Know Your Neighbors - Mich Edition
November 20th, 2012 at 4:24 PM ^
Perhaps that we have the debonair disposition which allows many of us to pull off wearing an ascot.
Also, upon our first football meeting, we will come at them like a spider monkey all jacked up on mountain dew. This action will hardly dishevel our said ascots.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:24 PM ^
November 20th, 2012 at 4:26 PM ^
I have a feeling that Rutgers and Maryland fans won't like much of anyone in the B1G, since they aren't likely to get too warm of a welcome.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:31 PM ^
Yeah...I hate them already. I will treat all Maryland/Rutgers fans like they have cooties and shun them, just like I treat girls
November 20th, 2012 at 4:28 PM ^
Please don't adopt the "Ohio" moniker.
It is stupid.
November 20th, 2012 at 7:32 PM ^
coming from Hoke. But how people here wring some much enjoyment out of something so trivial is definitely a head-scratcher.
November 20th, 2012 at 8:46 PM ^
understand why he calls it "stupid".
1) Most buildings on campus have the term O-h-i-o.
2) The band scripts the term O-h-i-o.
3) The crowd always spells O-h-i-o. Probably because they cannot spell staee correctly.
4) Fans from around the world line up in a rediculous formation and do a Village People rendition of O-h-i-o.
November 20th, 2012 at 11:53 PM ^
I agree it is stupid, and from now on I will take it for granted that Buckeye fans are being deliberately offensive when they don't refer to us as THE...........................University of Michigan. /s
November 20th, 2012 at 4:40 PM ^
We think of you as the entry point to a media market, at best, or a cash-strapped parasite that doesn't know how to play football very well, at worst! Like Indiana and Purdue if we'd never met them and they just showed up at our house drunk and grimy and sat down for dinner!
Nice to meet you!
November 20th, 2012 at 6:50 PM ^
Interesting. I think Maryland at Rutgers are at best cash-strapped parasites and at worst are going to set off a series of dominos that will ultimately have a very negative impact on college football.
Seriously, my hope is for them to play Minnesota level football in a stadium half-full of opposition fans. It's ludicrous to expect them to play championship football or to actually increase viewership / BTN subscribers in the New York or DC or any TV market.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:45 PM ^
sinuous.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:50 PM ^
November 20th, 2012 at 4:55 PM ^
But if you can't make it to EL while you're driving through Ohio, remove all hymnals from coolers and proceed to poop.
November 20th, 2012 at 5:11 PM ^
I thought it was a dump.
But if you have done this, you may want to take some penicillin.
November 20th, 2012 at 7:33 PM ^
would not have received a buncha pluses. Bisb was right.
November 20th, 2012 at 4:56 PM ^
There was a Rutgers fan on Reddit already talking about their disdain for Ohio.
"But though the reception has been mostly negative, most B1G fanbases have been generally welcoming... with the exception of one.
Ohio State.
Haven't even been in this conference one minute [officially] and I've come to see why it's so easy to hate them."
I think we are well on our way
November 20th, 2012 at 5:00 PM ^
November 20th, 2012 at 5:23 PM ^
November 20th, 2012 at 5:27 PM ^
Us and Nebraska are the coolest. Wisconsin fans are pretty awesome too. Michigan State, Ohio State, and Penn State are some of the most unenjoyable sports fans to be around.
Welcome and enjoy your stay... Btw Maryland, I'm looking at you, get rid of those ugly uniforms.
November 21st, 2012 at 9:52 AM ^
All the Penn State fans I've met have been cool if you ignore the god treatment of Paterno
November 20th, 2012 at 7:01 PM ^
Just dig up some Mitch Albom cliche he writes every time a Michigan team has success. I know it's hard to believe, but people outside of Michigan actually like that guy. So a column where there are tons of elipses and references to the following should satisfy those Marylanders and Rutgerites pretty good: Vernors, pointing at your hand to show people where Ann Arbor is, Sanders, Zingermans, being north of Canada.
November 20th, 2012 at 5:32 PM ^
I'm sure the 34 combined fans of Maryland and Rutgers will really appreciate reading this, especially the 4 fans who actually decided to read this...
November 20th, 2012 at 7:10 PM ^
So we're reaching over 11% of their fans? That seems pretty good!
November 20th, 2012 at 5:40 PM ^
The funny/sad thing is last night, I told my family that Rutgers and Maryland were joining the Big Ten.
For the blank looks I got, I might have said The University of Zaphod and Beeblebrox College.
To answer your question, I might introduce the Big Ten:
1) We think the East Coast is flyover country. If we can't get a non-stop to Florida in the Winter, we might fly over you to connect in Philadelphia.
2) We also think all the small little states crammed together are really boroughs of New York. (really - how can you be a state if it takes less time to cross than going from Saginaw to Grand Rapids?) And your whole population fits into Time Square on New Years Eve.
3) We didn't know until this week you had football. All East Coast colleges have hockey, lacrosse and basketball only. We thought only Harvard and Yale had football.
4) Our helmets have wings and our state is shaped like two mittens. Maryland, your hemlet looks like something from wonderland and your state is shaped like something burned on the bottom of the oven.
5) We eat cheese and bratwurst and deep dish pizzas and other manly food. All you eat are lobsters.
6) Michigan is very close to Ohio. Maryland is very close to Washington DC. The smell must be similar.
7) Rutgers - please - please consider changing your colors. We don't need any more red teams. You can't have blue or yellow either. So maybe tan would work.
8) Our stadium is the Big House. You can choose "add-on garage" or "above ground pool".
I hope this helps.
November 20th, 2012 at 7:14 PM ^
I see no reason to disparage Beeblebrox College.
Also, the part about the east coast schools having hockey is sadly not true.
November 20th, 2012 at 8:49 PM ^
I thought we were Maize? They can have piss yellow all they want.
November 20th, 2012 at 7:02 PM ^
We should also educate them on their competition in the conference in the historical sense so that they know where their future competition has been. For example:
Basketball - Conference and NCAA Champions (NOTE: fixed terrible typo - sincere thanks to Don for the below comment, as that's what I originally wrote)
TEAM | Conference Champions - Basketball | NCAA Championships |
Purdue | 22 | 0 |
Indiana | 20 | 5 |
Ohio State | 19 | 1 |
Illinois | 17 | 0 |
Wisconsin | 17 | 1 |
Michigan State | 13 | 2 |
Michigan | 12 | 1 |
Iowa | 8 | 0 |
Minnesota | 8 | 0 |
Northwestern | 2 | 0 |
Penn State | 0 | 0 |
Nebraska | 0 | 0 |
In football as well (not enough data for the BTCG, of course)...
TEAM | Big Ten Championships | National Championships (Claimed) |
Michigan | 42 | 11 |
Ohio State | 35 | 7 |
Minnesota | 18 | 7 |
Illinois | 15 | 5 |
Wisconsin | 13 | 0 |
Iowa | 11 | 1 |
Purdue | 8 | 0 |
Northwestern | 8 | 0 |
Michigan State | 7 | 6 |
Penn State | 3 | 2 |
Indiana | 2 | 0 |
Nebraska | 0 | 5 |
Welcome to our conference, Maryland and Rutgers.
November 20th, 2012 at 7:31 PM ^
You should also know that if you have some moderate success in athletics (most likely in sports other than football) you can pass University of Chicago for the number of all-time B1G championships. Shortly after doing that, you will also be able to pass MSU.
November 21st, 2012 at 6:46 AM ^
November 20th, 2012 at 6:50 PM ^
Is that how the NJ guidos pronounce it?
November 20th, 2012 at 7:26 PM ^