OT: The path not taken. A thread for reflection and regrets
Lately I've been thinking about a few decisions in my life that led me to where I am today.
Is there a single event or decision that changed your life, for good or bad, which sticks out in your memory? Did you make the right decision? If you had to do it over again would you turn left instead of right?
I've made too many mistakes to count, but my biggest regret is my choice of career. I was a pretty good DJ (radio, not unce unce unce) and lately I've been thinking I should have stuck with it instead of selling my soul to a bank.
... Can't say I know that pain. My brother had a similar situation. When it ended with the girl, when he realized all he had sacrificed for nothing, that was a rough year.
Hope you've shaken all that badness off.
I should have rejected women for their inability to enjoy sex.
Could it have been your technique?
Practice makes everything better sure, but unfortunately that is simply an additional sacrifice where creativity and trust are limited. I have found life much easier with someone who even after seven years still routinely uses magic and penis in the same sentence (and she is usually even referring to me). I wish I had moved along to this more rapidly. Although thinking about it now I suppose I am really expressing more appreciation than regret.
Whatever...bottom line is make sure your lady likes your cock. The best ones do.
Ok, I'll buy that.
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You weren't the only one. I was probably doomed before that, but it certainly didn't help.
I took Dez, next pick was Julio. At the time it seem like such a good idea....
Two years ago I quit my dead-endish job, moved back home to save money, and started back at school full time. Fast forward to today (a few weeks from now actually) and I'll be officially done with school and am already in a job that is 10x better than the one I quit. The only real regret I have with the whole ordeal is working the first few years after HS instead of going straight to college.
This is too real.
I came here to see a recruiting news not cry
Are there feelings besides regret?
There's also guilt, sorrow, and pain.
Geez, Hatter, you sound like a country-western song...
the dogs, and trucks, and beer. Now it's a country song
Mama
or trains
or trucks
or prison
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Regrets: Giving up baseball after a Bill Buckner moment in a little league championship game; treating my first girlfriend so poorly.
Good decisions: Choosing my girlfriend who is now my wife over a job offer at a top law firm in chicago (non-lawyer at the time); working through marital problems when others were telling me to cut bait; paying off debt.
I wish I had filed for divorce much sooner. I was too afraid the ex would get custody (living in Bama at the time where "little girls need ta be with their momma" is a valid defence in court).
I waited much too long as the self-destructive behavior went on (which built my case for me).
If I had acted in time, my baby girl might still be alive.
Oh my god.
Jesus.
Sorry to hear
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I believe I remember your story. So sad.
Enraged.
That's the same legalistic bullshit that put me with my apathetic mother and her pathetic husband. My dad eventually got custody but not until my self-confidence and ability to form meaningful relationships was nearly destroyed. And this was in MI, not AL, fwiw.
It's got to be that breakfast burrito from 7-11 this morning.
You're good as long as you stay away from the sushi.
sushi from a gas station is NOT a good choice?
Depends on the effects of the breakfast burrito.
During my senior year at UM, I really wrestled with whether I should continue on to law school (which was the plan), or become a pilot (lifelong dream). I ended up taking the test with the Navy and did really well. But, the class for flight school was full, and I would have had to wait at least a year for a shot. I opted to go to law school.
There are times now where I really wish I had gone the other way. But, if I had, I would not have met my wife, and I would not have my children. I am very content with where I'm at. So, yeah, there's a little regret, but it still worked out extremely well.
I got as far as a letter saying I had been accepted to AOCS in Pensacola, but in the end I did not get to go. I was already out of school and was a CPA.
In the end, it worked out well. I know own a software company and have my own plane that I fly into Ann Arbor (from Alabama) for some of the home games.. Moral of the story: I may not be flying jets, but I am flying and having fun. Mgolund, don't give up on the thought of flying!
I regret not sticking it out and going and getting a Masters and PhD in History right after undergrad. I'd much rather be teaching college level history than what I'm doing now.
At my first job out of undergrad (mid '90s), I had a 9x80 work schedule meaning I worked 80 hours over 9 business days and then had every other Friday off. I had this for 4 years and didn't miss a single one of those Fridays off. If you ask me today what I did with those Fridays, I have absolutely no idea. That's 104 days that I was free to do whatever I wanted and as far as I can recall, I just wasted them away. I had no responsibilities beyond keeping myself bathed and fed. If I could go back and do it again, I think I would have focused on learning to play in instrument.
"Follow your heart" is a very overrated notion. Our feelings are unreliable and often lead us in directions that are against our best interests.
My main regret is just following whatever feelings or lack thereof I had for years in high school and early college. Wasted a lot of time, endured a lot of self-inflicted heartache, rotted out my character for no good reason.
Not regretted at all: Change of life priority in 2002. Marrying my wife. Having my kids. Pursuing my calling/vocation.
And it was the biggest mistake I ever made.
Never again.
your heart is a bit higher up on your body....
The trick is getting your head and heart on the same page.
my best friend and roommate was in the hospital for some medical complications. He called and said that he was feeling better, so I decided not to vist that day. He passed away that night, and to this day it really haunts me that I did not go visit. There is what you do, and what you should do. I should have went to see him, instead I was selfish, hence the regret.
We were both seniors, set to graduate and go on to grad school together...
when I was a senior in high school, I was really thinking I was going to be a fireman. Unfortunately I let a few people talk me out of it. Told me it was really hard to get a full time gig in Michigan. Now 15 years later as a desk riding paper pusher, I have a lot of what ifs. Honestly though, pretty sure like 99% of the population is in the same boat. Gotta move on and enjoy what you do have!
I was in the process of being medically retired and my brother and his wife had a close friend that works in the Secret Service. Due to my injuries, I was still able to work in law enforcement and such. I talked to this mutual friend and he sent me the Federal Service Employment application and told me to fill it out and he will personally walk it thru the process. He stated that my qualifications are more than sufficient to ensure I'm hired. Instead, I got a job at the Post Office and began to lead a dull and routine life. I often think what could have been had I chose the other road but at that time I was so tired of dealing with firearms and weapons that I didn't want to be part of that lifestyle any longer. I was specifially marked for the CS (Counter-Sniper) team which would have been pretty cool. But again, at that time, I was done with weapons.
I mean.........your name and so on
It's my old unit. Weapons Company, 1st Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment
Sidenote: I haven't fired a weapon in over 15 years (not-with-standing the few years that I was allowed to re-enter service during Gulf War II) and I own many rifles/pistols
just being a wise ass. Thank you for your service to our country!
It's hard to say as I'm happy with where I am right now, so any regrets about choices in my life path may have pushed me down a road I wouldn't be as happy with.
I debated sharing this but, what the hell, the board is mostly anonymous and for some reason I feel the need to get this off my chest.
If anything what I regret most is disconnecting emotionally from one of my sisters when her illness(late On-Set Tay-Sachs) took her over and turned her into a completely different person when she was 18. She lived for almost ten more years but was basically a shell of herself and in my mind I had grieved her death and moved on, but someone in her body was still there, it just wasn't really her anymore. Both my other sister and I did the same thing in disconnecting emotionally and it wasn't right and I know it bothers my mother to this day, but it's hard when you are not responsible for someone's care and you can't talk to them because they can't carry on conversations(she would sit and smile a lot and could do low level tasks), aren't sure if they know who you are anymore, and are risks to be violent. I often wonder if this is how it is when dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer's in that the physical shell is there, but who the person was is just.....gone. In any case, some day I am going to have to tell my kids the whole story about the Aunt they never met and I am really not looking forward to that as it doesn't have a happy ending and reveals something about my character I wish it didn't.
I also regret the times I could have been nicer. I wasn't popular growing up but I still had a few moments in which I mercilessly teased some perfectly nice people and to this day it still eats at me. There are also the "I wish I was more patient with my kids" level regrets.
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The two greatest gifts that changed my life for the better. Obtaining a security clearance and and joining the Navy. Set me on a path to success.
After I graduated from UM in Aerospace Engineering, I took a temporary job with a civil engineering firm while I applied to grad schools. After summer and fall, I went to grad school at Purdue for Aerospace in January, and loved it. Came home for the summer and worked at the same civil firm "temporarily". During that time, my fiance's father was opening a business, and she was going to work with him. I had 1 year left (fall and spring semesters) and we were going to be married in December, which sucked that we would be living apart being married, but it was only for a couple of months, and then we would be able to move wherever I got a job in Aerospace.
Well, about 4 weeks before I was going to be returning to Purdue, 2 things simultaneously occurred:
-Fiance decides she wants to stay where we grew up and work with her dad indefinitely - There are no aerospace jobs in the area, so it was kind of a big deal
-Civil firm offers me a permanent position with, at the time, a preety lucrative salary
So, I had to decide between essentially my fiance and my career goals...we will be married 14 years this December.
I often think how different my life would have been had I finished grad school and gone into Aerospace engineering instead of sticking with civil, but then I look at the 3 kids we have and how much they have enjoyed growing up around family, and it makes it better.
I still REALLY miss rockets though...
Not sure when exactly this all happened, but the Aerospace job market has been in the toilet since pretty much the 80s.
Graduated in 2001. Civil has been a hard gig this past decade as well. The housing bubble had quite the trickle down.
I hear you. Compliance work is probably the least exciting thing I've ever done with my life. I got out of the bank I worked for (one of the largest in the country) because I knew it was only a matter of time before my job would be transitioned to India. Now I'm with an enterprise compliance unit that is at least somehwat more exciting with a non-publicly traded company. But it still mostly blows.
So, yeah, some days I do regret not sticking with the 10 person company that I worked for before the bank. Back then I could take my dog to work most days, I was out in the city taking pictures and designing various projects for all sorts of clients. The owners stocked the fridge with beer at least a couple times a month for Friday afternoons.. life was pretty good. My band was playing solid gigs and we had written about 20 songs. But 2008-2009 almost killed the business off, my hours got cut, and I had to take a job in a kitchen to repay my student loans. 50-60 hour weeks are quite draining after a couple years, and I wasn't saving anything.
I did what was practical, joined a big bank working entry-level call center jobs for a couple years and my position was eliminated. Caught a break and stayed with the company in a compliance role for a couple years and now I'm married with 2 kids. Life is... vanilla. Some days I wonder, "is this it?"