.....that I hope doesn't make it to the Internet. Wait...
Craig James Running for U.S. Senate
Hookers everywhere mourn this decision
I'm pretty sure murdering at least one hooker is an entry requirement to the Cool Senators Club.
I heard that once in Congress, you have unlimited access to killable hookers and a team of people to follow you around and cover it up.
is where it's at. Just ask Ted Kennedy.
Senate is part of congress.
Hey, no politics.
In other news: I'm an idiot.
Mary Jo Kopechne was not available for comment.
His name will probably help him in the polls, but I'm not sure how his pro-hooker-killing stance will go over among the voters.
I don't know. Hooker-killing politics are complicated. The small minority of people who kill hookers LOVE politicians who support their work and kill hookers themselves. The majority, on the other hand, doesn't approve of hooker killing but worries more about other issues.
This hooker-killing strategy could be a political stroke of genius.
i believe Gromer is using the term "personality" incorrectly
PLEEEEEASE keep this thread politics-free. I really, really want this thing to stay up.
Gutsy decision, given that Craig James allegedly killed five hookers while at SMU.
remember though, it's only alleged that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU. it can't be proven that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU, so let's not be careless with rumors that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU.
If a rumormonger were to bold the phrase "Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU," would that give it any extra weight with the search engines?
Look on the bright side. This means he'll have to leave ESPN which is NOT a bad thing.
Do you think that Craig James killed 5 hookers while at SMU without realizing he would one day run for public office?
I think it was part of a long run strategy, I'm not sure what his thought process was, but you don't KILL FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU without some sort of endgame in mind.
I wonder if his getting Mike Leach fired will hurt him in the polls.
EDIT: While I understand it is a fact that Craig James killed 5 hookers while at SMU, how did that information become public again?
But keep in mind that it is allegedly killed!
I'm pretty sure EDSBS first stated that there was no proof that Craig James killed 5 prostitutes while at SMU. So, it would be completely unethical to continue to report the rumors that Craig James killed 5 prostitutes while at SMU.
I think the lesson here is more people need to kill hookers, it can take you places
First pardon: Jack the Ripper.
anything to get him off ESPN
How does he think he has a show when everyone in West Texas HATES him?
maybe because west texas/texas tech fans only make up a small percentage of texas compared to the dallas-houston-san antonio megalopolis.
the more pressing question is how does he think he has a shot when there is rampant speculation that he killed 5 hookers while at SMU?
How do SMU fans/alums view guys from the James/Dickerson era? Is it a thanks for the memories attitude, or you doomed us to 25 years of sucking?
smu has fans???
SMU makes no sense. They draw like 20k to their games, yet they had no problem finding 20 boosters perfectly willing to pony up $100k for six years to pay June Jones. I know there's a lot of oil money sloshing around in Highland Park but sheesh!
That ESPN 30 for 30 special (Pony Express ?) explains it pretty well. In Texas, football, at pretty much every level, is how people measure the size of their dicks. High School, College, the Cowboyws, it's all the same. You do whatever it takes for "your team" to be the best.
The good ol' boy network in Dallas is filled with rich SMU grads. They don't like being embarrassed while hanging out with their UT and A&M brethren. Hence, they spend the money that needs to be spent.
Most of those guys are still fairly popular within the SMU community still. Dickerson is like C-Webb is with the UM community. Most SMU folks realize that they will never be the dominant program in the state, it will always be UT no matter what, while aTm and Tech have their fair share. Not to mention Dallas is the Big 12's version of Chicago with alot of graduates from all the schools flocking there after graduation. But SMU is paying June Jones over $2 mill and they do a pretty good job of getting fans to attend the BS bowls they've made the last few years. Though that might just be an indicator of how big football is down here rather than love of the program.
I too hope to one day enter politics, but I never killed any hookers when I was at Michigan. Does this mean its too late to consider a career change? I mean because if not, I've got some work to do.
I've got a knife you can borrow
There's always grad school.
....that Chris Spielman replaces him in the crew covering the Beef O'Brady Bowl? If Spielman decided to run for office, would they let Quint do the whole thing solo?
Talk about a dude with skeletons in his closet.
"Thank you for coming to my first 'Craig James for Senate' press conference. I'll take your questions. Yes, you, in the maize and blue."
"Thank you. Mr. James, I have heard some stunning allegations regarding your time at SMU, specifically that you killed five hookers while there. I've had no substantial quotes on this story, and I refuse to believe that YOU KILLED FIVE HOOKERS AT SMU, but would you care to comment?"
I strongly encourage the watching of this video for James' Texans for a Better America. The word "self-parody" is defined by this video, not the other way round.
For some reason this video reminds be of the "Biff Tannen Tribute Video" in Back to the Future Part 2
I believe that it should be seen by as many people as possible - for lessons in voice inflection if nothing else. "Texans for a Better America."
Wow, that is something. How about that...
that Texas is the envy of our nation. I was just there, can't believe I missed that. So I learned something today. Good for me.
Now there's something you can support. How can you do anything other than support America being an exceptional place? Why ... to suggest that America isn't a special place is downright unAmerican of you. I mean, this is a great country. You can kill five hookers ... KILL FIVE HOOKERS ... and get away with it.
Well, if there was an election to jump into, this has some factors strongly going for it. Apparently the latest polls for the Republican Senate nomination in Texas have an "undecided" category that's 34% (?!?!). Four other candidates are in the race with one of them polling at 41%, and he has raised $5.1m as of late November. If James has good name recognition in Texas (I'm assuming yes) and can either pony up some serious cash, or has assurances that someone will do that for him, this was a smart move if he wants that seat.
...that there are wealthy individuals in Texas that have been willing to, as you put it, "pony up serious cash" for him, expressly.
I thought I had a good one with just the pony, I hadn't even considered that it could have been expressly announced. +1 to you, good sir.
Now, that shit is funny. Kudos to you sir.
i was going to post a very similar picture. if this dissuades even one person from voting for him, i consider that a WIN.
5 hookers that won't be able to vote for him.
'"Hunk" below' is James Bond in Casino Royale.
whose name is daniel craig, probably why it came up in a search for craig james...i wonder if bond ever killed hookers
Kay Bailey Hutchison is retiring, and it is an open seat, with no clear heir. Polling from October, before (I think) anybody was considering Craig James:
David Dewherst does have the advantage of NOT allegedly killing 5 hookers...
I heard that Don't Know locked Adam James in a closet.
He can now requisition DOD Black OPS funds for unlimited Hooker Waterboarding! Oh Glorious America!
of course he is.
And of course:
Great post. That is all. Carry on.
C. James in 2012? ...need another catchphrase. We're already seeing to much...
is gross. I feel dirty. Shower time.
I fail at embedding so here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=A9u-JdUHQFQ
I can't rmemeber if you suck or not, but this video is TREM-N-DUSS.
The tragedy of you is that you're really funny when you aren't being an a-hole. I literally laughed out loud at the beginning of this sentence.
The tradgedy of you is that you smell like a turd. I try to love you but the smell drives me away.
So do I vote for James in the primary, knowing that it would end his career at ESPN. Plus, I would be moving so he would never be my senator.
Vote for an opponent. So there's one less crappy US senator and presumably not one who killed five hookers at SMU.
Think I'm going former..
is gross. I feel dirty. Shower time.
Guys come on, maybe we should lay off him a little bit. I mean, there really is no hard evidence that proves that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS AT SMU. Think about it, how would you like it if people claimed that you, like CRAIG JAMES is alleged to have done, KILLED 5 HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU? I know I wouldn't like it one bit. Can anyone actually prove that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU?
So wait, I just watched the video. What has he done other than play football and talk about football that makes him qualified? They didn't mention anything. They said he was a "rancher." Does that make him qualified to be a senator? If that video was meant to make him look like a good candidate, it did a terrible job.
This is not meant to be a political post, but no matter what side you're on, you need something better than "I played football and I love America" to run for the US Senate. Right?
The Super Bowl, for goshsakes!
I can't give away too much, but I'm currently working on the presidential exploratory committee of a former Big Ten quarterback who made a good showing in the Orange Bowl and loves his country. The numbers and projected donations look good, so we're probably going for it. Announcement coming soon.
So, to answer your question, yes, those are the qualifications for President. I'm not sure about Senate because we either go big or go home.
Come on, man. Craig James is a living example of the importance of economic freedom and America's entrepreneurial spirit. Weren't you listening?
I was thinking the exact same thing. If I didn't know he was running for the senate, I would have thought it was an ad campaign for the Texas high school football HOF.
He's really going to struggle getting the pimp vote.
more points. That's rich!
Do we have any proof that Craig James allegedly killed ONLY 5 hookers while at SMU? We may be underselling the man...
wasn't emperor palpatine a senator before he was emperor? well, if kilpatrick can get reelected in detroit, then i guess this is not so far fetched.
i wonder if dirty deeds done dirt cheap will be his campaign theme song?
free flowing Washington DC hookers paid for with lobbying $$. Craig is moving to his dream job.
The last time we had a serial hooker killer that was a senator we ended up with something like this...
Football in Texas is a religion. If you have that background you probably have a good chance of winning the Republican nomination. If you have the Republican nomination, you will win the seat, because it's Texas.
I think he would have to be off the airways as part of equal time laws. That's why Howard Stern dropped his run for governor.
Mike Leach approves and looks forward to James answering some questions
Did he know too much about the five? Was the whole thing about Adam James just a ruse?
I guess that could take him out for bowl season, which is a small win. But to get through next season, I'd imagine he'd have to win the primary.
I heard that one of the five hookers that Craig James killed while at SMU was Mike Leach's favorite hooker. That's why he recruited Craig James' son just so he could lock him in a shed. This is the only explanation for Adam James hearing Leach yell "This is for Cinnamon" as he locked the door.
Before I clicked the link, I was sure this was a joke; just the next phase of the hookers gag or something.
The media should definitely confront him with this glaring omission, right?
I have no skillz, but for someone that does, this card is an opportunity for hilarity.
to a better hidden, behind-closed-doors source of dirty secret $$ in Congress... guess he's a natural!!
Craig James must the support of the Hooker Killer Demographic. And those who wish they were.
Craig James killed 5 hookers with the knowledge that one day he would run for Senate on the platform of cleaning the streets of prostitution. THATS good politikin'!!!
This is a classic political wedge issue that bodes well for his eventual election. I swear I learned about this in Poli Sci 101.
Hmm Locke's Second Treatise must have undergone some revision since I was in that class.
I will gladly move to Texas and stuff the ballot box to get that clown in office if that will rid the world of his "expertise" on CFB Saturday.
Not so fast my friend... I think there is more to that story. I bet coaching the son of Craig James -- who killed five hookers, wasn't exactly a walk in the park.
Making jokes about Craig James killing 5 hookers is not an appropriate thing to do. Besides, how do we even know if Craig James killed 5 hookers? Has anyone ever gone on record and said "Craig James killed 5 hookers, and I saw it with my own eyes!" or "I know for a fact Craig James killed 5 hookers, and I have the evidence to prove it!"? I don't think so. So before we automatically assume that Craig James killing 5 hookers is real, I think we should not be so quick to judge.
So if I understand you correctly, you're confirming that Craig James did in fact kill 5 hookers?
Confirm that Craig James killed 5 hookers. Maybe I am reading between the lines too much but he just stated several times that Craig James killed 5 hookers.
a really good laugh at this while studying for finals. that guy is a total moron lol
Craig James running for office and the lack of evidence around the potential that Craig James killed five hookers could elevate his current Google situation up to the level of Santorum. I think the Santorum Google problem is still the winner. For Santorum everything about what comes up on Google under his name would seem to go against what he believes in. For Craig James, we just do not have enough information about his feelings about hooker killings. I don’t believe he has ever spoken on the record about his stance on this issue or the lack of evidence that Craig James killed five hookers. Time will tell if the completely unsubstantiated rumor that Craig James killed five hookers appearing on Google will rival the Santorum issue.
Up to #3 now in Google.
What can be stated with absolute certitude is that there are at least five highly-disgruntled pimps who will now be throwing their considerable political weight behind the opposing Democratic ticket. And as we all know, as the likes of the esteemed Iceburg Slim and Archbishop Don Magic Juan go, so goes the great state of Texas. All of which is to say, that while executing 5 hookers in cold blood may have served to temporarily satisfy Craig James' unrelenting prostitute-derived bloodlust, it was certainly not a calculation made by him with an eye toward political expediency. No gentlemen, the skeletons in Mr. James' closet have now been unearthed, and unfortunately for the proposed Senator-elect, those skeletons are rocking clear heels...
I wonder if this is the look he gets before he..well...you know...
Kills five hookers?
Is there any chance that Pam Ward will leave ESPN to work for his campaign? #WishfullyThinking
Craig James killed 5 hoo-Ah fuck it
It amazes me that in this day and age that one whom allegedly killed in excess (perhaps) of five hookers could run for such a prestigious office. Senators and all politicians are probably the most ethical upstanding citizens in our great nation. To have someone with this allegedly henious background simply astounds me.
i'm craig james, bitch!
Pro: If he wins, his terrible football analysis will no longer appear on my TV.
Con: If he wins, his terrible policy analysis will be on my TV.
Sweet mother of God...
Craig James just needs to stop it. And by "it" I don't just mean killing hookers, I mean everything.
Has cleared all this Craig James hooker confusion up
This guy sucks. I cannot believe he has continued to be employed at ESPN. If he thinks he is qualified to be a US Senator, then there must be no qualifications at this point.
NO POLITICS, FUCKER.
Dana Jacobson -- suspended for alcohol and harassment problems.
fap fap fap
Rumor also has it Craig James sold five whore bone wind chimes around the time of their deaths at a garage sale.
...did I think I would ever read the words
five whore bone wind chimes
My love for MGoBlog just expanded.
LOL... I think I just wet myself.
All right, spill it--where did you get "whore bone wind chimes?" I simply must know.
if he turned their skulls into chilli bowls?
can i find these wind chimes at Pier 1?
I came into this late, but I'm happy to see that this has carried on for over 100 posts. I wonder if his opponents will bring up the allegations that Craig James KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU.
to put a chicken in every pot and a hooker under the bed of every 16 year old in the state of Texas. Elect me and I will nail every hooker in Washington D. C.
Why for the love of God can this post exceed 100 comments and not ONE of you guys mention that Craig James killed five hookers? I thought everybody knew about it but i guess not from your glaring oversight of him killing the five hookers.
By the way...the fact that Craig James killed five hookers is now the number TWO item listed on Google quick-search. Looks to me like the dirty little secret James has hidden for many years (the killing of the five hookers) is about to go mainstream.
It almost makes me think that he's only doing it because he's in on the joke now.
Or found a profession where killing 5 hookers is no big deal.
Someone needs to tell him that his version of "Happy Ending" is very different than the majority. I guess it still released stress for him, but at least 5 dead hookers are certainly not amused.
CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE REPRESENTING THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS IN THE UNITED STATES SENATE
I always find this meme hilarious, but when/where exactly did it originate? I'm googling all over and I can't find the answer to this question. Forgive my ignorance!
Craig James killing five hookers.
Craig James in the U.S. Senate would at least get him off ESPN.