Urban Meyer's fable in which Earl Bruce gets bit in the buckeyes by a turtle is in fact a fable.
Or Urban Legend. Not even been 24 hours, and Ohio State has already put out a release saying Urban Meyer's turtle story was an "exaggeration." I wonder if it was because the story got out he used the same lie about Earle Bruce last year.
Ohio State sends out an advisory saying a turtle never bit Woody Hayes in the privates. Urban was exaggerating in a joking fashion, per OSU.
Here is Urban Meyer telling the turtle story about Earle Bruce last year. Start at the 10:20 mark. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ2Rvb68pwc
February 12th, 2013 at 6:16 PM ^
Gordon Gee was there. He'll tell you all about it.
(Ahhhhhhhh. Gotcha. He was just testing you).
February 12th, 2013 at 6:17 PM ^
Does Urban ever tell the truth?
February 12th, 2013 at 7:58 PM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 6:19 PM ^
I'm not surprised. The story is a bit much. I bet if they confront Meyer with the question, "Who exactly told you that many NFL teams are seeking out Hoke and he might not stay at Michigan?"
The answer would be, "I have credible sources and was told this fact in confidence. My integreity will not allow me to disclose the names."
Or some other complete bull s***.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:20 PM ^
Florida called, they are still waiting for Urban to come back when he is at 100 percent.
February 12th, 2013 at 9:26 PM ^
February 13th, 2013 at 8:40 AM ^
Just tell him you had sex with his wife.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:22 PM ^
I don't know if it's so much a lie, it seems more like his shtick. If he's told it twice, but used different coaches, it just seems like it's part of his routine, and he caters it to the crowd. The OSU faithful probably didn't mind Earle Bruce getting bitten in the privates, but Woody Hayes....now that's a different story. Too much tarnishing of the Woody Hayes moniker.
February 12th, 2013 at 7:03 PM ^
Then he probably shouldn't throw out stuff like, "true story by the way..." when telling the story. The story that is not true.
February 12th, 2013 at 9:31 PM ^
The whole thing was a joke. A bad one. He told it once with Woody Hayes as the guy, and once with Earle Bruce as the guy. He never meant it as "the truth." Everyone just took it that way, which is why Ohio State had to issue that statement. He just buried the punchline, and so did everyone else.
February 13th, 2013 at 12:12 AM ^
Watch the video. His direct quote was "true story, by the way".
Why would you say that? You get so used to lying to make what ever point you are trying to make, that it becomes a part of your speech pattern, like "um" and "uh".
February 13th, 2013 at 8:28 AM ^
Not saying Urban Meyer is a comedian and I do indeed believe he is a liar, but he's just doing what comedians do: setting up the rug pull. Comedians say it all the time at the beginning of a joke. "True story."
I didn't listen to the whole piece on the Youtube video to see if the punchline is the same, but the punchline in the Woody Hayes version is "Just don't poke me in the eye" or something to that effect. To me, that puts it in the realm of a joke. Woody Hayes was saying none of those coaches would let a turtle snap on, but the coach, in the joke, thought he was supposed to snap on to Woody's woody. At least that's how I read it.
February 12th, 2013 at 10:40 PM ^
Barney Stinson catch phrases are always valid.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:24 PM ^
Urban Meyer seems like a trainwreck waiting to happen for Ohio. Either in violations or something else.
February 12th, 2013 at 8:24 PM ^
pray. Not an appealing person, from where I sit.
February 12th, 2013 at 8:30 PM ^
I've said it many times, and I think its the "something else" that'll get him. Although I do think there will be violations at some point. But even ohio has got to have some point at which they'll get pushed to before they realize that they've become sorry this experiment was attempted. I'm putting the over under on his tenure at 5 yrs.
February 13th, 2013 at 12:34 PM ^
I felt the same way when he was hired. Part of it, though, is wishful thinking. If Meyer finds a way to not self-destruct, it could be a very long 10-15 years for us. No matter what school he works for or what you think of his personal life and/or lack of ethics, Urban Meyer has produced on the football field.
He has the full support and resources of the second-best cheating machine in the country on his side, and pretty much blew the "the spread won't work in the Big Ten" meme out of the water last year.
I am hoping he self-destructs ASAP.
February 13th, 2013 at 6:13 PM ^
Who's #1? Mississippi? Auburn? North Carolina? Oregon?
I'm not asking a rhetorical question--it seems pretty clear to you who the top two are and I don't feel like I know enough to say for sure. I have no doubt the boosters in Ohio are hard to control. the school doesn't try, and they perform at an SEC level, but the competition in the top levels of cheating machines is pretty tough.
February 12th, 2013 at 8:39 PM ^
Well, he created an excuse to get out of Florida just before a trainwreck.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:31 PM ^
Meh, what's the big deal? He's just telling a story to make a joke. He sounds stupid, but that's about it.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:50 PM ^
That douche will be gone in less than 4 years bank it.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:35 PM ^
And MSU is literally M$U. The original founding charter for State was recently discovered under a bale of hay in Old McDonalds barn and it turns out it contained a typo, the S was mistyped as an $. So the University's legal name is M$U. And we are literally SCUM, but that's a long story and you'll have to go over to RCMB for the details. /obvious fiction
God I hate this cutsie wordplay. Urban Meyer may be a liar, but his name is not literally Urban Liar. It sounds stupid and petty.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:39 PM ^
Urban "Liar" should be thrown on the same pile as O$U and the other shitty wordplay titles like scUM. So juvenile.
February 12th, 2013 at 11:02 PM ^
Maybe he doesn't tell lies, at least deliberately. Seems more like he doesn't have an extremely firm grasp on reality. How much of retiring/unretiring/quitting the Florida job to spend more time with the family was really just covering that he was a mental train wreck? So when he says stupid shit, don't assume there's a deeper meaning...
February 12th, 2013 at 6:45 PM ^
The OP omitted the word "an".
February 12th, 2013 at 6:41 PM ^
Once in Ohio a biting turtle bit a man named Woodie Hayes in the penis. Woodie Hayes was allegedly holding the turtle because he loved animals such as turtles and ducks.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:53 PM ^
Woody Hayes was involved in a conspiracy with a Hyper-Intelligent Duck That Secretly Runs Illinois?
February 12th, 2013 at 6:57 PM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 8:32 PM ^
I heard the duck was delicious.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:41 PM ^
I'm sure Gee started to consider the consequences of motivating your players to all feed their wangs to snapping turtles and encouraged a retraction.
February 12th, 2013 at 8:34 PM ^
so forgive me, I just have to...
retraction = pulled out?
February 12th, 2013 at 6:47 PM ^
No more looking down on Ohio and MSU for being petty if we're going to have threads like this one.
February 12th, 2013 at 9:47 PM ^
Those are Wings on the helmets, not a halo.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:49 PM ^
Urban Meyer's an asshole, to be sure. But... this was a joke, with a puchline and everything. The delievery was actually pretty good. I laughed. There's a lot of reasons to call this guy a lot of things, but calling him a liar over this is... some sort of negative adjective that I can't be bothered to think of, how bout lame.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:50 PM ^
I can probably give him a pass on this one. It is just an old joke, although that is not obvious when the retelling omits the punchline (as heard in the video). With the punchline included, it becomes obvious that this is just a joke and not a true story. Only a moron would think it was supposed to be a true story ... oh, wait, what was the audience?
February 12th, 2013 at 6:53 PM ^
If any other coach said the same things, we wouldn't care. Let's try not to be biased just because it's Ohio State.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:58 PM ^
I edited the title so now it says what the article says. Sometimes the truth is more interesting than using "literally" to mean "figuratively."
February 12th, 2013 at 8:12 PM ^
Telling, very telling.
February 12th, 2013 at 6:59 PM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 7:03 PM ^
Watch the video - it was a joke, and a pretty obvious one at that. I think Urban Meyer is the scum of the Earth, but this was clearly a joke.
February 12th, 2013 at 7:07 PM ^
I can't believe there was a 3 page thread on this earlier and 90% of the people thought it was a true story.
It was obviously a joke when he delivered the punch line.
February 12th, 2013 at 7:23 PM ^
This reminds me of the McDonalds story.
On the way home from the Ohio State game this year we stopped to get gas in some shit Ohio off-ramp town, and Ace and I ran next door to McDonalds. My food came up fairly fast but Ace's was taking awhile and we still had to wait for Heiko anyway, so I put my tray of food at a table to reserve it and went to go fill up ketchups and my drink and stayed up there to continue bitching about Borges.
Meanwhile this bum walked in with a paper bag in his hand. I saw him come in but at first I didn't notice (or my eyes wouldn't believe it) but he went and sat down right in my seat and started eating my food. At first I was like "did you guys just see that?" but then I finally decided to walk over there and be like "Dude, that's my food." And the bum was like "Got a receipt?"
Now I'm not one to pick fights with Ohio bums so I went back to the counter and the manager was just like "yeah, he comes in sometimes; let me replace your order," and I'm like "fine, whatever," but I'm still pissed about this whole thing and suspicious that they're f-ing with me because we're Michigan fans, so I go sit down at the booth directly across from him.
So we're hanging there for awhile so Heiko can order and eat, and eventually the bum finishes my food and he gets up and walks out the door. So then we finally fill Heiko in on what the f just happened and he's the one who noticed the bum had left his brown paper bag on the booth seat across from us. So I jump over there and grab it, and stick it next to me on the seat. A minute later the bum comes back in, and he's looking around the restaurant and finally he turns to us and asks "you guys see a bag anywhere?" So I'm like "got a receipt?" And he just looked at me, and I stared back, and he walked back out the door.
February 12th, 2013 at 8:15 PM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 8:39 PM ^
The same load of horse shit that's in every story outta Ohio.
har har har har.
(Bet this one's older than the turtle tale).
February 12th, 2013 at 7:25 PM ^
February 12th, 2013 at 7:27 PM ^
I think this speaks more to Woody Hayes' character than to any kind of gullibility. Anyone who's ever read about Hayes or watched him on TV when he was coaching read this story today and said, "Yup, that sounds like something he'd do."
February 12th, 2013 at 7:36 PM ^
1. When the turtle approaches, first try to be understanding. When turtles approach strange objects, they normally examine them with their nose.
2. If the turtle does bite your privates, remain calm. Possibly the bite is just a warning and the turtle will quickly release it..
3. Even if the turtle does not release its bite, be courteous. Cursing will only aggravate the turtle and cause it to hold longer.
4. Above all, do not kill the turtle. Its jaws will then lock permanently.
Read more: When a Turtle Bites How Do You Make Them Release? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_8551350_turtle-bites-do-make-release.html#ixzz2KjLoexIG
February 12th, 2013 at 7:42 PM ^
I heard Steve Yzerman tell the same story about Scotty Bowman (Bowman was present) back in 1993 during a fundraiser at the Grosse Pointe Yacht Club.
Yeah it was a fun night.
February 12th, 2013 at 7:55 PM ^
That's the first we've heard from you in a while...