Paging Umbig11

Submitted by DTOW on July 2nd, 2019 at 3:23 PM

Throwing up the bat signal as we were promised some football notes after the CWS. Skin is crawling, cold sweats are starting, it’s July and the thirst for news is real. Inject it into our veins. 

ThePonyConquerer

July 2nd, 2019 at 3:29 PM ^

UMbig11 has no time for your tomfoolery.

 

Also question: How does UMbig11 get insider info from the football team?

Does he like work closer to the team or know someone on the inside?

GoBlue456

July 2nd, 2019 at 3:35 PM ^

I'm guessing UMBig11 is someone who works in the AD and his job is to provide just enough inside info on websites to keep the superfans excited. It's not like he's some guy holding the nuclear codes or anything.

I believe in the past he has claimed to be a guy living with a family in Baltimore as well as a "a guy who Tutors the athletes", so it's obviously someone bullshitting about who they really are.

SoIWontGetFined

July 2nd, 2019 at 6:34 PM ^

I met umbig11 once.  He's a ten-foot tall beast man who showers in vodka and feeds his babies shrimp scampi.  Best damn trader on the floor.  He went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million.  He got his wife pregnant and she gave birth to a delicious 16 oz sirloin.  The afterbirth was sauteed mushrooms.  Now that I think about it I may have him confused with someone else.

blahblahblahh

July 2nd, 2019 at 8:13 PM ^

I saw umbig11 at the M Den in Ann Arbor yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen jerseys in his hands without paying.


The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.


When she took one of the jerseys and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each jersey and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

GoBlue456

July 2nd, 2019 at 3:30 PM ^

He hasn't posted in a few days, so I'm sure he's sitting on a beach somewhere. Maybe best to wait until after the holiday weekend?

Bill22

July 2nd, 2019 at 7:21 PM ^

You're gonna stand there, ownin' a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser?

mjv

July 2nd, 2019 at 4:27 PM ^

It all depends on your perspective. 

I think Mr. Buckeye (or possibly Mr. Crimson Tide) redefining the term "crotch rocket" was a great idea.  I got a healthy laugh.  He's sanitized the gene pool. 

And I hit the "Reply" button at just the right moment such that the gif froze just as the explosion peaked.  Made the whole thing even funnier.

now from his perspective...