More weird things out of Ohio
August 24th, 2016 at 2:37 AM ^
Idk about weird, seems pretty Ohioian to me
August 24th, 2016 at 7:48 AM ^
If "License Bureau" means "DMV/Secretary of State", then...I can't blame this guy.
Acting like a gorilla and jerking off on the sidewalk actually seems like a decent way to recover your sanity and faith in humanity after dealing with the DMV. I've had wayyy worse urges after a morning in line there.
August 24th, 2016 at 8:13 AM ^
The Secretary of State office gives Walmart a pretty good run for their money when it comes to the epic people-watching.
August 24th, 2016 at 9:40 AM ^
I don't know I have had far more fun people watching at the SOS than Walmart. Walmart you have to search for the fun at the SOS they concentrate it for you in one room.
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August 24th, 2016 at 10:39 AM ^
Hold up. You shouldn't have to trudge too far into Walmart to see a freak show.
August 24th, 2016 at 1:51 PM ^
We don't bother going through the trouble of putting on a suit to masturbate in public down here bub. He was probably born in Pennsylvania.
August 24th, 2016 at 7:39 AM ^
They call it Friday in Warren, Ohio.
August 24th, 2016 at 7:40 AM ^
I may be gone the rest of the day - I'm waiting for the General Motors IT police to come visit me for Googling "masturbating gorilla". I expect to be escorted from the building soon.
August 24th, 2016 at 7:52 AM ^
that the GM firewall even let you do a search on that... when i was there (GM tech center) back in the mid 2000's i couldn't even check my fantasy team rosters on my lunch...
August 24th, 2016 at 10:13 AM ^
Because your team name was "Masturbating Gorillas"?
August 24th, 2016 at 10:32 AM ^
If the Indians ever want to change their name & be more politically correct, "Cleveland Masturbating Gorillas" has a ring to it.
August 24th, 2016 at 3:03 AM ^
Dicks out for Harambe, boys!
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August 24th, 2016 at 6:12 AM ^
I'm surprised it took that long for that comment to show up.
August 24th, 2016 at 10:47 AM ^
Glass houses and everything....
Police unmask 'mystery pooper' who regularly defecated on Ypsilanti park slides
http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/index.ssf/2014/05/police_nab_mystery_pooper_who.html
August 24th, 2016 at 10:52 AM ^
That guy in Ohio was an OSU fan. We can blame the Ypsi guy on Eastern
August 24th, 2016 at 6:11 PM ^
There should be a Scooby-Doo meme with this headline
August 24th, 2016 at 4:04 AM ^
Are they sure it wasn't a Sparty guard on summer vacation?
August 24th, 2016 at 5:43 AM ^
You mean he was sidewalk slapping
August 24th, 2016 at 9:31 AM ^
Exactly. Sprained his knee trying to stop the cop from arresting him.
August 24th, 2016 at 4:37 AM ^
Gorillas have more class than this Ohioan
August 24th, 2016 at 6:38 AM ^
Yes, gorillas everywhere have now been deeply insulted and will now threaten a lawsuit against this British rag unless a retraction isn't published.
August 24th, 2016 at 5:55 AM ^
Pretty standard Ohio here
August 24th, 2016 at 6:25 AM ^
He "excited the business".
August 24th, 2016 at 8:25 AM ^
They were even more excited after he began wanking.
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August 24th, 2016 at 6:47 AM ^
'One of the males entered the License Bureau and was waving his arms around. He then excited the business and began masturbating on the sidewalk.
It's so much easier if you simply bring your renewal paperwork with you to the bureau, or at least take a number and then run home and get the paperwork if possible. What this dude did seems like a measured, rational way to deal with daily difficulties.
August 24th, 2016 at 6:49 AM ^
RIP Harambe
August 24th, 2016 at 8:12 AM ^
#DicksOut
August 24th, 2016 at 7:54 AM ^
Ahia has a problem with it.
August 24th, 2016 at 8:15 AM ^
Too many steroids while a Buckeye player.
August 24th, 2016 at 8:20 AM ^
is redundant
August 24th, 2016 at 8:31 AM ^
I feel like we shouldn't be surprised, I mean everyone kills people, murders people, acts like a sweaty masturbating gorilla in an Ohio strip mall parking lot, whatever.
August 24th, 2016 at 8:32 AM ^
Like you "holier than thou" pricks from Michigan havent acted like a Gorilla and jerked off on the sidewalk in front of the DMV before.
I remember being about 12 or so and my dad told me "Donald - there are two types of boys in this world. Those that act like Gorilla's and masterbate on the sidewalk in front of the DMV and those that lie about it." I guess I know which group YOU guys are in.
August 24th, 2016 at 8:44 AM ^
Ohio dad wisdom has no equal
August 24th, 2016 at 9:20 AM ^
was your dad's name Fred?
August 24th, 2016 at 8:44 AM ^
Why do both of these stories appear in an Australian paper? Why not an Ohio paper?
August 24th, 2016 at 11:03 AM ^
It's a British paper (hence the .uk in its address).
August 24th, 2016 at 8:47 AM ^
There's nut cases in every state. Give the bashing the state of Ohio and its people a rest. Are you failing to remember there's alot of Ohio born and raised MICHIGAN fans such as myself.
August 24th, 2016 at 9:07 AM ^
This isn't Ohio bashing; this is a real phenomenon. Florida and Ohio are #1 and #2 for stuff like this in the news. Look, from someone who lives in Florida (which is ground zero for stupid nutty things like what's in the OP), it's perfectly ok to embrace that your state is one of the top places for stuff like this (seriously, just Google "Florida man").
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August 24th, 2016 at 9:37 AM ^
The game Florida or Ohio is a real thing. Just embrace it as weird stuff happens in Ohio, it's just a thing.
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August 24th, 2016 at 9:38 AM ^
Ohio resident Woody Hayes put state bashing on the map...our pallid comments pale in comparison
August 24th, 2016 at 10:10 AM ^
Agree. I find it sadly psycotic for people to think all things Ohio = bashing. I get not liking OSU, but that doesn't make MY great state bad. I don't like certain teams, but it doesn't mean I have to pretend the whole state is shit.
At some point you everything Ohio Sucks people should seek professional help and move on. Dislike OSU, but grow up on the I won't stop and get gas in that state.
August 24th, 2016 at 11:17 AM ^
I thought the "I won't get gas in that state" thing came from Woody Hayes.
August 24th, 2016 at 11:23 AM ^
Your description of psychotic fans hating the other state sounds a lot more like OSU than U-M. We poke fun at Ohio, but that's as far as it goes. Meanwhile, Michigan fans have to fear for their safety in Columbus.
August 24th, 2016 at 9:45 PM ^
The "worst state ever" shirt exists for a reason and there is a reason it resonates so widely outside of the Michigan fanbase.
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August 24th, 2016 at 10:27 AM ^
That drug is a bitch. Looks like its making its way from florida to ohio.
August 24th, 2016 at 11:36 AM ^
Florida IS Ohio. They're the same state.
August 24th, 2016 at 10:43 AM ^
No poo flinging.
August 24th, 2016 at 11:47 AM ^
Your title is redundant.
[Edit - and so is my comment. Hats off to reddog.]