OSU Waterboy Ernie Patterson to enter NFL Draft

Submitted by Unfiltered Manball on

Patterson, a redshirt junior from Willowick Ohio, will forgo his senior season on the sidelines in Columbus to test the waters of the NFL Draft.

Known for his uncanny ability to maintain Gatorade squirt-bottles at a refreshing 33 degrees and always landing clean, precise, streams through the facemask- will make Patterson difficult for the Buckeyes to replace.

"Everyone else was making the decision to jump to the League," Patterson stated. "I knew I had the skills, so after discussing this with both Coach Meyer and my cat - Mr. Pickles- I realized now was the best time for me to take my talents to the next level."

"I'm ready for this next challenge.  Gameday cooler-duty has prepared me for anything."

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MGoCombs

January 6th, 2016 at 9:35 AM ^

So still maybe Aaron Hernandez? I know the guy was a terrible person but he was on pace numbers-wise with some of the best ever at the receiving-TE position. Of course, he could have fallen off, suffered injuries, killed people, etc. (oh wait...) but in his short 3-year career he had the per game averages around or above players like Gonzalez, Graham, Witten (Gronk is in his own league).

There's something to be said about longevity as well, but in terms of talent he was probably better than those guys.



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Lie-Cheat-Steal

January 6th, 2016 at 10:09 AM ^

I call it the Tom Brady effect.  While I am pulling these numbers completely out of my ass and I am not going to take the time to make a spreadsheet to analyze, I would say respective receiver and TE productivity is 25%-30% higher when given player is on the Pats and has Brady throwing to them vs. playing for another team/QB.

Joined: 10/14/2015

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Blusqualo

January 5th, 2016 at 9:45 PM ^

Maybe Detroit should draft this guy. Detroit has never drafted a water boy, choosing to go the free agent route for the franchises history, we see how well that has panned out for them. I think they should pick this guy up in the 8th or 9th round before any other teams take too hard of a look at him.

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CoverZero

January 5th, 2016 at 10:57 PM ^

 

It is a little known fact that the play above was flagged for Targeting, and was subsequently reviewed by replay.   However after further review, the call was reversed and the Purdue player was not only allowed to continue on in the game, he was also given a coupon for a free Large Pizza from Dominos.

Joined: 08/30/2014

MGoPoints: 14571

Mgodiscgolfer

January 6th, 2016 at 6:06 AM ^

doesn't spill a drop and has 4.4 speed to get on and off field as fast as anyone out there. But he has a list of offers from all the big boys out there. I heard one guy say that he is a USC lean because he has a uncle out there.  Of course for some odd reason Mississippi is coming on strong and he scheduled a visit.

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Its me Dave

January 6th, 2016 at 8:54 AM ^

He had some pretty negative comments about how little interest there was in hydration during the MSU game.  He had some pretty pointed criticism for the players for not using his services  more and thought it contributed to the loss.

Joined: 07/30/2011

MGoPoints: 2447

M-Dog

January 6th, 2016 at 9:25 AM ^

You handle those things behind closed doors.  You don't call out your Trainer on National TV, even if you are right.

It's always "Me Me Me".  Classless.

This is what happens when you let your Aqua Of Trust guys run wild and never be held accountable for anything.

 

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