First they gave you Awful Announcing. Now they bestow upon you RGIII
I'm impartial as usual, but I do believe what's entering our collective ears during nationally televised college football games between horrifically dumb and long commercial breaks is better than anything Beth Mowins or Pam Ward can fathom, let alone articulate.
Elsewhere on Saturday night my ditzy girlfriend spit out her drink when she saw Washington students holding a sign in the stands "Let the Penix Rise!!". I was both highly offended, but also spectacularly amused, at the same time.
Robert Griffin III as a college football color analyst is no Frank Broyles or Ara Parseghian.
But Robert Griffin III doesn't have to be.
He just needs to say some whacked out stuff that is adjacent to the gladiator event taking place on the field and the gonads in the viewing audience.
"Orgies in the endzone" and "Big Penix Energy" are just the beginning, folks.
I recommend you check the names on all of the FBS rosters before kickoff. You never know WITAF this guy is going to insert into his booth prose.
For it is precisely in this endeavor that Mr. Thirstin Griffin III has no rival.
Article: https://www.outkick.com/robert-griffin-rgiii-rg3-sexual-innuendo-orgy-penix-energy-premature-snapulation-broadcast/
September 18th, 2022 at 2:35 PM ^
The network will need a 5-second censor delay if this escalates any further
September 18th, 2022 at 5:36 PM ^
I'm gonna take cuts here.
Hey OP, WITAF were you remotely offended by the "Penix" comment, give me a break with that prude BS, what are you, a religious nut?
RGIII seems cool to me, I like him.
September 19th, 2022 at 8:49 AM ^
Starting the post with some sexism is always a good take!
September 19th, 2022 at 11:27 AM ^
So, OP, of all the announcers on tv you decide to rag on Beth Mowins and Pam Ward. And then rag on your "ditzy" girl friend? You must really have a micro-dick you misogynistic prick. (Just kidding... no, I'm not... well, maybe. )
September 18th, 2022 at 5:48 PM ^
We need a 6 day delay for most posters on this board
September 18th, 2022 at 2:38 PM ^
I can't stand people joking or having fun during a broadcast! Doesn't RGIII know how important games are!?!
/S
September 18th, 2022 at 2:56 PM ^
I'm with you. Football in general, and college football specifically, has gotten too professional and serious at the expense of fun, IMO.
September 19th, 2022 at 8:29 AM ^
I've come to look forward to the Nickelodeon broadcast of an NFL playoff game every year.
It is both the exact same thing and the exact opposite of the RG3 experience.
September 18th, 2022 at 3:25 PM ^
I'll take RG3 over Gary Danielson 7 days a week and especially on Saturday.
September 18th, 2022 at 3:41 PM ^
During the UWashington-Staee last night, the MSU center hesitated during a snap, with a penalty for an Illegal Snap.
RGIII called it "Premature Snapulation."
This is such a rare penalty that I'm guessing he made it up on the spot. If so, it's doubly impressive, the line itself AND the quick wit.
September 18th, 2022 at 7:29 PM ^
I have to respectfully disagree that he came up with it.
Having played oline, I can guarantee you that RG3 was getting a stuttered snap and some grizzled oline coach, who has seen things, screamed that and many other choice phrases at the poor center like Gunnery Sargent Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, and RG3, being like any normal human, had "premature snapulation" permanently burrowed into his earhole since you never forget stuff like that to then be accessed in a spectacular fashion on prime time TV.
September 18th, 2022 at 8:43 PM ^
So you're saying that "premature snapulation" is a traditional, honorable bit of wisdom, passed down through generations.
Understood.
September 18th, 2022 at 4:43 PM ^
Jessica, is that you? My wife was upset as kids watch games too!
September 18th, 2022 at 5:13 PM ^
This might get downvoted, but I don’t really care, but kids do watch football too, and it’s not really in the best interest to have something as non controversial as a sporting event introducing them to things they maybe don’t need to hear yet in their lives. Just my 2 cents.
September 18th, 2022 at 5:21 PM ^
You think watching your kids watching people give each other irreversible brain damage is any better?
September 18th, 2022 at 9:08 PM ^
Good God people here can be insufferable.
September 19th, 2022 at 11:33 AM ^
Look in the mirror, bub.
September 18th, 2022 at 5:33 PM ^
Having the camera on a coach with even the most basic of lip-reading abilities is far, far more offensive than anything RGIII said.
Also, if your kid can get that “Orji in the end zone” or “premature snapulation” means anything… they’re already corrupted.
September 18th, 2022 at 9:09 PM ^
You guys are A+ parents……
September 18th, 2022 at 5:49 PM ^
The interwebs are a thing dude, they already know
September 18th, 2022 at 5:55 PM ^
Along with football, kids are watching TicTok and Snapchat.
I grew up on Bugs Bunny and all his innuendos are cut out. Kids gotta learn sarcasm and innuendo somewhere. Makes them well rounded.
September 18th, 2022 at 6:10 PM ^
How would kids know "premature snapulation" is a sexual play on words—it simply sounds like jokey slang—unless they already know what "premature ejaculation" means?
September 18th, 2022 at 9:10 PM ^
Maybe, just maybe they don’t need to here it.
go ahead, call me a puritan.
September 19th, 2022 at 1:05 AM ^
I’m here to call you a puritan, if that’s what you’d like to hear.
But I don’t think it’s a matter of purity. If children don’t understand the vague reference at all, I don’t see what harm there is to tender ears.
Now if someone kept saying “fuck,” I’d agree with you. Even little kids, without knowing the meaning, recognize it’s a “bad” word from the way adults react when it’s said.
But “snapulation”? How could any kid know what that word means, or that it’s “good” or “bad”? Even putting it together with “premature,” it would take an older kid or adult comprehension to get the sexual reference.
If you are offended or upset hearing a sexual reference in a sporting broadcast, I understand and sympathize. It is unusual, surprising, maybe even shocking. But I don’t understand how the arcane sexual allusion has anything to do with kids—unless you're explaining the joke to kids.
September 19th, 2022 at 11:36 AM ^
Shut the fuck up already, Hayes. Oh, and explain to your kids what that means. Better yet, have them explain it to you.
September 19th, 2022 at 1:15 AM ^
Hell man I just found out in the game chat I cant use the name of our 4th string running back and our wildcat QBs name in the same sentence. I guess our running backs name when combined with the QBs name is offensive. If you are confused welp welcome to the party pal.
September 19th, 2022 at 11:37 AM ^
Damn, I need me a Gash Orji!
September 18th, 2022 at 8:19 PM ^
Better keep the Bible out of their hands, too. Full of incest, rape, murder, mutilation, genocide, and attempted child murder. Oh, and God drowns the entire population of the world (minus one family) b/c he was a little angry.
September 18th, 2022 at 9:15 PM ^
The only thing worse than legalistic puritans weaponizing the Bible is when legalistic degenerates weaponize the Bible.
September 18th, 2022 at 2:38 PM ^
Your girl spits?
September 18th, 2022 at 2:51 PM ^
Sad, isn't it? Poor guy...
September 18th, 2022 at 3:00 PM ^
Meh. At that point it doesn't really change things, does it?
September 19th, 2022 at 3:12 AM ^
Honestly who cares if she spits or swallows. Either way you win.
September 18th, 2022 at 2:40 PM ^
I loved RGIII when he called our first game. Kept it entertaining
September 18th, 2022 at 5:09 PM ^
I'm with you regarding RGIII, he's new and refreshing, what I didn't like was the announcer and color man for the Michigan game. They were awful
September 18th, 2022 at 2:42 PM ^
It actually takes some level of skill to push the envelope without crossing the line. RG3 has yet to cross that line.
September 18th, 2022 at 2:43 PM ^
It's schoolboy stuff, delivered with a certain cheerful innocence. On top of that, the guy knows a little about football. (And he didn't make that sign--you toss that in as if it's further evidence against him.) Outside of a very few people, I detest the grey and cheerless good old boy network that has dominated football announcing for decades. (Gus Johnson--of more recent vintage--has quickly grown stale for me.) Personally, I was enjoying it, and I'm a late-middle-aged middle class suburban male. My wife also giggled, and she's a feminist scholar of 18c lit. Surely, if she's able to process RGIII's humor without getting her knickers too knotted, that should be possible for other people.
You kind of give your political GPS/coordinates away, btw, by making sure you cast aspersions on the only two women announcers out there while you're at it, then valorize two ancient retired guys. (Not crazy about Mowins's voice, but she comes prepared.)
I'm glad that you and I are not calling the shots!
September 18th, 2022 at 2:56 PM ^
He’s made innuendo to orgies, penis, and ejaculation. If they want to do a separate stream that’s filled with 7th grade boner jokes go for it, don’t think it’s necessary for a national broadcast at 12 noon.
September 18th, 2022 at 3:34 PM ^
Found the church lady
September 18th, 2022 at 4:50 PM ^
i’m not offended as a parent or whatever, i’m offended as a comedian. penis / orgy jokes are the weakest of sauces.
September 18th, 2022 at 5:53 PM ^
I suggest the “mute” button, but I’m sure your vacuum tube TV with attached rabbit ears may actually require you to set aside the tv tray and get up from the lazy boy to turn the volume knob to the lowest setting
September 18th, 2022 at 11:08 PM ^
As a parent, I find there are many, many things to worry about. Penix jokes don't even make the list.
September 19th, 2022 at 11:40 AM ^
I'm all for Boner jokes 24/7/365 (366 in leap years). Now, poop jokes are a different story.
September 18th, 2022 at 3:43 PM ^
They much more directly give their political coordinates away by linking outkick of all places
September 19th, 2022 at 11:46 AM ^
Current Outkick home page features an interview with Curt Schilling and an article on Imaginary Racism. OP citing to it reveals him to be even more of a sub-human than his misogyny would initially suggest.
September 18th, 2022 at 5:35 PM ^
My completely non-sports interested wife insists she would actually watch football with me if announcers would lean into the pretty obvious double entendres in football a little more.
September 18th, 2022 at 8:48 PM ^
Years ago I remember a SE Michigan radio station (possibly WRIF) making a long clip of things John Madden said (e.g., "Ram it up in there.").