The Sam McGuffie Hate Thread

Submitted by Anonymous Coward (not verified) on

OK,

We've established that Sam McGuffie:

a) lacks top-end speed (almost got caught by a lineman!)

b) Doesn't love Michigan (nearly committed to Cal AND Texas A&M!)

c) Shies away from contact

Lets address these grevious sins, and pin new ones on!

MGoBoard

ShockFX

October 7th, 2008 at 11:57 AM ^

D) Can't do anything without blockers.

E) Gets arm tackled and falls at the slightest touch.

F) Does not run through, around, or past defenders like Brandon Minor.

Joined: 07/16/2008

MGoPoints: 4073

Huss

October 7th, 2008 at 12:00 PM ^

G) Was born without pigmentation in his skin.

H) Can't create plays

I) Doesn't fumble enough, which doesn't allow us to think how good he might be if he just hung onto the ball - like Minor or Shaw.

Joined: 07/08/2008

MGoPoints: 1925

anthem_1

October 7th, 2008 at 12:26 PM ^

R) does not hurdle someone every third play as we were promised in youtube videos

S) does not juke and fake out 4 unblocked defenders and run for TD's every time he gets the ball - we would win a lot more if he would just do this

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 111

NYWolverine

October 7th, 2008 at 12:31 PM ^

He's not a super-patriot, he can't brew Boston lagers, he's clearly not a bad mother fucker...I'd take one-eyed crooning at this point, but so far he's got dual threat vision.  Maybe he'll replace David Lee in Van Halen...at the least we know he can Jump.

Joined: 08/16/2008

MGoPoints: 1018

anthem_1

October 7th, 2008 at 12:32 PM ^

V) makes people so aggravated that they do not follow the established alphabetical listing style of gripes about him (looking at you Placentasaurus)

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 111

anthem_1

October 7th, 2008 at 12:42 PM ^

i forgave chitown since he started the thread.  you on the other hand, good sir, are a message board anarchist, and have started a troubling trend that has already thrown this very important thread into disarray.  i hope you're happy

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 111

ShockFX

October 7th, 2008 at 12:49 PM ^

If this is directed at me, I had the first reply, and I joke with Chrisgocomment about "quality ball touches" all the time.  Also, anarchist is the wrong word because what i'm pushing is thought, structure, the Scientific Method, etc.

Joined: 07/16/2008

MGoPoints: 4073

anthem_1

October 7th, 2008 at 12:57 PM ^

@ shockfx

no, my comment was directed @ Placentasaurus.  he obviously lacks the theology and geometry in his life that is necessary to navigate these boards. 

but enough of the fingerpointing amongst ourselves, isn't this supposed to be about how samuel h(ussein) mcguffie is singlehandedly destroying our beloved michigan football? 

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 111

formerlyanonymous

October 7th, 2008 at 1:01 PM ^

aa) is from houston but does not have "platinum frontz."  we were promised screwed and chopped to the extreme.

bb) he wears a size 14.5 shoe, and half sizes are just too hard to find after size 12

cc) he smells of pirate hooker

dd) he's a Mc, which means he's irish, which means he is a domer.

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 38964

mooseman

October 7th, 2008 at 1:04 PM ^

BB) He took out a restraining order

 

CC) He is not large enough to make an adequate skin/flesh suit for me when I stand in front of the mirror dancing to 'The Victors'

Joined: 07/10/2008

MGoPoints: 35526

ShockFX

October 7th, 2008 at 1:27 PM ^

While that explains the lack of korean running backs, I fail to see how that applies to McGuffie.

 

We really need spoiler tags so I could put a "Potentially Offensive if you don't have a sense of humor" tag on this.

Joined: 07/16/2008

MGoPoints: 4073

ThWard

October 7th, 2008 at 3:38 PM ^

EE) Blew up Antonio Bass' knee.

FF) Indirectly caused 1000 message boarders to create threads entitled, "What if Bass was healthy? Can you imagine how he'd be in Rod's offense!!11111!!!1!!1!!!"

Joined: 07/10/2008

MGoPoints: 5169

Zone Read Left

October 7th, 2008 at 5:11 PM ^

II) Is a wuss who slacked off during offseason conditioning and did not gain 50 lbs of muscle like everyone else on the team.

JJ) Not a prototypical Michigan back (may actually have some succuess in the NFL)

KK)Picked UM over USC while all the good players who we actually want pick USC over UM

LL) Causes me to go deaf when all the fans around me at games are yelling for RichRod to put Minor in.

Joined: 08/13/2008

MGoPoints: 474

Brian

October 7th, 2008 at 5:11 PM ^

II) refuses to fumble as dictated by Rodriguez on high. In doing so reminds Michigan fans of Mike Hart and his lack of eligibility, which only causes pain.

Joined: 05/26/2008

MGoPoints: 118859