Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me To NIU Edition
Back for another week of "Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me to." I expect with a 4 TD spread we got a lot "/shrugs" for the win column but lets see if y'all can come up with a creative one.
My leadoff:
Win will cause me to: Stop searching for curses to place on Rocky Lombardi
Loss will cause me to: Actually attempt one of the curses I found on Rocky Lombardi
Wall of Fame:
Our first wall of fame member is UofM Die Hard for his clever, game specific entry. Congrats UofM Die Hard you may collect your free internet points.
Washington winner:
Win will cause me to: Have a nice big pour of Basil Hayden, open all the windows, and blast the fight song.
Loss will cause me to: Shut off all the lights, still a big pour of Basil Hayden, and then probably wont leave the house for a week or so.
September 17th, 2021 at 9:17 PM ^
Win will cause me to: shrug my shoulders. It’s a MAC team. You’re supposed to be beat them.
Loss will cause me to: shrug my shoulders. It’s a MAC team. Of course we struggled with them. Fire Harbaugh.
September 17th, 2021 at 10:29 PM ^
Winner
September 18th, 2021 at 10:33 AM ^
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
September 17th, 2021 at 9:21 PM ^
Win will cause me to cackle with knowing glee build up anticipation for our first rival
Loss will cause me to rend all my garments (all of them)
September 17th, 2021 at 9:22 PM ^
Win will cause me to: Try to get some from the wife
Loss will cause me to: try to get some from the wife
September 17th, 2021 at 11:00 PM ^
"If she no give this you will a take. High five"
-borats
September 18th, 2021 at 4:20 AM ^
Very Nice!
Chingue!
September 17th, 2021 at 11:53 PM ^
I don't understand why you're being downvoted. Is it suddenly wrong to have sex with one's own wife?
September 18th, 2021 at 6:55 AM ^
He sounds like a cuk
September 18th, 2021 at 8:42 AM ^
Same........& Same! Smitty's wife is hawwwwwt!!
September 18th, 2021 at 9:15 AM ^
Good shit here. ?
September 17th, 2021 at 9:40 PM ^
Win will cause me to: get irrationally excited about a less daunting B1G schedule than anticipated
Loss will cause me to: look under the bed for Rocky Lombardi
September 17th, 2021 at 9:45 PM ^
A win? Nothing. It's NIU.
It changes absolutely nothing.
September 18th, 2021 at 6:10 AM ^
Wrong. Inappropriate. Shallow.
September 18th, 2021 at 10:35 AM ^
It’s not really wrong. NIU was projected to come in last place in the MAC. It might be a boring answer in the spirit of the question, but it’s certainly not wrong. Nothing to get excited over. Just win, stay healthy and move on to Rutgers
September 17th, 2021 at 9:53 PM ^
Win will cause me to: YELL ABOUT SOMETHING IRRATIONAL THAT I MAKE UP AS THE GAME GOES ALONG.
Loss will cause me to: Right the check for Harbaugh’s buyout, it’s what I’ve always wanted.
In all seriousness, I am at Riley Children’s Hospital was my son, whom my wife and I recently adopted. I’ll be happy to just watch the game and enjoy the outcome no matter what, but obviously I am expecting and hoping for a big win. I’d like to just have a fun day with my boy enjoying FOOT BAAAAWL as he yells in his little voice. That’s all a game is about. Yes I want Michigan to win championships and to play well. But wins are fun for me, and I want them to be fun for me and my son as he grows up. That’s the best part of it. It’s just a game that should be enjoyed.
September 18th, 2021 at 12:38 AM ^
You da man. Well wishes for the amazing journey ahead!
("...supposed to be fun..."....hahaha, good one!)
September 18th, 2021 at 6:15 AM ^
I worked Indy area inpatient pediatrics for many years-know/knew a lot of good Riley people. Best wishes to your family. Hope your time there goes well.
September 17th, 2021 at 9:59 PM ^
Win will cause me to: try to find a Rutger fan to talk smack to, which of course will fail miserably because there is no such thing as an actual Rutger fan.
Loss will cause me to: Consider whether recreational yodeling would be a better use of my fall Saturdays.
September 18th, 2021 at 6:58 AM ^
You need a loss to consider yodeling a more enjoyable hobby than wasting 4 hours watching people trying to kill each other and making mistakes half the time?
September 17th, 2021 at 10:04 PM ^
Win will cause me to buy playoff tickets
Loss will cause me to wait until after Wisconsin to buy playoff tickets.
September 17th, 2021 at 10:05 PM ^
Win will cause me to : be content but not happy till we beat Ohio
loss will cause me to: go rope shopping at Home Depot
September 17th, 2021 at 10:34 PM ^
Win will cause me to: binge watch Rocky I-IV
Loss will cause me to: watch Rocky V
September 17th, 2021 at 10:43 PM ^
Either way you’re watching Rocky L
September 17th, 2021 at 10:37 PM ^
Win: you better
lose: you better give it up
September 17th, 2021 at 10:42 PM ^
Win will cause me to have night sweats over and complain online for a week about what the offense didn’t do.
Loss will cause me to have night sweats over and complain online for a week about what the offense didn’t do.
September 17th, 2021 at 11:17 PM ^
Win will cause me to: dig deeper to find all the ways in which this team is still underperforming and wring my hands mercilessly until I get blisters, thereby preventing me from getting my hopes up as we head into B1G play.
Loss will cause me to: conduct a self-surgery to remove the part of my brain that understands football. Such a procedure will here to for be known as a “rocky lombardomy”
September 17th, 2021 at 11:22 PM ^
Win:
Cause me to sit around happy for hours doing nothing as if I accomplished something.
Loss:
Cause me to finally stop living vicariously through others and chase that amateur wrestling dream with ring name The Professor and special move The Quadratic Equation.
September 18th, 2021 at 9:33 AM ^
chase that amateur wrestling dream with ring name The Professor and special move The Quadratic Equation.
And then after pinning your opponent you can savagely tear off your shirt to reveal a giant Q.E.D. tattoo across your chest.
September 18th, 2021 at 2:02 PM ^
That's hilarious. Need you on the branding.
Seriously wrestling (among others) should get more nerdy like that. One Q E D and a few more kids may get excited in class and stay in school.
"Finish Him", get the Q E D. Boom goes the Dynamite. Ok I'll stop.
September 17th, 2021 at 11:23 PM ^
Win will cause me to - do nothing in particular really. The expectation is that they should win this one rather handily.
Loss will cause me to - spend the remainder of Saturday avoiding the blog so I can rinse out my colon with denatured alcohol.
September 18th, 2021 at 12:27 AM ^
Well the only thing that will move my needle these days is a Big Ten Championship… so nothing?
September 18th, 2021 at 1:11 AM ^
Win will cause me to: Ignore family for another week and read everything in MGoBlog
Loss will cause me to: Abandon MGOBLOG for at least a year, unsubscribe Live TV on HULU and spend more time with family.
Nothing clever, just what I would do. Can't handle a loss to NIU.
September 18th, 2021 at 1:37 AM ^
Win will cause to you watch football, a loss will cause me to watch football.
it’s football season.
September 18th, 2021 at 2:46 AM ^
Win: watch evening games with peace and ease
loss: watch evening games with bitter jealousy for every team and fan base that isn’t Michigan.
September 18th, 2021 at 3:24 AM ^
Win: yawn
Lose: break wind
But really, who am I kidding. At my age, I'm going to do both no matter what happens.
September 18th, 2021 at 7:01 AM ^
Hey!
Even if they lose
you can still walk around telling everybody you’re a “UMGrad” AND fart a lot
September 18th, 2021 at 6:21 AM ^
A win will cause me to enjoy my round of golf with good friends.
A loss will cause me to enjoy my round of golf with good friends.
Blessed be the game of golf.
Go Blue.
September 18th, 2021 at 7:38 AM ^
Ha! Oh no-I'm a lefty too!
September 18th, 2021 at 8:33 AM ^
Win: Shrug off the victory because its expected, while lamenting the state of the running game/passing game/defense/special teams/water boys/drum major - whichever had the worst game according to MGoBlog board posters.
Loss: There will be no loss today, even if Ricky Lombardi throws/catches for 500 yds.
September 18th, 2021 at 9:44 AM ^
Win will cause me to pick us apart for Wisconsin mentally.
Lose will cause me to, well, on to basketball.
September 18th, 2021 at 10:10 AM ^
Win: I’ll dissect the run/pass ratio.
Lose: I’ll ask when UM basketball practice starts.
September 18th, 2021 at 1:41 PM ^
Looks like the game is well in hand, but a win does nothing to move the needle. A loss would resurrect the calls to fire Harbaugh.