OT: "Clowney Facts" Twitter Account

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December 22nd, 2012 at 5:25 PM
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Dilla Dude
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Joined: 08/17/2010
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OT: "Clowney Facts" Twitter Account

I was wandering aimlessly through the Twitterverse, when I stumbled on @ClowneyFacts, a well-done parody account dedicated to Jadeveon Clowney.

I figured i'd post this here because we take on his Gamecocks New Year's day, and it'd be fun admiring all of his marvelous "feats." He even has Chuck Norris shaking in his boots. 

Link: https://twitter.com/ClowneyFacts

Here are a few gems:

 

 

 In a taste test between Coke and Pepsi, Jadeveon Clowney chose quarterback tears every time.

 Jack Links Beef Jerky was going to run the "Messing with Jadeveon" ad campaign, but shooting was cut short due to overly realistic violence.
 
 Jadeveon Clowney loves stand up comedy. His favorite joke... ACC football.
 
 "You are what you eat" has been scientifically proven false. Does Jadeveon Clowney look like a quarterback to you?
 
 Jadeveon Clowney's 40 yard dash time makes the speed of sound wish it had practiced a little harder.

 

 

"Some people think that football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more than that."

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December 22nd, 2012 at 5:29 PM | (No subject) (Score:5 Normal)
sedieso
Joined: 09/12/2008
MGoPoints: 528

December 22nd, 2012 at 5:59 PM | Probably not. (Score:1 Overrated)
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 5168

There aren't any good linemen in the SEC.

Hell, keeping Jones away from Clowney was probably the only reason Saban moved Jones to center.

May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift

December 22nd, 2012 at 5:32 PM | @ Lewan Facts When Alexander (Score:3 Normal)
ThadMattasagoblin
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Joined: 08/24/2011
MGoPoints: 2773

@ Lewan Facts When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Taylor Lewan.

903 wins most in college football

December 22nd, 2012 at 5:55 PM | "Lewan Facts" (Score:-1 Trolling)
December 22nd, 2012 at 7:20 PM | Eh (Score:-1 Trolling)
December 22nd, 2012 at 8:49 PM | In a fight between Batman and Superman, (Score:2 Normal)
Half Blood Dutc...
Half Blood Dutch Prince's picture
Joined: 12/03/2011
MGoPoints: 357

the winner is Zoltan Mesko.

December 22nd, 2012 at 6:28 PM | Horribly dumb. (Score:4 Normal)
Serth
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Joined: 01/20/2010
MGoPoints: 787

Horribly dumb.

December 22nd, 2012 at 7:06 PM | This (Score:5 Normal)
FreeTheFabFivePlz
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Joined: 03/08/2011
MGoPoints: 1084

Is stupid.

So hot.  Milk was a bad choice.

December 22nd, 2012 at 7:15 PM | This is a... (Score:4 Normal)
MGoShoe
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Joined: 04/23/2009
MGoPoints: 19326

...clown topic, bro.

LSA '89 - MBB Natl Champions, Big 10/Rose Bowl Champions | @MGoShoe

December 22nd, 2012 at 7:21 PM | Wow this have never been done (Score:3 Normal)
JimBobTressel
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Joined: 11/28/2010
MGoPoints: 132

Wow this have never been done before

ATTN NBA Dads and Siblings: Have brothers / sons on the hoops come-up? 

Michigan = NBA Family U

December 22nd, 2012 at 7:38 PM | @ClowneyFacts (Score:5 Normal)
ForeverVoyaging
Joined: 09/24/2011
MGoPoints: 263

After reading Jadeveon Clowney's own Twitter account:

@ClowneyFacts Jadeveon Clowney is functionally illiterate.

December 22nd, 2012 at 7:51 PM | A little (Score:4 Normal)
San Diego Mick
Joined: 05/11/2011
MGoPoints: 1574

over-enamored with Clowney SCar Fans? Get over yourselves, don't get too cocky.

December 22nd, 2012 at 8:06 PM | Clowney is probably the best (Score:2 Normal)
Michigan4Life
Joined: 07/29/2010
MGoPoints: 5709

Defensive player in the country and is likely a #1 overall pick for 2014 draft.

December 22nd, 2012 at 8:24 PM | Cocky is just a pause on the (Score:2 Normal)
quasioptimistic
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Joined: 09/13/2011
MGoPoints: 125

Cocky is just a pause on the path to full Gamecockery.

Polonium 210 is the new dilithium.

December 22nd, 2012 at 8:34 PM | This is the definition of, (Score:1 Normal)
TheLastHoke
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Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 3166

This is the definition of, "I'm 14 and this is funny."

HOKEAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

Formerly, TheLastProphet

December 22nd, 2012 at 10:14 PM | Your are quite liberal with (Score:0 Redundant)
December 22nd, 2012 at 10:15 PM | Wow, surprised by all the (Score:2 Normal)
BursleysFinest
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Joined: 08/24/2011
MGoPoints: 392

Wow, surprised by all the hate, I must be 14, because this is kind of funny to me...The best UM candidate to pull off something like this has to be Jake  Ryan, or maybe a Stauskas  shooter meme "The mounties made Nik Stauskas leave Canada because his hot streak was melting The Rockies"   

"Slappin' the Bass" - Matt Vogrich (maybe)

December 23rd, 2012 at 12:09 AM | Just shaking my head (Score:5 Normal)
the Glove
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Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 1079

It's threads like these that remind me for the last 4 and a half years that about half of the people on this board have little to no sense of humor. I understand that it's not hilarious, but if you don't care for it, you don't have to post. Just move on. The majority of the comments below are the reason that blue in South Bend gave up being a mod. Just the absolute negativity. I'll step down from my soapbox knowing nothing will change.

December 23rd, 2012 at 1:50 AM | Nope.  Whenever mediocre (Score:0 Flamebait)
December 23rd, 2012 at 10:40 AM | BiSB gave up being a mod (Score:1 Flamebait)
TheLastHoke
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Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 3166

BiSB gave up being a mod because he didn't have time for it any more. The walls of negativity spurned on by the OSU loss only expedited his resignation. While I can't speak for him, I would imagine having to constantly purge threads like this was probably one of his least favortie pastimes as moderator.

HOKEAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

Formerly, TheLastProphet

December 23rd, 2012 at 12:11 AM | I thought this was pretty funny (Score:3 Normal)
Blue in Dallas
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Joined: 10/20/2011
MGoPoints: 127

And I'm 32

"He has no idea that Charles Woodson can jump fifteen feet in the air, come down acrobatically, and get his foot inside this football field.  Folks, you can watch football a long, long time before you see another play like that."

December 23rd, 2012 at 12:13 AM | Yeah, I'll decide to stand on (Score:2 Normal)
WolvinLA2
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Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 18039

Yeah, I'll decide to stand on the "not funny at all" side of the line.

December 23rd, 2012 at 12:23 AM | Then why post? Why didn't you (Score:1 Insightful)
the Glove
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Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 1079

Then why post? Why didn't you just move on? There obviously is enough negativity on this board.

December 23rd, 2012 at 12:31 AM | So I can only post about (Score:2 Normal)
WolvinLA2
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Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 18039

So I can only post about things I like? Dissent isn't allowed? If you only want sunshine and rainbows turn on the Disney Channel.

December 23rd, 2012 at 12:44 AM | Yes, but the point of this (Score:-1 Trolling)
December 23rd, 2012 at 1:03 AM | Um, I'm not gonna comment on (Score:5 Normal)
mgobleu
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Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2582

Um, I'm not gonna comment on what it should or shouldn't be, but seriously, have you read this blog???

December 23rd, 2012 at 4:16 AM | Yeah for over 5 and a half (Score:-1 Trolling)
December 23rd, 2012 at 10:24 AM | The "morality" of the board (Score:2)
TheLastHoke
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Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 3166

The "morality" of the board has been slipping?

HOKEAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

Formerly, TheLastProphet

December 23rd, 2012 at 8:33 AM | the point of this blog is not to piss and moan. (Score:5 Normal)
Don
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Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 19380

Not only has a good portion of this blog's content been devoted precisely to pissing and moaning since Brian started it (much of it by Brian himself), pissing and moaning is about 90% of the internet that isn't porn or cat photos.


December 23rd, 2012 at 10:34 AM | The point of this blog is to (Score:2)
TheLastHoke
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Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 3166

The point of this blog is to discuss Michigan related sports, not horrible Twitter parody accounts that amount to the lowest form of humor imaginable.

HOKEAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

Formerly, TheLastProphet

December 23rd, 2012 at 10:20 AM | Because if we don't piss and (Score:3 Normal)
TheLastHoke
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Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 3166

Because if we don't piss and moan every time something stupid and worthless like this gets posted, it's taken as a tacit endorsement by a lot of blog memebers. Then we get more stupid and worthless shit being posted on the board, and before you know it, BOOM, MGoBlog is MLive. Maybe you want that, but Brian certainly doesn't want that, and most of the the members of the board don't want that either.

Self policing has always been an important mechanism in keeping the wolves somewhat at bay. It doesn't always work, hell if you're anywhere near the board after a loss you can see firsthand how futile it is a lot of the time, but we can at the very least keep shit like this to a minimum via our bitching.

HOKEAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

Formerly, TheLastProphet

December 23rd, 2012 at 2:10 AM | Just want to keep the balance right (Score:1 Normal)
STW P. Brabbs
Joined: 08/27/2008
MGoPoints: 2418

And add this to the pile: this isn't funny at all. Seriously derivative, poorly executed space filler.

December 23rd, 2012 at 2:48 AM | Clowney (Score:1)
BILG
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Joined: 08/31/2008
MGoPoints: 485

Clowney is the best player in the country...by far.  I watch a lot of college football like many of you.  Rarely do you see an athlete so superior to those lining up on the other side of the ball, especially when in a legit conference.  I remember him in the Florida game where SC got destroyed...but he was absolutely unblockable.  Looked like a grown man playing kids.

Every once in a while those really  special guys come along where you know you are watching something amazing with how they dominate at a certain level.  Will it translate to the next level?  Of course not, but he should still be a good pro.  But at the college level he is just unblockable.  They will need to double team him...Lewan can't block this guy one on one.

BILG

December 23rd, 2012 at 6:29 AM | I don't mean this in a manner (Score:1)
B-Nut-GoBlue
Joined: 09/30/2011
MGoPoints: 1714

I don't mean this in a manner to say you're wrong, because I do think JaDaveon is a good football player, but from watching the LSU/South Carolina game film I found only a few plays where he was relevant.  Granted, an offense can "go away from" a player and limit his role in affecting plays but again, there was little -from what I saw, and I don't think he was double teamed all that much- that showed him to be completely dominant.  I have seen plenty SEC games where he played and he makes great plays; again, a pretty damn good footbal player.

December 23rd, 2012 at 4:47 PM | "They will need to double (Score:2)
DonAZ
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Joined: 12/05/2011
MGoPoints: 699

"They will need to double team him...Lewan can't block this guy one on one."

The Clowney / Lewan matchup is going to be interesting to watch.  Let's hope the camera work allows some nice isolation sequences on those two.  The film of that matchup might prove to be a nice clinic on both DE and LT play.

Midwestern born and raised ... now living in the heat of the Arizona desert

December 23rd, 2012 at 1:13 PM | Clowney is gonna Clown... (Score:2 Normal)
GWUWolverineFan
Joined: 09/22/2009
MGoPoints: 640

Clowney is gonna Clown...

December 23rd, 2012 at 1:16 PM | Didnt go to the account, but (Score:3 Normal)
blueblueblue
Joined: 12/29/2008
MGoPoints: 2257

Didnt go to the account, but the tweest the OP listed remind me a lot of the analogy quips made about Denard on this site over the last few years. And many, many of those Denard quips were not as funny as those the OP listed (not that they are extremely funny either). The hypocracy here is so extreme as to be embarrassing as a UM fan. 

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