Messages to Chad Carr
MGoUsers I need your help. One of the clubs I'm in here at U of M is making a couple cards with messages to Chad Carr that we're going to drop off later tonight or tomorrow. So I'm calling the MGoBoard to see if you have any ideas for messages that we should put in the cards.
November 17th, 2015 at 2:54 PM ^
Fuck Cancer!
... too much?
November 17th, 2015 at 2:55 PM ^
You're not alone.
We stand together with you.
Good on you and your club.
November 17th, 2015 at 2:56 PM ^
Whatever is genuine and comes from your heart. If you want to know the details of what the family is going through, go to Tammi Curtis Carr's facebook page. she's been pretty open with sharing and I admire her faith and strength during these times.
November 17th, 2015 at 3:09 PM ^
but if I were in their situation, I wouldn't want too much attention. I'd just want to be able to spend time with my family. I know they've been very gracious, but please keep in mind that your intentions might be good but they might just want to spend personal time with their son at some point.
November 17th, 2015 at 3:10 PM ^
We're not going to knock on the door; we're just going to drop off the letters in the mailbox. I completely understand your point about their privacy.
November 17th, 2015 at 3:18 PM ^
I was trying hard to make it clear that this wasn't meant to be an attack or even intended exclusively for this idea, just a point that I haven't seen made very much.
November 17th, 2015 at 3:49 PM ^
is very active on social media and I think they are interested in promoting awareness for this cause, more than drawing attention. I understand what you're saying, I would likely prefer to deal alone, but I think it is probably touching that so many people care and are willing to offer them and their son words of encouragement.
November 17th, 2015 at 4:24 PM ^
I have to think the the outpouring of support would help. Obviously they need their space, but the cards, balloons, anything to show how much we care is a good thing. There has to be a huge hole growing inside of each member of that family. While the kindness of strangers can never measure up to what they will lose, something is better than nothing.
There is nothing on Earth worse than being helpless when you know that a kid is going through something like this. I don't speak from experience, but I genuinely get upset thinking about it.
November 17th, 2015 at 4:12 PM ^
One of Chad’s favorite activities is opening the reams of mail and boxes.
This was stated in the September article linked on their website. Sorry I do not know how to embed it. But I would assume they still appreciate the mail so I think this is a great idea.
http://www.chadtough.org/news/chad-carr-battling-tumor-for-a-year-set-f…
November 17th, 2015 at 3:14 PM ^
He is just a little boy. I wouldn't get too deep. Maybe something simple like, "Stay strong and we love you!"
November 17th, 2015 at 3:21 PM ^
Last week when the post to send him a card went viral, I wanted to send something as it's the least I could do for such a brave young boy. At the same time, I struggled with what to say.
I read on the foundation website under the bio tab that he was an animal lover. I ended up just sending him a picture of my golden retriever puppy and introducing him to Chad. Ended the card by saying that I hoped Maize (our dog) brings a smile to his face today.
November 17th, 2015 at 3:14 PM ^
"You inspire Michigan fans everywhere by fighting this cancer with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind!"
November 17th, 2015 at 3:14 PM ^
Dusty in here.
Stay strong, Chad!
November 17th, 2015 at 3:18 PM ^
November 17th, 2015 at 3:25 PM ^
makes the choice to enter hospice they do so knowing full well what the outcome will be. Speaking for my family all we wanted to do was spend time with family and close friends.
Its nice that people want to offer support but in truth that time passed, Chad's fight will soon be over just let the family enjoy his final days in peace.
November 17th, 2015 at 3:59 PM ^
Does anyone have the family's address so I can mail a card?
November 17th, 2015 at 4:19 PM ^
From all of us in the Michigan family to Chad Carr, the bravest Wolverine:
You're a true Michigan Man now and forever.
GO CHAD! GO BLUE!
November 17th, 2015 at 4:29 PM ^
Look at how many people are at a Michigan home game . All of them and more are wishing you our best . You have more friends and family then you know Chad . We all wish you the best .
I know thats not exactly the best phrasing as Im no English major, but maybe something along those lines ?
November 17th, 2015 at 4:30 PM ^
I suppose I'd have a message for Chad's parents. I don't know where I'd even begin for Chad.
And I suppose my message to Chad's parents would be I'm so, so, sorry for what you're going through.
And that I am so thankful for them sharing their experience with their son with all of us, because it makes me appreciate so much what a gift having my own children near me is, and that every moment with them is not a given.
And that I've hugged my children, smiled at my children, opened pointless conversations with them, so many times recently each time because of Chad, so that I can savor whatever time I might have with them a little bit more. Sincerely, I thank you for that.
November 17th, 2015 at 4:55 PM ^
November 17th, 2015 at 4:56 PM ^
November 17th, 2015 at 5:05 PM ^
So keep it simple, keep it positive, and keep it about him:
Examples -
I hope your early Christmas was fun. Thinking of you!
Sorry that you're sick, and hope you're doing well.
Etc.
As far as the parents, having been through some similar issues (with a positive outcome), it's best just to say you're sorry for what they're going through. You could also mention that Chad's fire and courage have been inspirational, and that the family's grace through this ordeal has been impressive to see.
DO NOT tell them (real examples): (1) Everything will be OK, (2) About your experience with illness, (3) everything happens for a reason, or (4) any other trite bullshit that could be taken as trying to make you feel good.
November 17th, 2015 at 7:18 PM ^
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November 17th, 2015 at 5:43 PM ^
Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
November 17th, 2015 at 5:52 PM ^
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November 17th, 2015 at 5:53 PM ^
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November 17th, 2015 at 9:30 PM ^
November 17th, 2015 at 5:55 PM ^
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November 17th, 2015 at 7:48 PM ^
Having lost my son last year, I feel like I have a reasonable perspective to share. I agree with much of the advice already stated, but will add (and reinforce):
- Anything that requires no response or work is a good thing. Cards, trinkets dropped off at the house, electronic messages, etc. are all fine. The family can choose how much (or if) they engage with any of this stuff.
- Not really a problem for those of us who aren't personal friends of the Carr family, but do not expect a response. It doesn't mean the gesture wasn't appreciated. (Of course, if you DO get some sort of response, be gracious.)
- Don't push your belief system. You don't know what their specific beliefs are re: death and dying, afterlife, miracles, etc. Also, these things sometimes change during times like this. Best to steer clear.
- Simple words of support are often the best. Be honest, and if you can be specific. If you talked about Chad and his story to your kids / friends / etc., share that. If you were inspired to donate or spread awareness, share that.
- DON'T ever say anything that starts with "at least"
- DON'T ever say "I couldn't go through this" or any variation on that theme.
- If you are inspired to send a gift to the family - gift cards are a good way to go about it. Food and Amazon are good if you want to do something besides donate to the Chad Tough Foundation.
- I love seeing my son's name random places. If you wrote #chadtough somewhere or somehow cool, a pic of that would probably go over well (on social media or in print with a card).
November 17th, 2015 at 8:07 PM ^
Something simple like "Go Blue", "Beat OSU", "Happy Thanksgiving", "Merry Christmas", "Thinking of You".
November 17th, 2015 at 8:11 PM ^
November 17th, 2015 at 9:12 PM ^
November 18th, 2015 at 10:04 AM ^
Sad to say I know precisely what the Carr family is going through as I lost my first son at the tender age of just 9 months. We, too, had to make the seemingly impossible decision to bring Hospice into our family. Rest assured, everyone, that most any well intentioned message will be taken for that which it is. There really is nothing that can be said that will immediately bring solace. That comes in time, a long, long time.
So don't overthink it. simple and well intentioned messages go a long way.
Mine would be: "Chad, You are a Champion!"
Keep the whole family in your thoughts. As many before me have said, this situation is about as difficult as it gets.
November 18th, 2015 at 11:10 AM ^
Chad also has 2 brothers, CJ and Tommy.
From the "Pray for Chad Carr" FB page, Tammi wrote "The older boys know . . . and they are doing ok. We think CJ has really understood for a while but the realization for Tommy has been more difficult. Please pray hard for both of them. Pray for them to feel peace and have amazing strength, they are such wonderful boys."
As a nurse, I always try to recognize all family members in difficult situations, especially young siblings. They struggle to understand everything, and need support too. I'm not certain, but think it may be nice to send a card of encouragement to Chad's brothers. That we are thinking of them and admire their strength as big brothers. Something positive. Hope this is helpful.