Unverified Voracity Can Screenshot Forever

Submitted by Brian on March 22nd, 2011 at 10:52 AM

Meta. Here's a screenshot of a blog taking a screenshot of itself:


I wish I had thought of that. That's UMHoops. After a season of coverage they're gently prodding people to click the donate button. I did, then checked my email to find that I had received a donation exactly the same size as the one I'd just made. I promise this will happen to you if you chip in.

If you promise to be gentle, I will gingerly shake your hand. Congratulations to wrestler Kellen Russell, who won the national championship at 141 pounds and was the primary reason Michigan finished 15th at the national championships. He beat Boris Novachkov—no doubt sent by a Russian oligarch to destroy democracy—of Cal in the final.

Russell went 38-0 against an insane gauntlet of opponents. The Big Ten featured five of the top six wrestlers in his weight class. Russell beat all of them, beat a bunch of them again in the conference tourney, beat a bunch of them again again in the national tournament, and finally defeated Russia's nefarious plans in the final. Statistically it's the best season in Michigan wrestling history even if it came by the slimmest of margins:

It didn’t matter when he heard his ankle pop while he was tied, midway through the championship match and couldn’t put pressure on his leg.

It didn’t matter that it took Russell a combined four overtimes to advance through the quarterfinal and semifinal rounds, or that both wins came from the slimmest of margins — a meager 21 seconds of combined riding time, earned by being on top of your opponent.

Russell returns for another go-around next year.

We are talking about practice. Normally the start of spring practice would get banner headlines around here, but something something basketball something so here's this:

I was slightly disturbed by the bit where they run through the dong forest:


Whatever happened to family values? /boren'd

Draft tea leaves. Michigan had their pro day, during which Jonas Mouton showed relatively well and Martell Webb showed at 274(!) pounds. Commence retroactive Greg Frey assault, though:

G Stephen Schilling did pretty much what everyone expected in Ann Arbor. His athleticism, quick feet and pulling speed continue to entice NFL teams. He looked solid in positional drills, showing he can physically do what he will be called upon to do.

The one issue that showed up during his workout, something not unexpected from watching Schilling on film, was his shaky technique. He often bent at the waist and leaned rather than keeping his feet under him.

I'm not even mad. The Tennessee game was a crazy outlier, a 30-point blowout in which the winning team made no free throws and only attempted one. Surely you cannot find one Tennessee fan on the planet who is complaining about the refereeing in the aftermath. Surely this is the one game ever played in which everyone agrees that

Tennessee is better than Michigan. 

Yeah, I said it. Tennessee is better. It was obvious at the outset that Michigan could not guard Tennessee. They were too slow. They were guarding with their hands and fouling. We were getting past their defenders at will.

Then, about 10 minutes in, we were only up about 5 and we had completely outplayed them. I began to think we may have problems.

Then the refs took over. They called charges if Michigan's players even thought about moving their feet to establish position...which they never did. After four bogus charges (and one legitimate one on them that went uncalled), Tennessee changed its offense. UT no longer drove the ball. They settled or outside shots and pull ups. They missed. A lot. The refs had accomplished their mission. They single-handedly took Tennessee out of its offense. Then Michigan started hitting from outside.

Thanks to the above elements, Michigan went on a run. Tennessee got down. Then Tennessee quit. I'm not excusing that, but given the recent events of the past few days and given that it was abundantly clear from the officiating that UT would not be allowed to win this game, it's understandable. So a loss turned into a blowout loss.

Thank God college basketball is over. I won't watch another game in this tournament because it's ridiculously subjective and corrupt. I just don't know if I'll care enough to watch any of it next year. It's like scripted reality TV. Can't wait for football.

That is amazing. I love this man for posting this thing on the Tennessee message board that had the nice story about Beilein. He has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is no possible game in which fans of the loser will not blame the refs.

BTW here are those charges:

Exit Pearl. Bruce Pearl has been fired at Tennessee for lying to NCAA investigators. There were some minor recruiting violations and one extremely minor violation of the bump rule, too, but if Pearl just says "my bad" in the room he gets away with a minor suspension a la Izzo/Calhoun. Instead he lies and then fails to report the bump violation and he's out.

Is this Tennessee doing a 180 from earlier in the year when they seemed determined to hold on to Pearl at all costs? It doesn't look like it. Fans are apoplectic. Wes Rucker tweeted that anyone who thinks Tennessee athletic director Mike Hamilton wants a new coach "is wrong"; that link contains one of those impossibly long and plausible-seeming emails that get batted around the internet but can never be confirmed suggesting the same. Meanwhile, FOX's Jeff Goodman says that UT's hand was forced:

Hamilton — according to sources — was recently informed that the NCAA would be coming down hard on Pearl and he opted to cut ties.

Add another notch on Bylaw 10.1's belt.

The obvious comparison is to Tressel, who voluntarily extended his suspension to five games as if his violation is on par with those of his players. Media still isn't buying this, especially if the suspension only applies to gameday. In Tressel's corner: he didn't lie to anyone's face and he didn't follow up his transgression with an otherwise minor violation that proved he'd learned nothing, then score another violation in March—ie, now. Not so much in his corner: Pearl's troubles stem from a minor recruiting violation acquired in the pursuit of a player he didn't actually get; Tressel covered up violations that made five important players ineligible through an entire season, failed to disclose the problem four separate times, and duped the NCAA into making them eligible for the Sugar Bowl. I think Tressel's violation is considerably worse than Pearl's but that could just be a zillion losses talking.

Here's one bet on supplemental. Notre Dame terrorbeast Michael Floyd got hit with something between a garden-variety and Kevin Grady "Mickey Mouse is a dog" frightening DUI, getting pulled over with a .19 BAC after running a stop sign. That would warrant a game or two suspension at most places. At Notre Dame they have some jackbooted bureaucrats called the Office of Residence Life who are like every evil movie dean ever, though. Pot possession? Gone for the year… or out for the Purdue game*. Drankin'? No big deal or season-long suspension.

Which will it be? Well, that last link may be the most relevant: TE Will Yeatman got booted for a year for being one of 37 underage ND students ticketed at a house party. He had picked up a DUI in January for driving down the sidewalk with a .11 BAC. Floyd has not one but two underage drinking citations in his past and by exceeding .15 BAC has been charged with a more serious version of drunk driving. If precedent holds Brian Kelly is going to watch his best player get suspended by the dread Office and head to the NFL's supplemental draft.

*[I could not for the life of me find definitive word on what Ragone got hit with, but the NCAA says he played in every game except ND's opener.]

Just screwin' around for pi day. It turns out Zack Novak doesn't know 62 digits of pi:

He does know more than you do.

Etc.: Jalen Rose makes it very clear for anyone who still has trouble parsing Jalen Rose's very clear sentences. Ohio State rabble-rouser Bruce Hooley gets insta-fired for his comments about Tressel, and my reaction is admiration—people in Ann Arbor itself still have to deal with miserable schticky losers, let alone Detroit. Eamonn Brennan says Michigan fans have a lot to look forward to. Boston College fans shipped to St. Louis as four seed UNH gets to play at home are on-board with ditching the current regional format. The Bylaw Blog argues that anyone with a problem with the NCAA should really look at the NBA and NFL for providing zero alternatives. Nebraska won't add hockey even though they've got a multipurpose arena opening in 2013. The culprit is the usual: Title IX, a law made in a different world. In this one 57% of college students are women.



March 22nd, 2011 at 11:08 AM ^

Okay, I'm confused.....I thought if the refs made so many foul calls that eventually Michigan would find itself on the free throw line.  I guess they were keeping it under the radar by not calling that many fouls?


March 22nd, 2011 at 1:46 PM ^

From the Wall Street Journal's play-by-play ("guest blogger" Jonah Keri), an enjoyable read:


Some selections:

  • Just before his halftime score: "Michigan called for a phantom over-the-back call, because we didn't have enough homer calls in the Carolina game in Charlotte. Why not tack on more homecooking? Irving misses the first and makes the second, making Duke 8-of-14, and that's it for the half."
  • "And Jim Nantz finally mentions the "The Fab Five," ESPN's documentary. Quick! Get a producer in Nantz's ear to read Rose's rebuttal."
  • "Smotrycz might have the best goofy-looks-to-ability ratio in college basketball."


March 22nd, 2011 at 12:47 PM ^

Your opponent is playing a zone and your offensive strategy is to have your guards drive the lane for the easy bucket because they're faster than the defender who is no longer playing them man-to-man and you're unclear why your suddenly getting whistled for charges?

I can understand being frustrated for getting whupped so thoroughly, but learn how the game is played before you go off on a rant.


March 22nd, 2011 at 11:21 AM ^

Many years ago I visited a friend at ND during the week after finals at UMich.  (Aside: I *really* liked UMich's academic calendar.  Endless summer compared to just about every other school ... IIRC Eastern had a similar schedule.)  Earlier in the day I'd stopped by Marquette to visit another friend (well-known to both of us), who'd given me a flask of something alcoholic to deliver to the ND guy.

He didn't include any instructions, though.  Thankfully I was accompanied by an older female friend, who put the hooch in her purse for convenience.  When we got in the guy's dorm room and handed him his present, he nearly crapped himself.  Apparently that was a huge no-no at the time.  To this day I'm not sure why the Marquette dude didn't educate us on that.


March 22nd, 2011 at 11:25 AM ^

I don't know where you keep getting this Tressel "duped the NCAA" into letting the players play in the Sugar Bowl stuff. The BCS, the Sugar Bowl, et al. begged to let them play or else there was no interest in that game. Gene Smith and Tressel originally suspended them for that game and the NCAA (after the Sugar Bowl prodded them) came back and said they didn't have to sit it out.


March 22nd, 2011 at 11:52 AM ^

The Sugar bowl is nothing. Tressel lied to the NCAA and had 5 ineligible players play the entire 2010 season. He knew that his players were ineligible and decided to cover it up in order to have a successful 2010 season. His ass is grass (or should be) and we all know it.


March 22nd, 2011 at 12:13 PM ^

How does that argument hold water? Sure they would lose 70 percent of their offense, who gives a shit? Bowl ratings would drop for one year. Those players were ineligible and Tressel knew about it. It wont matter if the NCAA does the right thing and hits Tressel with a show-cause penalty plus makes OSU vacate all wins from the 2010 season.


Just because the Sugar Bowl, NCAA, et al are corrupt does not mean that that argument holds water. That is beyond ridiculous.


March 22nd, 2011 at 1:12 PM ^

how could OSU/Tressel say no?  I mean, those NCAA rules are all well and good, and OSU/Tressel probably would want to consider the long-term outlook of the program, but if the almighty Sugar Bowl begged them to use ineligible players, what choice did they have?

So, explain to me again, how does the "Sugar Bowl begged" theory help you here, or refute the claim that Tressel duped the NCAA?  Perhaps the Sugar Bowl/NCAA might have changed their "begging" position if they knew all the facts being withheld from them by Tressel?


March 22nd, 2011 at 1:41 PM ^

You are absolutely right that Tressel could have still sat them. The NCAA simply told him that he didn't have to sit them, and that was at the urging of the Sugar Bowl and the BCS, for obvious, self-interested reasons. Maybe the NCAA would have not given Tressel such a choice had they known about Tressel's "cover-up." I don't think Tressel's conduct has nor would have had any bearing on the players' eligibility for that game, at that time. Maybe it would have had Tressel done the right thing and come forward at the time he discovered the violations. My entire point was simply Tressel didn't dupe anyone into making those players eligible for the Sugar Bowl at the time the decision to play them in the Sugar Bowl was made. I get what you guys are saying about how if he had come forward in April last year, they wouldn't have been eligibile for the Sugar Bowl. And I've admitted that is a valid point. But not the point I was trying to address. Obiviously they are linked, so call me petty for arguing the minute detail here I guess.


March 22nd, 2011 at 1:47 PM ^

But the hypothetical plays out differently in my mind.  If Tressel had revealed before the bowl game that he sat on this information throughout the season, I think the NCAA/BCS/Big Ten would have reacted differently (and more negatively), even though the violations committed by the players would have remained unchanged.  Don't forget that the players playing in the bowl game helps not only the players themselves, but their (lying) coach -- remind me, how many games has he won against the SEC?

Benoit Balls

March 22nd, 2011 at 12:06 PM ^

had he revealed what information he had before the start of the season (like, maybe when he had to sign those NCAA compliance forms with the assertion that he "had no knowledge of any violations"), then perhaps those players wouldn't have played during the season, thus no BCS game appearance for tOSU, ergo BCS and NCAA promoters wouldn't have had to fudge their eligibility to maintain interest in one of their marquee games.




March 22nd, 2011 at 12:25 PM ^

Well that's all true, hypothetically. What I'm talking about is soley the decision to let them play the Sugar Bowl, which was made around the time when the NCAA and OSU had everything on the table already, including the fact that Tressel knew in April (presumably, since it was some time in December or January that OSU self reported that, maybe it wasn't til after the game and the decision to play them was already made)


March 22nd, 2011 at 12:38 PM ^

OSU self-reported Tat5 on December 19th, Tressel said nothing.  Decision to suspend the players for next year instead of the Sugar Bowl was made, with NCAA & B1G.

After all that, on January 13th 2011, an OSU lawyer investigating a totally unrelated matter found the e-mails indicating Tressel knew everything in April.  He's caught in a Lie.


March 22nd, 2011 at 1:11 PM ^

It prohibits any possible defense of the lie itself.  Not that there is one.

You should want Tressel gone.  A phrase I never believed I would utter, but Ohio State is above this.  You have players selling their B1G championship rings, gold pants, and a head coach lying to the NCAA.  That presser was a clown show, and OSU is a laughing stock at the moment.  The country absolutely will not stand for light punishment, not with Dez Bryant, Pearl, et al setting clear precedent.

The NCAA won't sacrifice itself for Tressel.  The B1G won't sacrifice it's reputation for Tressel.  And OSU will survive w/out him.  He's damaged goods anyway - do you really think players won't view him differently?  That's delusion.

NCAA, B1G, and eventually OSU are going to flush. 


March 22nd, 2011 at 11:52 AM ^

at the very least.  Tressel may not have actually been asked the question, "Did you know about this?" in December.  But it hardly matters.  It's a ridiculous defense, not unlike a child squirming in front of his parents.  Yes, what he did is much worse than Pearl, both in severity and that he did not bring his involvement to light himself (not even when presented the opportunity in DEC).  He was accidentally caught. 

OSU, the B1G conference, and the NCAA may have all preferred this didn't come to light.  But it did.  Tressel is gone, he'll be allowed to resign, OSU already knows this.  He's a Liar. 


March 22nd, 2011 at 1:36 PM ^

According to the letter OSU sent to the NCAA, Tressel:

Did not report the information in the e-mails or his knowledge of potential violations on December 16, 2010, when asked by institutional officials about his knowledge of the student-athletes' involvement in these activities. More specifically, while conducting its inquiry, institutional officials interviewed the six involved student-athletes. Following the interviews, University officials informally questioned Coach Tressel about his knowledge of this information. When Coach Tressel was asked if he had been contacted about the matter or knew anything about it, he replied that while he had received a tip about general rumors pertaining to certain of his players, that information had not been specific, and it pertained to their off-field choices. He implied that the tip related to the social decisions/choices being made by certain student-athletes. He added that he did not recall from whom he received the tip.


March 22nd, 2011 at 12:19 PM ^

You said "Dong Forest"

Yes.  I am 45 years old and I laughed audibly at that term.   I can also sit and watch iCarly with my 15year old daughter and not ask for the remote.

EDIT:  We have one of those contraptions on our practice field.  From now on, I'm yelling "Let's go!  On the hop to the Dong Forest"



March 22nd, 2011 at 3:53 PM ^

You said "on the hop".  I think I heard that about a bajillion times over the four years I played highschool football.  It was my coach's favorite phrase.


It also stuck out because he mispronounced my last name (Haupt) as "Hop."  So momentary confusion ensued whenever he'd say either "on the hop" or call for me to do something.


March 22nd, 2011 at 12:16 PM ^

I do not know why they stuck the dude with a bad back with the job of holding the pads so the players could jump over them. He looks like hes in a lot of pain.


March 22nd, 2011 at 12:42 PM ^

no wonder BC's done so well in the ncaa tourney. given, they've been really solid, but in each of the last 6 ncaa tournaments, BC has played their regional in either Worcester, MA or Manchester, NH which are an hour and an hour and fiften minutes away from Boston. imagine if michigan had played in detroit and grand rapids for each of the last 6 ncaas instead of being shipped out to new york or st louis