OT: Into the Jaws of the Enemy (Or my wife's first trip to the Horseshoe)

“Heres some tickets hun.  Hope the 4 of you have fun!”

Also hoping for a Rockets victory, but this year probably won't be it.

why did you marry an OSU fan in the first place? Bleh

OSU fans can't read so they were likely triggered by Toledo's color scheme 

Hopefully, you also got half the family shirts to wear to the game that say "42-27".

This is tricky.  To begin, you have to realize they are going to have the area heavily fortified.  I would not expect to just drive right into a parking spot, here.  Second, you want to use some deception in terms of precisely when and where you are going to arrive.  It might not be a bad idea to use a decoy vehicle first.  Third, you should be heavily armed.  Primary weapon and one on your ankle at least, and a vest is probably advisable.

Come on man, it is a September football game against Toledo.  Park in a junky parking lot nearby for $30 and walk to the stadium.

Sounds like a blast. Spend several hundred dollars, endure harassment, risk life, limb, damage to car, and then have to listen to those deadbeats cheer for their loathsome team.  I'd rather chew my arm off and beat myself with it.  Good luck!

If I were you I would not wear any Toledo gear. UM gear should work. Also, you can use the whole stadium as a toilet. Just kidding...

Have fun at the game. I am sure you guys will have a blast.

Look at the bright side. They are going to win and your wife will be happy. Isn't that the most important thing in the world?

You lost me when you said, "My OSU friends..."

Well, it has been 18 years since I've attended a game there, so my advice will be limited, but the few times I went I parked northwest of the Stadium across the 315 on Lane Ave. Do they still have lots of parking there? What's the cost? I have no idea. That's just what worked for me, YMMV. If you go early enough (and I recommend that quite a bit) you should be fine to spend a little time looking for the right place. Other thoughts:

First of all, be prepared to be feel ill at multiple points through the day. It is genuinely stomach-churning to see all the paraphernalia and hear the cheers and fight songs and such. 

Second of all, determine to have a good time anyway, because college football is America's greatest game, and it can genuinely be fun to enjoy all that stuff. Go early enough to see the marching band, enjoy watching the game play out on the field, laugh at any boneheaded OSU mistake you can find (they will not be frequent but laugh anyway). Appreciate the fact that we get to watch this great sport in person and that there really isn't anything quite like it, whether it's Ann Arbor or Baton Rouge or College Station or Knoxville or even, gulp, there.

My Toledo Rockets experience took place the Friday night at a home game upset of Colorado before UTL1.  Went on a whim - walked up and paid $50 for (2) tickets.  Student section was rocking.  Walking into the game invited to beer bong from Rocket fans we never met.  Great win for the Rockets.  Of course sitting in the student section for UTL1 and making the ND fan stay for over an hour after that last 90 seconds is an incredible Michigan memory.

Great weekend!

Do they let you bring unopened non-alchoholic drinks into The Shitter?  If so bring 3 cans of pop and a pillow case.

Drive around campus until you find a strong foul smell that's something like hot plastic, poop, and maybe a little bit of ammonia. Where the smell is the strongest there you will find the most epic tailgating...er parking spot. 

Live long and prosper my friend!

As someone who is a UofM fan and has 3 kids who went to Michigan but lives 1.5 miles from the horseshoe, I can kind of help you out. Last game I went to was the 2016 stolen game. The OSU fans were not mean even though we were wearing Michigan gear. I would recommend you park on West Campus and take the bus to the Stadium. Good luck and Go Rockets!

It makes sense you’re repping Toledo, having played and all.

But if you want to deprogram your wife from her unfortunate cult, wear maize & blue and she’ll see the true nature of those who’ve deluded her.

ALSO you’ll need to sit a few seats from her. If you’re next to her, they’ll pity her and only give you the “polite” treatment. (Notice easyE got off easy(E) because he had kids with him.)