It’s Been Over 8 Hours
It’s been over eight hours since a thread was created and this included prime time hours. I find this disturbing so I created this post because I think it must be an MGO record of some sort and it’s time to create some content.
Anyway, my lady and I were swapping stories tonight about stupid shit we did as kids that our parents ultimately learned about and the stuff we got away with. So, share a funny story about getting busted or a funny story that you will take to your grave without your parents ever knowing about it.
I’ll start. My junior year of high school I was dating a girl that was a senior. My parents never met her parents and her parents decided it would completely acceptable to spend the winter at their place in Florida and leave their daughter behind in Michigan in a giant home all by herself. It was crazy then, winter of ‘94-‘95, and as I’m typing this right now it seems unbelievable.
I won’t go into detail but it was an absolutely crazy 4 months of my life that I’ll never forget and I spent a lot of nights at a “friend’s” house. My mom went to her grave not knowing of my shenanigans in ‘06, fuck cancer, and my dad still has no idea.
GOOD TIMES
8 hours?
You were supposed to call your doctor 4 hours ago.
That's what she said...
Hell, that would be a cause for celebration!
Just another sign that we've almost reached peak off-season. At least it's not another thread about dogs' anal glands.
People still post these threads thinking someone else will be all "wow such a great thread!" but IT'S NEVER A GREAT FUCKING THREAD.
Very well could be terrible. Whatever. I’m just bored.
don't be such a pessimist. two things:
1. if anyone really weighs in on the theme of interesting/stupid kid stories, it could be entertaining. for example, what if mad hatter and faux mo are really related by blood or something, and it goes back to their childhood.
2. some of the worst original OP's have yielded some fantastic humor. i won't take time to look, but there is a HOF sticky somewhere and there all all-time classic threads in there that started with very weak OPs.
This is what I’m hoping for. Everybody has a few crazy stories from their youth and it may just be some fun reading.
I'm not saying these dumb threads don't yield some funny shit. I'm just saying I'm in the THE AMOUNT OF DUMB THREADS IS TOO DAMN HIGH party.
Also I had like 6 cups of coffee today and cynicism moves 1:1 with heart rate, because science.
I love this thread. I remember that winter. It was amazing. MG shorts: Find a way to relax in the moment. Might save some jail time or fines later in life. Go Blue friends.
I didn't read this thread to think "Wow, this is a great fucking thread," but instead to find out if I was the degenerate that I was hoping I wasn't. Turns out that I was an 'average' late teen adolescent and it serves to remind me that my children are nothing more than human. Thank for the thread, OP...and congrats on an educational 4 months!
So, back in the day the OP would have been the first paragraph of a Penthouse Forum letter.
How did your lady feel about that story?
She can’t believe my old girfriends’s parents left her alone for four months either.
She probably smiled knowing OP will go to the grave not knowing about all the other "friends" who spent the OTHER nights.
Since this is a throwaway thread, imma post a video for all my kyles out there
If this is an indicator of where this thread is going I have No Ragrets about starting it.
I have nothing but "ragrets" for staying up this late and reading it.
Except for the fuck cancer part, that sounds like the sequel to American Pie. Like, I dunno, American Pie II: Electric Boogaloo. Or American Pie II: First Blood. Or American Pie II: American Cake.
Again, though, except for the cancer. Sorry for the person who suffered that. Kind of an off-note in that post too.
American Pie 2: The Legend of OP’s Gold.
I don't really find it that surprising. Way back in the day people had 3 kids by the time they were 18.
Yeah, that still happens today...
Flip side to this, my senior year of high school I’m at a party and I’m the DD simply because I didn’t drink, not a drop in high school, and the cops show up like a fucking swat team. They line is all up, give every kid a breathalyzer and tickets start flying. I was the very kid to blow in the machine, 0.00. The cop looks at the guy in charge, “What do you want me to do with the kids that aren’t drinking?” “Give them a ticket for being here.”
I was ticketed for “Contributing to a Nuisance Party” and received the exact same punishment as my friends that were given MIP’s.
When I got home after driving my drunk ass friends home I left the ticket on my parent’s kitchen counter because I felt I didn’t do anything wrong. My mom woke me up the next morning with a few questions and we ended up in court with a lawyer. I ended up with the exact same punishment as the kids that were drinking, 40 hours of community service and a $200 fine(I think). I had to shovel snow from the downtown sidewalks and build picnic tables for the public parks so if you sat on a public picnic table in the Mount Pleasant Parks System in the second half of the ‘90s, you’re welcome.
So, that’s the story I took home and told my folks about and they went to bat for me and to this day I believe I got screwed.
You did. That was a stupid punishment. Guilty by association in that circumstance is too harsh.
This party wasn't in Strongsville, OH by any chance?
My wife first childhood home was in Strongsville before they moved to Brecksville. Cleveland suburbs are great!
That’s a great story. Congrats on your efforts to stay sober in high school. Admirable for sure.
You had a terrible lawyer.
So now that your in your 40's is it safe to tell your dad?
I’m sure he’d have a good laugh about it now but what he doesn’t know won’t kill him.
....but are you going to tell HER parents???
Now that I’m thinking about this I wouldn’t be surprised if I told my dad and he looked at me and said, “Yeah, I know. Her dad called me before they left and gave me heads up. I never told your mom. You’re welcome. Wait, your dumbass has thought for over twenty years that her parents didn’t tell your parents?”
It’s been 8 hours... should I call a doctor?
Ok, I'll give it a go:
Prom night.
Midnight. Post-prom party at a hotel, everyone very drunk. Stupid idiot from another school crashes the party and attempts to make out with my date. My prom date. Just a date, not a gf, but still - it's prom night FFS!
So, ridiculous fight/pushing match ensues, interloper slinks away.
4 am, time to head home. All four tires of dad's executive sedan slashed (wonder who did it?). Found a friend to give date and I ride home (we all lived near each other). Immediate heavy drunken sleep.
~8 am. Dad enters room, and asks (not unreasonably) "Where. Is. My. Car?"
Head exploding, I reply: "Campus Inn. Tires slashed. Not my fault. Will fix later".
Back to blessed sleep.
Noon. Stagger downstairs. Sitting in driveway is dad's car, magically sporting shiny new tires.
My dad never said a word about it. Just fixed the car and let it go.
I had a great dad - RIP, pops.
Your dad is indeed nice
Stole 4 large boxes of nudie mags from an unlocked mobile home when I was 9 or 10 along with 2 of my buddies. We used our bikes and a wagon to move the merchandise about a mile across town to one of their homes. My buddy’s dad found our stash about a month later and kept them all.
There ya go.
Had a 50th anniversary Playboy mag I kept in my room for the "articles" that I had lifted off of my dad (this was mid-90s)...anyway, I forgot about it and went away to college and came back to my room rearranged and turned into an office. I checked the original spot I took it from and it was back there, as if it hadn't taken a 4 year vacation upstairs
Stole all 4 boxes? You got greedy. Skim a couple from each box and you’re golden, and you have less to try to hide somewhere...though the image of a bunch of skin mags being transported in wagon by kids is funny.
So shenanigans places. Joe Louis. The Palace. Comerica. The Champion Club at the Kentucky Derby. Mile High on the way to Nashville...but we were laughing too much for it to be hot. Movie theatre. Hot tub in San Diego in the middle of the day and nobody knew. Same hot tub at 2am and security guard threw a flag. Fishing boat on the Pere Marquette River. Library. Kingston Mines when it was too crowded to know. Grand Haven Beach. Uber. Taxi. Lyft. Gondola in Pittsburgh. Elevator at the Ren Cen. Every place is the same woman I love.
So I guess this is your down time between "shenanigans" that you post this. Keep up the good work my man!
Well, if you wanna talk shenanigans ...
1990 or 91. Black-tie event for the Detroit advertising industry at the Fox Theatre. Romantic interlude in the third-floor mezzanine ladies' room. Pushed one of those big, old-fashioned trash cans in front of the door, thinking it would work as a door stop, and into one of the stalls our couple goes ...
In the middle of the festivities, we were interrupted by the sound of the door pushing the trash can aside and a woman's voice saying "What the hell is this ..."
And then she stopped, suddenly realizing just what the hell this was. The only sound was that of three-inch pumps walking quickly across the marble floor, running water/washing hands, and the same pumps making a hurried exit. Meanwhile, our couple each had a hand clamped across the others' mouth, for fear of ruining this beautiful moment with an audible guffaw.
She's long-gone, married with two teen sons. But I like to think that whenever she and her family drive down Woodward Ave. and pass the Fox, she stops and thinks, "Oh ... right ..."
Like Captain Renault from "Casablanca," it's the romantic in me.
Man, I thought the story was headed in a different direction. I thought the woman in the three inch pumps was headed for the stall to take a major dump and you would bust out laughing and/or gagging.
I thought she was going to join in!
Not unless she had manacles and a ball gag. Like I said, I'm a romantic.
and we wonder why more mgoladies don't post here....
No Big House? That’s a pretty glaring ommison on an otherwise very strong CV :)
Senior year of High School? By October I had been accepted to UM (from out of state) and that removed all further motivation for the rest of the year. In my school we could use an Honor Society card as a universal hall pass, and we went out to the baseball field to smoke pot in the dugout. My girlfriend’s parents really liked me, and they should have never trusted either me or their daughter. Great times...!
This one time at er uh, FBI training camp at Quantico . . . er, uh basketball camp . . . er, uh soccer camp . . . er, uh hockey camp. . . er, uh band camp . . .