Wagner's "Gumby" arms. . .
I have a bit of a problem comparing Franz Wagner to Gumby, and it's this. . .
Gumby's arms aren't that long. They're kind of. . . average.
When I think "long flexible arms" I think Dhalsim.
Probably too late to get this started as a thing, but this was REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT YOU GUYS
February 25th, 2020 at 7:42 AM ^
That’s his name! I don’t know if it fits for Wagner but I was thinking of that character watching Fury fight this weekend.
February 25th, 2020 at 7:46 AM ^
He’s Gumby, dammit!
(Eddie Murphy SNL reference for all the kids here).
February 25th, 2020 at 7:52 AM ^
let the people decide...
February 25th, 2020 at 8:10 AM ^
How dare you mention the name of Pokey!
February 25th, 2020 at 8:15 AM ^
Are people describing Wagner’s arms as Gumby arms? In wrestling Gumby arms refer to a guy who’s arms are so flexible that when you put in a half Nelson he doesn’t budge but his arms bend and contort like the old Gumby toys.
February 25th, 2020 at 8:39 AM ^
Yeah. I hear it from some guy named Brian who supposedly hangs around here.
I think the wrestling comparison makes a lot more sense.
February 25th, 2020 at 11:59 AM ^
In sports it means a lanky dude
February 25th, 2020 at 8:19 AM ^
Go go gadget arms!
February 25th, 2020 at 8:25 AM ^
Franz is definitely not "Stretch Armstrong". He's way too skinny.
February 25th, 2020 at 10:00 AM ^
Arm Stretchlong.
February 25th, 2020 at 8:31 AM ^
Franz Wagner does a lot of things, but
February 25th, 2020 at 8:39 AM ^
But . . . what?
Conquer ponies?
February 25th, 2020 at 11:58 AM ^
Talk to a girl?
February 25th, 2020 at 9:00 AM ^
It might catch on if it was a name that could actually be pronounced. This looks like a random selection on letters.
February 25th, 2020 at 9:17 AM ^
Dhalsim? You're having problems with Dhalsim?
Man, snowflakes these days. It's seven letters. It's not like anyone's asking you to pronounce Brzęczyszczykiewicz.
February 25th, 2020 at 10:44 AM ^
Reminds me of this joke my dad likes to share.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
February 25th, 2020 at 10:53 AM ^
My point was it’s not something that just rolls off the tongue. My last name is more difficult to pronounce than most.
And I’m too old to be a snowflake. More of an old piece of hardened coal who doesn’t have time for you whipper snappers and your video games. ;)
February 25th, 2020 at 9:13 AM ^
If you stretch him enough he gets skinny, at least that was my experience back in 1975.
February 25th, 2020 at 9:14 AM ^
Regarding the Stretch Armstrong comparison
February 25th, 2020 at 9:16 AM ^
No metaphors to see here, please disperse
February 25th, 2020 at 9:24 AM ^
Love these three posts of yours. I can literally see you thinking out loud. Writing that first post, quickly realizing how it could be misconstrued and then frantically posting multiple responses to try to cover it up.
February 25th, 2020 at 9:36 AM ^
I don't think we need to be concerned though. The NCAA cracks down HARD on stretching at Michigan.
February 25th, 2020 at 9:36 AM ^
During high school I worked in one of those big-box warehouse stores, which carried Stretch Armstrong. One day a co-worker took a Stretch and stuck it out on the back dock in zero degrees. He brought it back in a few hours later frozen solid, and dropped it from the upper shelf. Stretch immediately changed his name to "Shatter" as little flesh-colored pieces bounced across the concrete floor.
My co-worker laughed and laughed. Of course, he was pretty stoned at the time.
Good times, man.
February 25th, 2020 at 10:03 AM ^
I believe I have seen several episodes where Gumby could stretch his arms. I may be mistaken. I could have been distracted by switching back and forth to the Great Space Coaster.
February 25th, 2020 at 12:10 PM ^
In Yeboah!
February 25th, 2020 at 10:20 AM ^
My favorite part about his game is that he can face guard someone and merely stick out his arm to steal a pass. Just like Gumby used to do!
February 25th, 2020 at 11:01 AM ^
I approve of this post. I love Gumby (original Art Clokey claymation and Eddie Murphy version) and I love Street Fighter II.
I lived a block away from Double Focus arcade in Ann Arbor during my junior and senior years and used to play Street Fighter II for hours. There was a guy there we used to refer to as "Dhalsim Legend" due to his play as Dhalsim. Good times.
Fun fact: Art Clokey was born in Detroit.
February 25th, 2020 at 11:58 AM ^
It's because Gumby is stretchy dude lol
February 25th, 2020 at 12:02 PM ^
What is important is that the TRUE freshman is leading the games in scoring.... remember how bad Mo was, and now is in the NBA... lets just hope that Wagner is having so much fun that he stays another year, because at this point, I'd put it at 50/50, for his scouting report will come back late first at worst.
February 25th, 2020 at 12:02 PM ^
This thread is the direct result of our need for some much needed positive football news that just won’t happen.
February 25th, 2020 at 12:15 PM ^
oh, man!!!
You took the whole fun out of this thread....
February 25th, 2020 at 12:34 PM ^
This the possibly the lamest, most buzzkill comment I've read here. Not even like it's a hot take. It's got glasses on with tape in the middle.
February 26th, 2020 at 8:53 AM ^
Who pissed in your Raisin Bran?
