Tom Brady, Stand-Up Comedian?

Now that's funny!

Stick to football Tom and be funny when interviewed or commenting.

Tom!  You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia,' but only slightly less well-known is this: 'Never go into stand-up comedy when you're the GOAT!

Nothing like having a bale of FU money to sharpen one's focus.

From my limited understanding of the process, becoming a stand-up (for most people) requires years of open mics and lousy gigs to find your voice and learn how to do it effectively. This is fine if you're not a public figure.

Tom Brady bombing spectacularly would become a meme in about 15 minutes. What a nightmare. 

Probably a bad idea. In addition to the difficulty of the job, learning to do it requires LOTS of mistakes in front of people. It doesn't mean you're bad, it means you're learning. Fortunately for most stand-ups, it's in small venues in front of few people. But with Brady's fame, the small-time, low-key start is impossible.

[EDIT: PoseyHipster, above, just made this point.]

BUT if Brady wants to do it, why not? There are worse things in the world than getting embarrassed, and few better things in the world than trying new things.

This absolutely has to be fake news

i swear to god, i thought this was a (really lame) joke.

the list of interesting and / or funny things tom brady has said is just so small as to be nonexistent.

YOU SUCK BRADY!!

Is his trainer dude going to massage a bunch of jokes out of him?

What kind of comedian would he be? Observational humor? One-liners (like Rodney Dangerfield, Henny Youngman)? Prop comic? Amazing Jonathan? Would he work blue?

I don't expect him to be funny, but let's be real: if he went on tour with nothing but dad jokes, half the board would buy tickets just for kicks.

Break a leg, Tom!

Honestly...he doesn't seem particularly funny to me. But that doesn't mean he won't have good stuff. I've done a bunch of open mics and, it's definitely not easy.  And bombing certainly sucks.  But, occasionally you'll be chatting with other comics after the show and you'll be shocked to find out that some of the guys who killed are not actually funny. They can craft and deliver good bits but they're not particularly funny off the mic. So, it's possible that he could be decent at it? Similarly, the funniest person you know, who may be hilarious at parties or in conversation, could be terrible at stand-up. It's a strange world.

I wonder if Brady would be better as like a podcast or talk show host; that's also a rare and difficult skill but I wonder if that's an easier path for him.

Bet he can slay ‘em with this one:

What is the main difference between the people of Dubai & the people of Abu Dhabi?

The people of Dubai do not like The Flintstones, but the people of Abu Dhabi do.

Haven’t we learned by now to never doubt Tom Brady? Dude’s gonna practice his jokes to perfection. He’s probably watching film of all the greats as we speak. 

Good for him.  Lots of people are terrified of failure, especially when it’s right there on stage where there is nowhere to hide. 

Love me some G.O.A.T., but this would not end well.

Well, at least he can truthfully use the line "Take my wife, please."

Unpopular opinion perhaps but the next interesting or funny thing he says might be a first.  I struggle to think of anyone else who spent that much time at the forefront of something while saying absolutely nothing.

Perhaps he's been saving it all up for this.

Nothing but respect for Brady on this one.  
 

It’s one thing to be brave standing in the pocket knowing you are going to get hit and hitting windows most QBs cant hit even without pressure.  
 

Stand up is a completely different kind of bravery. Where your fear is you will suck, where success is that only 30% of your jokes may work, and where putting yourself out there is the only way to develop your craft.  

Brady was on Saturday Night Live many years ago and he was awful.  It wasn't too long after Peyton Manning was on and it killed me that Brady was so bad.  

He's rich enough that he can hire writers and comedy coaches, but I have a hard time believing it.

So what's the deal with Grape-Nuts? No grapes. No nuts. Could somebody please explain this?

Thanks folks, you've been a great crowd. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your server.