OT: worst thing you saw last night???

A singing fat chick was the craziest St. Pat's Day shenanigan you saw? I know man, I know....I miss college too.

Two options: 1) The inside of my property book because I have a midterm next thursday and a brief to write this weekend. 2) A couple of black and tans that were: {Black {Black [Tan [Tan [Tan [Tan Seriously, how hard it is to get an equal poor people? I want half Guinness and half Harp, not some weak 40/60 split. Upon reading this, I miss college. I wish I had more absurd stories to tell about last night. Instead I went home and studied for four hours after a quick stop at the bar.

the backs of my eyelids.

EOP

As I was getting into a yellow cab in midtown, I saw a fight escalate when a totally sauced Irishman whipped a steaming NYC pushcart kebob at some NYC suit. The suit didn't like it one bit. The stodgy little guy was visibly peeved, shocked, steam coming out his ears. He charges the Irishman, who acted as if he was shocked himself that the stout little suit manned up. The suit grabs this guy by the throat, and throws him to the ground. Irishman gets up, and a couple out-of-town firefighters in their dress-uniforms attempt to stop the fight. Sort of. The suit gets loose, and again goes for the Irishman's neck, and in an acrobatic move, somersaults the guy onto a parked car, curbside. The woman in the parked car is now visibly flummoxed. This is NYC, she was not about to take an assault on her vehicle without words. Well, Shaniqua Desiree Brown gets out of her car, cursing like only a pissed off NYC woman can. I was intimidated, and I was in the safe-haven of a cab. Both the suit and the Irishman get up, looking like they just got scolded by their mama. The woman was really letting these guys have it. But that's when my cab pulled away. It looked like the lady was getting primed to take a swing; she had her arm jacked back holding her purse like a goddamn nunchuck. St. Pat's in midtown Manhattan. Really brings out the best in people.

... thinking that they look like totally super fucking awesome because they've got on a wicked tight green ed hardy t-shirt that says "Kiss Me, I'm Awesome" JAEGABOMBS!

Worst thing I saw...this morning?

Went to Gus O'Connor's around 10pm. After a few beers, I needed to use the bathroom. Big Mistake!! The first thing I noticed when I stepped in the restroom was the smell - it was that lovely fragrance "Eau de Puke". All three sinks had multiple regurgitations in them. I then did a quick turn to the urinals which, of course, had puke and turds in them. Needless to say, I waited until we went to another bar before relieving myself.

One of my housemates is part of the Michigan Stadium Teletubbies gang. He wore the green suit yesterday (naturally the hottest and brightest day of the young year), started drinking at the Brown Jug at 5 am or whenever it opened, called it quits around 8 pm, and passed out on his bed. He woke up long enough to puke on himself and his mattress and just crashed right back into it, completely apathetic. So I saw a giant stinky Teletubby, blackout drunk and covered in vomit.

I was told there were two people having sex in the women's bathroom at Jolly Pumpkin. When I went up there to go to the bathroom they were making out. Both the guy and the girl were about a head taller than me and I am not quite 6 foot.

Midnight stop at Pizza House: Drunk guy stumbles into the women's bathroom, is obviously not deterred by the lack of urinals and goes about his business, much to the shock of a woman far too well dressed to be at Pizza House at 12 30 on st. pattys night. Worst thing I saw: Not one, but two, of my more senior co-workers walking by the porch I was visibly sloshed on. woohoo!

I didn't see anything terribly bad last night. However, I did have a kid (probably 19-20) come into where I was working at 10:30am who was already QUITE sauced and looked like he was ready to puke. Everyone in the store was giving him a wide berth because they all saw it coming too. Fortunately he didn't and we all got to laugh at him as he tripped/stumbled walking out the door. I know seeing a drunk on St. Patrick's day isn't impressive, but I thought that the degree to which this kid was drunk at that hour was notable. EDIT: I take all that back. This video was the worst thing I saw. These guys suck.

I went to the brewpub up the street around 9pm and it was by far the shortest wait I've ever had there -- instead of well over an hour for a table for 2, they quoted us 35-45 minutes and it only took about 15 to 20. Apparently people wanted to go to one of the many faux-Irish bars in Chicago (there are a few real ones, but not very many) instead of a brewpub. Worked for me. Didn't see any weirdness at all, unless you count seeing large amounts of skinny-jeaned men with "ironic" facial hair.

I was at a 6th grade orchestra concert last night. Would have traded places with any of you.

When I called my buddy yesterday I said "Erin Go Bragh" to which he replied "M Go Blog"? So all night we'd say "M Go Blog" to everyone at the bar.

I was chillin' out in front of the Blue Lep, drinkin' some beers and doin' some shots. After our last shot, one of my fellow boozers at the table nonchalantly leans over toward the sidewalk and does a little voluntary vomiting. Just a little off the top. And so my other friend starts vomiting too... you know, just to make the situation less awkward. What a guy. Then we got to enjoy people walking by, either stepping in or around the rather sizable puddle of ralph on the sidewalk. All who saw it were visibly disgusted. Some made funny comments. Awesome. But probably the worst thing I saw was the face of the girl I ended the night with. Ha!

Talk about jumping the shark. I might be done with that show.

but I'd say my text messages that I re-read in the morning

I don't remember

Being just sick enough that I couldn't go out. Damnit. I guess last Saturday, this Friday, and this Saturday will have to make up for it.