OT: Autograph session turns into (figurative) dong punch
So, last night was opening day for the minor league affiliate of the Tampa Bay Rays. Cal Ripken Jr. owns the team and was scheduled to make an appearance.
I live 15 minutes from the ballpark, so a buddy and me got to the stadium two and a half hours early to meet Ripken. My buddy is a huge Orioles fan, and I wasn't going to turn down a chance to see the legend.
Ripken came out beforehand and was signing. He signed hundreds of things and finally got down to me. He took my baseball and inked a perfect signature. It looked sweet, for about 30 seconds.
People jostling for position behind me started bumping the people in the front row. Well, the impact caused me to get knocked forward, smearing my perfect autograph.
Now, only the Cal part is even legible, and that is smudged somewhat as well.
I was surrounded by dealers and it was frustrating that they were going home and putting the shit on ebay (they told me) and I wanted to save this momento.
Nevertheless, I put the autograph in a case, and proudly displayed it. I will try again to get a Ripken sig that doesn't smear, but for now, I guess my smeared version will make a good story.
I was hoping for the literal kind because it always makes me laugh, but your figurative dong punch is just sad.
April 10th, 2010 at 10:18 AM ^
Cal Ripken walked up and punched him in the dong, and then yelled "You just got Punked" or something?
That's a crap deal, man. Hopefully you're able to get another one that doesn't end up getting smeared. You should've dong punched the assholes pushin on you.
My brother and I got Reggie Jackson signed baseballs and pictures through my dad - who met him in business meetings because he was involved in shutting down some of Reggie's car dealerships. He said that, in light of Reggie's situation (he had recently lost a lot in some CA forest fires), he was extremely nice and classy. A bit of an autograph-related dong punch for him, though.
... does not sound like alot of fun
Sorry to hear about that. How much are the base balls going for on E-bay? I could never go to one of those things, I have that phobia of crowds (or just pure sycho rage). Well maybe next time.
Dealers suck. I have watched 10 year old kids in the parking lot approach an athlete and then walk over the signed article and get a ten spot from some dealer who sent him.
The two guys I was sandwiched between had about four or five people each spread down the line.
They weren't the ones that knocked me forward, but after hearing their stories about how they do this all the time, I wanted to tell them to get lost.
To answer your question Gunnersape, they will probably get $50 to $60 for a baseball on ebay.
The asshole next to me was trying to pay the TV reporter (one of my other media friends) to get extra things signed since the reporter was walking with Cal the whole time.
My wife buys me autographed stuff for my "cave" and I'm sure its from some of these same kind of fuck-tards, again sorry for your inconvenience, that kind of shit really bugs me.
they're still not AS bad as fucktards like my cousin who would fake the autograph, print out a bs certificate off of his printer and charge $100+ for whatever athlete's signature was popular at the time bc of the news cycle.
Sports Memorabilia dealers = Prostitutes/Freep Writers
Hey man prostitutes don't deserve to be called Freep writers
I've had things like that happen before... and nothing worse than getting your hopes up like that and then having them ruined by some guys trying to sell that stuff... I like you collect to collect and display in my "mancave". Good luck in your quest to get it again.
If it makes you feel any better Cal sucked anyway.
Do yourself a favor. Make sure your kids know that Cal isn't just some state, or worse, some lady. If they steal that ball to play a game, they might end up needing PF Flyers to break into the yard of the BEAST, and PF's are just tough to find these days.
The Sandlot, good movie, too many sequels.
You're killing me, Smalls!
Just tell people that Cal has a really smudgy signature and that yours is the only authentic one out there.
I thought there might be an actual dong punch involved. Like maybe you and Joe Paterno got into it and he cup checked you.
Ripken signed two baseballs for my kids some years ago. He was very gracious and made us feel like it was his pleasure to sign them for us. He's an incredibly classy guy.
He signed for hundreds of people, and took his time on each signature.
He wrote out his name real nice on my baseball and then blew on the ink to dry it before he gave it back. I will try again when he makes a return trip.
Smudge or not, I'm glad you're keeping that baseball in a special place. Ours are in a shadow box on the den wall.
Dong punch is the new snake oil.
I don't know if I would bother signing autographs if I was a celebrity, not knowing if that time you took out of your day was going to end up putting money in the pocket of some sleaze.
Whenever I colored in my friends face with a Sharpie in college it wouldn't even come off with paint thinner. I thought a baseball would hold up better than skin.
The sharpie would have ran on this baseball due to its sheen. I made the mistake of taking a leather ball instead of one with a smooth surface.
Still, the pen signature looked great until I got knocked forward and the ball brushed against my shirt.
Sorry to hear this story bro. Let's put things in perspective though: You could be jobless with a wife and young son with your wife expecting another and your former employer challenging your unemployment while watching your tax money go down the drain.
Phew. I feel better now.
After getting laid off from the paper last year, I'm working part-time at the bigger paper in town while trying to stay ahead on bills. I feel your pain on unemployment.
Keep your chin up and continue to work hard. It will get better.
I'll never forget the day I got Denny McClain's autograph at the 7-Eleven on Mound & 16 Mile in 2003. He was working there on a work-release program. Bought a Slurpee, asked him to sign a baseball for me at the counter, and he gave it to me. Funny stuff.
Sorry about your ball though man -- that, that sucks.
Too bad about the Ripken. I've had similar experiences as I had a signed Mark Fidrych baseball that was smudged. Luckily I was able to meet him again and get another autograph (this time on a photo. Baseballs fade quite a bit). What a great guy he was, I really miss him.