A Festivus for the Rest of Us

This year, many seemed to have an issue with my posts and negged me. My response:

Hey. Pass the meatloaf!

Merry Christmas too to all the dudes, dudettes, dudelas, et al.

My grievances….

1. We don’t have enough 5 stars

2. We only have beaten OSU 3 times in a row. 
 

3. Our coach buys hamburgers and pets stray dogs.  Harbaugh should be fired. 
 

4. The heated seats in my car just don’t get warm enough.  
 

Man I feel better!!

Thamel, it's Christmas but you can still go fuck yourself.  

I challenge anyone who graduated before 1981 to the "Feats of Strength™️."

I started celebrating early with North Peak Brewing Company Blitzen Festivus Ale last night.

Grievances?  The BIg10, NCAA, Petitti, and journalists without character or integrity.

Rain instead of a white Christmas is a minor grievance.  

Hey Day, my son tells me your PI firm STINKS! YOU COULDNT SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE... lost my train of thought...

The Story of Festivus

“…and as we rained blows down upon the Buckeyes, I realized there had to be a better way.”

”That must’ve been some football game.”

”Oh, it was…”

I got grievances! First time ever. 
 

1. The organizers of Corum’s Somerset toy drive! What the EFF!? You couldn’t have planned for anywhere near the correct number of people??? Call up that actuarial firm and fire them!!!  Then fire Bakich! Justin Feagin. Then call that planning committee of the event back and FIRE THEM AGAIN! 

2. The M Den. All of 2023 you have been sold out of almost everything and anything anyone in my family wanted! It’s like they don’t want women and children to shop there at all and your favorite player has to be Corum, JJ, or Harbaugh. 
 

See you all at the Feats of Strength. 

1. Trustage 

end 

Hey!  No bagel no bagel no bagel!

And eff you NCAA for not allowing cream cheese you Grinchly mothereffers.

Nothing like texting friends today to tell them my problems with them and genuinely are confused. It’s a Festivus for rest of us

Anyone else find tinsel distracting? 

Damn it, I can’t play this game. I have no problems with any of you people! You helped our family so much and gave us a glimmer of hope during this difficult time.

so I’ll air out my frustration over the bowl committee. You have a criteria of winning your conference and getting an autobid into the playoffs, that apparently start next year. FSU should be in the playoffs.

Some of you are whiny, snivelling, pathetic poopy heads. So many on this blog are such such such good people with such such such  good morals. I hope I can be as good someday.  Anybody that's tattled in the moderator action sticky about some minor moral offense or somebody not following some unwritten rule is a word I can't say because they'll tattle in the moderator action sticky, but think of the most offensive possible word and know I'm joyfully applying that word to you and I love that word for you. It fits like the warm cozy sweater that I'd love to tie around your neck and drag you into traffic with. Merry Festivus. Am I doing this right?

My grievance, 

1. NCAA

2. B1G (league, coaches, schools are all a bunch of bitches)

3. The winter weather in Michigan

4. People who post or comment about Michigan basketball who have no clue about college basketball (see the majority of the game threads).

Thankful for, 

My great family, my health, Michigan athletics and the great people on this blog. 

Stop crying and fight your father.

Unfortunately, I have so much of this going on among family and friends over the I/P question that I would like to beg for a day off from the airing of grievances.

1. sports journalists in heat for Alabama making predictions based on the past while ignoring this year's actual performance

2. decline of civilization

3. that we are in the beginning of the Apocolypse

4. 99% of elected officials in DC and Lansing

To: Paul Thamel, Pete Finebaum, Tiny Pettiti, Jim Stupidton, Cryin’ Day, Bert Bielema, Whinin’ Walters, Matt Tule, and everyone else seeking the ruin of Michigan’s soul: GET BENT.

Happy Festivus.