Memorial Day Recap: Wow

Submitted by orobs on May 31st, 2011 at 12:59 AM

Wow, so all in all, this has to be the most memorable day offseason day that I can ever remember, even more than the coaching searches because of all the pieces coming out throughout the day.

-Woke up to the news that Jim Tressel resigned.  I don't think there could be a more glorious way to wake up other than waking up to a blowjob. 
-Then, it came out that:

 1) Tress was forced to retire and

2) OSU wouldn't even bother searching for a coach until this entire season is over.  Needless to say, a bombshell was coming. 

- A lull for OSU news, but then some more awesome recruiting news with commit #14 on his way tomorrow
- Erik Magnuson (#34 player nationally on rivals) lists us as his favorite before even stepping foot on campus

-Urban Meyer says he's not interested in the job (at least for now)
- NCAA says they are launching an entirely separate investigation on Pryor
-Elevenwarriors reports that they have reliable sources saying Terrelle Pryor played his last game as a buckeye, leaving this guy as OSU's QB:


-Terelle Pryor rolls up in a brand new Nissan 350z with TEMP TAGS from May 24 to a team meeting.

-The article:  Now I know a lot of people were underwhelmed by it.  But let's rehash the key points.
-A Brand new source in Rose
-Memoribilia for tats went back to 2002
-Confirmed players involved in tatgate jumps from 6 to 28 (thats an increase of 366%)
-14 of the alleged players are active players
-Of the new 9, Dorian Bell (LB), Storm Klein (LB), John Simon (DT) and Nate Williams (DE) were likely starters this year
-Players were trading tattoos for weed (1 player traded memorabilia for a pound of weed....a pound is a lot of weed)
-Terrelle Pryor basically had free access to raid the equipment closet and trade it for whatever he wanted
...when asked why, pryor says: I get whatever I want
-Rose Bowl tickets were traded for a Tahoe

I'm sorry, but that is an AWESOME amount of information, and the NCAA is going to get more details about names, etc. than we did from Dohrmann.

Lets break down the losses one final time:
-Head coach: gone
-Star QB: probably gone (but still very much retarded)
-Four likely defensive starters: likely also gone for first 5 games next year

No, a prostitution ring or point shaving system was not exposed.  But holy crap, this guy singlehandedly pushed OSU over the edge to kick tressel to the curb and started a whole new investigation on Pryor.  Also, he made it MUCH harder for the NCAA to deny a "lack of institutional control.  Kudos to Dohrmann for making this the most exciting offseason day of my life.


Also, this happened:



May 31st, 2011 at 1:09 AM ^

I woke up, found out Tressel was fired, and was all like noo effin way thats unreal.

Worked out, went out on the boat, got drunk, came back to the house and ate some delicious beef brisket (cooked with sweet baby rays bbq sauce), and then passed out at an unknown time that i do know was way to early (my last text before i woke up was at 7).  I just woke up an hour ago to find out that the SI article did drop today, which took me at least 20 minutes to read because I kept losing my concentration due to multiple reasons including being slightly still drunk. Upon waking up only now do I realize how burnt I got today.  However I'd say it was still a very successful day.


May 31st, 2011 at 1:09 AM ^

I don't know how old you are, but one day you'll learn that there is no more glorious way to wake up than waking up to news that Jim Tressel resigned.*

The ESPN article was awesome. Kudos on seeing why.

*Unless you wake up in your other scenario at the age of somewhere between 15 and 20. But that's just because you can still spend all day talking about how you woke up in your scenario at that age and people won't find it creepy.

Steve Lorenz

May 31st, 2011 at 1:11 AM ^

I can't state enough how glad I am that Terrelle Pryor committed to Ohio State that day. I remember sitting in the Fishbowl seeing everybody pretty much waiting for his announcement and the almost audible disappointment when he chose Ohio State. I can only imagine how audible that disappointment would be now if he had become the face of our great University for four years. 


May 31st, 2011 at 1:22 AM ^

Dont forget the real reason this day is a holiday. Thank you to all of the troops serving, those who have served, and those who will serve.


May 31st, 2011 at 2:46 AM ^

I played the song "Chicken Fried" so many times today, which has this as a verse: 

I thank God for my life, 

And for the stars and stripes. 
May freedom forever fly, let it ring. 
Salute the ones who died. 
The ones that give their lives, so we don't have to sacrifice 
All the things we love.

Like our chicken fried.


May 31st, 2011 at 2:20 AM ^

NCAA: Is it true that you withheld information from this body?

JimBill: "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the--if he--if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not--that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement....Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of knowledge of improprieties at Ohio State, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true." 


May 31st, 2011 at 6:01 AM ^

That Family Radio guy got it wrong by a little more than a week, if you were a Buckeye fan. For some, I'm sure the world did seem to end. However, also like the "true believers" of one Rev. Harold Camping, the True Believers of Jim Tressel and all that is Scarlet and Gray remain in a state of denial.

For followers of Family Radio, the make-up date for the Rapture is this October*. For Bucknuts, they're finding many somethings to cling to: Urban Meyer/Jon Gruden/Bob Stoops is coming to save the program; the NCAA won't come down hard because Tressel is gone; we're not USC; we'll survive because this is still Ohio State, damnit!; Tressel is a good guy** just trying to protect his players; and the SI article didn't say anything that wasn't already known and the sources were hardly gold-plated.

In the cold light of day, those of us who are rational expect to be toasting our health in November. Those of us who also benefit from having been witness to the decade-long turmoil in the U-M men's basketball program can testify to the reductive power of NCAA punishment.

Here's hoping that Gene Smith finds his own Brian Ellerbe.

*Really, how does this guy do it? I don't know whether I should be more astonished at the stupidity of people or his ability to run a con.

**See (*) above.


May 31st, 2011 at 8:31 AM ^

Bell was suspended for the year after violating a team rule for the 3rd time.  A couple weeks ago, Bucknuts reported that he's transferring to Pitt.

Amusingly enough, TV10 reported that Tressel didn't know about it:


May 31st, 2011 at 7:30 AM ^

Ok, Pryor who needed money to help his family claims the....


-Terelle Pryor rolls up in a brand new Nissan 350z with TEMP TAGS from May 24 to a team meeting. his mothers.  She works in the lab in a Columbus hospital..


Average Salary of Jobs Matching Your Search

In USD as of May 31, 2011 25k 50k 75k

Lab Technician

$38,000 High Confidence (more than 250 sources)

I'm not saying she couldn't have a brand new 30,000K car.  I'm just putting the information out there. 


May 31st, 2011 at 8:50 AM ^

She works there.  I'm not sure how many people realize exactly who she is. She does have to where her name badge, but most people cover up their last name.