Unverified Voracity Braces for Rawk
They are coming. Hide the mascara. I'm still waiting for the last few survey responses to roll in but, man, people hate In The Big House. This may be an effect of this blog's readership but with the vast bulk of the responses coming from the 22-34 range I'm guessing the results would not be good amongst the much older general population.
So, like, what to do about this?
That is a show at the Blind Pig the day before the Nebraska game in November. If this is a prelude to these guys showing up inside Michigan Stadium I think my head might explode. The only consolation would the groomers getting an Ashlee Simpson reception.
HIRE THESE PEOPLE NOW. So. We have the dog groomers above inflicting their terrible garbage on Michigan Stadium, and then there's Minnesota. Land of misery and no money and people who know what they're doing when it comes to internet videos that transcend irony. Go ahead, watch this with your jaundiced eye. You'll give up your cynicism about 30 seconds in when Goldy Gopher spins his head 360 degrees:
So… I'm just saying… we should fire the entire marketing department and replace them with whoever did that. This is in no way a joke.
GODDAMMIT AGE OF IRONY. I can't even say "this is in no way a joke" without it seeming like an ironic joke. It is not.
Good times. News that the God Hates Figs lunatics will be picketing Ohio State brings back nostalgia for that one time when I was an undergraduate and they hit up Michigan for some fake outrage or another. Tactical error: holding up "M = figs" signs while wearing Kansas City Chiefs jackets. At the time, KC's quarterback was Elvis Grbac and #1 WR Derrick Alexander. A fig to fig connection, as it were, which we loudly let them know about.
Unfortunately for OSU fans, the only Buckeye on the Chiefs' roster is backup DB Donald Washington, so they'll have to come up with something else. Just pretend they're Michigan fans and you'll do fine.
Speaking of. This popped up on the tubes recently. It is an anti-anti-gay PSA that you, the wine-and-cheese-consuming Michigan fan, will be hectored with at some point in the near future:
So that's settled then. No one is ever going to say something inappropriate again. This is all your fault, double-bird guy.
Hey, good point. Taylor Lewan hasn't had a false start/holding meltdown yet, so that's cool:
This year, that has been a point of emphasis. The result?
Zero penalties through four games.
"I'm due, aren't I?" Lewan said, laughing. "I've definitely noticed that. I've been very cautious about penalties. I'm not ever going to let up, just got to be smart. Got to be a smarter player."
What's more, Lewan hasn't even been close to a holding penalty that I've seen. He's been a dominant run blocker and hasn't picked up a pass minus. He's a third of the way to All Big Ten.
You have a Nard dog? Wait, what?
That's our Nard Dog. Thomas Nardo, Iowa's newfound starter at defensive tackle and owner of the porn-iest name in the starting lineup with Shane DiBona on the sidelines, was named the Big Ten's Defensive Player of the Week for his efforts against Louisiana-Monroe on Saturday. Nardo had himself a pretty monster day for a defensive tackle: 12 tackles, 2.0 TFL, and 0.5 sacks. He doesn't do much to help our problems keeping contain on the outside, but he's exactly the sort of plugger we need to keep from getting gashed up the middle.
This aggression will not stand, Iowa. There can only be one Nard Dog. Shotguns at noon on November fifth to settle it.
More relevantly: this Nardo kid is a fifth-year senior walk-on (sounds familiar) who "won't make anyone forget" a half-dozen Iowa DTs of the recent past but is offering "solidity to an Iowa defensive line that was looking woefully porous earlier in the year." Which… whoah. Iowa suddenly has Michigan's defensive personnel?
Apparently they also have a bomber already on par with Stanzi, so don't chalk that win up just yet. Not that any Michigan fan is chalking up a win against a Big Ten team not named Minnesota.
Stick, baby. Fresh hockey commitment Jacob Trouba is a big deal, like top-half-of-the-first round big deal, and unfortunately these days that means his commitment will be questioned until he shows up on campus. He's even been drafted by one of the more convincing OHL programs, and by "more convincing" I mean "freer with under the table payments."
Anyway. Through no fault of his own, Trouba has the profile of a flight risk. Therefore he gets to answer questions about it whenever he's interviewed. An example:
I asked if Michigan fans have a reason to feel confident that they would see him wearing Maize and Blue next year.
"Yeah they do, I'm a Michigan Wolverine," he stated, "That's why I wanted to wait this long; just so I knew, I didn't want my mind to change over a year and I really wanted to know what I wanted to do next year. I wanted to wait because I didn't want to back out on any decisions, I wanted to stick with my word. I waited until I was sure with what I wanted to do."
Prominent CHL defections usually occur because the player in question is tired of cooling his heels in a lesser league, especially Canadian Junior B. (FWIW, AHL equivalencies imply the USHL is not much worse than the CHL, if it is at all anymore.) Once a kid is locked into his final year before he'd be in college he's usually set. John Gibson is a prominent exception to that, but he was staring down a platoon (at best) with Tiny Jesus. Trouba has no such concerns since he'll probably slot right into the top pairing a la Merrill, and he's got no reason to make a college commitment after he's already been drafted by one of the league's Lane Kiffins.
So… I don't think he'll bolt. If he sticks he makes Michigan's 2012 class pretty impressive. F Boo Nieves is frequently projected as a late first-rounder. D Michael Downing was the third pick of the USHL Futures Draft and was the captain of the U17 5 Nations team. D Connor Carrick is on the NTDP and Michigan took him pretty early. Still need a goalie. Who wants to play behind Trouba? Bueller?
BONUS: While w'ere talking hockey, Michigan Hockey Net and local MGoUser Yesman221 have season previews. (Yesman is a a bit conservative with freshman deployment, FWIW.) There won't be one forthcoming from me due to football season, but Ace might have an official one.
Full cost, sort of. It sounds like the NCAA will bump scholarship awards:
A committee weighing a number of potential changes is expected to recommend that the value of individual scholarships be raised by as much as $2,000 in the top-tier Division I, moving them closer to covering the athletes' full cost of attending school. Full grants currently cover only room, board, books and tuition.
The proposal covers the gap between "full cost of attendance" and the current scholarships as long as that is less than 2k. A step in the right direction. There's also a push to allow multi-year scholarship awards, except it's apparently a push to better market the current system:
Multi-year scholarships also are seen as an athlete-welfare issue, and Swarbrick said his committee favors that proposal even though it might not bring athletes the security many expect.
"The process for nonrenewal of an annual grant probably would look just like the process for terminating a four-year grant," he told ADs. "… But we did think the statement that would be made about our commitment to student-athletes was worth doing and made this a change worth pursuing."
So… he'd like to make a statement about committing to student athletes without actually committing to student athletes. The NCAA has always been at war with the English language.
Etc.: Why Wisconsin is a parasite. Via EDSBS, Les Miles's head on wrestler's bodies. The Octonion dissolves. Hipsters and Denard Robinson.
September 29th, 2011 at 1:44 PM ^
Wisconsin fans would get tired of shitty early season match ups. $70 to watch them crush Austin Pea or whoever it was last year was laughable/unwatchable/boring as all hell.
September 29th, 2011 at 1:46 PM ^
Alright! Sexual Chocolate!! I named my fantasy baseball team after them.
September 29th, 2011 at 1:48 PM ^
My name is moleskyn, and I support all snide remarks directed toward Westboro Baptist Church.
It's an embarrassment to Christianity.
September 29th, 2011 at 2:31 PM ^
WBC is not just an embarrassment to christianity but they are an embarrassment to humanity.
September 29th, 2011 at 1:55 PM ^
So the lesson is that if someone says something you don't like, it's cool to bean him in the head with a football? Nice message.
Seriously, I would rather have "Curly," the friendly Arby's fries mascot, on the sideline at every game than be subjected to self-righteous PC videos.
Of course, I'll be outside the stadium panhandling anyway so I guess it doesn't really matter...
September 29th, 2011 at 2:47 PM ^
that's all you got out of the PSA? cmon man.
September 29th, 2011 at 3:18 PM ^
Well, yes. The entire video pretty much revolves around this idea: The equivalent of a dude saying "Let us defeat our opponents, who are less manly than we are" during an informal game of pickup is no longer to be considered juvenile schoolyard taunting (whatever you may think of it is beside the point) but is now "anti-gay" and instead grounds for violent opprobrium.
It's difficult to take the (self-appointed) High Priests of Tolerance at their word when their underlying message, however "joking," so often seems to suggest that violent behavior is the appropriate response to people saying or even thinking things they don't like.
But it's not appropriate. It's not cool. It's not funny. And it's become very tiresome to be surrounded by a bunch of humorless, self-righteous a-holes who think God put them on earth to enforce (emphasis on the "force") what they believe to be the "correct" speech and attitudes on everyone around them in the name of "tolerance." I'm sure I'll get some of that tolerant flaming directed my way for saying this, but so be it.
And as for the Westboro Baptist "Church" crowd, people should quit paying attention to them as it only invites their own brand of boorish behavior. They're trying to get attention by being jerks and, hey, guess what, it works every time. The better course of action is to ignore them rather than encourage them.
September 29th, 2011 at 3:59 PM ^
The other alternative to ignoring Westboro is, of course, hilarious signs...
September 29th, 2011 at 4:26 PM ^
"I Have A Sign" is awesome.
September 29th, 2011 at 4:13 PM ^
ignore
September 29th, 2011 at 4:11 PM ^
It would seem that you're the target audience for the PSA, then.
I don't think it's aimed at hardcore homophobes, but at people who casually, without thinking, are going to throw out a word or phrase that could offend someone.
Using "queer" or "fag" as an insult implies that being gay is inherently insulting.
The intent isn't to paint anyone who utters one of these terms as a bigot, but to let people know that they can unwittingly say something that hurts another. We can all agree that's better, right?
September 29th, 2011 at 4:56 PM ^
I understand your point, but I don't think it negates a word I wrote in my previous comment. And in case it wasn't clear, the way to let someone know he has unwittingly said something that may hurt someone else's feelings is not to throw a football at his head.
September 29th, 2011 at 6:34 PM ^
stop being such a breeder
September 29th, 2011 at 7:54 PM ^
Aw, if only there were women out there who were a bit more open-minded, you know? They find out I'm a hobo, and it's like I got the plague or something.
September 29th, 2011 at 4:14 PM ^
PSA's are not targeted at everyone in the stadium. Yeah, they might annoy some people for being preachy, but that's exactly the point they're trying to make. And in order to make that point, it's really hard to hit just the right tone without sounding preachy but still be taken seriously.
Whether people want to hear it or not, gay rights is the next (and even current) frontier of real pivotal civil rights in this country. Some of these deragatory words don't matter to young kids out there, and sadly even a lot of adults. I couldn't be happier that University is willing to take a stance to try and curb some of this behavior. The same goes with some of the messages that pop up in the NBA, since we all know sports is where this ignorance persists.
So yeah, maybe it will be boring or preachy or annoying to listen to some poorly cut message for 30 seconds at a football game where we go to escape, but just take a moment to appreciate the message it is trying to get across.
September 29th, 2011 at 7:46 PM ^
It's actually a pretty interesting juxtaposition of issues in this thread because the proponents of both issues are actually doing the same thing (just to different degrees): trying to force their subjective version of morality upon other people.
September 29th, 2011 at 7:53 PM ^
It's more like there's some people who would prefer to just watch a football game without the stadium's scoreboard being turned into a hectoring telescreen. The bastards!
September 29th, 2011 at 8:34 PM ^
It's OK to ostracize and throw things at people, as long as they are different. That's the point, dummy!
September 29th, 2011 at 11:37 PM ^
In such situations, I pretty much ask WWSHD?
And it definitely involves chucking something at somebody's head not just for thinking differently from me, but for being evil scum!
September 29th, 2011 at 1:56 PM ^
The oversized head with the big, goofy grin just screams "child molester at a little kids birthday party". And the head doing a 360 only seems to confirm the creepiness.
September 29th, 2011 at 1:57 PM ^
It may transcend irony, but it still blows.
September 29th, 2011 at 6:49 PM ^
But that gopher video sucked balls.
September 29th, 2011 at 2:10 PM ^
This might be seen as nit picking, but the "God Hates Figs" folks are the ones who conduct the counter protests when the Westboro Baptist Church shows up to protest (GHF is mocking WBC with the whole thing about figs). The link is about WBC picketing Ohio State, not about GHF protesting Ohio State (although, obviously, with WBC showing up, GHF will also like show up). I just had to ask because the way Brian wrote it appears to suggest that he takes issue with GHF, as opposed to WBC (i.e. by saying "the God Hates Figs lunatics" as opposed to "the Westoboro Baptist Church lunatics"...), and I have a feeling that's a sentiment that he may not want attached to his views.
September 29th, 2011 at 2:12 PM ^
I'm so glad we have a Michigan themed rock song by some truly gnarly looking dudes. It should create more brand awareness and encourage children to become lifelong Wolverine fans, increasing our tiny fanbase. Because people do not pay attention to a football team without catchy rock music and fuzzy mascots.
September 29th, 2011 at 2:22 PM ^
Brian,
Is there any chance that you can pass forward the survey results to someone in the athletic department. With mgoblog's clout, you'd think it would count for something.
September 29th, 2011 at 2:29 PM ^
Not sure, but I would be VERY suspect of an all male touch football team wearing yellow bibs and over celebrating the way in which they did. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
September 29th, 2011 at 2:32 PM ^
Putting aside the fact this guy's a total meathead . . . it's kind of funny how arbitrary our society's standards are. In that screencap, you see many people raising a finger to the camera. Most are raising their index finger, so that's "acceptable". But one guy is raising the middle finger, which is "unacceptable." Why is that particular finger "bad"? There's no rational explanation.
September 29th, 2011 at 6:35 PM ^
the middle finger is the gay finger
September 29th, 2011 at 2:40 PM ^
Why do we need PSAs at football games now, especially about being PC. Bunch of crap.
September 29th, 2011 at 2:57 PM ^
It's going to be such a waste of 30 seconds of your life. Completely unlike the time it took to type your comment.
I know, they could play a 30 second clip of Pop Evil's "In the Big House" instead!
September 29th, 2011 at 3:12 PM ^
It's a shame those are the only two things in the world that could be possibly be played during a 30-second interruption.
September 29th, 2011 at 3:02 PM ^
Please tell me this is real. I just died laughing hahahaaa I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person.
September 29th, 2011 at 7:27 PM ^
this could be from Saturday Night Live. C'mon people its a football game, not a educational function.
Go Blue!
September 29th, 2011 at 3:25 PM ^
Is the amount of angst that Michigan fans have about the music selections for the Big House unique to the Wolverine fan base, particularly a certain subset that read a certain blog, or is this condition something that is prevalent throughout college football?
September 29th, 2011 at 4:03 PM ^
I think its pretty widespread at Penn State as well (of course, their stadium has been turned into the full on minor league baseball experience, what with the lion roar and zombie nation/seven nation army on endless repeat).
And the thought of a video scoreboard gives ND fans the vapors.
Both those indicate that it's probably among fanbases that exault "tradition" that these issues have the greatest purchase. Probably not too much of a concern at Boise.
September 29th, 2011 at 4:20 PM ^
Some time during the Rose Bowl in 2005 I heard something about Texas fans going ballistic when their marching band played something that wasn't traditional for them... and the rumor was about halftime, not even the pregame show.
September 29th, 2011 at 4:45 PM ^
They must have played something other than "I've Been Working on the Railroad."
September 29th, 2011 at 4:52 PM ^
...someone has hacked into the Pop Evil vid on youtube b/c I get an error message while other youtube vids play fine.
mgohacked, bitches!
September 29th, 2011 at 4:54 PM ^
Also at Wings game on Sunday. Song was Last Man Standing. Are the Tigers next.....?....?
September 29th, 2011 at 4:55 PM ^
The people that are doing all the PSA's that you keep seeing is a film group of students a friend of mine helped start. They are all juniors at michigan, I think they are pretty impressive for a student film group.
September 29th, 2011 at 5:03 PM ^
Let us know when they make a kick-ass zombie movie.
September 29th, 2011 at 6:36 PM ^
the zombies eat the homophobe
September 29th, 2011 at 8:44 PM ^
Queers..
<br>
<br>Oh wait..
<br>
<br>Some dbag SAC kids told me not to say it that way.
<br>
<br>Homosexuals who I respect in your life choices .
September 29th, 2011 at 7:14 PM ^
Anybody else find the PSA shamelessly racist?
September 29th, 2011 at 9:13 PM ^
Um, no.
September 29th, 2011 at 7:29 PM ^
the end of this thread just became hilarious !!! +1 to you mgousers!
Go Blue!
September 29th, 2011 at 8:29 PM ^
Proof positive that Nickelback's dog groomers will be doing a live show... In The Big House, as it were.
September 29th, 2011 at 8:50 PM ^
No one's going to talk about Les "The Animal" Steele, huh?
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