On Being Steve Buscemi
So, about that game against that school: does anyone else feel a little bit like Marge Gunderson right now?
As the rest of the world laughs at Dave Brandon's decision to dredge up a not very nice thing that happened a while back I keep thinking of the scene at the end of Fargo where Grimsrud is in the back of the squad car, mute, as Marge tries to figure out what's in his head:
MARGE ... So that was Mrs. Lundegaard in there? She glances up in the rear-view mirror. Grimsrud, cheeks sunk, eyes hollow, looks sourly out at the road. Marge shakes her head. At length: MARGE ... I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. Grimsrud's head bobs with bumps on the road; otherwise he is motionless, reactionless, scowling and gazing out. MARGE ... And those three people in Brainerd. No response. Marge, gazing forward, seems to be talking to herself. MARGE ... And for what? For a little bit of money. We hear distant sirens. MARGE ... There's more to life than money, you know. She glances up in the rear-view mirror. MARGE ... Don't you know that?... And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day...
Marge is trying to comprehend an alien intelligence's decisions. That's where I find myself today. I can't begin to fathom the kind of thinking that would go into scheduling Appalachian State again. I get there are reasons, just like Grimsrud had reasons, but for the reasons to win out over the costs the kind of value judgments that are going on in the decision-maker's head must be frightening.
Meanwhile, instead of being mute Brandon is reminding us not to shoot anyone. Thanks, Dave Brandon. I'll try to remember not to shoot anyone this fall. Then there's this:
Oh, each team wanted to win. Players mentioned how their nerves came into play. There were sweaty palms, and probably a few "yips" on the green. And when the match was over, there was some fun "trash talk," but there were more laughs and hugs -- and respect for each other.
Not being mute is only exacerbating this divide.
We've had hints of this for a while now, but this is the last straw: Dave Brandon is not a Michigan fan. He may want Michigan to win but he has no concept of what the fanbase thinks is important. In the last year he's suggested or executed the following:
- moving the Ohio State game to midseason
- putting Michigan in a different division than Ohio State
- curly fries in Michigan Stadium
- a sponsored spring game
- a mascot
- scheduling The Horror: The Squeakuel
He has failed to:
- summarily execute Special K on the diag
In the aftermath of people blowing up about these things, he wrote jerky emails and said he "can't see how it would be a negative" to dig up the most infamous upset in NCAA history. These are not good signs. Dave Brandon is going to create the future whether you like being put in a wood chipper or not.
ALIEN VERSUS HORROR NEUTRAL BLOGGER REACT ROUNDUP
this is the single dumbest scheduling decision we can remember, and the most craven once since Indiana sold out one of their own Big Ten home games to play at a "neutral site" full of Penn State fans.
No matter what happens, greater glory is paid the lowest point in the history of the Michigan football program in exchange for national television exposure. This is Michigan football becoming a celebrity rehab patient. This is Michigan's amateur sex tape that no one wants to buy. We're beginning to think Dave Brandon is not a very smart person. We're beginning to also think this will all end with this Michigan team losing this game in 2014, and then beating Florida in the 2015 Outback Bowl.
the athletic department has scheduled what it’s going to have to call a revenge match with Appalachian State, a concept too hysterical to even contemplate.
Aug. 30, 2014, is two days shy of the seventh anniversary of the most stunning upset in college football history, long enough for everyone involved in Appalachian State's 34-32 miracle in the Big House to have graduated, retired or otherwise moved on from the respective programs, but not nearly long enough for Michigan fans to get over the festering humiliation that sent the program into a four-year spiral from which it's only beginning to emerge.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:35 PM ^
where the Red Wings demolish a pee wee team and go on to celebrate to We Are the Champions. Except that the pee wee team actually beat the Red Wings 7 years ago and everyone will be constantly reminded of this fact.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:28 PM ^
This was always the deal with Brandon - the guy loves to make money and runs UM like a business. Businessmen (or as you should read this from now on, "bidnissmen") don't cater to sympathy, to karma, to psychological pain. They don't care what happened two days ago, less 5 years ago. They look at UM stadium and say, let's get a new HD scoreboard. Let's add some more seats. Let's sell curlie fries and sponsored RAWK music interludes between plays. They look at the atheltic department as a company and the AD as a person whose job it is to make money, to put butts in seats and turn eyeballs onto televisions and monitors, regardless of what it takes. Brandon cares about Michigan, but he also cares about maximizing profits and making sound business decisions. And while I'm not always a fan of that mentality, Brandon definitely does not shy away from it either.
The Appy St. game will be one of the most talked-about OOC games of the year, and it will get better ratings than any comparable matchup could ever dream of attaining. That means more eyeballs on the brand, more butts in the seats, more conessions sold, and a couple bits of extra fluff on ESPN and ABC sports. While that reality might offend some, it also means Brandon is doing his job, and doing it well.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:44 PM ^
Im pretty sure UM is going to sell out the game no matter who they play. Am I right? Im going to assume the concessions would then be the same likewise. So UM will not make a single cent more by playing this game as opposed to say Delaware St..
August 26th, 2011 at 2:37 PM ^
Ask yourself this: what would Bo Schembechler have done? Think he'd have run away from App State and never played them again? No way. He'd have marched into the AD's office that very evening and ordered him to schedule them for 2008. And if we lost then, he'd schedule them for 2009. Michigan does not pick up its ball and go home when another program spits in its face. The only real problem here is that too much time will have passed. It would have been nice to schedule the revenge game when there were still guys left on the team from '07.
If the media replays the blocked field goal over and over, good. That will drive home the importance of the game to the players on the '14 team.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:42 PM ^
No one spit in anyone's face.
No one is running from anyone.
Nothing is being avenged.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:46 PM ^
We're not running away from the game because we agreed to play them again.
Michigan and App State will be linked forever because of that game. We can't do anything to change that. We may as well accept it and even up the series.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:52 PM ^
You know for a fact that App St was trying to schedule another game and UM wouldn't agree to it, thereby could be considered as running away from a rematch?
I would rather see a rematch against Texas (UM 0-1 all time). North Carolina (UM 1-2 all time). How about Arizona State? That would rob John Cooper of his last vestige of pride. OK, probably not. How about USC? It would nice to play them at home or on a neutral field for once. I have been dying to get back at Iowa Pre-Flight since the end of the Big One. The refs screwed us that day. Bastards.
There are 3 results - UM crushes App St, no effect on the polls. UM barely wins, UM drops in polls, App St. wins well you know what would happen.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:46 PM ^
would have made more sense than this (although we would have been in danger of losing at least once more). At least if it was the following season then the players that actually lost would have had a chance for revenge, but clearly by 2014 we'll have completely different players and coaches. It's kind of like grieving for the loss of something, finally moving on, and then having someone try and inflict you with post tramatic stress disorder by forcing you to relive a horrific experience.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:47 PM ^
Dude, I think we'd all moved on. It's not like any of these players were on that team, or any of these coaches were on the sidelines (aside from Fred Jackson), and it's a different athletic director.
We'd moved on as a program. Buried Appalachian State. I don't think, if you'd asked anybody 48 hours ago "do you want another piece of those guys?" you would have gotten an enthusiastic "Yes" from anyone.
Dave Brandon managed to pull The Horror back into the headlines again. When your date ditches you at the Junior Prom, you don't call her up to ask for another date 7 years later to even the score.
I don't understand why you're so energetic about defending this decision. It's stupid, no more no less. Absolute lunacy from our Athletic Department.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:50 PM ^
If we've moved on, then there should be no problem playing them again. This is a rare opportunity to play a meaningful opponent in a guarantee game. If you'd prefer we play Eastern, don't worry - we'll probably play them eight more times in the next decade.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:59 PM ^
Beating Appalachian State in 2014 or in 2007 or in any other year doesn't mean shit. Acting like it does (which is the only reason to schedule this game) is embarassing. People who can't wait to "even the score" against them look like Andy Kaufman wearing his Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion of the World belt.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:04 PM ^
By "moved on," I mean that nobody gives a crap about settling a score with a team we didn't like when we scheduled it the first time, and liked even less when they pulled the upset of the century on a team we expected to be playing for a National Championship three months later.
No one cared. We buried that awfulness in the past, moved on with our program (twice), let bygones be bygones and left it for ESPN Classic to dredge up for upset montages and late-night replays we won't watch anyway.
Appalachian State was a memory properly eradicated. No need to revisit it, no desire to replay it, simply gone. Unless you post at RCMB. I don't get the utter glee in getting a chance to "get them back" or whatever.
At the end of the day, 2007 still happened, and beating them in 2014 doesn't make it feel any better or make it go away. It still is what it was then: An abomination that is in no way worth even giving the opportunity of bringing up again.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:08 PM ^
there is no moving on. We're down to UNC. That happened before my time, but I'd still like to fix it.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:38 PM ^
For someone who insists that Michigan fans should not care what is written on the RCMB, you sure do talk about the RCMB a lot.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:21 PM ^
We're going to have to agree to disagree. I don't understand your mindset. Yes, it was a painful loss. My seats are along the east sideline and the blocked field goal occurred directly in front of me. It was brutal. We're going to be associated with App State forever no matter what. It'll always be brought up. At least, on some level, it's a compliment to us that it's considered a huge upset. But I'd like to at least have a positive memory of playing this team. The notion that we should try to avoid this team forever is not a winner's mentality. And given that we apparently need to schedule guarantee games against FCS teams to fill out the schedule, the issue of App State was not going to go away. If we were going to be playing FCS schools on a near-annual basis, someone was going to ask the inevitable: "Why not ASU again?"
I'm all for playing whatever schools have a winning record against us. I'd love a series against UNC.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:38 PM ^
Whomever scheduled App. State the first time(Martin?) was dumb for thinking there was anything to gain by playing the best 1-AA team in the country rather than a bad 1-AA team. Brandon is even dumber for thinking there is anything whatsoever positive about this. The lead up to this game will be constant replays and talk of thet game from 2007.
Obviously Brandon was not as impacted as many of us were/are.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:40 PM ^
The end coming in 2012 may not be such a bad thing after all...
August 26th, 2011 at 2:41 PM ^
Everyone knows the Toledo loss was actually a worse loss, but App St is the one people flip out over. It's like the difference between the fundamentals of a company that probably should drive its stock price and all the factors that actually drive stock price...which is all too often the opinions of the loudest talking heads. I feel like that's what is driving the meltdown over this 2nd App St. game. The same force that makes political 24-hour news coverage so worthless. The participants are too close; they can't see the forest for the trees.
App St. is a decent opponent. By far not the worst scheduled. Why should Michigan avoid them? Afraid of what the talking heads might say? Come on. How on earth do you lose to somebody and not want a rematch?
edit: sorry...I suppose the title should read "Lets"
August 26th, 2011 at 2:58 PM ^
i have been more embarassed about playing minnesota recently than App St.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:00 PM ^
Everyone...
August 26th, 2011 at 3:04 PM ^
I guess I've developed high expectations for the MGoBlog reading crowd.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:46 PM ^
What did they put in the water this week?
August 26th, 2011 at 2:47 PM ^
and while the App State reschedule choice hasn't sealed my feelings about him, I am coming more and more to see him as just another C-suite tool like so many that have rummaged through this country's attics and basements over the past decade or two grabbing anything they think they can pawn or flip quickly on craigslist. The only distinguishing factor about Brandon is he gets to claim he played for Bo and is an alum like so many of the rest of us.
Like others above, I'm already cringing at all the media rehashing that ugly day. The only "upside" I see is the opportunity to move UM's overall record against App State from losing to even. Woo.
So much for moving the Michigan "brand" forward, Dave. #lolpimphand
August 26th, 2011 at 2:48 PM ^
Most of the people who are pointing out why this is such a dumb idea have said everything excactly right and there isn't much to add. But since there are still some who disagree and think this isn't a big deal.....let me say this:
What if we lose?
Picture pouring rain, a key injury to our QB or RB, and another fluke kick going wrong. Picture what that experience will be like.
And picture the alternative - a ho-hum 100-2 thrashing that no one will ever remember.
Now tell me it isn't a big deal to schedule this game.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:54 PM ^
The winningest program in history shouldn't be obsessing about the remote possibility of losing to a team like this.
The very fact that peoples' emotions are so stirred, three years in advance, suggests that the game was a good call. There's going to be a huge buzz for a game between an FBS and FCS school. That doesn't happen all the time.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:05 PM ^
The winningest program in history should never have scheduled them in the first place.
They shouldn't schedule them (or any cupcake ) ever again.
I'm long over the loss . . . why aren't you?
All buzz isn't good. Ridicule is buzz too, and that's just what is surounding the Michigan Brand on a national level today.
Scheduling Bama (a team that even now would most likely crush us) on a big stage (Dallas) is buzzworthy for the Michigan Brand, it's gutsy, and it's just what I expect of Michigan.
This isn't, it's what MSU would do.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:02 PM ^
You just said we shouldn't schedule them because you're afraid we might lose to them.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:52 PM ^
DB sounds a lot like UVA's old president that called the VT rivalry "more jocular than serious." Which made him really, really popular.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:53 PM ^
1-1 lifetime against AppState feels better than 0-1.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:25 PM ^
Cornell must be vanquished.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:50 PM ^
agreed. i assume DB also realizes this.
August 26th, 2011 at 2:56 PM ^
My 1st reaction was surprise at how many people think this is a terrible idea, but my 2nd reaction is surprise over how many of the people that think it's a good idea are already counting it as a victory.
"We didn't listen"
August 26th, 2011 at 2:58 PM ^
Thank you. Dead on as usual.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:01 PM ^
This is probably the last thing I'll say in regards to the App St game (at least for today).
If Michigan can get back to being Michigan over the next 3 years, and we can compete for an win a BIG title, play in a rose bowl, stick it to OSU, MSU, etc...then the App St rematch won't matter.
Opposing fans can laugh all they want if we win the BIG in 2014 or play in the NCG. The bottom line is winning, and I have to tell you that I have been far more embarrassed by the past three season than I am about 2007 where we played OSU for the BT championship and took down Florida in Lloyd's last game.
I would gladly lose to App St again in 2014 if we could of had respectable seasons in '08-'10. Personally, as a Michigan fan I think that's the only way to be. The overall success of the program far exceeds the perception of rival fan bases.
And thats basically all we are talking about here is perception. We're all afraid of what ESPN, Bucknuts, RCMB, etc will say for the next 3 years leading up to this game. Who cares?!
The bottom line is that App St was better than about half the teams we have lost to over the past 3 years. They were certainly better than Toledo. Better than Purdue both years. Better than Illinois in 2009.
So I think we should all just stop worrying about a game in 2014 and focus on becoming a Big Ten power once again. If we do that, we'll be just fine.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:16 PM ^
You are dead wrong. App State lost to two fellow FCS teams that very season. Yes, they won the division's title game again, but they were not the once-in-a-generation small program juggernaught some had believed they would prove themselves to be.
Your catcalls about the last three years ring hollow. Setting aside the absurd claim that half the teams we lost to in that stretch don't measure up to App State, you can't name one team we lost to in which there was a greater talent divide than there was in that game from Labor Day weekend 2007. Not even close.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:34 PM ^
Ok, well you can disagree with me all you want about how good that App St team was. That's fine.
But my main point is that winning solves everything, including negative national perception.
When Michigan starts winning BIG Titles again, we will get respect. We do not need to depend on whether or not we play an FCS team again.
We are getting all worked up for something that does't matter in the grand scheme of things IMO.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:34 PM ^
they were the worst team we have lost to over the past 4 years. Toledo in '08 got beat 31-0 the week before they played us (Ball St) and lost 38-7 the week after to NIU. They lost 9 games that year as well. If '07 App St plays '08 Toledo, App St wins by over 2 TDs, IMO. God, I really hate they we get to talk about either of these losses.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:43 PM ^
That wasn't what I stated. Yes, App State '07 was better than Toledo '08. Few would argue otherwise.
But Michigan '07 (five offensive starters on NFL rosters the next season) was WORLDS better than Michigan '08. Again, if you are talking talent differential, App State was an unprecedented loss.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:59 PM ^
and after rereading your post I responded to, I can see that I responded to a point you were not making. My bad (no sarcasm).
August 26th, 2011 at 3:00 PM ^
Why are people not happy with curly fries? Curly fries are awesome.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:03 PM ^
against non-conference programs not named Notre Dame. I'd gladly put up with curly fries, a mascot, and a sponsored spring game if it meant we could get a road game in Baton Rouge or Norman or Los Angeles. The scheduling of Appy State again is just a byproduct of the insatiable need for home game revenue.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:08 PM ^
my paranoid mind would say you're doing this to SHOCK AND INCITE (PAGE HITS!)
But I know you're not that gauche. So I think at this point you've just become a little bit addicted to acerbic debate.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:09 PM ^
Mixed emotions on this as there really isn't an upside, but it happend and I look at it as starting over..erasing what happend the last few years and hitting the reset button.
We'll have to watch the blocked FG 20x, but oh well it's nothing compared to that day and what we have gone through the last 4 years. I will want to go to the game - something I can't say if it were any other FBS team. So I'm not worried about what everyone else thinks, I just hope we kick their @sses.
As for DB...yeah I'm not loving a lot of his decisions. Like raising ticket prices and responding "someone has to pay for this?" Really? I didn't want new scoreboards, suits, etc...I like my seat and the way it was... Anyway, 8 more days...8 more days...
August 26th, 2011 at 3:10 PM ^
God, Brian is a such a fucking whiner sometimes. And about the some of the smallest shit, too.
I don't see the upside of scheduling them either and I don't think Brandon looks good in doing it. But if you're treating a football game - again, a game - from what will have been seven years ago as some traumatic life experience that you can't possibly relive or even be reminded of, you've got issues.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:27 PM ^
The night we lost to App St:
My wife: "Seriously, babe, it's just a game."
Me: "Part of me died today."
My wife looking at me in disbelief and sighing as if I'm being immature: "This is silly."
Me: "Just hope the part of me that died wasn't the part that's nice to you."
August 26th, 2011 at 5:36 PM ^
When the fight started...
August 26th, 2011 at 3:28 PM ^
The Appy State rematch has now been a topic on EDSBS, Doc Saturday, etc. They universally think it's a bad idea. Doesn't that suggest that maybe Brian isn't being a whiner and kinda sorta, I don't know, has a point? What has happened to this place....?
(P.S. I do have issues when it comes to Michigan football, and I acknowledge them.)
August 26th, 2011 at 3:33 PM ^
I don't think he would be a baby for writing about it and asking "uh ... why?"
I just happen to think the theatrics of it all (saying this proves Brandon is not a Michigan fan, that curly fries are evil, and still insisting that Special K has caused more damage to world society than Pol Pot) are getting quite lame.
August 26th, 2011 at 3:10 PM ^
Brandon did this because people will talk about it. It's just another one of his seemingly endless line of tawdry, bordering on creepy, gimmicks. Since there isn't a speck of substance to it, it's pointless to debate the substance of it.
Brandon talks way too much, is way too out front, and has way too many stupid ideas. Brian's essentially right; I wouldn't say he's not a Michigan fan, but he's a much bigger fan of Dave Brandon's ideas for Michigan than he is of Michigan.
I'm having a real tough time figuring out precisely why he was hired.
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