Good natured Schadenfreude of Nebraska
Provided by the kind people at GoIowaAwesome. https://www.goiowaawesome.com/batshit-insanity/2018/10/3209/breaking-news-bankruptcy-court-seizes-nebraskas-national-championship-trophies
October 16th, 2018 at 6:48 PM ^
this is one of the best pieces of sports satire i have ever read. Well done.
October 16th, 2018 at 7:05 PM ^
Wait.... This was satire?
October 16th, 2018 at 6:51 PM ^
Why does that site look exactly like 11warriors? Are they part of a larger group like Maize n Brew is part of SBnation?
October 17th, 2018 at 8:45 AM ^
Interesting. I always thought 11w was independent.
What's the network?
October 16th, 2018 at 7:08 PM ^
They've lost TEN games in a row? Whoa.
To put that into perspective, Michigan's longest losing streak in the last 50 years was five, in 2008.
October 16th, 2018 at 8:03 PM ^
That's amazing. I swear the latter Hoke era felt like more than 5 losses in a row.
Way to go Scott! Dude needs to focus on winning games instead of outhitting everyone.
October 16th, 2018 at 8:41 PM ^
I just spent a productive 15 minutes on Wikipedia looking up old Michigan football seasons. It turns out we also had a five-game losing streak in 1967, a six-game losing streak in 1958-59, and a couple of seven-game streaks in the 1930s. That was as bad as it's gotten for a 139-year-old program.
Nebraska has surpassed our worst-ever streak by three games.
October 16th, 2018 at 8:53 PM ^
And they still have to beat Minnesota this weekend to end it at 10. They are lucky they have Bethune Cookman the next week, otherwise who knows if it would end
October 16th, 2018 at 10:35 PM ^
Bethune Cookman is 4-3, so it may not be a cakewalk for Nebraska.
October 16th, 2018 at 10:47 PM ^
Interesting to see the Vegas line. Early line may already be out
October 17th, 2018 at 7:31 AM ^
Nah, Hoke managed to squeeze in the UTL III win over PSU and the M00N game win in between all the losses in 2014. Jesus, I'm glad that shit is behind us.
October 17th, 2018 at 8:46 AM ^
Amen.
2014, 2008 and 2009 are a set of experiences I hope never to relive.
October 16th, 2018 at 7:20 PM ^
Absolutely incredible: a must-read.
Thanks for sharing.
October 16th, 2018 at 7:22 PM ^
I am calling it.
Nebraska beats MSU.
October 16th, 2018 at 8:04 PM ^
I can't think of a more heartwarming story. Frost gets his first win at Nebraska Sparty's expense!
October 16th, 2018 at 8:55 PM ^
For it to be his first, he would have to lose to Bethune cookman and Illinois. That would be amazing
October 16th, 2018 at 9:29 PM ^
It would. The Sparty fans would burn Mork to death on a pyre of couches.
October 16th, 2018 at 9:17 PM ^
I nearly typed the same thing yesterday. I think this is a very dangerous game for Sparty.
October 16th, 2018 at 9:28 PM ^
Nebraska seems to be the anti-Sparty this year. I think they're way better than their record would indicate. Frost is a good coach and he seemingly runs a good system. Late season Nebraska won't be early season Nebraska.
October 16th, 2018 at 11:05 PM ^
but MSU fans take consolation in the signing of Nebraska's Athletic Director away from the Cornhuskers.
October 16th, 2018 at 7:31 PM ^
LOL, didn’t see that coming...
October 16th, 2018 at 7:34 PM ^
Just a gut feeling.
maybe it is the chili dogs I ate....
October 16th, 2018 at 7:31 PM ^
When reached for comment, Delany confirms the league is planning to pay top dollar for two of the trophies. "We'll send the 1994 trophy to Penn State and 1997 to Michigan," the Big Ten commissioner said. He added, "How's that for restoring the order?" before cackling like a movie villain, throwing a smoke bomb, and disappearing from the press conference.
October 16th, 2018 at 9:39 PM ^
That's Gold! Jerry! Gold!
October 16th, 2018 at 9:50 PM ^
That was the only part of the story that didn’t ring true to me. Like Delany would ever do something nice for us...
October 16th, 2018 at 7:37 PM ^
That quote from Frost in there is real. (The first part anyway.) When asked if he'd do anything differently scheme-wise on defense:
One, I don't call the defense and two, make a play.
Great leadership there, Frosty.
October 16th, 2018 at 8:18 PM ^
One, I don't call the defense
(My mom does!)
October 16th, 2018 at 8:19 PM ^
We're just Minnesota... we're just Minnesota.
Can't imagine what it would feel like to be headed down that path... >.>
October 16th, 2018 at 8:39 PM ^
This warms my cold black heart, fucking hilarious. This perfectly captures the delusional mindset of cornhusker nation.
October 16th, 2018 at 10:47 PM ^
Best part:
Moos did have some good news, though. "I asked Jim Delany if the Big Ten could help," Moos said. "And I think the league is going to buy the trophies."
When reached for comment, Delany confirms the league is planning to pay top dollar for two of the trophies. "We'll send the 1994 trophy to Penn State and 1997 to Michigan," the Big Ten commissioner said. He added, "How's that for restoring the order?" before cackling like a movie villain, throwing a smoke bomb, and disappearing from the press conference.
edit: damnit, just scrolled up and saw that MDog beat me to it. :o
October 16th, 2018 at 11:49 PM ^
Man my favorite thing lately is how sports media constantly defer to Scott Frost.
"It's going to be a long, hard, painful road for Nebraska under Scott Frost, filled with humiliation, losses and roster and staff attrition for the foreseeable future. But you know he's going to turn it around soon."
October 17th, 2018 at 6:46 AM ^
Yeah, people seem to overlook that he's only a third-year coach. He doesn't have a long history of success to fall back on. He has one season.
He will get more time than Riley did, and I expect him to make them a regular bowl team again, but whether he can get past the Pelini level (9-4 every year), or even match that, is anyone's guess.
October 17th, 2018 at 10:53 AM ^
Love this :
Unfortunately for Nebraska, one marshal ran to the right, prompting all eleven defenders to follow him. While the entire defense was doing that arm-crossing throw-the-bones thing in celebration of catching the decoy marshal, the ten other agents took the trophies without being touched.
October 17th, 2018 at 10:53 AM ^
Sorry 2x post