Our New "Rival" - Satire from the Rice Thresher
Happen to still be in Houston and on Rice's campus today. Grabbed a copy of the student-run newspaper, the Rice Thresher. Apparently their backpage is dedicated to satire, and today's backpage declares that "Rice and Michigan Are Now Rivals" since our coming to town raised their ticket prices back to campus. (LOL) There are a few funny bits but you can decide for yourself if the joke lands or not!
January 10th, 2024 at 11:48 AM ^
I'll allow it. Game on, Rice!
January 10th, 2024 at 11:54 AM ^
BOIL RICE!!
January 10th, 2024 at 1:10 PM ^
No no no...you gotta STEAM RICE!!!
January 10th, 2024 at 12:55 PM ^
WHY DOES RICE PLAY TEX...michigan? MICHIGAN! no, seriously, why? I don't understand
-Future President
January 10th, 2024 at 1:16 PM ^
Loveland's from Idaho, whose license plates say (said?) "Famous Potatoes."
Maybe we should ask him if he's had riced potatoes.
January 10th, 2024 at 11:51 AM ^
I went to the pep rally at the Rice basketball arena. They raise banners for their Rhodes scholars. Michigan should absolutely do the same. (Not joking -- it was very cool). No shame stealing from a rival. ;)
January 10th, 2024 at 12:44 PM ^
We pre-gamed in Rice Village at Little Woodrow's. Great advice given to me by one of our Houston MgoBrethren as the place was packed with both Michigan and Washington fans and had a nice patio area. Fortunately the rain held off so we were able to enjoy the place.
FWIW Washington fans were very cool and had nothing but good things to say about Michigan, especially those that made the trip to AA last year. Time and time again I had Huskie fans comment on how much they enjoyed their trip and how well they were treated.
I told them I was glad they had a good time and to not expect the same thing when they travel to Columbus.
January 10th, 2024 at 11:53 AM ^
Fun fact: first game I took my wife (and now mother of our 8 children) to was against Rice in 1999. It was not... competitive. But she loved it!
We played again, the next year, with similar result.
Let the rivalry resume!
January 10th, 2024 at 12:08 PM ^
Their band was fun. I think Joe-Bob Thompson was on that team, if I'm remembering the two games they played in Ann Arbor correctly. I still remember Howard King announcing his name straight.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:16 PM ^
If I remember their band did a spoof of the Naked Mile at halftime. Of course that's what I remember.
January 10th, 2024 at 1:30 PM ^
I remember the 1999 or 2000 game against Rice only for their marching band, which stood in formation on the field to spell out some simple derivative, something like d/dx(x)=1 or something like that. Clever.
January 10th, 2024 at 1:58 PM ^
They also said "This show is brought to you by the letters R and C and the numbers i and e," which I thought was very clever.
January 10th, 2024 at 2:00 PM ^
The 1999 Rice game was (sadly) the last game I attended in person. My Dad and I made it a Michigan sports weekend by attending the Tigers game the night before and see Tiger Stadium one last time. Hopefully I can get to a game next season but can't say for sure yet.
January 10th, 2024 at 2:48 PM ^
If I remember correctly, their tubas had giant tongues hanging out of them, that band was awesome
January 10th, 2024 at 11:55 AM ^
Michigan is 3-3 against Bama with the losses in mid-tier bowl games and during probably Bama’s best season of Saban’s six championships.
January 10th, 2024 at 11:56 AM ^
Please direct all corrections to [email protected].
January 10th, 2024 at 12:00 PM ^
Bastards are trolling us already. Next thing you know, they will replace all of their M's with R's.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:00 PM ^
We also missed 2 PATs this year (ECU, Bama). [email protected] is sadly not pulling their weight for Rice's top-20 USNews ranking.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:02 PM ^
Edit #1 based on JMBlue's comment. Yeah you're right, my bad. Leaving the rest here just for the list. But I was misreading the OP comment.
Ranking the games by significance:
2024 Rose Bowl (M wins)
2000 Orange Bowl (M wins)
2012 Regular season opener at Jerry World (Bama wins)
2020 Citrus Bowl (Bama wins)
1997 Outback Bowl (Bama wins)
1988 Hall of Fame Bowl (M wins)
Edit #2: Wins updated per NittanyFan's comment. Thanks.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:08 PM ^
Flip the last 2 (in terms of who won).
January 10th, 2024 at 12:19 PM ^
I think you are misreading that - he's saying that we lost to them in mid-tier bowls ('97 Outback, '20 Citrus) and in the regular season to arguably Saban's best team (2012).
Btw, we won in '88 on a last-minute TD pass.
In '97 we were ahead in the fourth quarter and knocking on the door when Griese threw a brutal pick-six that was returned 90 or so yards to completely turn the game around.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:28 PM ^
The 88 game was the one Moeller coached for Bo while he was recovering from surgery. John Kolesar caught the TD pass.
I forgot about the 97 game but now that you describe it I remember the Griese interception and how everything went down hill after that. It made me skeptical going into the 1997 season but we all know how that turned out.
January 10th, 2024 at 11:55 AM ^
The Michigan Daily should respond.
It is so on.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:04 PM ^
...or the...uh...every 3...weekly?
January 10th, 2024 at 11:56 AM ^
We are not 2-3 against Alabama. We are 3-3. So they still have the better record.
Also, yes, yes, it's all jokes but we did not ask to play this game in Houston. Blame the CFP.
Also also, we're 2-0 vs. Rice.
1999: 37-3
2000: 38-7
Eat it, Owls.
January 10th, 2024 at 11:57 AM ^
If Michigan did ever play a team in Texas, they should schedule SMU who plays in the
GERALD FORD STADIUM.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:03 PM ^
Well we have a home and home scheduled with Texas right now. We'll see if that trip to Austin ever happens.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:28 PM ^
I suspect it will. It sounds like it was a big part of the Texas-to-the-SEC negotiations.
Despite what some here seem to think, ESPN loves getting to broadcast Michigan games, because they know it's a guaranteed ratings draw.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:04 PM ^
The first annual Death Penalty Death Match?
January 10th, 2024 at 11:57 AM ^
I was the Michigan football game against Rice back in the early 2000s. It wasn't competitive at all, but the main memory is that they had a player with the name "Jim-Bob" and the crowd had a fun time with that.
January 10th, 2024 at 11:58 AM ^
I love this. You will rue the day, Rice Owls. You will rue the day.
January 10th, 2024 at 11:59 AM ^
Note to UConn: THIS is how you create a grassroots rivalry.
The fact that UCF left the trophy on the field after beating UConn, sent it back to Connecticut, and asked UConn not to bring it to the next game…will be the ONLY positive thing I’ll say about Scott Frost
January 10th, 2024 at 12:01 PM ^
They aren't going to leave some voodoo items in our end zone like major rival Rutger did, hopefully.
January 10th, 2024 at 2:12 PM ^
Didn't they leave it at some high school field?
January 10th, 2024 at 2:17 PM ^
might’ve been, it was terrifying, nonetheless
January 10th, 2024 at 12:01 PM ^
"Buy out all plane tickets back to Ann Arbor (prepare your wallets because they will probably be flying business)". LOL!
January 10th, 2024 at 12:33 PM ^
Not really sure how that hits as satire against Michigan...
January 10th, 2024 at 12:05 PM ^
Nice work, Rice. I'll take something like that over "Michigan Monday" or a stream of RCMB comments ("scUM! Huh, huh! Get it?")
January 10th, 2024 at 12:06 PM ^
"They will probably be flying business" was my favorite line. That's some respect!
January 10th, 2024 at 12:20 PM ^
They shall pay for stealing Sam McGuffie from Michigan!
January 10th, 2024 at 12:29 PM ^
Either that or we should pay them for saving him from being dismembered playing for Rich Rod.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:28 PM ^
I was a grad student at Rice in the early 90s, and it's nice to see that the Backpage hasn't changed. Back then you could get into football games free with a student ID, so we would often take a break from studio to see the MOB a halftime. They are the marching equivalent to the Backpage. Rice also had a "rivalry" with Texas A&M like ours with Rutgers, except that Rice got the joke.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:30 PM ^
I'm not sure how often an Owl and Wolverine face each other in nature.
But, if it's on the gridiron - let's bring it on!
And - my respect for all AAU institutions - with a good sense of humor. Rice fits that description.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:31 PM ^
Joe Bob Thompson approves this message
January 10th, 2024 at 12:32 PM ^
Finally, revenge after they took Sam McGuffie
I bet you thought we forgot!
January 10th, 2024 at 12:36 PM ^
I bet that Rice is one of a tiny number of opponents who can claim they've played more than one game against the Tide and are undefeated against them.
January 10th, 2024 at 2:00 PM ^
They are the only ones. A lot of 1-0s, but no one else with more than one win.
January 10th, 2024 at 12:40 PM ^
At last, a rival who is also an academic peer.
So when we meet fans of the rival, we can stop asking them whey they went to (OSU/MSU), was it because they couldn't get into a good school?
January 10th, 2024 at 12:45 PM ^
Sam McGuffie approves