OT - Calling MgoDads!
My wife is scheduled to be induced on Tuesday at Genesys Hospital in Grand Blanc. It is our first child (a girl) and we are both super excited and super freaked out. Honestly, even being in the delivery room is freaking me out as I'm a bit of a wuss with the blood and guts..
To all of you fathers out there - give me your best advice / tips for a first time father.
I had friends who had a baby that never slept. Like only 2 hours at a time for the first year. The wife confessed that she was so tired at about seven months that she would drive the baby around and think about driving into a wall to end it all. And she's one of the best moms I know (kid is now 16). Sleep deprivation is torture.
Take everything from the hospital that isn't nailed down.
ESPECIALLY the mesh underpants. You'll need a month's supply and can't get them anywhere else, and trust me your wife is going to want them.
But as much formula and diapers and burp cloths you can scamper away with, and don't forget all the pumping equipment.
Change diapers not for credit but because it's your job as a dad. Plus, as others have pointed out, it's more time with your baby.
Obviously you can't do half the feeding BUT you can share the work a little at night by getting your baby when she cries and bring her to your wife. A side benefit: you're as quick or quicker to hear your child at night as your wife. And that continues: years later, I'd still hear some sound from my kids at night, while my wife slept through it.
A friend of mine was in the delivery room when his wife had an emergency c-section. He said they pulled out some organs and intestines and laid them on her upper stomach while they got the baby out. Don't know if he was exaggerating or not, but that would definitely elicit some puking and fainting.
While she was in med school, her first day on surgery rotation, they were doing a fairly simple ulcer repair, and even the smell/sights of that got her to fainting. I'd imagine seeing all of your guts laid out would be something else
I saw that plane travel was addressed in a few posts. If you're a traveler, don't stop traveling just because you have a kid. We took our son to Florida when he was 5 months old, and he got sick and had massive diarrhea on the plane. I laugh at the thought now. And my daughter threw up on the guy next to her when she was 3. Motion sickness. The guy, a grandfather, was really understanding. But as they say, shit happens to everyone.
until I had kids.
I'm on kid number 3 and the best I can tell you is to throw out some of your expectations.
example:
Kid 1 was expecting exclusive breastfeeding (took classes) and kid was horrible breastfeeder, got my wife sick and moved to bottles after about 6 weeks.
Kid 2 was expecting a mix or mostly bottle, but would not take a bottle at all until about 4 or 5 months (even though it was breast milk)
Kid 3 expected to be one or the other, and he couldn't care less, just takes whatever you give him.
I had an acid reflux baby who slept in a swing for 9 months, a colicky (sp?) baby, and a baby that is rediculously easy, who sleeps just fine anywhere and hardly ever cries.
All I'm saying is that you may have plans, and they may be great plans, but your kid is going to come out with a personality and lay waste to some of those plans. Being as flexible as possible is best advice I can give.
Sleep when they sleep. Dont argue with your wife about anything for about 6 months, and dont argue about small stuff for at least a year. Drinking isnt a great idea, because that kid is waking up and will need attention, no matter what kind of pounding is going on in your head. Most of all, enjoy it. It may seem like its going to last forever when you're up to your elbows in green poo, but it'll be over before you realize it and you dont ant to regret what you missed for the rest of your life.
Congratulations!
1. Sleep now. Try to sleep until Tuesday. You'll want the reserves.
2. After the baby comes home, sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't unload the dishwasher. Don't clean up. Sleep. You have to maintain some sanity, and that is one of the only ways of doing it.
Tip 2: as your child grows up pick the battles you need to win and win them every time. Let the rest go
Guess what? She already knows.
March 30th, 2017 at 10:16 PM ^
1. If your wife (or you, for the mgoladies) is/are considering a natural birth without the epidural, think about getting a doula. They offer a tremendous amount of support and encouragement for both the husband and wife, and take a lot of pressure off of you during the labor.
2. Consider sending the baby to the nursery overnight, and allow them to give the baby formula (even if you are hellbent on breastfeeding) - you and your wife are going to desperately need sleep, and you baby needs nourishment, and this will not affect your ability to breast feed no matter what la leche league tells you. which leads me to....
3. Breast feeding is super hard, and at first women don't produce very much milk. So, your baby will lose weight, and you may or may not be terrified that you are putting your baby at risk. Don't be afraid to get help (You should do this) and definitely get the name of a lactation consultant and accept any training offered, and definitely pump to increase your supply.
4. Be very skeptical of the internet (says guy on the internet). Get one source of information and follow that - most likely your pediatrician. If you read the internet, you'll find contradicting advice and limitless paths to problem solving and you'll feel overwhelmed.