OT: Decision to have one more kid
Wife and I are approaching the age where statistics start playing a role in having a kid. We currently have two boys (6 and 4).
Have others on the board had this debate thinking they were done after x children? Then later think if we don’t now we won’t be able to later.
Prediction: Michigan wins the Big Ten without beating OSU. This allows UM to recruit at a slightly higher level closing the gap more.
Go Blue!
We were going to keep trying until we got a girl. 4th time was what worked for us. No ragrets at all even though our girl much prefers mom over me and it may push back retirement plans by a few years.
That will change very soon - one day she will wake up and be daddy’s girl!!! Of course, a few year’s after that she will think that all parents / adults are stupid and then come back to mom and dad around 19/20.
The only problem with having 4 kids is there's two more of them than you.
August 3rd, 2019 at 11:13 PM ^
I think you mean "no regerts".
My wife and I decided to stop after 3 kids, then we reconsidered. Ended up with twins to account for 4 and 5. Be careful.
Username checks out.
Rarely does reading elicit audible laughter from me. Couple that with the fact that bit is a little over-used and played out, even though I've tried my hand at it a time or two, and I have to tell you that was as well as I've seen it played. Had to log in to give you the highest of up-votes!
Wife and I haven’t decided if we’re gonna have kids yet. I’ve been told that the requirement is we need to have at least 1 girl and 1 boy. Don’t know if I would be willing to go past 2.
We decided early to save up, skip kids, and travel as much of the World as possible. We are both selfish and felt that we wouldn’t be great parents, so we didn’t. Make the choice that’s right for you and don’t look back. We have 49 states, 20 countries, and closing in on all seven continents.
That is a perfectly rational decision, and congrats. The best research I've seen says that kids decrease near-term happiness and slightly increase it over the long-term. Raising kids is hard (esp the first few years) and if you know what fulfills you, no reason to stray from it.
Some of our fellow parent friends seem to resent the freedom and time to devote to professional pursuits that others our age without kids enjoy. It's like, we all chose this, they chose that. Get one of those Wine Mom t-shirts and make the best of life.
You've got me by 1 state and apparently some continents, but I've got you by dozens of countries and 3 kids (2 of whom have been to something like 14 countries). Traveling versus having kids doesn't have to be an either-or choice. Now, regularly going to dinner alone with your spouse or going out with your friends whenever you want is another question.
August 3rd, 2019 at 10:58 PM ^
I'll second this - traveling is great and even better with the kids.
The planet and other peoples grandkids and great grandkids thank you for your selfishness.
What happens if the requirement isn't met? Will it upset the applecart if you end up with 2 boys or 2 girls? How about triplets?
Assuming singles, the first kid is one kid worth of work. Second kid is three kids worth of work. Every kid after that is one-half.
LOL... this is so true
Also - username checks out.
Not for me. I was told having a 4th is like jumping off a cliff...having managed fine with 3 I didn't believe it...it was true.
I felt the same way you did for the first few years of having 4 kids. But now that the youngest is potty trained, gets dressed himself, and can put on his own shoes the differemce is minimal.
Jim Gaffigan, the comedian, has a bit that says picture yourself drowning and someone throws you a baby. That’s what having 4 kids feels like.
Yes, my wife and I have discussed the number of children we want in our family.
if you’re big on your career then stick with two and don’t spread yourself too thin. Be the best you can be.
Spreading yourself thin financially can be very problematic. Assuming college is in your kids' wheelhouse, your expenses to raise each child will be very substantial. Childcare is not inexpensive if both parents work.
From my experience with my kids and now grandkids, the number of kids is not a linear function in terms of the work involved.
Then there are those "poopoo-didi's," as one of my sons used to call them, that one has to change.
Yes, had that discussion many times. It's so extremely personal and life is so uncertain that there is no correct answer, even for you who is ostensibly making the choices. Whatever you decide, or don't decide but happens anyway, my only advice is to make it correct through your approach to life by the day, and even by the hour.
my parents thought they were done after two, i disagreed i guess.
There is always adoption of you second guess yourself later.
We had a boy and a girl. Took much longer than expected to have the girl. By the time things had settled in with 2 kids and we had the energy to try for number 3, we thought the better of it. Wife would have been 36 or later with number 3. Doctor wasn’t giving us a warm and fuzzy about risks.
We were kind of the same way regarding age. We had agreed that we'd not try for any kids after 40. Too many friends with complications.
The world is gonna be uninhabitable by the time they're 20-30. Save them the anguish of a short and violent life.
Essentially don't save up for retirement because why bother? Maybe have a smart kid who saves the planet by the time he's 25 or 30?
Science is crucial, but don't throw out predictions that obviously won't come to pass, because that just gives the crazies more ammunition as to why science is wrong to begin with. I realize this statement was probably in jest or an equivocation or just overly dramatic, but it's also all over the news and it really needs to stop.
One and done.
Wife (now ex-) and I started late; she was 37 and I was 35 when our son was born.
I would have liked a brother or sister for my son, but it wasn’t in the cards due to late start.
Best wishes to those having kids later in life. Any number of kids is a labor of love for sure.
And brainwash them for the Maize & Blue right out of the shoot!
Don't shoot the chute!
28
(No, not 28 kids. 28 days until the home opener. And the end of OT season.)
BOOM!
Yeah, this is getting ridiculous.
Currently sitting on the couch holding baby #2 (a girl - 1 day old). Watching son (3) play with toys. Let’s just say I was paying close attention to the vasectomy topic from yesterday...
Congratulations!
We planned on a large family, and had 5(!) children. Wife said she was done. Good enough for me. I would've gone along with that after being in the room for the first. Adopted 3 more since. No regrets.
Heads up: going from 2 children to 3 was hardest transition for us (outside of adoption).
Damn. You are a good person. I barely remember to feed myself. With 10 mouths to feed, I’d panic
You may need a go fund me account! EEK!
I remember 4 driving and 4 in college at the same time. Blended family 2 boys and 2 girls all within 3 years of age. All are out of the house.
Probably could have retired a few years ago if we had only 2, but glad we had all of them.
(I'm an old guy)
When you go from 2 to 3...you have to switch from man to man defense to prevent zone.
August 3rd, 2019 at 11:57 PM ^
Eight kids?!?! I have one and she is a chore. A lovely, wonderful, beautiful chore. But a chore nonetheless. Then again, I am 46 and I guess if I was 10 years younger it would feel less so. She is 25 months old and is quite literally a miracle. Wife and I had nearly given up after 7 years of heartbreak.
If you have kids in your 40's you get 20 solid years of good, free livin'. But then you pay for it because babies/toddlers are difficult and you're old. IDK, if I had to do it over I again I'd probably do it the same way. Just choose the decade you want to give up.
Certainly had the conversation, at about exactly the same time (we have 2 that are slightly older than yours). Ultimately we decided we were good with two (and don't regret that choice), but agree with others that this is highly personal.
Within my friend group, some have chosen to have no kids, some one, some two, some more. All of them seem happy with their decisions.
Also, no way we lose to tOSU this year.
No kids. I don’t understand how people afford them.
Plenty of people have kids and can't afford them.
We decided 2 was enough . 3 seemed like someone was always the odd one out while the other two were super close. Plus we're both tree huggers and making another human is about the most environmentally destructive thing you can do.
Good, then the chimpanzees with inherit the earth.
Came from a large family (oldest of eight) and decided that was not our desired route. Couple that with two rough pregnancies (second one especially that culminated in an induced delivery due to cholestasis) and I was very much okay with getting snipped after the second one was born.
no regrets. Wanted a boy but love my girls with every bit of me that I got.
We had two, a girl & a boy. Life is good, yet, with both my wife and I coming from large families, I often look back and wonder and sometimes wish we had more. Kids are great and grandkids are even more.
I’ve heard 1 is plenty, 2 not much of a difference if closer together in age but 3 really throws a wrench into things. I’m 1 and done personally.
Best way I've heard 2 kids vs 3 kids described is man to man defense vs zone defense.