Now that's some good newspapering. Notre Dame, always losing to Notre Dame by 275.

This is some top tier transitive property thinking. https://t.co/UHhtDDYLWN pic.twitter.com/4DS3uNeUuh

— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) June 2, 2023

Typical Notre Dame.

He's probably thinking about his roster. Excellent candid shot from a Harbaugh coaching clinic appearance:

Jim Harbaugh spoke at the National College Showcase Camp at Wayne State University before hundreds of prospects (and a few of his fellow coaches): pic.twitter.com/uKeUUFuzMP

— Alejandro Zúñiga (@ByAZuniga) June 1, 2023

I also enjoy Bielema looking like a popular meme cat from a decade ago.

There are memes old enough to be Baby Gronk, if you want to feel old. Please do not google Baby Gronk if you have never heard of him, you will die and not be allowed into heaven.

[AFTER THE JUMP: Otaku Kris Jenkins?] 

CJ Stokes redemption tour. CJ Stokes feels the same way you do about that run:

Stokes makes the cut, but he stumbles — tripped up by the turf monster or by Colston Loveland’s legs. He falls forward for a gain of two and pops back up to his feet with a gesture of frustration in recognition of the squandered opportunity.

“That run against Ohio State was the biggest disappointment for me,” CJ Stokes told The Michigan Insider. “If I would’ve broke that run, I would’ve been a household name. Because there was nobody there! After the D-line, the linebackers weren’t there.

“It was the perfect play. I just slipped in the backfield and didn’t make the play. … I’ve watched that run so many times.”

Yeah, I watched it a few times too:

Nice we get to have this discussion about a missed opportunity in a 22-point road win against OSU instead of, you know, the Before Times. He'll have another apprenticeship year and then is likely to be the main man in 2024 unless Michigan somehow finagles Donovan Edwards back for a senior year.

Would be nice. 247's Brad Crawford has some insider chatter from various Big Ten programs. One Michigan player comes in for a mention:

Keep an eye on edge rusher Derrick Moore. He continues to develop into a tenacious player on every snap and has All-Big Ten potential at his position.

"He is a higher ceiling version of Mike Morris and has been excellent this offseason," a program source said.

With Josh Wallace's commitment raising the floor on CB2, the most pressing question left for the team is "will they have an edge rusher worth doubling?" Moore's combination of recruiting profile and age makes him the best breakout candidate.

Same as it ever was. Sprees, you say?

A University of Michigan committee finds that a number of its students are engaging in “liquor sprees,” a violation of Prohibition.

The University says that it will likely expel those students found guilty of intoxication. pic.twitter.com/IBsufZzIQU

— 1923 Live (@100YearsAgoLive) May 23, 2023

Can't remember the last time I went on a spree.

Mutant time. Michigan is launching some get-to-know-you videos on players; first up is Kris Jenkins:

Jenkins is checking in at 309 these days, which is just about perfect.

Yeah, take that. I am personally offended by Olu Oluwatimi's draft slot and it seems like Nick Baumgardner is too. He picks Olutwatimi out as a draft sleeper to watch:

There were two valid dings on 2022 Rimington winner Oluwatimi’s entering the draft process: 1) Despite his sturdy frame and play strength, he’s not that explosive of an athlete and doesn’t always drive defenders off the ball. 2) He can only play center.

Now that we have those out of the way, let’s get to a third valid point about Oluwatimi, and the one that’s arguably most important: There were not five offensive line prospects (if even that many) in the 2023 draft class who knew more about football. As a processor of information and an on-field problem-solver, the former Virginia and Michigan center was about as good as it got in college football last season. He mastered Michigan’s extremely complicated run game in one offseason and wound up as the centerpiece of its Joe Moore Award-winning line.

I believe there was a UFR in which I said I loved charting Oluwatimi because he IDed everything precisely and near-infallibly. It was a pleasure to watch him operate, which is not often a thing I think about guys in their first year at the program.

The next transfer OL. Baumgardner also mentions LaDarius Henderson in his list of transfers to watch for NFL draft purposes:

A 6-5, 310-pound package of athletic bend, recovery and foot speed, Henderson also has a reported 85 and 5/8-inch wingspan — that would’ve been second longest among OTs at the 2023 combine, behind only Dawand Jones. Henderson started at left tackle (at 17 years old) for Arizona State as a freshman in 2019 before moving inside to left guard for each of his last two seasons. He also was a captain in 2022.

That wingspan bodes well for his ability to play tackle. You do have to wonder about a guy who Arizona State was playing at guard—the Sun Devils are not exactly OSU and filled back-to-front with rangy pass pro types.

Hockey assistants assemble. Michigan has two spots to fill, one from the departure of Bill Muckalt and one from the NCAA allowing a fourth paid assistant spot. Via Mike McMahon by way of Michigan Hockey's Future, the likely winners:

Acc. to @MikeMcMahonCHN, U-M has zeroed in on a pair of rockstars to join as assistant coaches.

Sounds like Matt Deschamps (@ChicagoSteel Assoc. HC) will be traditional Asst. Coach while Kevin Reiter (Dir. of Player Personnel w/ NTDP) will coach goalies.#FutureBlue #NHLFactory pic.twitter.com/mg5fM2D2K3

— Michigan Hockey's Future 〽️ (@FutureBlueIce) June 7, 2023

If you were going to name the two most important teams in junior hockey for Michigan recruiting purposes they would be the Chicago Steel and the NTDP. Reiter has also been the NTDP's goalie coach for the past decade, neatly filling a needed spot with a guy who is also going to have recruiting connections coming out his ears. Projection: Michigan isn't going to be in the GLI again any time soon.

Oh and also Adam Fantilli says he could return to Michigan next year. Dios mio.

Etc.: NIL wild west being helped along by state legislatures. All (pre-Wallace) football transfers are enrolled. Youssef Khayat profiled. Football did indeed go to the Holocaust museum. Interesting fact about cheese. Bill Connelly's article about conference realignment was advertised as containing "dumb ideas" but I did not think he was about to propose a 190-team PAC-12. Don't click here. Super don't click here.