HELLO. I didn't expect to be doing this for another five years or so. But here we are. Here's your daily update on Michigan's basketball coaching search.

PORTER NO-SIR

Porter Moser has been brought up by both 24/7 and Rivals. This would be the worst possible scenario. His second-best Loyola team ranks 97th on Kenpom. The miracle run to the Final Four was the most fluketastic possible, with a buzzer-beater in the first round followed by two one-point wins and a nine-seed in the regional final. He's been at Loyola for eight years and has two .500 or better conference campaigns.

Moser has accomplished vastly less than Tommy Amaker, who's been to the tourney four times and has seven Ivy titles in 12 years at Harvard.

Moser would be hiring Brady Hoke. His main appeal appears to be a particular brand of stodginess that Michigan's old guard continually laps up. The kind of people still farting on like amateurism is worth preserving are in Moser's corner. And even that doesn't make sense. If you want more Beilein, just hire an assistant or LaVall Jordan. Moser is so far below the Yak line it's incredible anyone would even bring his name up. The concern with an assistant is that they might not be able to run a program at an elite level. We know for a fact Porter Moser cannot do this.

[After THE JUMP: tbh I'm on Team Juwan if we're not getting an established high level guy]

THE OMINOUS DIRECTION

Moser is one thing. The absence of Billy Donovan is another. Sam says he would be "very surprised" if Michigan reached out to Donovan because he is not perceived as a fit. This is a classic case of Michigan punching itself in the face so they can feel superior to people who aren't punching themselves in the face. Donovan endured an NCAA investigation into his recruiting practices in 2003 after Roy Williams, then at Kansas, accused him of cheating. It came back empty. (Yeah: Roy Williams, at Kansas, complaining about someone else cheating.) Here's some of the stuff they were furious about:

At the SEC Media Day gathering in Birmingham on Nov. 4 South Carolina coach Eddie Fogler, once a colleague of Williams’s at North Carolina, coyly questioned Donovan’s integrity by raising the subject of an unnamed SEC coach’s ties to Atlanta-based financial adviser Bret Bearup, who in August had bankrolled a trip to France for a team of high school stars that included Mike Miller, Nelson and Bonner. “It’s all legal, but is it ethical?” Fogler said.

Overseas trips as recruiting inducements. Michigan would never.

So many of the other names that are coming up early are equally or even more insane than Moser. Rivals brought up Bradley coach Brian Wardle as a "guy who will get a look." That is bonkers. Bradley got to the tournament this year after a 9-9 MVC season by scraping by in three straight conference tourney games against teams that were ranked 131, 171, and 177 on Kenpom. Also he's this guy:

“He pulled me aside and said their policy of me not given extra coverage opportunity was still in place, and I was not allowed to do any interviews. I told him, ‘The newspaper received the invitation.’ He said, ‘That was directed to (Huett), not to you.’ I said, ‘He doesn’t cover the team. I have for 29 years.’

“He responded by saying, ‘You don’t promote the Bradley brand, and basically we don’t want you here.’ I said, ‘Jason, that’s not my job to promote the Bradley brand. You know that.’

“He said, ‘That’s what we decided.’ I said, ‘Who’s we?’ He said, ‘Bradley University.’ I said, ‘You realize how petty this is, Jason?’ ”

Reynolds talked with Wardle, who echoed Bradley’s stance.

Wardle isn't even a one-hit wonder mid-major and he's got a giant red media relations flag. Hard pass.

Other names include fairy tales like Brad Stevens, who Sam gave the "I'm saying there's a chance" treatment to, and ludicrously bad options. Rivals just mentioned Mike Brey, who's 61 and finished last in the ACC this year, and a 61-year-old North Carolina assistant who hasn't been a head coach since a disastrous 64-86 run at FSU around the turn of the millennium. I mean: what? Billy Donovan can't get a look but we're putting a guy from Academic Fraud U on the list?

I guess the hope here is that the names getting thrown out are smoke screens and this will all be fine when a rabbit is pulled from the hat.

KEEPING THE BAND TOGETHER

This Woj bomb did not cause me to go into a catatonic state, so hooray.

Cavs coach John Beilein and JB Bickerstaff expected to soon discuss possibility of an associate head coaching role, sources tell ESPN. Bickerstaff interviewed for Cavs and Lakers openings. He remains a sought-after top assistant on market. Beilein wants an experienced NBA staff.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) May 13, 2019

That should help Michigan maintain their current staff in the event that an internal hire is required, or it's Juwan Howard and Howard wants an experienced college staff for the same reason Beilein wants an experienced NBA staff.

JUWAN: WHY NOT?

The one rumble from a reporter that hasn't caused me pain (please ignore Jay Williams's hot take):

Hearing rumblings that Juwan Howard could be on the #Cavs list for Beilein assistant coaches or near the top of the #Michigan list for its next head coach. https://t.co/0J80hgwwEf

— Rod Beard (@detnewsRodBeard) May 13, 2019

Juwan Howard will apparently interview at Michigan as well. He's landed a third head coach interview in the NBA, this one with the Timberwolves. He was already a finalist for the Lakers and Cavs jobs.

And, honestly, if we're not doing Billy Donovan or Steve Prohm—who has inexplicably not drawn a single mention despite being the obvious best option amongst acquirable D-I coaches—I'm much more willing to take a swing on a potential home run than fart around with a mid-major coach who's a proven mediocrity.

Howard may be more likely to flame out in a few years than Moser but he's far, far more likely to be a combination of strategic chops and recruiting power. And he's also less likely to flame out in a few years.

RECRUITS STICKING WITH IT FOR NOW

Per Ethan Sears:

More from Wilson, on who he wants to see Michigan hire: "Someone who I know, at least. Having a random head coach is not an ideal situation you want to be in as a player."

— Ethan Sears (@ethan_sears) May 13, 2019

Despite this, 24/7 Evan Daniels put in lightning quick crystal balls for both to flip, Bajema to Washington and Wilson to Kansas. That seems absurdly premature. Both guys are signed and would have to ask out of their LOIs to switch. Michigan would no doubt allow this but they might at least ask the two guys to wait to see who the hire is. Brian Snow also talked to Wilson and explicitly said that he would wait to see who the hire was before making any final decisions.

OTHER GUYS NOT MENTIONED YESTERDAY

It's inevitable to omit a few reasonable options when you're surveying some 350 D-I programs. A couple names were brought up that are in the realm of the plausible.

Randy Bennett, St. Mary's. 56-year-old has been the head coach at St Mary's for 18 years. In that time he's built the Gaels into Gonzaga's sidekick in the WCC. They've finished worse than second in the league just twice since Bennett got his program up and going in year three, and have two shared titles and one outright title in that time. He's got 7 bids in his tenure with one run to the Sweet 16, and they've made the tourney or NIT every year since 2008.

The Kenpom profile is encouraging, too: the Gaels have been 34th or better the last four years and haven't dipped below 67th for a decade. Two years ago they were 15th.

Two main issues. One: Bennett has lifetime job security at St Mary's—they handed him a ten-year contract a couple years back—and anyone who's had the level of success he's had at a mid-major and hasn't left is obviously inclined to be a lifer at his current location.

Two: St Mary's success has been built on a pipeline of Aussies. Last year's team had six on the roster. Maintaining that pipeline another four hours (and a connection) away from Australia might be tough. And partially as a result, Bennett's recruiting prowess is questionable. The St. Mary's all-time recruits list is a bunch of internationals and zero top 100 Americans. St Mary's is right outside of San Francisco and had a lot of success at a point where the Pac-12 imploded. Bennett's inability to recruit a four-star kid by accident during this period is a bit of a red flag.

Ed Cooley, Providence. Cooley's the guy who looks like Bunk Moreland's older brother and honestly I had assumed he was ancient, which is why I didn't mention him. He's not. He's 49. After building Fairfield into a top-end MAAC team in five years he moved to Providence, which was then on a seven-year tourney drought and consecutive 4-14 conference seasons. After a couple years of building he got Providence to embark on a five-year streak of NCAA appearances, which was snapped this year.

Cooley hasn't been past the second round and only one of those teams, a 6 in 2015, was seeded to win a first-round game. That 2015 team is his high water mark on Kenpom at #27; the rest of his tourney teams are 44th to 63rd.

Cooley does have some recruiting juice. Last year he grabbed two top 50 players in the unfortunately named David Duke and AJ Reeves; this year's solitary croot is Greg Gantt, who's ranked 62nd. He could probably get some dudes in with Michigan's increased profile and recent success.

Cooley is a Providence native and could decide to stay at home. Probably not. But it's a possibility.

Mike White, Florida. His name keeps coming up but he seems to be in a gray area where he'd be super expensive and his results might not warrant it. He took over for Donovan four years ago; after an NIT season to start he's gotten a 4, 6, and 10 seed. The trajectory is not ideal, and he walked into a program that has a ton of resources and recent success.

He is recruiting really well, but it's boggling that his name is on the table for recruiting well at Florida and Billy Donovan is apparently "not a fit." White's at the same school doing the same thing without winning as many games. How do you think someone is recruiting well in the Year Of Our Lord 2019?

EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION LEVEL

inching upwards to 8.2 due to Moser prominence