Has anyone intentionally toned down their fanhood in order to improve their well being/mental health?
Sorry in advance for what I'm sure is one of the more laughably depressing threads we've had after a loss, but it's a serious question. Mods if this is just too much, kill it. I was talking with a guy yesterday who intentionally stopped being a sports fan because it was too much stress and too distressing for him. I'm a generally happy person, but after a loss like that I can be depressed for days, and to be perfectly honest I feel like it might just be healthier for me to tune out a little bit. Much as I love Michigan and football, the fact that one of the biggest causes of distress in my life is sports is just not healthy.
Thoughts? Talk me off the ledge?
October 13th, 2013 at 12:37 PM ^
Seems like you are talking yourself away the ledge... Personally, I don't know what I would do without fanhood
October 13th, 2013 at 12:44 PM ^
... but it is reality.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:47 PM ^
Just updated it this morning... Had such high hopes for this season... Sorry for adding to your sadness
October 13th, 2013 at 12:48 PM ^
It's Borges'.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:41 PM ^
way. I put way too much of myself into things I have no control of. I was in a situation where I should have been having a great time, but I was miserable last night. It's not healthy.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:43 PM ^
Before this season I would sacrifice anything on Saturdays to see every second of every game... Even during the RR years.
Since Akron, I've been trying to just passivley consume the games (even miss quarters) in order to keep my sanity. Unfortunatley, it hasn't worked all that well.
At least we have BBall......
October 13th, 2013 at 12:44 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 12:44 PM ^
I went to U of M from 07-11 so I endured "The Horror" (my first home sporting event as a student), the Oregon blowout, and all the frustrations of the RichRod era. Not to mention the Josh Gasser bankshot buzzer beater (my last home sporting event as a student). It got really tiring being so invested in the outcome and having my Saturday's ruined by something I have no control over. And having the disappointment spill over into the week while worrying about the next game.
I'm still a rabid Michigan fan. Haven't missed a single football or basketball game as a Grad Student elsewhere (thanks DVR!). I love it when we win. I love watching Michigan play. I check this blog daily. I hate to lose, but I don't let it bother me anymore.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can change...and the wisdom to know the difference. Not trying to get religious, but seriously. Hoke and the team probably feel pretty awful about losing. I'll trust them to deal with it. Is my anxiety or fury going to make any difference? Nope, I'd rather just watch the Tigers and get a good night sleep.
Go Blue. It'll all be OK.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:54 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 5:21 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 12:44 PM ^
since having kids, yes.
choose to focus on the hockey team when the football team inevitably does something stupid.
like lose to a 61 s'ship team with no offense and no defense
October 13th, 2013 at 12:44 PM ^
I'm backing off a bit.
I got way too invested in that loss yesterday. Had trouble falling asleep and when I woke up, I realized that the nightmare was real.
I have put way too much energy in being a Michigan football fan for way too long. I will still watch the games and go to the home games, but with way less involvement emotionally.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:58 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 12:51 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 12:46 PM ^
Unless I can be there in person (couple of times a year), I avoid watching games in real time on TV unless I can do it in the company of many others. (Haven't done that in a while here in Chicago ... hurts my aging ears.) Just not worth it ... there are too many other interesting things to do on a weekend. I check the score a half-hour or so after the game should be ending. Aside: I really miss those "every offensive/defensive snap" videos.
I think it's a good strategy for my mental health. May not work for everyone ... to each his/her own.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:57 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 3:23 PM ^
DVR is your friend. Maybe I am becoming an ADHD fan, but I have gotten into the habit of DVRing a game, and begin watching it about 90 minutes after the start. Part of the angst is waiting for something to happen, and now I can FF thru all the commercials, half-times, studio updates, under further reviews, extra points scored by opposing teams, etc.; it just removes a lot of the dead time that allows your emotions to otherwise boil over.
90 minutes is about right for catching the end of the 4th quarter in real time. Living outside the midwest also helps. The only games I watch completely live anymore are OSU and bowl games.
I have tried being less of a fan. It doesn't work, I bleed blue and have done so for decades.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:47 PM ^
I used to, but during the Rodriguez years I developed a sociopathic ability to detach my negative emotions from reality when the team played poorly. I remember laughing through the 2008 OSU game because at that point it was just hilarious that we were so terrible. I usually do a little venting, but I try to channel it into humor instead of anger, which in turn makes losses much easier to cope with.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:24 PM ^
Started off well with Stevie Brown's interception of Terrel Pryor, but other than Brandon Minor's 2nd quarter TD there wasn't much to cheer about. At least the non-shutout streak was maintained, the loss of which was my biggest fear going into that game in Columbus.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:48 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 12:52 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 12:49 PM ^
I thought I had gotten over the kind of anger, rage, unmitigated sadness, and completely pissed-offness that I was capable of in the pre-RR era when Michigan did what we did last night. I really did. I thought that part of me was gone. Then last night happened.
I guess that's what an acid flashback feels like?
October 13th, 2013 at 1:44 PM ^
No, acid flashbacks are much better
October 13th, 2013 at 12:50 PM ^
Started around '05. Glad I did or I'd be dead now.
October 13th, 2013 at 12:51 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 12:55 PM ^
If it's ruining nights, then step away. The reason all of us got into this is because it's supposed to fun. Unfortunately, for many, it seems only to be fun when Michigan plays perfectly. However, it is quite possible to be a big fan and not let your mood be tanked by poor play or poor decisions or any of the other negative things that happen when a bunch of people play a game. I can't say I had a big smile on my face at the end of the PSU game, but I was able to turn off the game once it was over and enjoy the rest of my weekend.
I know that people make these comments regularly and typically people are quite defensive in response. I'll just surmise by saying that placing your emotional state in the hands of something so far beyond your control is unwise.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:02 PM ^
The only season that really went well (til the end anyways) was 06. Then, well ya we don't need a recap (11 was good but lost to staee). The losses always make me miserable for a bit. Particulary because the past five yrs have had a distressing pattern: the fact we always seem to hire a coordinator who makes things worse. Between GERG and Al, it has been too many years of being completely baffled by the way things are done. That being said, I still love seeing the players compete, the winged helmet, the memories... and the sense that one day the ship will get back on course. Go Blue.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^
Yes. I still screamed and yelled at what an idiot Borges is and that Hoke is channeling his Lloyd Carr after that punt and it would come back to bite us in the ass.
But I used to be depressed for a while after losses, but once the 2nd overtime came I realized I didn't really care anymore. We haven't won a B1G title since 04 and that's not changing this season. We just don't have elite coaching and I hate to admit it, but it is what it is. OSU has rolled us for a decade because they have elite coaching.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^
With Llord as coach, with 5 big ten champs, 5 rose bowls and a NC, I alway believed we could be at the Rose Bowl again every year.
Since then, my expectations and fanhood and been lowered. Michigan doesn't really scare anyone anymore. Michigan football is like the toothless bumble abominable snowman from Rudolf, once a year we might get to put a star on the tree (like a Notre Dame or Suger Bowl win) but that's it.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:07 PM ^
Wow, I expected to be laughed at and run off with this post... looks like I'm not alone with this though. If anyone has had any successful techniques at staying happy when Michigan wins but coping better with losses, I'd love to hear them. Otherwise, I might not be too crazy for just tuning out a bit.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:13 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 2:32 PM ^
your liver.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:07 PM ^
I was surprised it only ruined about an hour of my night but the Notre Dame game last year ruined my entire night. I should probably step back. I tried to pull for other teams in college sports but cant get involved even the tiniest amount. I wasn't a "fire the coach" kind of guy until Richrod unfortunately it carried over into the Hoke era.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:14 PM ^
Yes.
OP you are not alone in any way. After going to school for the RR years and the past few seasons I simply no longer live and die with michigan football. Actually I wouldn't say I lived and died with it, but now I have quiet resignation.
I've reguarly started to speculate what my fandom would have been like had I gone to an SEC school like originally planned. That's not good
October 13th, 2013 at 1:08 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 1:09 PM ^
Yes.
I have three bruises on my hand from hitting it hard against a wall in anger during OT. My kids are afraid to talk to me.
Time to dial it back.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:12 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 1:11 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 1:12 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 1:15 PM ^
I've had this conversation with my adult sons over the past few years and we all agree with the idea behind this post. i attended u-m from 71-78 and have remained a devoted fan since that time. i find myself feeling worse about losses as i get older and not deriving as much pleasure from the wins. (akron and ucon were actually worse for me than psu)
i have trouble sleeping on saturdays regardless of the outcome of the game. i have endured many donkey punches over the years but i keep returning for more. i thought rr would bring us to a new level of glory and we know what happend-i had my doubts about the current regime and now i feel anger over what i see as a lack of progress. people can talk about systems and lack of experience but we are simply not very good right now.
the job of the coaching staff is to prepare players and put them in a positon when they can possibly win. our coaches are playing not to lose. going forward, my biggest fear is how it will affect recruiting which is our only salvation at this time
October 13th, 2013 at 1:15 PM ^
You have to keep things in perspective and if sports, a relationship, substance a use, or anything else causes you to lose perspective on life, then it's time to step away and re calibrate.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:17 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 1:21 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 1:29 PM ^
October 13th, 2013 at 1:25 PM ^
Yes I have conciously decided to tone down my involvement. Last night I kept waking up with the deep throw to Robinson (one with Stribling guarding him) playing in my head. This level of distress over something I have no control over is clearly unhealthy. So I have made a simple decision - I will still be involved in Michigan atheletics - but I will not watch live. I will record all games and will make a decision post-result whether I want to watch it. I hope this will lead to a more calmer association with Michigan sports.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:26 PM ^
I use to get so frustrated when my favorite teams lost as a kid/teen but now I try to keep things in perspective. Life is about so much more than whether MY team won a game. I love my teams, follow every move they make, and get nervous/excited watching them play, but if they lose it is not the end of the world just because I can't be happy about my team but the opposing fans can be. If we win, great! If we lose, it is tough, but there is always another game to look forward to.
October 13th, 2013 at 1:28 PM ^
How about just toning down your reaction to one game?
October 13th, 2013 at 1:30 PM ^