5 Questions For You
Mates,
This place is a band of misfit toys with symbolic 'Christmas' still a long 51 days away. In the meantime, further psychological study needs to be done on you all. With the help of leading agencies, governmental experts, mental health specialists and a rubick's cube, these 5 questions have been formulated. You are requested to answer the following:
1. You live in an area that requires your house to be either maize or blue. Which one do you pick?
2. The best people watching is done at an airport, a stadium, a concert or [fill in the blank]? Why?
3. What does a man do on two legs, a dog do on 3 legs, and a woman sitting down?
4. *Who do you pick to win a fight: Ditka, or a hurricane, but the hurricane is named Ditka?
5. Name the best qualities of your significant other.
Your responses will be compiled, pie charts will be produced, and psychologists all over the world will be frightened.
XM
*Credit to mgobrother L'Carpeton Dookmarriot who posed this question in Alex's thread. It is an important topic that needs to be discussed.
1. Blue
2. Airport. It's not even close. Although, I did go to the very last Grateful Dead concert with Jerry Garcia and that was quite the people-watching show.
3. What?!
4. Trick question. Ditka is a hurricane
5. She has low standards, which is why I got her
Is this a psych profile to become a CIA assassin? If so, I'm in.
1. Blue.
2. A sidewalk cafe.
3. Pee.
4. Rubin "Hurricane" Carter.
5. I'm single, but my last girlfriend was a toxic psychopathic narcissist. I do miss the freaky sex though, so that I guess.
clarence, you will be notified when we need that assassin. there is a certain robocop that is gumming up the works...
Though now I'm very happily partnered with a freaky woman who is non-toxic and not at all a psychopathic narcissist, for years dealt with #5. So hang in there.
She messed with my head but good.
"toxic psychopathic narcissist" - Damn!
I have a feeling that means she is very, very fun at parties.
You will fall in love with a police officer. I know it!
- Blue
- Airport. I was once at Frankfurt airport and I felt I was at the gate to the pearly heavens, every langue in the world spoken and every color under the sun in one place.
- Pee
- Ditka (how is this even up for debate)
- Manti Te'o dated her first
re #5 - an oldie but a goodie
1. Maize
2. Concert, because it’s fascinating to think “YOU came to THIS show?” and/or “You wore THAT to this show?” Case in point—I saw a guy that looked 70 at a Ghost concert, wearing a sport coat and a tie.
3. Pee, but female dogs don’t pee on 3 legs
4. Is Ditka full-sized, or is he Mini Ditka?
5. Not only does she understand I have to watch every Michigan football game, she facilitates it. She’s a bit on the earthy side, so she saged the family room at halftime of the OSU game.
I went to a Tigers game when Taylor Swift was in town and I saw a guy in the T Swift merch line who looked like if Ted Cruz got a hippie girlfriend. I found it pretty amusing.
She’s a bit on the earthy side, so she saged the family room at halftime of the OSU game
This makes my heart feel full.
i'm almost afraid to ask, but what does it mean to 'sage' a room?
It's nothing sordid: burning sage. It's a woo thing that is supposed to remove bad spirits or energy from an area. There's a "happy hippy girlfriend" stereotype that you may expect to do this to the home she's moving into or, in this case, to help her partner's football team perform better.
Had a hippy girlfriend like that once. 5’1” and about 95 lbs.
odd she was a hippy because parents were farmers who hunted for most of their meat.
relationship lasted about 2 months but man, it was a phenomenal 2 months. got along great. broke up on good terms.
1. Blue
2. Boat ramp
3. #2
4. Ditka
5. Willing to live with me.
#2 standing up, eh?
Who does #2 work for!
Pictures or it didn't happen.
NO. No pictures.
1. Blue w/Maize trim
2. The Toilet Bowl in Columbus (definitely feel better about our fan base after seeing that catastrophe)
3.Shake Hands
4. Easy - I'm fighting Ditka in the middle of a hurricane named Ditka
5. Easily impressed with low standards - why else would she stay married to me for 20+ years
1. Maize
2. Airport. You get to see the true patience a parent has with little kids. You also get to see people's clothing choices based on their destination.
3. A whole bunch of NSFW stuff, so I'll leave that be since I'm in the office.
4. Hurricane.
5. She sees the best in everybody.
1. My house is painted slate blue.
2. IMO, the best people watching is at an outdoor cafe in a pedestrian-friendly big city. Back in the day, malls were great for that, too.
3. YOU'RE IN 8! Though I dated a girl who was an avid backcountry backpacker and she could pee standing up just as well as a guy by pulling her shorts down and tilting her hips back and letting it rip. No coincidence her kegels were strong AF.
4. Mother Nature always wins.
5. Kind, great sense of humor, all animals love her at the first meeting, highly skilled and dedicated to her chosen profession, sexy AF, always willing to learn new things and to reconsider things she thought she knew. (Also see my response to Clarence Boddicker.) She’s definitely a keeper.
#2 - At a mall, preferably near the Hot Topic
I'd participate but I know that this is just your sneaky way of getting all of our user names and passwords for our bank accounts!
i already have yours. i used a combination of hacking, email tracking, DNA sampling and an email to the editorial staff. i also re-routed your HTTV and T-shirt to my place. you're a mensch to be so generous.
Right XM, because my go to password is: BlueAirportShakeHandsDitkaNoTeeth
Nah, for passwords - you need numbers and special characters for most sites these days. 😉
1. Blue
2. Wal-Mart
3. Poop in a Cooler
4. Chuck Norris
5. She puts up with my fandom, and the fact that our kids are fully on board with M. (She is a PSU grad)
He should have clarified on #3.
*Ohio excluded
1) If it's the dark navy of Michigan, i go with Maize. I like my house to be bright and cheery
2) A busy but not super crowded downtown/main street. Of the options you suggested I'd pick an airport - a wider slice of humanity that are all going in different directions. At a stadium and concert, everyone is something of a fan of the main action and focused on that. The only thing with an airport is people can be stressed there. But at a downtown, you'll get a mix of commuters, leisurely shoppers, and people running errands.
3) urinate
4) hurricane
5) she's one of the toughest people i know. she's beautiful, driven, smart, an amazing dancer, incredibly sweet and loving, listens to feedback. And even, grudgingly, supports our toddler being brainwashed into Michigan football.
1. You live in an area that requires your house to be either maize or blue. Which one do you pick?
I think I would choose blue. Maize is a little bold for my tastes, though it's neck and neck for me.
2. The best people watching is done at an airport, a stadium, a concert or [fill in the blank]? Why?
A bar when some kind of activity is going on. I recently started hosting bar trivia and bingo and it's fascinating watching how people think, discuss, pore over their bingo cards, etc.
3. What does a man do on two legs, a dog do on 3 legs, and a woman sitting down?
The obvious answer is piss, so I'm gonna say scratch ourselves.
4. *Who do you pick to win a fight: Ditka, or a hurricane, but the hurricane is named Ditka?
A hurricane. Mike Ditka is ancient and had a heart attack while golfing like five years ago. I would pick a stiff breeze over him.
5. Name the best qualities of your significant other.
Infinitely supportive, excellent reading partner, spicy sense of humor
1. Blue, but either way would be ok with it.
2. Sidewalk cafe / restaurant in a big city. You see a good amount of people but it's changing up so it's not a fixed set over the time you're there. Also great for dog-watching.
3. I'm terrible at math, but when I added the man's (2) legs + the dog's (3) + the woman's , somehow I arrived at 45-23?
4. Hurricane, real Ditka sucks who cares.
5. I just started dating her but she's hot, funny, smart and interesting and has the biggest... knowledge... I've ever seen.
1. Blue
2. Concert - especially festival-style. Amazing mix of geezers like me and youngsters at a recent Depeche Mode show.
3. You're an 8.
4. Depends on whether over water or over land. Ditka crushes all takers out on the field. but over water, i suspect he'd have footing issues.
5. She puts up with me, and saw through my BS in the first 30 minutes when we met...even after i announced to all within earshot that I intended to marry her some day.
1. You live in an area that requires your house to be either maize or blue. Which one do you pick? Blue, just like my Michigan hoodie
2. The best people watching is done at an airport, a stadium, a concert or [fill in the blank]? Why? Out my front window...Why? Because I'm old and I watch the weather and try to keep intruders off my lawn
3. What does a man do on two legs, a dog do on 3 legs, and a woman sitting down? Tricky but I'll go with...Complain about our downfield passing game?
4. *Who do you pick to win a fight: Ditka, or a hurricane, but the hurricane is named Ditka? Less tricky...Ditka beats weather and opponents...even though Ricky (Williams) ran away to get high
5. Name the best qualities of your significant other. My wife of 26 years is genuinely the kindest, least critical, most positive and joyful person that I've ever met. I'm blessed that she puts up with me and my million fatal flaws.
1. Blue
2. Gunnison Beach, NJ
3. Urination.*
4. Mike Ditka. John Wick and Chuck Norris give Mike a wide berth.
5. Patience.
*Note: some folks have claimed that female dogs don't pee on 3 legs. I'm here to tell you this is false. 'Dora' our ancient Beagle lifts her one hind leg to pee.
I was going to say anyplace in Jersey, but especially the Wildwood boardwalk.
1) Blue. I don't want my dwelling surrounded by flower hunting bees 24/7.
2) I just went to the Post Malone show. Concerts, 100%. Concerts is where people show their true colors and horrible singing aptitude (which is hilarious).
3) Piss.
4) Ditka's mustache will beat that hurricanes arse.
5) Smart, Caring, Beautiful AND she let's me do.....things.
the agencies involved were particularly concerned about your psych profile, for obvious reasons....
the commander of our bureau of investigation was an absolute bad-a*&. former marine sergeant, korean war vet, black belt in judo, former street cop in a tough varrio area. i could tell you some stories about him.
You wouldn't then have to kill us, would you?
1. Blue. Someone already has Maize covered and we like to mix it up.
2. Ann Arbor Art Fair
3. Look distinguished.
4. Big Ditka or a tiny Ditka?
5. Patience. I'm a handful.
1. Definitely blue. I don't like yellow (or yellow adjacent).
2. Of the choices mentioned (ignoring fill-in-the-blank), it's airport. If there's alternative entertainment, I can't even focus on other people.
3. If my wife and I are a good example, watching a football game with a 3-legged dog.
4. Lawrence Taylor
5. Numerous. But the first that popped into my head is her ability to show up when she says she's going to show up. Even if she's exhausted or sick, when she makes a commitment, she follows through.
Love #3. So very true!
- The house is blue, but the trim is maize.
- DMV. Its a great leveler.
- Think
- Drunk Ditka. Who else tries to fight a hurricane?
- She is better than me in every way.
1. Blue
2. Airport by a mile
3. Pee
4. Ditka
5. Where do I start? She's funny, kind, giving, smart, loves animals (both inside and outside ones), birds, children, me, she makes me a MUCH better person, she loves football, fishing, sci-fi movies, martinis, travel. Loves to do crossword and jigsaw puzzels, loves surprises, loves to guess (which can sometimes make telling a story an adventure cause she's always trying to guess what I'm going to say next) and thinks your birthday is a VERY, VERY BIG DEAL so if you're in her circle you always get a party thrown for you. She's an absolute amazing mom, loves to cook and she keeps our house cleaner than most operating rooms. She knows how to juggle (see my lemon video on YouTube for proof) and makes sure that my diet is chock-full of every possible cancer-fighting food, spice and nutrient she can find.
Oh, and she's drop-dead gorgeous and loves Michigan too! Why this incredible women cares anything about me is one of life's greatest mysteries that's for damn sure.
Wow, and all this time I thought that she was a stick figure…
Great answers about your wonderful bride. Love to read it.