Dyson Blades
Close friend with inside information at small-town HS in south Florida says kid is high 4*/low 5* middle linebacker prospect in next rerank. He very confident about commit soon, told me "book-it" (I trust him with my babby boys). Senor Blades doesn't have profile, plays single-A small balls, but measurable intangibles are off charts.
6'1''
240 lb
4.73s 40
37'' vertical
325lb bench
Film incredibly grainy and tends to zoom in/out randomly, but I know he's high-motor kid, LOVES CONTACT and I like that a lot in a defensive player, needs to work on pad-level (but who doesn't amirite). Excited to come MIIIICCHHHH and kick some aSS!
"measurable intangibles"
FAIL
lets hope for the best
Either he will commit, or he won't, right?
How's his pad level?
Does he like the cold weather? Night games? Maize jerseys?
And because he's a Florida kid, if he doesn't start as a freshman, will he get "homesick" real fast?
Love, Maizeman.
A commit where? I couldnt find him on rivals or scout...
I've heard of that kid! High motor is right - he'll be a vast improvement over the current flimsy models you see so often in that position.
Rivals/Scout always pluck a guy from obscurity and plop a 5 star ranking on them. Always. Or wait. Is it never? Right, right. Never.
to the first prospect (real, or made up like Dyson Blades), who plays LB and is described as "LOATHING contact."
"Kid has a crazy motor, nose for the ball, innate talent for taking the proper pursuit angle... but unfortnately turtles like Claude Lemiuex when it comes time to tackle. But seriously, dude looks ripped when he's OMGZ shirtless."
is funny. Plus one to you good sir.
I heard he was actually a 3* and pretty much BLOWS.
I also heard he spends a lot of time in the bathroom (if you know what I mean).
There's a lot more info about Dyson Blades
hurrr
your assessment is spot on
This is one of the best posts I've seen in some time.
I'll leave the 'why' up to you.
"measurable intangibles are off charts"
if you had figured out a scale with which to measure things that are not tangible, why would you chart them on a chart that doesn't include the range of data that you had just managed to measure? this sounds like poor data analysis to me. i think there's a feature in excel that can auto-correct the chart such that the measured intangibles will be within a chartable range.
I don't want anyone who's playing with babby's small balls. Ick.
Troll
He starts tackles just fine but can never really finish the job. His teammate has to finish wiping the ball carrier.
I believe him, yo. I don't know why, but I do.
First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.
Dyson Blades?
A prospect with the ability to make quick cuts in space in an effort to suck up the ballcarrier before he reaches the secondary.
*shifty eyes*
At sea level, 325 pounds isn't that impressive.
I heard on most of his tackle attempts he gets nothing but air
His form is atrocious. For some reason he only hits the wrists.
That he was a mix between a Dyson vacuum and former Detroit Lions Bennie Blades.
This guy would be perect in the locker room.
on the phone, STAT!
when I read that I pictured Commissioner Gordon's Office; and instead of just the Bat-phone, there are three other colored phones on his desk.
One is a shiny big blue one that of course goes straight to Tom V. (who I sincerely hope dwells in a luxurious, high tech cave)
There's a green one that automatically crank calls Dantonio at 3am and plays the Victors.
The last is a gaudy gold phone that dials the number of the fetid, naked leprechan that lives under Charlie Weis' bed. (often useful for recruiting)
Other than the Bat-phone there isn't a second red phone for Tressel because FUCK TRESSEL! thats why.
supposed to be one of the fastest in his class.
good form. 80% more efficient than other competitors.
scouts have said that while running, the air generated literally scrapes water droplets off. sounds really fast.
Wait wait...Measurable. Intangibles. Measurable. Intangibles.
Go eat a large, phallic object. Twice.
...get them.
He's the fastest LB – and he's a clean player, too, purifying the backfield before blowing them onto the ground. And because he vegan, he uses up to 80% less energy than other LBers, he costs less to run out onto the field and can lower a team's carbon footprint.
I hear his cousin, Dyson Ball, is a 3* slot receiver. Maybe we could work out some sort of package deal.
Indeed - he's extremely shifty and can change directions in tight spaces better than pretty much anyone -- a perfect fit for the spread option.
From a certain janitor:
Blades---I have the inside scoop on this guy---spend a lot of time with Mr. Blades---we are very close---very familiar with his technique---have seen a lot of players at this position---Blades is the best I've seen.
Overheard Rodriguez---said after taking a whiz---"this guy moves like the wind"---"Barwis won't even need to get his hands on him"
Says he might play for Michigan---or he might not---or he'll come to Michigan and play---or he might not.
Contact me for your super secret insiders power ring. (Ssshhhhh! It will be our little secret.)
I say we go for him simply because he sounds like he would be a character in Street fighter. Because of this, he can probably shoot fireballs from his hands, thus sacking quarterbacks.
Apparently his "benefactor" met with some OSU boosters last week and convinced him that Dyson should go with the Buckeyes. Dyson has known the benefactor for awhile, and even worked at his used car lot. Dyson's job was to replace the water cooler jug about once a week when it was empty, for which he earned about $5,000 per week in cash. After signing with OSU, Dyson was seen driving around the benefactor's new Corvette with a license plate reading "Much Fichigan" and a bumper sticker that said "University of Ohio State."
there was a recruit i heard about named Proliant Blades. maybe they're related.. he was supposed to be fast and versatile - the kind you could insert into any system and he'd be effective. he apparently had skills that would translate anywhere from a small school to the largest stage. i'm sure michigan has had at least some interest in this guy...
You know, it's funny this post should come up now. I know this guy from England, of all places, who has seen over 2,000 of Blades' games, although for some reason he called them "prototypes" (silly English lingo). He thinks Blades is the real deal. He never takes a play off--he didn't lose suction once the entire season last year.
This is a fake post. My research has uncovered that "Dyson Blades" actually refers to a TEAM (not a PERSON) in the Seniors' indoor soccer league in Miranda, Australia. New South Wales to be exact.
http://www.sportsworldindoor.com.au/sutherland/soccer/draws/seniors_wed…
It looks like they will beat "Obama 8" (which is a peculiar name for an Australian seniors' soccer team anyway, innit?) and make it to the playoffs.
GOTCHA! Nice try . . . but I know my soccer.
Also, GO GOOBS UNITED!!
OMG WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED! THOSE RAPSCALLIONS!
has single-handedly restored my faith in Michigan Football. I'm no Homer, but I predict 15-0 this year.
What's the point of this thread?
to look up products on the internet and then comment about them as if they were high school football recruits and see how long you can keep it going without everyone getting the joke... hmm. seemed much cooler before seeing it written out like that.
clavicle? I heard Dyson had trouble with it in his sophmore year.
I hear this guy blows them out of not only the BACKFIELD but also BATHROOM!