Hate Week: Personal Interactions With Sparty

My neighbor two doors down is a huge Sparty fan. When my oldest son was about 7 years old, he was selling popcorn or candy for some fundraiser. He went to my neighbor's door and happened to be wearing a UM shirt. Not only did my neighbor not buy the popcorn, she gave him shit about his UM shirt, saying "don't wear that shirt around here". That was 15 years ago. I haven't seen that woman without thinking of her comment since.

The nice thing about being from out of state and then going back to NYC after you graduate is you don't work with any MSU or OSU grads/fans and have none in your family.

I am the #5 child out of 6(4 females, 2 males).  Two of my family members are State Alumns, the eldest and my brother.  Everyone else in the family for some stupid ass reason cheers for state, except ME.  My family is the most important thing to me, however, I don't talk to them during this week or on game day.

to hate "retards"?  I dont know but I certainly do not think of MSU as a rivalry.  It is a State of Michigan rivalry but not a University of Michigan rivalry.

We dont compete for the same talant: only Se'Von Pittman picked MSU over us IIRC.  He didnt have the grades for us and now is not on the MSU roster either.  So that cannot be considered competition.

According to USNWR we rate higher in every single education category:  yes we even rank higher in our education department.  The only program that MSU ranks higher is Veterinary Sciences......because we dont have one.

According to "hot chicks on campus.com" Michigan women rate hotter than MSU.  Thats right, I said it, it had to be said.  Our band is ranked higher than theirs by a long shot too.

So where is the rivalry I ask???  It is fun beating down lil brother.  I even had come backs during the past 3-year debacle.  I was still able to defend our honor without resorting to "wait until..........".

Central Ohio is we are more likely to see these Spartans

or perhaps these Spartans

or maybe these spartans

or even these Spartans

and most definintely this spartan 

But very few MSU Spartans!

Sorry guys, no Sparty Hate stories from me.

My sister, a Sparty, called and texted me constantly during the 2004 game.  She kept asking "What's the score" and "How's the game."

Hours later, Braylon-fest complete, I simply smiled and never called/texted her back.  It's what separates us.

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This year at the Notre Dame game, I had the unpleasant fortune of sitting next to the most obnoxious Sparty wearing his Sparty shirt and talking shit then entire game.  Despite me telling him directly to his face "Dude, I do not want to sit here for the next 3 hours watching Michigan play Notre Dame while some fat ass, classless, obnoxious Spartan piece of shit runs his F'n mouth", he simply would not STFU.  All night long I had to listen to every Denard, Hoke, RR, Brandon meme every uttered.  Finally, after the catch, I simply smiled, patted him on the shoulder and said, "Drive home safely."

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I had surgery on my knee my senior year.  The doctor gave me a local anesthetic and wheeled me into the operating room.  He starts messing around with my knee and I said, "Hey, I can feel your cold hands."  He was a little surprised and said "ok, we'll knock you out with the gas.  Breath deep and count back from 10."  I start counting "10, 9, 8, STATE SUCKS, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  When I woke up the doctor was quite amused at my obvious hatred for all things Sparty.

Go Blue!

This wasn't quite personal, since it was non-verbal and took place through car windows, but some may appreciate the story. It's been a long time and some of the details are murky.

During the summer before my senior year (UMich) I was visiting a friend (with some other friends) in one of Metro Detroit's upper-end suburbs. She was just a bit of a princess and had a car (5-series BMW, IIRC) to match.

We drove to a nearby theater to catch a movie. At a stoplight along Telegraph we pulled alongside some POS car with an MSU window sticker and at least one bumper sticker. (My friend's car had a window sticker and a plate holder. Aside: Haven't seen window stickers as much as in past years ...) I'm pretty sure each car could see the colors of the other.

Anyway, we eyeballed each other and the all-around chasm between the two cars was immediately apparent. The Sparty types had this "Damn, we suck!" look on their faces. Pretty funny.

when I saw small Asian girl, I was like CRex?

Here's a story. Its pretty much the reason I go by "mgobleu" around here, actually.

It's 2007, after Henne hits Manningham in the 4th to smack down lil' bro. My wife and I head to Applebees for some late dinner and some drinks. Our waiter was an unwashed bro in a sparty hat. Graciously, we decide not to bring up the game unless he mentions it, which he inevitably does. I don't trust him not to spit in my food, so I just tell him, "Yeah, too bad for sparty. But it was a good game though..." He disagrees. He says that he's a student, and he thought "It sucked."

Besides this small interaction, everything is fine until my salad comes, on which I ordered ranch dressing. He drops it on the table and tells me that he took the liberty of changing my ranch to "go-bleu cheese". Now, I like bleu cheese, but not at applebees. Nor did I order it, dammit, and there is so much of the crap on it that hardly any lettuce is visible. I mean, its practically the biggest freaking pile of dressing I've ever seen. Still, I'm in a good mood, and slow to anger. Thinking this is a joke, and soon he'll bring my real salad, I just set it aside and wait for the rest of my meal, which is delivered by a different waitress. She asks what's up with my salad and if she can take the plate. I smile, tell her no, and "I'm still working on it."

Eventually, after the rest of the meal is delivered and eaten without a hitch, then sparty comes to drop off the check. He smugly asks, "Aww, you didn't like your go-bleu cheese?" I say in return in the most condescening tone I can muster, "Uh, no. But I'll tell you what. The bill comes to what, 32 bucks? I've got 2 20's. I don't really want to give you a tip, but since you're a state student, you're gonna need it a lot more than me." Then I buried the cash in the pool of dressing, flipped the plate over on the table, and patted him on the back as we left, while he stood staring at the mess.