First 5K students get free glazed donuts for "glazed donut game"
Everything Brady Hoke says Dave Brandon can do something with.
"This Is Michigan"
"ohio"
"Glazed donut game"
Rumors are true, the first 5K @umichstudents to arrive at Michigan Stadium on Sat. will receive 'glazed' donuts courtesy of @TimHortonsUS.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:39 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 6:13 PM ^
- They're not glazed donuts. They are 'glazed' donuts. I'm not sure what the difference is, but there must be one, since they put glazed in single quotation marks. Maybe they're pseudo-glazed. Perhaps students will also be offered 'filtered' coffee.
- Tim Horton's is (originally) a Canadian company and therefore communist and their products are also therefore communist. Red-blooded Americans should avoid them at all costs.
September 12th, 2013 at 7:53 PM ^
September 13th, 2013 at 10:44 AM ^
Sometimes we practically write jokes for our rivals, and quite frankly I don't care. Donuts are awesome and Hoke is chubby.
September 13th, 2013 at 11:08 AM ^
When the only thing they've got on us is that we distribute doughnuts*, we're doing pretty well for ourselves.
*I shun the newfangled spelling.
September 12th, 2013 at 4:55 PM ^
Is this going to be a thing from now on?
Based on Hoke's comments, it seems like he refers to noon kickoffs as "donut games."
September 12th, 2013 at 4:54 PM ^
We should also get a cupcake because we're playing Akron.
September 12th, 2013 at 4:55 PM ^
Haven't we learned by now not to use that word?
September 12th, 2013 at 4:58 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 6:31 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 7:33 PM ^
I know what rumor you're talking about, but I find it hard to believe. The players stay in a hotel the night before games and there is a bed check, so how were they going to be out partying?
September 12th, 2013 at 8:02 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 8:32 PM ^
I'd really like to know the truth of that story for real, one way or another. I was just trying to be funny. I don't know if the rumor is true.
Now one might say that judging by the way they played, the smart money would be on, well, some "glazing." But honestly, I was at that game, and what amazed me was not so much that Michigan was terrible that day (the defense was terrible, but against an absolutely brilliant, performance-of-a-lifetime spread offense); rather, it was that App State was pretty fucking brilliant.
When I think of a team playing like they were stoned out of their minds, I think of the 2007 Michigan team the next week, against Oregon. Another spread, that we couldn't even touch. The worst pantsing of a Michigan team I have ever seen in Michigan Stadium.
And I am not supposing that anybody was glazed, two weeks in a row.
September 12th, 2013 at 9:48 PM ^
Rich Rod.
September 13th, 2013 at 9:36 AM ^
live. As well as both OSU road games, and one Wisconsin road game; all losses.
And I cannot think of a more severe beatdown in Michigan Stadium, than what the '07 team experienced at the hands of Oregon.
Apart from your bland (and frankly incorrect) trashtalk reference to Rich Rodriguez, which game are you going to nominate, as a worse beating than Oregon '07?
September 13th, 2013 at 9:51 AM ^
How about 2010 vs. Wisconsin? The old "they threw one pass in the second half" game?
Or, you know... Toledo. Sure it was a tight 13-10 defensive struggle... BUT IT WAS TOLEDO.
September 13th, 2013 at 9:59 AM ^
Wisconsin '10: Michigan lost 48-28 and was outgained 558 to 442.
Oregon '07: Michigan lost 39-7 and was outgained 624 to 365.
September 13th, 2013 at 10:24 AM ^
I know the score and yardage was closer, but I think there's a special place in infamy for a game in which a team entirely retires half of its offense and still manages to put up nearly a point a minute.
September 13th, 2013 at 6:32 AM ^
If I remember correctly, Michigan had over 300 yards at halftime versus Oregon -- but only 1 touchdown to show for all of those yards.
September 13th, 2013 at 11:06 AM ^
I believe we actually outgained them in the first half. Worst redzone execution ever.
September 12th, 2013 at 4:58 PM ^
If you don't chew you can still choke on a cupcake.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:04 PM ^
But cupcakes are delicious!
Also, BiSB labelled it a cupcake game in Opponent Watch.
Honestly speaking, Akron scares me a lot less than App St would. They've won 4 games since 2009, and are a terrible MAC team (App St. was FCS champion for 3 years running).
September 12th, 2013 at 4:55 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 5:02 PM ^
It's a euphemism for "whiskey and" that the Twitter feed used to save characters. It's like LOL, but super secret.
September 12th, 2013 at 4:57 PM ^
Oh god. I hope this is the new tradition. Donut games. Awesome.
I'm sure that this will make great board fodder for our rivals, since they loooove to make fun of Hoke's weight. In the meanwhile, I will be enjoying free donuts.
September 12th, 2013 at 6:50 PM ^
It's already started, my friend. It's already started.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:02 PM ^
I'll be there. Will Brady be handing them out personally, I wonder? Is he the Donut Man? Are teams like Akron henceforth to be known as "donuts" instead of "cupcakes"?
Questions like these must be answered.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:04 PM ^
The truly prepared will come with their own supply of donuts.
And cider.
Franklin Cider Mill....mmmmmmm...... miss it so much.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:03 PM ^
I wonder what Lloyd Carr would have handed out at noon games. Probably library card subscriptions to the AA Public Library
September 12th, 2013 at 7:39 PM ^
Lloyd obviously would have handed out stern, yet sage life advice.
September 12th, 2013 at 10:06 PM ^
I don't know; no one had to line up at 10am to watch a 100 point victory back then.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:08 PM ^
that this is corporate advertising? Tim Horton's get's some nice press for like $2,000 in doughnuts.
September 12th, 2013 at 6:12 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 5:10 PM ^
Maybe this will up the selling prices from $5 on the Facebook market places for student tickets.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:11 PM ^
somebody say donuts?
September 12th, 2013 at 5:24 PM ^
The first 5k people who insult Drew Sharp on twitter get an autographed picture with a personal "fuck you" signature from the man himself.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:33 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 5:43 PM ^
Henceforth all games against non-BCS and non-FBS teams shall be known as "Donuts" at Michigan.
September 12th, 2013 at 5:49 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 5:58 PM ^
Give up your tickets if you're just going to sell them to rivals! I'm sick of the stadium being overrun by heathens from the MAC and lesser conferences!
September 12th, 2013 at 6:01 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 7:40 PM ^
September 12th, 2013 at 5:59 PM ^
This please. And everyone tweet the picture to @umichfootball @HunterLochmann @DaveBrandonAD #GASucks
September 12th, 2013 at 6:05 PM ^
Maybe if the students actually showed up on time and showed up period in some cases, there wouldn't be this problem?
September 12th, 2013 at 6:22 PM ^
Yeah, creating a motionless mosh pit outside the stadium directed towards the student section was the correct solution to the non-existent night game attendence problem.
September 12th, 2013 at 7:56 PM ^
Exactly. Anyone in favor of General Admission obviously was not part of that. Not only was it a giant clusterfuck, it was downright dangerous.
September 12th, 2013 at 8:16 PM ^
It's not an either/or. You can have GA and still have sane policies regarding stadium access. Those are separate issues.
I get that you guys don't like to wait in line, but you're throwing a lot of red herrings out here. Schools all over the country have GA seating for students, and they don't necessarily have stampedes.
September 12th, 2013 at 8:24 PM ^
Is execution suddenly not up for criticing? Somehow they have functioning scoreboards all across the country too, yet score board operation has baffled them for 3 years.