this mess should have to hitchhike back to Tallahassee
We will win this game....... I’m declaring it right now
Our special teams isn't the type of special you're looking for
We have the worst kicker in the history of kickers
Texas A&M
https://texags.com/forums/5/topics/2878393
You would think that 5 million/year would get you a coach that could hold on to a 44-10 lead late in the third quarter
All my A&M gear just went into the Harvey donation box
Bailure: "Nothing is more embarrassing in an opener then getting beat by an online school" A&M: "Hold my beer"
GOD I HATE YOU SUMLIN.....AND CHIEF YOU ARE RIGHT THERE AS WELL
Nobody could lose that game...
We'll be in highlight videos for years! Again.
We sux more D than hoe in the red light district.
Lol.....we thought tu and Baylol was the laughing stock. Boy were we wrong
What an embarrassing weekend for TX fooball across the board.
Don't let Sumlin on the plane
Im off to Google "autoerotic asphyxiation"
We need the gatorade spiked with Viagra at every halftime
Number 81 is jizzing all over us and we sit there taking it like a bunch of little *****es
This is like watching a train wreck
I want someone to go stick a gatorade bottle up sumlin's anal cavity
Staff is doing clean up and deleting threads about the pimp stick - lol
Sumlin should be beat with that thing
I can't even. These coaches need their asses sent to Guantanamo
Mora cant believe it, sumlin is going to save his job.
How do the players just not punch him in the face is beyond me
"It is pleasant, when the sea is high and the winds are dashing the waves about, to watch from the shores the struggles of another" -Livy
September 3rd, 2017 at 2:31 PM ^
September 4th, 2017 at 12:15 AM ^
CAN WE PLEASE GET AN UPDATED VERSION FOR TEXAS A&M?????
It's shocking how horrid the state of college football is in Texas given their high school talent. Texas, Baylor and A&M all go down in hilarious ways!
September 5th, 2017 at 10:55 AM ^
A&M update was good, but I was really excited for the Tennessee update. Almost, damnit.
September 5th, 2017 at 4:07 PM ^
September 3rd, 2017 at 4:01 PM ^
September 3rd, 2017 at 4:30 PM ^
September 5th, 2017 at 4:06 PM ^
I'm guessing he'll just hold it there for awhile.
September 3rd, 2017 at 6:28 PM ^
Thank you for this! Saves me a little time. Looking forward to Sparty's contribution next week.
September 3rd, 2017 at 6:42 PM ^
I bet they are feeling overly optimistic after they beat powerhouse BGSU.
September 3rd, 2017 at 6:29 PM ^
Thanks for putting this together. I've missed TWIS.
September 3rd, 2017 at 6:32 PM ^
reason #1,432,879 this is my favorite website
September 3rd, 2017 at 6:37 PM ^
"Id rather stick a firecracker in my dick hole than watch Zaire play quarterback again."
September 3rd, 2017 at 6:45 PM ^
"Maybe we'll beat Michigan before I die."
LOL
September 3rd, 2017 at 6:56 PM ^
September 3rd, 2017 at 7:08 PM ^
They admitted it:
Possibly worst of all: Michigan, a Big 10 team, had MUCH more team speed than we did. Think about that. We looked slow against them all day.http://gatorchatter.com/threads/bits-pieces-florida-vs-michigan.16573/p…
September 3rd, 2017 at 7:11 PM ^
September 3rd, 2017 at 7:08 PM ^
"I miss the days when we played Eastern Michigan for the first game instead of real Michigan."
And EMU takes a cheap shot. LOL.
September 3rd, 2017 at 7:26 PM ^
of the Seminole and the phallic on TV. Priceless lol
September 3rd, 2017 at 9:38 PM ^
September 3rd, 2017 at 10:20 PM ^
- The offensive line—now under new management! Again!—could not block Michigan. They could not block Michigan when they got their assignments right. They could not block Michigan when they got them wrong, because on many snaps the Wolverines had men rushing unabated to the quarterback. It’s hard to even say whether Feleipe Franks had a good or bad game for the same reason it’s hard to say whether the Triceratops had a good forty yard dash. I’d like to tell you and evaluate this with you, but something blew it up before I could even get to looking at it.
- It was hard to say whether Michigan’s Rashan Gary had a greater game than the rest of his fellow linemen: They all got penetration, all disrupted whatever Florida was trying to do, and were all basically Rashan Gary. Congratulations, Michigan. If you play a team with a line as bad as Florida’s offensive line is at the moment, you have at least five Rashan Garys on the team, each indistinguishable from the other in meanness, speed, and ability to blow up what an offense is even thinking about trying to do.
September 3rd, 2017 at 11:59 PM ^
I'd like to nominate both UCLA (first half) and TAMU (second half) for a special addendum.
I've grabbed a couple just based on some Google searches for blogs, but I have a feeling that there are more to be mined...
UCLA:
Guerrero should commit hara-kiri at midfield
> seppuku is reserved for those with honor...
I wish I could suck at my job
Have zero accountability
And make millions.
The American dream
Rosen should've followed Harbaugh
He doesn’t deserve this and UCLA doesn’t deserve him.
TAMU:
Can we find a conference where the games are only one half?
No 20 point lead is safe when Gus Johnson is calling the game.
Even with the big lead, I kept saying It’s not the second half yet. The true test is how they do in the second half. Looks like not much has changed. FUCK!
We have timeouts Sumlin, we have timeouts
> going to need them in a minute..
unfortunately, our defense catches as well as our receivers.
September 4th, 2017 at 12:17 AM ^
Thank you so much for doing this. Seriously. Best thing ever.
September 4th, 2017 at 2:21 AM ^
September 4th, 2017 at 6:00 AM ^
Now I know Tom Herman's wife has "huge jugs". +1 Informative.
September 4th, 2017 at 6:37 AM ^
September 4th, 2017 at 6:50 AM ^
September 4th, 2017 at 10:16 AM ^
I believe OSU/PSU started that one lol.
September 4th, 2017 at 8:21 PM ^
OSU, for years.
Yeah, I know.
September 4th, 2017 at 10:34 AM ^
September 4th, 2017 at 8:52 PM ^
September 5th, 2017 at 12:18 AM ^
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