The Perverse Joy Of Abject Stupidity
11/15/2008 – Michigan 14, Northwestern 21 – 3-7, 2-6 Big Ten
At halftime I momentarily thought I had found a forgotten pair of hand warmers in the recesses of my jacket, only to pull out an empty packet of trail mix and other assorted detritus. This was worse than having no hope of hand warmers at all.
I then examined the various and diverse pockets of my jacket, coming across nothing useful. I did strike upon my ticket from last April's Frozen Four, which now commemorates the gut-punch loss suffered because of Nickelback and Creed. Thanks for leaving it there, Brian Of Christmas Past. I hope your football team goes 3-9, douchebag.
I spent halftime with my hands on the glass of the pretzel oven. Contraption. Vendor thing. Thing with flames and heat that contains pretzels. Whatever the hell it is. It didn't help much.
This is how weird it's been of late: as I huddled near a pretzel contraption at halftime of a game between 3-7 Michigan and Northwestern, soaked, frozen, pondering the grim futility of all things, I discovered that I was sort of enjoying this. Yeah, sure, you had to peel back layer upon layer of misery to get to the morbidly sunny core. But it was there.
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If you were there, and stayed there, and did not move from your seat until Nick Sheridan's final pass sailed out of bounds, you have completed the final challenge. This is the worst it can ever be: an awful team that does things specifically intended to hurt you playing a meaningless game against Northwestern in weather not fit for man nor beast. With multiple infuriating million-year-long media timeouts in the fourth quarter. That they lose.
If you put up with it (and far, far fewer than the announced 107,000 did), you are hardcore. You have a black belt in fandom. You get the Fandom Endurance III merit badge. If anyone ever questions your Michigan allegiance, you can just say "I was at the 2008 Northwestern game" and they will have to step off. If they fail to do so with sufficient obsequiousness I'm pretty sure you can cave their skull in with your finger.*
Hell, if you've even watched all these games and maintained enough emotional attachment to swear profusely during them, you're at least a purple belt or a yellow belt or whatever is pretty high up on the belt list.
You probably didn't do this by choice. Anyone with a choice either didn't show up or left or checked out emotionally. You stayed because it was inevitable.
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This, of course, is abject stupidity. I, and everyone else there, knew that the four-plus hours spent going to, attending, and returning from the game would be four of the least pleasant hours of our lives. At one point my rain-soaked uncle exclaimed to us all "we do this for fun!"
So, okay, established. Fandom is stupid LOL etc.
But why, hand on the pretzel machine, did I find perverse satisfaction in what I was doing? Why was that horrible game a sort of uniquely rewarding experience in a way last year's Ohio State game, equally dismal on-field and off, was not?
The Ohio State game last year had stakes. Win, and go to the Rose Bowl. And it was Lloyd Carr and Chad Henne and Mike Hart and Jake Long leaving. And it was against Ohio State. There were reasons to go, the chance of seeing something spectacular. Even if that chance was low.
No such chance existed on Saturday. It was pointless and horrible. Anyone with any common sense stayed away. But our stupidity is unbreakable, and that's now 100% proven. There's at least a little something in that.
*(Don't try this at home, kids! Unless you live in Ohio!)
BULLETS
- Hey, chalk up another running performance somewhere between respectable and pretty good. Carlos Brown, back from the dead, was outstanding with his cuts and there were open lanes time and again. And this was against a pretty good run defense in conditions that made throwing an extremely unlikely occurrence.
- Hopefully the Martavious Odoms fumble festival was more due to his inexperience in conditions like those he experienced on Saturday. Remember, this guy is a freshman from a swamp, basically.
- We'll see how he looks in UFR, but Mouton looked dynamite, at least against the run.
- Michigan got jacked by the referees, who 1) took away a Michigan touchdown by ruling Donovan Warren out of bounds, 2) gave Northwestern a touchdown by ignoring an incredibly blatant hold on Tim Jamison, and 3) killed any hope of a comeback by ignoring two obvious PI calls. I mean, whatever, we're 3-8, but Christ the standards in this league are horrifically low.
- That was one high-variance punting strategy employed by Northwestern.
- I hate third and more than 15.
As a senior at our beloved U of M, I would've liked to end my career as a student on a happier note. But, I stayed until the bitter end. All 4 of my years here, I've never left a game early. I stayed all the way until the last seconds ticked off the clock. I was also very sick and could've been working on my senior project (ChemE 487 = Soulsucking 101) but I would never abandon my team like that.
The best part of the game for me was Reyes scoring a TD off that special teams blocked punt because last year Ricky actually came to my Bible study. I felt extremely connected to the team at that moment and was off course extremely happy for him. As far as I know, that was the first time he actually got to play. He's a redshirt sophmore so hopefully he'll get more chances.
And of course, I will wear my black belt with pride. As my mom (also an alum) has been reminding me, there will be lots of years for me to root as an alumni even if this year we're sucking.
I was in row 3 behind the Michigan bench, soaked, no jacket, no gloves, and a soaked baseball cap to keep my head warm. I loved every second, because when we get that BCS bowl, I'm gonna think back and enjoy the hell out of every second of that misery. I'll wear my black belt of fandom with pride until that day arrives. Go Blue, in Rod We Trust.
No jacket? No gloves??? Did you look at a weather report before the game?
No question, Jim.
http://bleorgblog.blogspot.com/
http://showthatguy.blogspot.com/
Yeah, but I didn't really understand how bad it was gonna be, I thought it'd be like a drizzle or something. But I didn't get hypothermia, and I'm not sick now, so it's all good.
I survived out there with no pants.
http://tikilounge.blogspot.com
lol....
didn't you take our beer cans?
No question, Jim.
http://bleorgblog.blogspot.com/
http://showthatguy.blogspot.com/
The two souvenir mugs of hot chocolate was really the only thing that got me through. I think I finally thawed out Saturday night at about 10 pm. I was always jealous of my brother who got to go to the 5-0 Purdue game, now I have something that can compare.
But yeah, living in NYC these days, I only get to go to one game a year, so there was no way in hell I was leaving.
Seriously, it has been really hard to follow a non-winning team.
I got bored a lot. How do other fans do it?
Go Blue.
Having been a Detroit Lions fan my entire life has trained me (and surely countless others) for this eventuality. Unfortunately, this year the Lions are at what looks to be their worst ever, as well
So now, the best football team in the state is the CMU Chippewas
Go Blizzle Fo Shizzle
Western, despite losing to the Chips, is looking pretty good, too!!
Go Broncos!
CMU isn't that great this year. With a healthy Threet, I think we could beat them.
The Chips wouldn't stand a chance against MSU.
Go Blue.
I want the mgoblog community to asses my badge status. I came to the game a couple of minutes after kickoff, but stayed through the entire game. Do I still qualify for the triple black belt of Michigan fandom or do I live in some lower status? Technically, I can refer to myself as a "champion" because I stayed (There is no reference to entrance in "Those who stay will be champions") Anyway, I would like to agree with Brian's notion that this game had some perverse joy associated with it. It was the first time I had seen a game in the snow, which was an awesome feeling. And before the last drive of the game, the small amount of people left in the student section started a spontaneous "Let's Go Blue" chant that I was sure would lead Michigan to a tying touchdown. So, although I am fighting a cold and have to write a 10 page paper for my english class (if anyone could hand me some help on Physicians perspective on healthcare policy, I would greatly appreciate it), the entire experience was worth it.
GO BLUE!! SHOCK THE WORLD!!
http://www.locumtenens.com/lt/media/gallery/pdf/2008ElectionSurveyHighli...
The survey helped out a lot.
Now that you've sat through your Black Belt Merit Badge game, there is a hidden burden that comes with it. As long as you live, you'll never be able to leave early.
"I sat through the '08 Northwestern Game, I can damn sure sit through 'this'." You'll hear yourself say it many times going forward.
For a Georgia fan, it was the '95 Florida game at home when Spurrier ran the WR Reverse Pass for a long TD to break 50 points late in the 4th. If you sat through til the end of that, why ever leave another game early again?
It's actually a burden. You now have to live up to that rep you earned on Saturday, Nov. 15, 2008. Past Brian will always be looking over your shoulder like Captain Miller in Private Ryan telling Future Brian...."Earn This."
=truth.
I've been to every home game this season, arrived 30 minutes before kickoff, never left until after the band's post game performance, went Notre Dame, Penn State, and will be at Columbus, and watched purdue and minnesota in their entirety. I should get a free t-shirt at least, dammit.
Stonum sums up the entire season.
"I figured if i blue myself early, I'd be nice and ready for a 9 o'clock dinner reservation" - Tobias Funke
dark, cold and depressing?
No question, Jim.
http://bleorgblog.blogspot.com/
http://showthatguy.blogspot.com/
I have no belt......but I got a nice, big, fat DOE hanging in my garage.
Sorry to say, but if I can get out to the woods again this weekend, I'm going. We should all take that as a good thing. The last time I skipped watching a Michigan v Ohio State game to go hunting, Tim Biakabatuka made the Buckeyes his bitch. Let's hope history repeats itself.
Those Who Stay Will Be Champions
Dude I know it's a tough season to watch but do you really have to take out your aggression on a girl? That's cold, man
Go Blizzle Fo Shizzle
right on, my shelter-challenged friend. You rock.
Go Blue
Johnny's an amazing talent when we're good but screw that last diatribe that he's put out there. We get it, you loved Lloyd Carr. I loved Lloyd Carr too, but I'm not going to sink to the depths of telling people that this Michigan team doesn't care and is talentless. Brandon Graham is turning in one of the most powerful seasons by a Michigan defender in years and yet this team sucks.
Also, the scarred wife analogy was totally out of line. If you love someone, you love them. It basically says, "I don't have a wife, and I no longer love Michigan."
www.wolverineliberationarmy.blogspot.com
I thought this might be something about Johnny's latest post. I know it has been a rough year but talk about crapping all over a team that you profess to love.
www.wolverineliberationarmy.blogspot.com
Yes, 1500 florid words to say "I don't like Michigan when they aren't good. And McGuffie's a pussy."
http://www.wolverineliberationarmy.blogspot.com
I never got excited about that guy's studied, overwrought bloviations one way or the other. Why, I myself have urinated more profound prose into a snowbank.
http://tikilounge.blogspot.com
fans get to bitch about officiating whenever the fuck they want.
And, apparently, you get to be a condscending prick about it.
Go Blue
The last two games I've been to were NW this year, and OSU last year. The weather is probably my fault.
And of course the wonderful afternoon was compounded by a guy a few rows behind me who spent the entire second half complaining how stupid RR was because we needed to "throw it downfield / throw a bomb / stretch the field / send XXXXX on a go route." Nevermind the fact that the weather was horrible and Nick Sheridan is our QB.
the most miserable time i've ever had at a game, bar none, and i've sat through some doozies. the 26-0 loss to iowa, the 5-0 purdue game...this was far, far worse than either, on so many levels. just a shitty day all around.
I watched the game from the confines of my apartment in Brooklyn, but felt for those in attendance. (I have my own icy badge of courage game - vs. Purdue in 1995. We won 5-0).
The point where I felt the worst for those in attendance was when a NW player got injured in the 4th Q. ESPN kept the camera on him for like 3 minutes while trainers attended, etc. Then he hobbled off with the help of trainers. THEN they went to a TV timeout. I was thinking at the time, "huh, they probably could have gone to commercial while the guy was writhing in pain on the ground for 3 minutes. That must suck for the spectators." Guess I was correct.
They didn't pan over to where Threet had collapsed on the field at all? I figured they would have shown that over and over again on replay.
That is how I was able to make my expert medical diagnosis.
broken knee cap, and all.....although, with the weather and knee pain, we could not stay all game.
But, I wanted to go and show support for the team....this year has tried all our fandom, but its much much easier to be a fan when things are going well.....I felt I had to go, I think the boys still deserve our support.
Besides, we had fun....one last chance to shoot the breeze with those fellow season ticket holders who sit near us....lot of happy holidaying.....and we all could not wait until next year!!!
Optimism remains High for the Revolution in Section 14!!
God Bless Your Cotton Pickin' Maize & Blue Hearts
Purple belt. Again, well said Brian
all will be forgotten with one simple thing-win saturday. sure the situation this season sucks but if whats the one thing that is still left unchecked on the goal sheet from the beginning of the season...a win against osu. as unlikely as this is i would not put it past us to surprise them, and the world, with a good showing in the depths of the cesspool that is ohio. how awesome would it to be able to say that even in the worst year of michigan football we still beat osu. play out of your mind saturday boys.
also thanks for the true fans that stayed to the end of the game-id much rather have us 30000 or less that were there then the 70000 fair-weather/bandwagon fans that are only there when its advantageous for them