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Warde: Just gonna give Keith…

Warde: Just gonna give Keith Jackson a quick call to see what he's up to, but first, I'm gonna take a quick glance at the MGoMessage board...  WHOA NELLY! WHAT!?!?!?!?!!

Cherry pie, made with…

Cherry pie, made with Traverse city cherries (with a crumb topping if you're feeling saucy), eaten during a Northern Michigan summer, as the sun is setting over the lake and there is just the slightest chill in the air after spending all day playing in the woods. Quite specific, but that's the answer :)

I think what you outlined is…

I think what you outlined is the best case scenario for Michigan. I saw a documentary when I was younger about the Underwood crime family and they're ruthless. They'll stop at nothing to get the treasure they want.

"Pay no attention to our…

"Pay no attention to our elevnty gazillion dollar waterfall/smoothie bar/biomechanical feedback/virtual reality/training center.  Do you know how much walkie-talkies cost these days!?! It is outrageous!  Even for players safety, we just can't afford it" 

~Coach with a $40,000,000 contract

"sort of" is doing a lot of…

"sort of" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in your statement there :)

Holy crap was that just as…

Holy crap that was just as obnoxious as the notre dame boxer/pitcher combo.  You'd have thought Krenzel was a future multiple Nobel laurate and not a *checks notes* future sports radio commentator/insurance salesman (according to wikipedia).

Medicine is a stressful and…

Medicine is a stressful and difficult field.  Doctors and nurses are typically intelligent and have difficult jobs that vary in the unique ways that they are difficult.

Fixed it for ya.

A good friend of mine from…

A good friend of mine from residency is a doc in the PICU at Children's Mercy. He seems to like the place. I'm not sure if that's a thought, comment, or contribution, maybe more of a tidbit.  Good luck to her on her journey! I imagine her skills will be in high demand.

Prescient, though you were…

Prescient, though you were off by a mere 2min and 59 seconds.  That was an epic 7:01 collapse.

I'm not going to lie, I…

I'm not going to lie, I would get irrationally invested in their make believe tournaments where callers would decide the winner of each matchup. I can still hear Wojo saying he hates the Pringles guy.

That is why I always keep a…

That is why I always keep a torch and pitchfork within arm's reach.  I just never know when I'll need to be BIG MAD at a moments notice, about something I had no previous knowledge of.

That is a cool story, but I…

That is a cool story, but I was hoping you were going to say you were featured in the amateur/high school highlights near the front of mag.  I always knew being on the cover would be a stretch for me, but gosh, I really thought one day I could somehow get a mention there.

Us, who's got it better than

Us, who's got it better than

He's the polar opposite of…

He's the polar opposite of Brian Kelly, who has made an entire career out of everything being everyone else's fault.

I suspect you're entirely…

I suspect you're entirely correct, but I do wonder what constitutes small in this instance.  It's very clear that he'll want as much money as possible and similarly clear msu will want this to go away quietly (and inexpensively).  I wonder where the compromise shakes out and if the public will ever really know. Maybe their department will put out a press release that his severance package (no pun intended) is being paid by donors just like his salary was(n't).

Good for him, now he can go…

Good for him, now he can go wear his thousand dollar outfit, his Louis Vs, and act hard in the league.

I am literally and…

I am literally and metaphorically over the M00N.

I cannot wait for the next year and running into people wearing Michigan gear, sharing a knowing Go Blue.  Have had some real interesting conversations in those situation. While waiting in line for coffee at the airport in San Francisco, had a nice couple in front of me notice my block M hat and tell me that their neighbor was just named the AD and I was going to love him (they were wrong, I did not). Earlier this year, while passing by the restaurant of my hotel in Dublin, I overheard someone say, "we have a really good team this year, JJ McCarthy is my favorite player since Denard Robinson".  Did I stop what I was doing and go late to my research conference because I went over to say Go Blue? You bet your National-Championship-winning-ass that I did.  We're everywhere and we're happy.

This is the comment I've…

This is the comment I've gotten most frequently from tosu or msu affiliated fans.  Something along the lines of, "UGGGGGHHH, Michigan just so lucky, every team they play has their worst game against them, Penix wasn't as good, Milroe wasn't as good, tosu played uncharacteristically bad, etc...".  

I usually reply, "Huh, that's super crazy that teams have tough games while playing the undefeated #1 team in the country with the best defense.  Life is so random"

Seconded, the book is one of…

Seconded, the book is one of my all-time favorites.  To anyone interested enough to read this thread, stop what you're doing, go to your local library or Amazon, get the book, and thank me later.

This sounds like more of a…

This sounds like more of a player safety issue than signs do.  Do our D-linemen need prophylactic antibiotics/antivirals?

Signed on to upvote, that…

Signed on to upvote, that was an epic version. Probably because so many people in the stands were born and raised in south Detroit.

Also, it's a little known…

Also, it's a little known fact, but Beilein had never been an assistant coach throughout his career.

I don't want to ruin the…

I don't want to ruin the surprise, but given the hair and the color of that jumpsuit, it would appear that you were sitting behind Santa (Claus, not Ono). I bet that was the Naughty/Nice list disguised as an academically oriented publication.

(No subject)

I don’t suspect they caught…

I don’t suspect they caught it on the broadcast, but he faced another rain of boos as he scurried away from the field while the players were still being interviewed.

Free single ticket to the…

Free single ticket to the Big Ten Championship.  Section 625. I paid $150 the day they became available and I'd rather make sure it ends up in a Michigan fan's hand than deal with the hassle of stub hub (and their vulture business model).  If interested, email me mgostretch2k3 at gmail dot com.

edit: fudge, my Ticketmaster app isn’t working to transfer. Sorry:(

Along those lines, for those…

Along those lines, for those of ya'll out of town (it was probably mentioned, but worth re-mentioning), if you try for St. Elmos and it's booked, Harry and Izzy's is the less formal cousin nextdoor that shares the same kitchen (menu comparable, but not identical, still a very sound option).

I’ve had the pleasure of…

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with Gus after he called the UofM/IU basketball game a few years back. Dude is a graduate of UofD high school and was very enthusiastic chatting about Michigan. If he was being unprofessionally honest, I’m sure he’d favor Michigan. Though it would be hilarious if he decided to lean into that during broadcast and be like, “and here comes Coach Third Base arguing with the refs again…”

I similarly disagree about…

I similarly disagree about the lack of irreparable harm.  But for the sake of argument, let's say that UofM and the AD agree there's no irreparable harm, for the life of me, I cannot fathom having gone as far as we did, with the statements that have been released, and not seeing the process through.  If the judge was like, "nah, I don't see irreparable harm, go ahead and uphold the suspension", what have we lost?  We either have more skeletons in the closet or we just wilted, neither of which scenario is going to galvanize the university, team, and fans in the way we were a mere 24hrs ago. For me, that's the suckiest part.  How are we as fans/alums/supporters going to shift from "EF the Big Ten, EF Coach Third Base and his PR firm, EF The Thimble Commissioner, EF the world, Michigan against Everyone!" to "whelp, I guess we tried our best. Thank you sir, may I have another? Maybe it's no big deal after all."

Umm… where do you see that…

Umm… where do you see that the NCAA can’t touch us? That seems very much still on the table and given how all of this recent Michigan vs everybody bluster has just resolved, I’m not nearly as confident in projecting what the NCAA will or won’t do. I hope they won’t, but you can crap in one hand and hope in the other, and see which one fills up faster.

Asking this honestly, in…

Asking this honestly, in what ways does that situation sound like being a doctor?

Sincerely,

A confused doctor

Not only am I following, I'm…

Not only am I following, I'm one of the six remaining!  Sorry I can't provide more details at the moment, I'm pretty tired.

Good gracious, how hilarious…

Good gracious, how hilarious would it be if groups of men started dressing up in dark suits, sunglasses, and walkie-talkies started showing up at games? Just going full Secret Service at every away game.

This entire thread reminds…

This entire thread reminds me of one of my best Halloweens ever. I made me a couple of varment friends out of C4 (modeling clay) held together by some wire and spent the entire evening quoting Caddyshack.  The 30% of people who got the references thought it was hilarious. The other 70% thought I was a golf-adjacent homeless man.  Anyhow, let's kill some gophers tomorrow. 

 

By "a guy", do you actually…

By "a guy", do you actually mean "Mel Tugger"?  That really kinda sounds like him.

Word of warning on gas stops…

Word of warning on gas stops in South Bend, my most recent (and final) time I stopped there, was with the wife and kids in the car and ran to use the rest room at a gas station.  I would have preferred another option, but I overplayed my hand and by the time we stopped there, I was all in on that facility because the mechanical forces on my bladder were maxed out.  When I get there, the men's room is in use and the door's locked.  So I wait. And wait. And wait.  It's over 10 minutes and I'm pondering if I'm better off just going in the parking lot or the beverage coolers.  Finally, a guy walks out with his shirt off, a dripping wet mullet, the toilet clogged with what appeared to be scaled down replica of Mt. Fuji made of toilet paper, and water all over the floor. I believe the gent must've taken a "shower" in the restroom before me, but I had no other choice but to use the restroom.  The only upside was that the line had ballooned while I was waiting so the gent behind me knew that I didn't wash my mullet in there.

TLDR: Never stop for gas or to use a restroom in South Bend. Never.

Oh, he’s got like 80,000,000…

Oh, he’s got like 80,000,000 reasons to go down swinging. What’s the worst that could happen? He could ruin his reputation? That ship has sailed…

Agreed.  Their tournaments…

Agreed.  Their tournaments always made the drive a little better. I can still hear Wojo going crazy about the Pringles man in their snack tournament.

As it stands now,…

As it stands now, Thanksgiving is the PAC12 of holidays. Santa has already nibbled away at November and is poised to take over the entire month. Thanksgiving should consider aligning itself with either St Patrick’s day for a drunk pilgrim month or maybe the Fourth of July. If I remember correctly, the pilgrims fled England because of restrictions on their bottle rockets.

Seconded. 

If there are…

Seconded. 

If there are aliens capable of reaching us, we better pray to whatever deity of our choosing (that allows for the exitance of other sentient beings) that the aliens don't spot us.  If there's an alien species out there capable of reaching us, they're a metaphorical lion and we're ants.  There is no upside to an ant begging for the attention of a lion.

Protip: when I was coaching…

Protip: when I was coaching that age, I absolutely could not keep them spread out, until… I told them that they needed to stay far enough apart that if their teammate farted, they were safe.  When they’d clump, I’d be like, “jimmy, if Joe farts, you’re toast, spread out!”. They would chuckle and then eventually start to police each other.

The first rule I followed to…

The first rule I followed to a tee with kids that age, I made lineups ahead of time not because I wanted to organize our best players, because I wanted to keep track and make certain everyone played equally and at every position (heck, I kept a running tally in an excel file over the course of the season it was that important to me).

https://youtu.be/Kb58F3r_TQM


i highly recommend the Mojo YouTube channel, there are tons of good ideas organized by age and skill. Highly recommended. Also highly recommended, when the kids versus parents scrimmage goes down at the end of the year, wear one of those inflatable tyrannosaurus costumes to play.

Sincerely,

some random internet dude who played Club soccer at Michigan and coaches kids currently.

Good on both of them for…

Good on both of them for showing a bit in summer league, hoping they both have success. It will be interesting to see how far Emoni's Tyrannosaurus arms can take him (I legit cannot un-see that visual after his measurements came out, not too many NBA players with a negative wingspan).

https://therookiewire.usatoday.com/2021/10/06/emoni-bates-memphis-pro-day-measurements/

Reminds me of a joke...

A…

Reminds me of a joke...

A skeleton walks into a bar and the server comes over and says, "what can I get for ya?".  The skeleton thinks for a minute and says, "I'll have a coke. And a mop".

I heard he wanted to be a…

I heard he wanted to be a package deal with the five-star RB, Land Noair.

It would take a stroke of…

It would take a stroke of luck for that to happen but we could really use someone who is ready to dive right in.

As a soccer ref from the…

As a soccer ref from the time I was 12 through an IM ref in college, I would put a vote in for soccer parents/players.  It's not as quiet, but there seems to be a mob mentality amongst the parents and some more subjectivity to the calls that makes them prone to losing their minds (I mean, the Premier league can barely describe what constitutes a handball and yet all the mini-Messi parents are expecting a 14yo ref to call it every time the ball glances off the other team's shoulder. Which it does about 20x per game).  I once reffed a team the week after their parents surrounded a ref in the parking lot by pulling a car behind his car and berating him through the windows.  In my game, those coaches "only" lost their minds and pulled their whole team off the field and quit the game about midway through the second half, so I got off lucky!  I mean, it wasn't that long ago that a men's league ref was killed in a game in Rochester. https://soccer.nbcsports.com/2014/07/31/testimony-in-death-of-michigan-referee-provides-disturbing-glimpse-into-incident/

In that case, they'd…

In that case, they'd probably suit up some dorks in purple jerseys for the "Worthnestern Mildcats".  Any similarities to existing universities or athletes would be purely happenstance.

I like your optimism about…

I like your optimism about Pepi (and admittedly, I have not followed him closely for club play) but yeesh, I have not seen much from him on the international stage to suggest he is grabbing the reins as the USMNT #9. Though I very much hope you’re right, you can never have too many world class strikers, that’s what I always say.

And it would’ve ended up a…

And it would’ve ended up a 130 yard Hail Mary.