Rutgers Haikus
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:20 AM ^
Welcome back Harbaugh
Cheeseburger in Paradise
A Buffett tribute
This is a dumb game
I like real Big Ten games
Like UCLA
Rutger or Rutgers?
I want to run up the score
Take away their "S"
Rutgers is not trash
Even if New Jersey is
But come on, we win
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:29 AM ^
PIscataway kniggits
Unhorse the Scarlet
Maize and Blue put on a show
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:32 AM ^
Homecoming noon game
We welcome our alumni
Please go beat Rutgers
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:34 AM ^
Order of Bulls Blood
Harbaugh won't be heading home
Coaching and Poaching
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:35 AM ^
Big Ten games are here?
Yet another cupcake game
Win, and don't get hurt.
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:36 AM ^
Tony Soprano
Christopher Moltisanti
Bad spray tan people
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:37 AM ^
Screw the Jersey Boys
Go back to Asbury Park
Snookie will blow you
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:39 AM ^
Finally we play
An actual team, for once
Oh wait. It's Rutgers.
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:45 AM ^
There once was a boy from Piscataway
Who looked at his town and said “I gotta get away”
But try as he might
Its hold was too tight
And now he hopes Schiano never goes away.
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:53 AM ^
Once a man named Don
Messed up his po-em entry
Haiku not Lim'rick!
September 22nd, 2023 at 2:22 PM ^
This wasn't a case of "messing up"—I think haikus suck.
September 22nd, 2023 at 8:48 PM ^
Don thinks haikus suck
Wrote a lim-er-ick instead
Still good, works for me!
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:56 AM ^
Welcome back Harbaugh
Please have a talk with JJ
Turnovers hurt us
September 22nd, 2023 at 3:28 PM ^
Izzat you, Joel?
September 22nd, 2023 at 8:50 PM ^
Welcome back Harbaugh
Please stay balanced on offense
Fixed it for ya, Maize!
September 22nd, 2023 at 9:57 AM ^
Eat Chicken Fatcat
suffer from heartburn tonight
beat Rutger soundly
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:04 AM ^
More total points than
opponent has rushing yards
a rushing rutger
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:17 AM ^
Harbaugh back stalking
the vaunted Big House sidelines
RIP Rutger
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:21 AM ^
Rutgers offense sucks
Just try to score lots of points
Clock will kill itself
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:42 AM ^
Commercials all day
Too many for me to count
"What's In Your Wallet?"
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:46 AM ^
Gonna miss the game
I have to work tomorrow
It's a tragedy
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:47 AM ^
A man named Heiko from Rutgers, pure shite,
Faced Michigan in a fitba fight.
But no skills did he show,
Got his arse handed, ye know,
Now he's cryin' in pure disgrace every night!
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:49 AM ^
Super lopsided
Terrapins trounce msu
Wait, that’s the wrong game
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:54 AM ^
Wolverines fierce clash
Rutgers falls, victory's roar
Michigan stands tall.
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:55 AM ^
Here in the Big Ten
We know our priorities.
Cable subscribers.
September 22nd, 2023 at 10:57 AM ^
Our offense goes slow
The new clock rules fucking suck.
I'll take the under.
September 22nd, 2023 at 11:08 AM ^
Ball drops from the sky,
into Roman Wilson's hands.
Band plays. Orji time.
September 22nd, 2023 at 11:09 AM ^
JJ throws the ball
Many touchdowns through the air
56 to 3
September 22nd, 2023 at 11:09 AM ^
Feast on Scarlet Knights
JJ back to first-round form
Situation sad
September 22nd, 2023 at 11:12 AM ^
Did Rutgers bring more
New York cable subscriptions
Than S'cuse would have?
September 22nd, 2023 at 11:37 AM ^
Cable Subscribers
Gonna get their a$$ beat down
Forty-two - Thirteen
September 22nd, 2023 at 1:12 PM ^
What will be the score?
Fifty-seven to, uh, five?
Haiku has weird rules.
September 22nd, 2023 at 1:22 PM ^
Courtesy of ChatGPT:
Wolverines triumphant,
Scarlet knights fall in the fight,
Michigan's proud night.
I'm not sure if you could get more lame.
September 22nd, 2023 at 3:13 PM ^
So ChatGPT
Cannot count. The first line has
Six syllables, yo
September 22nd, 2023 at 1:23 PM ^
First conference game
A very odd game, we win
Greg will be displeased.
September 22nd, 2023 at 1:40 PM ^
Why are you Big Ten?
Fence the garden was a fail
Don't piss cat away
September 22nd, 2023 at 1:42 PM ^
Rutgers Scarlet Knights
Birthplace of College Football
But yet they still suck
September 22nd, 2023 at 1:51 PM ^
BTN Classic
Hoke clap loud yell but lose face
Bring shame family
September 22nd, 2023 at 2:07 PM ^
What is a Rutger?
How do you fence the garden?
Let us score sixty
September 22nd, 2023 at 3:50 PM ^
“Gunnison Goodblood”
That’s a Rutger player’s name
I’m not shitting you
September 22nd, 2023 at 4:00 PM ^
Making a movie
About Head Coach Mel Tucker
It’s called “Glory Load”
September 22nd, 2023 at 4:08 PM ^
To be fair, I stole the movie title idea from the RCMB message board.
There is an absolutely fantastic movie title thread, including:
”A Fistful of Dollars”
”Million Dollar Baby Batter”
”Mad Mel: Beyond the Thunderbone”
”Romancing the Bone” and
”Field of Creams”
I was surprised that “Glory Load” was not amongst them, so I’ll take credit for that one, and I like the sports angle. But the others are better, IMHO. Definitely the funniest thing I’ve ever read on that site and it gives me hope for humanity.
September 22nd, 2023 at 4:32 PM ^
To Tucker Tuggin'
Maybe instead of tugging
You should just tuck it
September 22nd, 2023 at 4:19 PM ^
Why write a haiku
About Cable Subscribers?
Oh. Right. Tradition.
September 22nd, 2023 at 4:27 PM ^
Battle In the trench
Favors not the Red and Black
Say "Cyan-ara"
September 22nd, 2023 at 8:48 PM ^
A foe, valorous.
Yet, inescapable fate
sings of sad cannons.
September 23rd, 2023 at 8:51 AM ^
Three yards and a cloud
Of dust? No, that's the foul smell
Of Axe body spray.