Unverified Voracity Says Let's Win Football
SPORTS. TALK. RADIO. A somewhat agitated man called into WTKA after the game Saturday night. That guy can get bent with his engineering cracks. If the football team was as good as solar car we'd all have burned out dopamine receptors.
It could be worse! It could be equally as bad. Let's check in with our friends at Texas.
The eloquent Scipio Tex on a hamblasting at the hands of BYU:
Anyone coming into this game expecting a solid or even reasonably functional offense was delusional, but cold reality stings even when you know there's a blizzard outside and you're dressed only in a garter belt and a ball gag leaping from a 3rd story window into a snow bank...
Don't ask.
Metaphorically been there, bro. And literally, but let's focus on the metaphorically please.
Meanwhile in MS paint penises. We made Shamepaint, a couple times. This is the one I can put on the blog:
![14week2-5[1]](https://mgoblog.com/sites/mgoblog.com/files/images/UV_9BE4/14week2-51.png "14week2-5[1]")
So we're still better than my friend Kit.
That's over I guess. Penn State's sanctions are over as arbitrarily and suddenly as they were imposed. Suddenly free to go to the Pinstripe Bowl, Penn State fans reacted like college students do when given the slightest pretext:
Here is today’s PDF of the paper, featuring coverage after Penn State’s bowl ban is lifted: http://t.co/QgvonVr5SH pic.twitter.com/aFuB66vy5b
— The Daily Collegian (@DailyCollegian) September 9, 2014 The previous day's Collegian was exactly the same except the headline read ONE DOLLAR TACOS.
So that may explain that. Derrick Green got a lot more carries than De'Veon Smith despite not being at all effective with them. Here is a potential reason why:
@AceAnbender DeVeon Smith is limping pretty bad around campus. No boot or brace, but he's walking like a baby deer.
— Nick McLaren (@xDQ44) September 8, 2014 #BabyDeer4RB
Here is a list of potential SMU hires I am linking for no particular reason. Michigan's going to have more access than SMU if they need to make a coaching change at the end of the season, but Harbaugh Hail Marys aside the landscape isn't going to look too different than this list of eight candidates to replace June Jones after his sudden resignation. It's heavy on offensive coordinators, with those of Ohio State, Clemson, Baylor, and Oklahoma on the list along with some washed up dudes. (Butch Davis! Rick Neuheisel!) Michigan has a bunch of midlevel head coaches they can grab… it's just that there aren't any.
If you think that's excessively grim, look around the college football landscape for an established, pluckable head coach with a track record that makes you warm and fuzzy. I don't see one. Texas grabbed the best idea out there when they hired Charlie Strong to repair the damage letting Mack Brown hang on way too long caused. Washington picked off Chris Petersen. Penn State got James Franklin. There's nobody at a midlevel BCS program who's an obvious next big thing a la Meyer or Sumlin.
Unless you think Michigan can swoop in on a Texas A&M or Oklahoma State—extremely doubtful—there are virtually no available coaches who finished in the top 25 last year except George O'Leary (hooray!) and Todd Graham (because Todd Graham is always available). David Cutcliffe is 59; Art Briles is 58 (and not leaving).
The best bet outside the HHM may be Craig Bohl, who led NDSU to three consecutive national titles and various upsets of nearby I-A teams. Dual problems: he just got hired by Wyoming and he's 56.
Maybe someone will cut a hot swath of death through some conference or another, but legit A-level hires have track records of performing over expectations over a number of years. With Petersen, Strong, and Franklin off the board the pickings are slim. They get even slimmer if you insist on a coach who runs a program that looks like 1990s Michigan, because fewer and fewer programs do that.
Hail Harbaugh full of grace and all that, then. Or ripping off ten straight wins and going to the Rose Bowl. Either one. Preferably the latter. It could happen!
AT LEAST WE COULD PROBABLY UNFOLD SOME FRIGGIN SHEETS OF CLOTH.
Notre Dame student section fails to unfold the banners of the Ireland flag @deadspin pic.twitter.com/YX8LYJEeT5
— Tyler Koppes (@TBooty_88) September 7, 2014 Actually, I wonder about that after the Great Card Stunt of 2012, which was not exactly North Korea quality. We are a goatish people, we Michigan fans: hard to lead, prone to irritating bleating, capable of grudgingly eating anything put in front of our face.
This week in People In Charge Of Things Are Just In Charge Of Them. Nothing about what Ray Rice did changed in the last couple days, but once people actually saw him knocking out his wife all of a sudden Rice is gone from the league. NFL officials are either 1) worse than TMZ at getting video, 2) lied to everyone about having saw it, or 3) saw it and thought two games was okay.
This is a comprehensive failure by an idiot. He's an idiot who makes 45 million dollars a year, and he's an idiot because he thinks this makes him untouchable. See Donald Sterling, Dan Snyder, etc. People in charge of things are not necessarily deserving of such a position and their judgments should be questioned, because no one inside these organizations is successfully doing so.
Meanwhile, elite sportswriters are hand-picked PR organs.
Par for the course. Obligatory hot take on the Hoke quote du jour:
'If they're truly fans, they'll believe in these kids ... If they're not, they won't'
See MGoBlog article "Fickle" on this.
It is not the fans' fault that this program is awful to be a fan of. It's not Rich Rodriguez's fault. Anyone who sells their ticket for whatever they can get—currently 60 bucks and dropping from 80 yesterday—is only making a logical decision to not get punched in the soul dong on Saturday.
You are a true fan if you want the team to win a lot. Believing is optional, and right now kind of dumb.
Etc.: Shut up, Jim Delany, it is most definitely not premature to judge the Big Ten. Michigan Monday, hooray. Miami (Not That Miami) is not good. M is a 31.5 point favorite and YOU JUST HAD TO PICK THAT LINE, VEGAS, SERIOUSLY?
The new Stanford Tree is something. The Chad Lindsay sweepstakes was kind of overrated. Dude just retired. Students! Here is this link to some anagrams for no reason.
September 9th, 2014 at 12:52 PM ^
If we're worried about stability and all we need is a large D-line coach who knows how to recruit, we might as well get one who can evaluate talent. And is a Cajun.
Coach O is coming, bitches! Make it so, Brandon, and all will be forgiven.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:03 PM ^
This marks the first time that Coach O has been classified under "stability."
September 9th, 2014 at 1:27 PM ^
DACOACHO!!!!
September 9th, 2014 at 12:53 PM ^
They crowd-surfing with mattresses. Back in my day...
September 9th, 2014 at 12:53 PM ^
September 9th, 2014 at 2:26 PM ^
Brian's written some great stuff after big wins. His columns after we beat MSU in basketball are always fantastic.
September 9th, 2014 at 12:57 PM ^
Where does Paul in Toledo get off running down engineers? He can kiss my ME ass.
September 9th, 2014 at 12:59 PM ^
Deveon Smith limping around campus. Why not.
Captain's log September 9th: "We're taking on water at an increasingly accelerated rate. It's a good thing we're unsinkable."
September 9th, 2014 at 1:00 PM ^
Pretty good impersonation there of Valenti's infamous "Hurricane Katrina" rant.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:01 PM ^
to me is irrelevant. Yeah, it'd be nice to get someone who is in his early 40's and might be here for 2+ decades. At this point though, if a coaching change is made I just want someone who can turn it around. Whether that person is 40, 50 or 60, I do not care.
September 9th, 2014 at 2:36 PM ^
and that has worked out okay. [I appreciate that football ain't basketball and that somewhat more youth might be preferable]
September 9th, 2014 at 1:08 PM ^
With all due respect Brian, UM's list of coaching candidtaes is not as grim as SMU. Aloow me to offer a name you may not have considered: Indiana University HC Kevin Wilson. I know, I know he has a "losing record" as a HC. Probably behooves you and your readers to look a little deeper. First, it's IU fergodsakes. Nobody wins there. Second, Wilson cut his teeth at the knee of the late, great Randy Walker - first at UNC, then Miami (ntm) and also at NW. Wilson then went on to become the OC at Oklahoma for about a half dozen years when they converted to a spread offense quite successfully. In 2008, he was the Broyles award winner which is given to the top assistant in CFB.
No doubt many UM fans would dismiss Wilson out of hand based on his W/L record and any reference to the word "spread" in the wake of the RichRod debacle. I'd encourage everyone to look again. UM fans have seen Wilson's spread firsthand at NW and now IU. It scared me then and it scares me now. Imagine the horsepower he'd have in A2. And btw, his is not a read-option spread built around Pahokee smurfs but rather an aerial + ground attack spread that we can most certainly run successfully at Michigan. It's a nice blend of the past (manball) and the future.
Seriously. You're welcome.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:10 PM ^
He would have been an nice RR replacement (not that the fans at the time would have even considered it for a moment) but at this point that would make four 180 changes in direction in 7-8 years (a 720?). This fan base probably doesn't have another 3 year rebuilding process in them.
September 9th, 2014 at 2:39 PM ^
Is it really another 180 change? Aren't we currently running a lot of spread formation with inside zone, and even zone reads? Is it really all that different to go from what we're doing a lot of now to what Wilson is doing? Wilson's also coached statuesqe QBs such as Jason White and Sam Bradford. I think he would be just peachy with the offensive talent we've accumulated.
To me, Wilson is exactly the kind of offensive mind we should be looking at. He's flexible with his system and adjusts so that he can play the best possible talent he can put on the field. If he can get IU to 7 or 8 wins in the regular season this year, I could get on the Wilson bandwagon.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:13 PM ^
for starters...
Imagine the horsepower he'd have in A2!
September 9th, 2014 at 1:26 PM ^
I'd take Kevin Wilson in 4 secs at 5 million if it meant he'd be running a Sam Bradford-esque shotgun spread that Oklahoma was running circa 2008.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:37 PM ^
Agree with you that UM and SMU's lists would be different, but I disagree about Wilson. Wilson = RR 2.0. Fantastic offensive mind for sure... his offenses at OU and now IU have been great. But the guy can't put together a defense to save his life. Think about how bad our offense was last year, then think about how many points we scored on Wilson's team. Yeah, no thanks.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:57 PM ^
mgobrad: I get the concern about Wilson's defense. But just as a defensive minded coach must hire a great offensive mind as OC (like Bob Stoops and many others have done) a great offensive minded coach must find a great DC (like Spurrier, Meyer and Petrino have done). RichRod's problem was that we was too damn stubborn to keep his hands off the defense (Schafer) or that when he did hire a DC, the guy was lousy (GERG). Hell, keep Mattison and the entire defensive staff for all I care.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:09 PM ^
I agree with Brian that the list of candidates out there is low - very few sure things, and it feels much like previous coaching searches in that regard. It seems we are always a year "off" in that regard. It is also sad we now have multiple recent events to compare to. I will say Sumlin was also no sure thing - I think Urbz had 2 back to back blockbuster periods at first the MAC and then Utah before Florida snatched him. Sumlin had a "gadget offense" at Houston, not different from Mike Leach. He was no sure thing - plenty of guys like that fail miserably.
But yes you dont want anyone with 1 great year - Hoke had 1 great year at Ball State. It took him 6 years to get there and the year after he left the program imploded back to 2-10. So he built a team, not a program. You need someone who actually builds a system/program... that at least lasts 2 years or so after you leave exhibiting you left your mark on the kids left behind.
I know you made fun of Todd Graham but he seems to me to be the best of the bunch in terms of guys (a) WITH a track record and (b) AT a school we can pull someone away from with the realization there is nothing UM offers a guy like Sumlin over his current station other than (1) more historical wins and (2) a lot easier conference to get into the playoffs.
Graham was at Tulsa for 4 years, 3 of them were double digit win seasons. That's track record. He had a quick pitt stop (pun intended) at Pitt, and now is doing solid things at Arizona which is a basketball schoool. As we are now too a basketball school he seems like a good fit. He coaches in a legit conference with legit teams like Stanford, USC, Oregon. So nothing in the Big 10 is going to better than that.
Further he makes $2M. Being the head coach at UM doubles your salary. He is 49 years old - maybe it doesnt matter because he has a wandering eye but if UM is a "destination job" he could be here 20 years if it works out. So outside the Hail Harbaugh or Hail Cowher or take a flier at a 1 year wonder, he seems like a decent attempt. I dont know anything about his "cultural fit" or whatever nonsense we are using nowadays.
I think we have to give up on "coach with ties to Ohio" at this point as there are really almost no candidates I can think of, of similar ilk, who have ties with Ohio. You need to retain a Manning on staff, keep coach Heck, get a DC who has ties to Ohio and build from there.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:12 PM ^
"He had a quick pitt stop (pun intended) at Pitt, and now is doing solid things at Arizona which is a basketball schoool. As we are now too a basketball school he seems like a good fit."
Arizona STATE is most decidely not a basketball school.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:19 PM ^
The guy at Arizona would make a great hire. He built a Sugar Bowl champion team at his last job and since he got to Tucson the Wildcats are two games better than Michigan in the win column. He's also beaten a few of those legit teams like USC and Oregon (and lost in OT at Stanford). We better act fast though because once he gets his recruits on board he might be hard to pry away, even from a basketball school.
Does anybody have that guy's number?
September 9th, 2014 at 1:32 PM ^
No issue getting corrected Purple - had a brain fart with AZ v AZ St.
Dennis Erickson had a 5 year reign at Arizona State, great in year 1 than bombed down to 5-7, 4-8, 6-6, 6-7 the next 4 years.
Then Graham comes in - they go 8-5, and 10-4. The 10-4 included 2 losses to Stanford. He beat coaches such as Mora Jr and Sark already.
Last year, they beat Wisconsin on that wacky end of game thing, lost to ND by 3 on neutral field , smashed USC, lost to Stanford twice (no shame in that) , beat Sark (UW) who is now at USC , beat UCLA. He did this with Erickson's players and I assume no excuses about transitions.
First year he was 8-5 with losses to Oregon, UCLA (by 2), USC, and Missouri. Those are all legit losses in your first year of the program. The only "weird" loss was Oregon State. That is in year 1 without any of your players.
Look I have no idea if he transitions here or will succeed here. I am looking at the few guys with a track record of success wherever they go and are viable to come here rather than pie in the sky dreams. I can't find many with his track record or near it.
Further his coaching career is based on the east coast (WVU) so hits a prime recruiting spot of NJ to VA, and the deep south (Tulsa hits Texas and Oklahoma). He is now in AZ so he has some basis for recruiting in CA. I doubt he has much midwest presence with 1 year at Pittsburgh but you can solve that with coordinators or position coaches. Id rather have a guy who can coach his balls off but misses some relationships in the midwest than a guy who has every relationship in the book but is average at coaching which is what we have now IMO. We see with Beilein it is more important to be able to coach up players - if Graham is similar to Beilein if we get those guys from OH or Virginia I dont care.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:37 PM ^
Not sure Graham would be my first choice since I haven't seen him build a program at the BCS level yet (I like to look at year 4 and beyond to judge what a guy can put together), but he would definitely be an improvement over the current situation as far as I'm concerned.
September 9th, 2014 at 10:04 PM ^
But you haven't looked at year 4 and beyond to determine whether or not Hoke can build a program....
September 9th, 2014 at 1:19 PM ^
Damnit! Correct.
Sorry - I hate when I am clever without facts. (Arizona is not Arizona State)
Ok Arizona State is not traditionally good in anything - including basketball. We are a least a basketball school.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:31 PM ^
Honestly, Todd Graham would be a phenominal hire. I could care less if he is not a squeaky clean, BIG ten orangatang (no clue how to spell that). He is a phenominal coach that turned ASU from a complete dumpster fire into a title contendar in the Pac-12.
If you truly believe that Michigan has a cancerous program and team culture (I do..) then Graham would be an elite hire. I have never seen a more cancerous locker room than Dennis Erickson's final years at ASU (most penalized team in the NCAA, players not giving a shit and getting trashed before games, Vontaze Burfict being Vontaze)and cleaning it immediatelySeptember 9th, 2014 at 1:35 PM ^
I see from your screen name you are familiar with that state. Can you tell us a bit about his personality? I am curious myself. I am just reading up and studying his past, I dont know where he fits on the Saban-Urban-Dantonio-Kelly-Gundy-Miles happy meter. Is he a strict coach? What is his sideline emotion? Etc. Thanks.
September 9th, 2014 at 2:15 PM ^
Surely.. I have only met the guy once or twice but have seen him in action for the past 3 season.
Todd is a solid guy. Not Brady Hoke solid, but personable enough to get behind as a fan. He is lighthearted with the ASU fan base and seems to enjoy himself at the events / fundraisers. He strikes me as a bit cheesy but a good cheesy. He is from Texas and if you cant deal with a Texas-sized personality you may not like him. Honestly, he has a little Rich Rod in him (they are very similar in their overall demeanor off the field and on the field) In terms of coaching style, he is a defensive guy (calls ASU's defensive plays). He has hired an offensive wizard in Mike Norvell (seriously, watch ASU's offense. It is beautiful). Mike's young and has been with T.G. for a while.September 9th, 2014 at 1:36 PM ^
You want to go from a no headset guy to this?
September 9th, 2014 at 1:45 PM ^
Whoever had "before week 3" in the "when will Michigan fans, with no trace of irony, attempt to talk themselves into Todd Graham this season" sweepstakes, please collect your winnings.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:56 PM ^
But how long are his sleeves?
September 9th, 2014 at 2:17 PM ^
If that guy with a headset contributes on game-day than ya, I am ok with that. F.W.I.W. T.G. calls the defense at ASU
September 9th, 2014 at 1:08 PM ^
First, yet again we see that video evidence is huge for public opinion, just like it was here in the case of a WR punching a rando at Skeeps. Reading "he hit his wife in the elevator" is one thing. People can imagine a confrontation, a love-tap-and-slip, etc. Video bares exactly what happend, no lawyer "hypotheticals" anymore. That said, I thought Bill Simmons did a good job of skewering Goodell before the video came out, much less now that it's public. Goodell doesn't think he's untouchable because he makes $44M/year - he thinks he's untouchable because he makes the owners BILLIONS.
Also, Paul from Toledo GTFO - engineering is something we are awesome at. (BSME 2009)
September 9th, 2014 at 1:10 PM ^
September 9th, 2014 at 1:12 PM ^
that was the Longhorns way of saying they want to join the Big Ten.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:13 PM ^
September 9th, 2014 at 2:30 PM ^
Reasons:
1. He has no head coaching experience.
2. He's apparently not great on the recruiting trail.
3. It's not clear how much of MSU's defensive success is due to him as opposed to Dantonio.
September 9th, 2014 at 3:21 PM ^
September 9th, 2014 at 3:03 PM ^
So we want to take a risk on a guy with zero head coaching experience who appears to have a very intense hatred for UM and make him our coach?
September 9th, 2014 at 1:20 PM ^
Well this made my day. The combination of Paul in Toledo, the muppets video, and the front page picture of a kid crowd surfing on a mattress turned my lunch from a boring sandwich into a hilariously tasty one. Thanks for finding some light during a dim time.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:23 PM ^
If you wanted to spell "I don't like Brandon," just pretend you're spelling "Dino Not Drinkable" which you could claim is just a public service announcement.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:22 PM ^
I wonder if the OC or DC from the 49ers would be interested. I was watching the 49ers vs Cowboys and one of the announcers (Chris Collinsworth I believe) was talking about how their coordinators would like to at least look around for head coaching positions, but its difficult to do so when your team is constantly having prolonged seasons due to post-season success. I dont see why not, unless they plan on passing Nuss the torch(hypothetically speaking of course).
September 9th, 2014 at 1:22 PM ^
Career coaching record: 146-94
Monotonically increasing win totals at all 5 coaching stops
From Dennis Franchione's coaching tree
53 years old - has enough experience but is still at least a good decade left before he retires
Extensive mid-western background, beneficial for recruiting
The only drawback that I can see is that he looks like an actual gopher. Yes, I'm talking about Jerry Kill. While he may not be the ideal candidate or the best "name" candidate, that's the kind of resume I'm looking for.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:33 PM ^
Kill's record at Minnesota is 16-12. Brady Hoke's record at Michigan is 16-12.
Both got hired at the same time. Hoke inherited a better team (7-6 vs. 3-9) and had more success in year one (11-2 vs. 3-9) but now that they are putting their own stamp on the program the performance is pretty similar.
He'd be a good hire if not for the health concerns.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:53 PM ^
sad, but true: jerry kill's health is too much of a risk factor.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:23 PM ^
Scrolled through comments and OH BOY GOODY, look people are comparing all outside coaching candidates, because if one attempt failed they all will!!11!!!!1!!
September 9th, 2014 at 1:27 PM ^
This sums up my attitude perfectly. I am so god damn tired of being a Michigan fan. I am physically and emotionally drained. Most of us (especially my Mgo-peeps) spend a great deal of time and energy following the team, recruiting, and the off season. For the past 7 years, the time and energy has culiminated in shitty season after shitty season (i know i know...we tasted some brown sugar, once)
I know the pain is coming, but I simply cannot stop. I am an addict, for better or for worse. I really hope I can get some better "shit" before the chopped up and deluded stuff kills me.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:47 PM ^
Same brother same. And there is nothing Hoke will do in the next 10 games that will change the perception. Beating OSU this year is going to be the same hollow victory as beating Fickell - they are a flawed team and beating them or a bunch of sh** teams in the Big 10 does not mean this program is top 15 or ready for prime time. The ONLY team left on the schedule of national merit is MSU - and there is 0% chance we are going into EL and winning.
Look to South Bend for an example of coaching. If we had lost 6 players to suspensions/injury, had a new OC and a new DC, played 19 FR or RS FR, had a QB who had missed an entire year of football ALL we would have heard is BE PATIENT, we lost due to (insert any of the above excuses plus a litany of others). Brian Kelly is an above average coach - he dealt with all that and didnt just win but blew us out the water. They are not perfect, they are not great but they are well coached and you can see it on the field - even when they lose. There is nowehre I can point to in 1.5 years where I see a well coached team other than the ability to get a FG kicker on the field in under 5 seconds. Outside of massively outmatched teams we still have only hero ball QB to rely on - and the defense has degraded too. We flooded the box to stop the run, ND took advantage of it (coaching) we never adjusted back (coaching). It is a results based business - win 1 damn game in your regime where our team outplays, and outcoaches, and outschemes a superior or similar opponent from top to bottom.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:33 PM ^
I don't need a Michigan Man to be the head coach. I need a damn good head coach as the head coach no matter where he comes from.
September 9th, 2014 at 1:57 PM ^
Maybe we can just all agree to change the meaning of Michigan Man to someone that wins. Which is really what it should've been in the first place.
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