November 8th, 2022 at 4:38 PM ^
Or the University Of American Samoa
November 8th, 2022 at 5:08 PM ^
Is this really the first Saul Goodman reference?
Nicely done, regardless.
November 8th, 2022 at 5:58 PM ^
Why thank you
November 8th, 2022 at 8:01 PM ^
Cooley.
November 8th, 2022 at 9:32 PM ^
Cumong board, isn't the low hanging fruit here Staee's criminal justice program?
They are their own internship FFS.
November 8th, 2022 at 4:26 PM ^
probably Cooley LOL. They’re the largest law school in the country because they’ll accept anybody.
Edit: apparently he went to Southwest Law School which might be more cringe.
November 8th, 2022 at 2:57 PM ^
logged in for the Fiverr reference. An ex used Cameo to get Mankind from WWF/E to announce that she was pregnant. I really need to try to remember that those services exist the next time I have bad news to break to someone.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:47 PM ^
After reading the whole thing, I had to re-read the name of the attorney to make sure it wasn't Ligma Johnson or something like that.
My favorite part is when he brought up his own college experience at MSU.
November 8th, 2022 at 4:30 PM ^
He even re-released it with corrections and it still reads like a middle schooler wrote it. This dude is the gift that keeps on giving.
November 8th, 2022 at 4:41 PM ^
Whoa. Some really interesting choices there. Still went with palpitating, but removed the girlfriend part and called her a young lady. I'm fascinated.
November 8th, 2022 at 6:05 PM ^
His website claims "aggressive defense". However I seriously doubt his "testimony" and who knows what "investigation" he is referring to. Maybe he had a group chat with the MSU players involved and is labeling it his investigation. In any event, the sickening video showing a Michigan being struck by an MSU player swinging a helmet and being in concussion protocol and his talking about an alleged bad incident from 1995 suggests this fella might not be guy a truth teller.
November 8th, 2022 at 6:38 PM ^
Here's his investigation:
"Coach Izzo, what do you feel happened?"
"Johnny2z2z, what do you feel like happened?"
"Draymont, what does this feel like to you?"
So light on facts.
November 8th, 2022 at 6:46 PM ^
Different paragraph spacing, missing a period before the last sentence, extra spaces in sentences, and kept the palpitating silence. This guy is the best.
November 8th, 2022 at 6:53 PM ^
"The attorney continued to acknowledge" is so dumb. He means "The attorney also said" - you can't acknowledge something that's good for your client. You say it, or assert it if you insist on legalese.
(I'm assuming he wrote this whole press release.)
November 8th, 2022 at 7:33 PM ^
The silence is still palpitating, I see.
November 8th, 2022 at 2:54 PM ^
The my girlfriend part... hahahahahahahaha
November 8th, 2022 at 4:14 PM ^
I think this whole thing is a ruse to try to get into actual court discovery that this lawyer once had a girlfriend.
November 8th, 2022 at 8:21 PM ^
Why are you laughing?
Lennay Kekua wrote him every day and called on the weekends. She even wrote to him about the phlegm incident since he was on the other side of the arena,
November 8th, 2022 at 2:54 PM ^
I personally know about the moral superiority claims as I was a student at MSU in 1995 when my then girlfriend had a large cup of phlegm and saliva tossed at her by a UM basketball player
The absurdity of including this tells you all you need to know about 1) the quality of lawyer this guy is and 2) the odds this suit has any shot
November 8th, 2022 at 4:20 PM ^
michigan's lawyer springs from his chair. "the cup of phlegm is HEARSAY, YOUR HONOR!"
the judge considers this. "good point. mr diamond, can you produce the witness?"
diamond looks at his manure-stained shoes. "i can't," he mumbles. "you wouldn't know her. she lives in canada."
November 8th, 2022 at 9:34 PM ^
I heard her name is Lennay Kekua.
November 8th, 2022 at 6:43 PM ^
There was a second spitter.
November 8th, 2022 at 2:56 PM ^
That reads like an aggrieved asshat aggrieving himself. I mean, it's so full of ridiculous finger pointing that it doesn't even deserve a response. There is no offer of proof, only aggrieved hate speech barely disguised by a lawyer.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:26 PM ^
All true on your part. But you do realize that literally every MSU slappy in the state (they're arent any outside of Michigan) will use this as PROOF the beloved and unfairly accused Spartans are INNOCENT!!!!!!!
I mean watch. You guys are now in for a bunch of "see, I told you the Michigan players started things" from every MSU person you know.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:47 PM ^
The few Sparty buddies I have that have seen this are not that impressed with it.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:56 PM ^
For my part, I'm happy for Gemon and Jayden that this is the sort of representation on the other side. I can endure MSU-types being idiots with me, if it helps our young men get proper justice and compensation.
November 8th, 2022 at 4:30 PM ^
The unreasonable RCMB type fans will/are acting this way. My Sparty friends are disgusted. Two are thinking about rooting for Minnesota now.
November 8th, 2022 at 4:31 PM ^
MGrow, you are correct.
Have already seen some links to articles about this from Sparty slappies on the socials.
Michigan grads/fans who live elsewhere have no idea what it's like living here among the delusion that emanates from Sparty.
They thought that they had finally taken ownership of the state during the Dantonio-RichRod/Hoke years.
Now that Harbaugh has turned the tide on the rivalry, they are reminded that they are, indeed, second fiddle to Michigan both in the state and around the country.
They thought that winning games would make them "Big Brother," while not realizing that being "Little Brother" has nothing to do with wins and losses. It's a mindset.
This inferiority drives almost all of this nonsense.
November 8th, 2022 at 9:36 PM ^
Michigan grads/fans who live elsewhere have no idea what it's like living here among the delusion that emanates from Sparty.
Prob not the same concertation as Michigan but there's enough of them along the Front Range now that they're insufferable here too.
November 8th, 2022 at 6:58 PM ^
If you head over to RCMB to read their thread, their reaction (mostly) parallels the approach here:
- Screech reference
- Pointing out it could have been written by RCMB posters
- David Lee Roth reference
- Noting Devon misspelling (and taking it further by comparing it to Kork Coupons)
They even hypothesized that perhaps the letter was written by UM undergrads and Solari got scammed.
On balance, a lot more sane than crazy (which is likely the same proportion as in the fanbase as mentioned in other posts).
November 8th, 2022 at 2:57 PM ^
Who is supposed to take an attorney who uses the phrases "coach and master victim and his howls at the moon" and "hail to the victims" seriously? I'm sure they have incredibly reliable eyewitnesses. This is pathetic.
Edit: Also "the silence was palpitating"? I assume he means palpable. What a joke.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:49 PM ^
That caught my eye and I had to Google it because I thought it was an idiom I'd never heard before.
November 8th, 2022 at 9:37 PM ^
I heard you can palpitating any mammal.
November 8th, 2022 at 2:57 PM ^
Good god, this really is cult like circle the wagons behavior. What the hell does an a story from like 30 years ago have to do with anything besides the names of the schools.
November 8th, 2022 at 2:58 PM ^
It reads like this was all pulled from comments on the red cedar message board with the language cleaned up to make it more intelligible.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:04 PM ^
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
November 8th, 2022 at 3:16 PM ^
It's literally a mash up of the rcmb echo-chamber talking points. Oh, and as a not so bright attorney myself, I have a nose for my own. This guy is a moran.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:19 PM ^
No, it says right at the beginning this stems from “A investigation”!
November 8th, 2022 at 2:58 PM ^
I've seen more eloquence at a Trump rally.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:00 PM ^
"devon bush"
November 8th, 2022 at 3:08 PM ^
He clearly meant Warren Devon and his song about a bushy Werewolves of London. Wolverines, Warewolves, easy to confuse the two.
November 8th, 2022 at 4:47 PM ^
Or perhaps he was referring to Warren Devon's "lawyers, guns & money"
November 8th, 2022 at 3:01 PM ^
silence was palpitating
WTF does that mean?
criminally charge Coach Howard
Didn't realize Ann Arbor had jurisdiction in Madison
Devon Bush with felony vandalism
Alright, we've jumped the shark here. It's now clear this is satire, right?
November 8th, 2022 at 11:27 PM ^
Palpitating was just in the romance novel he was reading so he looked it up.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:03 PM ^
What law school did this clown go to?
November 8th, 2022 at 3:13 PM ^
November 8th, 2022 at 3:19 PM ^
Dean's list at msu makes sense.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:46 PM ^
This is all very, very funny.
November 8th, 2022 at 3:47 PM ^
He doesn’t list Michigan as one of his admitted jurisdictions. SBM doesn’t have him. Weird choice over millions of -er, thousands of capable MI crim lawyers.
Maybe it’s pro bono? That makes the most sense, in a ‘you get what you pay for’ way.
November 8th, 2022 at 4:24 PM ^
Even pro bono, having him as your lawyer is going to cost a lot.