2021 maryland
mike locksley
daddy would you like some sausages
potty training
donovan edwards
aidan hutchinson
cade mcnamara
jay harbaugh
andrel anthony
jj mccarthy
short yardage
matt torey
punt block
[Paul Sherman]

If You Could Pee Where You're Supposed To Just Once In My Entire Life All Of This Would Be Worth It, Oh Darling Sons Of Mine Comment Count

Brian November 22nd, 2021 at 2:14 PM

11/20/2021 – Michigan 59, Maryland 18 – 10-1, 7-1 Big Ten

There's something about playing Maryland that causes the details to evaporate immediately after the game. Things I remember from previous Maryland games: they played a tiny quarterback once, there were some annoying screens, the end. Rutgers has at least had the decency to be memorably bad (and yes occasionally feisty); Maryland is forgettably bad unless you are Texas.

I will make an effort to remember the throwback kick return touchdown, but it will be an effort. Mentioning the kick return has caused me to remember that Michigan returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown in this game a few years ago, so there's a third thing. Fourth thing. Whatever. Those screens were really annoying, though.

This game in particular evaporated like the haze after a dream. Michigan was up some points, and then they were up a lot of points, and then slightly fewer, and then Alan Bowman was chucking passes to a guy named "Will Rolapp," who is from Connecticut and seems very nice. If you concentrated you could remember various sequences that led to the absurdly lopsided score, but only one at a time. The others shimmered out of focus as soon as attention wavered.

------------------------------

The thing that is likely to stick longest is Mike Locksley looking on at his charges with a series of facial expressions that started out at exasperated and quickly elevated to day three of potty training. On day three of potty training you have been in the bathroom for three days and the child is still wandering around like a ticking time bomb, oblivious to any of the rules laid out over the previous, grueling 48 hours. There is a high probability the child will stand there with a stupid grin on his or her face while evacuating a bladder as you moan something along the lines of "in the potty! IN THE POTTY! WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THE PEE GOES IN THE someone get me a drink right now GOT DARNED POTTY!"

This is when you give up and try again later, in my experience, but Mike Locksley can't just put some sort of cat-themed cartoon on for his players and then go stare at a wall with a glass in both hands. I mean, not in the third quarter. He obviously did that after the game. The only entertainment option on the flight home was a tween in cat ears turning into a cartoon version of herself so she can go play in her cat doll house. The team was fine with this—enraptured, even. Mike Locksley sat in the first row with a bottle of whiskey strapped into the seat next to him. Locksley said nothing for the whole flight, and his only motion was occasionally bringing the glass to his mouth. The lone exception is 45 minutes into the flight, when something between a shudder and a sigh trembled out of his lips. Then back to stone silence.

I guarantee you this is exactly what occurred on Saturday night. There are no other options.

But in the third quarter Mike Locksley is contractually obligated to continue day three of potty training into the undiscovered country of day four. Then cameras will cut to him after his quarterback scrambles wildly, then hurls a ball directly to the chest of a Michigan defensive back, then inexplicably stops instead of pushing said defensive back out of bounds. The defensive back will subsequently score a touchdown.

It is at this point that Mike Locksley will invent entirely new levels of disappointed dad face. Muscles will contort into heretofore unknown arrangements in order to communicate pure agony. You can see the man calculating what boarding school will cost, and whether he can afford both it and the country club. A thought flickers but no, it is too late to put them up for adoption, that is probably not legal.

There's nothing for it: one can only endure, and contort. Endurance is all. Contortion is required. Stoicism is impossible but given everything that's going on any reaction short of Falling Down is a noble endeavor. Mike Locksley got home late Saturday night, and sat down, and had not committed any crimes. Well done, sir.

Anyway, it's Ohio State week. We're all Mike Locksley now. Stay safe out there.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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[Sherman]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 Donovan Edwards. Donovan Edwards caught ten passes for 170 yards, surpassing any single season of Chris Evans's career in a single game as a true freshman. This is simultaneously wonderful and encouraging since Edwards is clearly a Weapon that must be accounted for by trying to Cover Him With Linebackers and that is Never Going To Work, and also WHAT WERE WE DOING WITH CHRIS EVANS FOR FOUR YEARS HE'S IN THE NFL NOW JESUS CHRIST

/breathes into paper bag

#2 Aidan Hutchinson. Breaking the duo up this week since Hutchinson had a TFL and a PBU, the TFL on fourth and two, while Ojabo was fairly muted except for a hold he drew. Hutchinson again made the PFF team of the week, and had five solo tackles as a DE.

#3 Cade McNamara. 9.3 YPA, 2 TD, 0 INT. Yes, disproportionate chunk came on the long TD but McNamara feathered that in there so Edwards didn't have to break stride. That YAC is partially his. Did get bailed out a wee bit by his receivers and alarmingly thunked two passes into OL helmets, but 21/28 for 259 yards in three quarters… eh, I'll take it.

Honorable mention: Mike Sainristil and Andrel Anthony only caught one pass each but both were 1s on the UFR charting so here you go, it's a point. Michael Barrett's throw across the field was perfect. Matt Torey blocked a punt.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

47: Aidan Hutchinson (HM WMU, #2 Wash, #1 Rutgers, #1 Wisc, HM Neb, #2 NW, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU, #2 Maryland)
30: Hassan Haskins (HM WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, #2 Neb, T1 NW, #1 IU, #2 PSU)
21: David Ojabo (#2 Wisc, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU)
18: The OL (#1 Wash, #1 NIU, HM Neb, HM NW)
17: Blake Corum (#2 WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, HM Neb, T1 NW)
13: Cade McNamara (#1 MSU, HM IU, HM PSU, #3 Maryland)
11: Donovan Edwards(T2 NIU, #1 Maryland)
8: Ronnie Bell (#1 WMU), Brad Hawkins (#1 Neb), Dax Hill (#3 WMU, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM Neb, HM MSU)
7: Brad Robbins (HM Wash, #3 Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM PSU), Josh Ross (HM Wash, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM NW, HM PSU)
6: Nikhai Hill-Green(HM NIU, #2 Rutgers), Jake Moody (HM Wash, HM Wisc, #3 Neb, HM MSU), DJ Turner (#3 NW, #3 PSU), Andrel Anthony (#2 MSU, HM Maryland)
5: Cornelius Johnson(HM NIU, HM Wisc, #3 IU)
4: AJ Henning (HM WMU, #3 NIU), Roman Wilson (#3 Wisc, HM PSU)
2: Erick All (HM NW, HM MSU), Junior Colson (HM IU, HM PSU), Mike Sainristil (HM WMU, HM Maryland)
1: Andrew Vastardis (HM WMU), Mazi Smith (HM Wash), Gemon Green(HM NIU), Chris Hinton (HM Rutgers),  Taylor Upshaw (HM IU), Michael Barrett (HM Maryland), Matt Torey(HM Maryland)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Edwards gets a linebacker in man coverage on a wheel route and lol nope.

Honorable mention: Kick return trick play TD; punt block; INT return TD; various absurd catches; Michigan draws a hold!

image​MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

The first half of OSU-MSU.

Honorable mention: Maryland scores a touchdown and a two point conversion to make us all remember the MSU game; McNamara throws two different balls into OL helmets.

[After THE JUMP: Jay Harbaugh for Broyles Award]

OFFENSE

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[Sherman]

Well? I mean? I have to admit that my main thought for most of this game was "this isn't going to beat Ohio State." The numbers came out real nice in the end, at least in the passing department, but the game felt like a slog against a pretty bad defense. McNamara hit a couple of his own OL's helmets—continuing a theme—and Haskins was limited to 3.9 YPC. Meanwhile OSU's scored on their first five drives in about half their games this year.

This is downer thinking but that's life these days.

A vivid example of limitations imposed. Michigan checked to a Haskins counter GT—backside tackle and guard both pull—on third and ten, and that looked like a great idea for a hot second as Haskins broke to the second level with an escort and no Maryland players in the vicinity.  Then the backside end hacked Haskins down after a gain of five, because he did not have to respect the idea of a McNamara keeper at all.

There is a shuffle step there but it's one of those obligatory ones where the guy is clearly leaning one way the whole time. We tend to harp on this, yes. This was a pretty obvious cost to having a pocket QB in 2021.

Targets for this man. Seems like every time Andrel Anthony gets a tough opportunity he makes it count:

The sheer density of his eyebrow-cocking catches so far in his career bodes well for what's going to happen when he gets some more experience under his belt and is reliable enough in his routes to get buckets of targets. Likely coming next year, unless the addition of Edwards to the rotation means that there's too much depth to give anyone person buckets of targets in a Bell/Anthony/Johnson/Edwards/All/Etc. world.

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[Sherman]

Thonk. I'm not saying that JJ McCarthy should be starting or anything, but the two plays in short order where he 1) broke two tackles and busted outside for a 14-yard run and 2) lasered a deep hitch to Cornelius Johnson that arrived with an extremely loud THONK sound kind of make you think he should be starting. To be clear: it's obvious why he isn't. It is also obvious why that graph I posted after the Northwestern game is a thing. McCarthy has massive upside.

Short yardage zone sucks. Repeat as necessary. Michigan got stuffed on third and two in this game when Vastardis left a double to go get a linebacker, leaving yet another situation where an OL is trying to block a guy who lined up inside of him and is slanting away. That never works; did it work here? No.

I think Michigan's diversity here is also hurting. Zone is difficult to execute and needs to be repped incessantly to get it right, especially when teams crowd the line and there are more decisions to make. Michigan has run a lot of gap stuff, a ton of split zone, and recently started incorporating stretch plays. Trying to do all of that can play to your advantage since the opposition has to prep for it and can't just sit on one base play, but it also makes your execution more erratic. That's especially painful on short yardage.

Michigan followed that failure up with a fourth and one conversion where they just doubled both DTs and moved them far enough.

DEFENSE

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argh [Sherman]

Grimace dot emoji. Taulia Tagovailoa had one of his worst outings of the year but how much of that was Michigan and how much was Tagovailoa repeatedly airmailing guys? He had back-to-back overthrows of his tight end in the endzone that he badly overthrew and one scramble dumpoff to a guy on the sideline was going to go a long way if the ball wasn't hurled at Tacopants.

Michigan offset this with a number of plays on which Tagovailoa was baffled by what Michigan was running—the Gray sack was the most prominent example. His mobility got him out of some jams, but part of that was…

Big gaps in the front. Maryland did a surprisingly good job against Michigan's terror DEs, who were shut out in the sack category, and Tagovailoa had lots of opportunities to scramble as Michigan DTs continued to get stuck at or near the line of scrimmage. I'm not sure that one seemingly off day from Ojabo/Hutchison bodes unwell for The Game—as mentioned, Hutchinson continues to grade out insanely well at PFF—but if OSU is able to contain them reasonably well it's not likely that someone else picks up the slack. Organic rush from the DTs this year has been approximately nil.

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Michigan prioritized shutting 3 down [Sherman]

Light boxes, disappointing ground restriction. Also in this department: for the second straight week Michigan went up against a team with a dead doornail run game that was able to piece together a better-than-average day for them. In both cases Michigan was able to neutralize the most dangerous part of the opposition offense (Jahan Dotson and Rakim Jarrett, respectively) by making that tradeoff and dedicating extra guys to the passing game.

Just like the previous bullet, it feels like Michigan isn't going to be giving up moderately annoying chunks if they continue against OSU, they'll be getting unsustainably gashed.

Bring me this Okonkwo. Maryland doesn't have a lot of dudes on their team this year but I'd take Chigoziem Okonwko any day. Maryland had this one dumb screen for him that they ran five times and even though Michigan was decently prepared for it after the first time my dude ran over Michigan secondary members and powered out chunks of yards. 6'2", 244, athletic, hard to bring down: Michigan is missing a guy like him on this team.

SPECIAL TEAMS

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special teams ace [Sherman]

Furious. FEI has not updated for this week yet so I cannot see if Michigan has ascended to the top of the mountain after blocking a Maryland punt and getting a kickoff return touchdown on a throwback. FWIW, Michigan is currently 4th; in 2019 they were 6th; in 2018 23rd; in 2017 23rd. (I'm not counting the COVID season for obvious reasons.) That is a sustained run of excellence at a spot where it's very hard to maintain because there are so many high-impact, low-incidence things.

The punt block. Michigan blitzes off the corner, Maryland protector takes that guy instead of a guy with a more direct line to the punter, and the above occurs.

One wonders if that was something that was on film or Michigan just getting lucky; strong possibility that Sainristil would have gotten to the punter if the protector had chosen differently.

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no red detected [Sherman]

The throwback touchdown. Michigan twitter erupted with "save that for Ohio State" after Michael Barrett tossed it to AJ Henning, but Ohio State isn't regularly pooching the ball to the right side of the field at about the 20, so Michigan can't do that next week. The correct way to moan about the throwback touchdown is to say something like "this shows we were preparing for Maryland instead of Ohio State."

MISCELLANEOUS

The uniquely unsatisfying experience. We mentioned this on the podcast in reference to SP+ but it's actually more generalizable:

Pretty much. If this wasn't the playoff oligopoly era Michigan's level of performance would be pretty rewarding, because Ohio State wouldn't be one of the four chosen teams that everyone flocks to and they'd be less of a mountain to scale. But it is, and therefore Michigan can be a top five football team in any predictive model you care to point at and the attitude going into the final game of the season is "let's get this over with."

At least… Rose Bowl? Is it really much of a consolation prize to go to the Rose Bowl after losing to Ohio State? I guess yes, it is, especially if we're bumping MSU out of the slot. Just got to be more competitive than MSU, which even this Eeyore projects to be happen.

HERE

Best and Worst:

I don’t need to rehash how people expected the season to play out; most prognostications had UM finishing around 7-5/8-4, and this here site figured 8-4 with a strong chance of underperforming.  And honestly, even the most optimistic amongst us (and I consider myself in that group) figured 10 wins was unlikely, possible only if  a Brady Hoke-level amount of good luck happened on both sides of the ball.  Few expected the stakes of The Game to be more than “how Not In the Face can it be?”, and yet here Michigan stands, 60 minutes from a shot at the Big 10 title against…someone from the West who features an offense best described as “trying”.  Now obviously there’s 3200 feet of Buckeye they’ll have to summit during those 60 minutes, and this week will be all about analyzing again and again the level of insurmountability of that quest.  But the only reason UM is in this position is because they accomplished most of their goals over these past few months.  They won all but one game and showed a maturity and confidence as a team, even when struggling, that we haven’t seen out of every Harbaugh team in recent memory.

The State of our Open Threads:

We only gave 78 fucks yesterday, down sharply from the 285 given during the rather stressful Penn State game. That is, in fact, now the second-lowest number of fucks given in the conference season to date, and given who the next opponent is, it shall likely remain that way for 2021. The fewest fucks were given during the Indiana game, and the fewest overall in the season were the mere 18 given during the Northern Illinois game. Considering that the season average as of now is 176 fucks per game, it was certainly a very quiet, orderly thread as game threads go around here.

Comments

Quailman

November 22nd, 2021 at 3:37 PM ^

Well, the point wasn't that Chris Evans is Alvin Kamara. It was that Michigan had Chris Evans, a player talented enough to be drafted to the NFL and get playing time as a rookie, and didn't utilize him as well as they shouldve/couldve. 

Also, your stats you cited are incorrect. He has 4 carries and 18 rushing yards in his career. He also has 10 receptions for 122 yards and a TD (which kind of reiterates Brian's point regarding Evans and how they used Edwards Saturday). So, uh, yeah. 

Joined: 08/30/2013

MGoPoints: 19716

1989 UM GRAD

November 22nd, 2021 at 2:28 PM ^

Does anyone else feel as though we've finally been playing the whole season in preparation for Ohio State?

The game plans have varied from week-to-week. We've tried a bunch of different plays, running styles, etc.

I, for one, am hoping that this is the case...that we've been trying to figure out what works and what doesn't...putting a variety of things on tape for OSU to consider...etc.

It always feels like OSU brings an entirely different approach when they play Michigan.  

Is this the year that we're doing the same thing...finally???

Joined: 03/08/2012

MGoPoints: 1530772

GhostofJermain…

November 22nd, 2021 at 3:31 PM ^

I can tell you for a fact this year was different in that regard.

Coaches are concerned about the middle of OSU D-Line.

Also coaches harping on getting Stroud uncomfortable and dirty.

I doubt it means much but JJ getting more snaps than usual. 

BC will do everything to play, but not sure if MH is convinced. 

CM was talking to SM today about 2 Gator recruits he has been in contact with. 

Considering that Turner started for Wake this week, Charbonet for UCLA, and we have HH, BC, and DE, I would say JayBaugh our most valuable young coach; not to mention we have the #1 ranked ST, and our TE room has multiple pros!  

Cheers

Joined: 07/20/2015

MGoPoints: 7772

TIMMMAAY

November 22nd, 2021 at 3:56 PM ^

I keep seeing this sentiment, and I just don't know what Games you have been watching... under Harbaugh we have always come out with a "new" gameplan against OSU. 2016 we "won" but didn't, '17 and '18 were very competitive, and we should have won one of those. Didn't play them last year, obviously. 

Though the numbers are what they are, we're a lot closer than most people are willing to see. It's just that damn talent gap, that they have built up during the last ten years, it's tough to overcome. I do not think there is any coach in the country who could come in, with our current roster, and do better than Harbaugh has. But we have to blame someone... so Harbaugh it is, because of what everyone (myself included) expected when he was hired. 

I think if 2016 had been officiated remotely fairly, things go very differently this past five years. Recruiting would certainly have seen an uptick, as we would have been in the playoffs. Who knows from there... 

 

Joined: 09/08/2008

MGoPoints: 56287

1989 UM GRAD

November 22nd, 2021 at 6:09 PM ^

TIMMMAAY, I can't speak for anyone else, but I think you're somewhat misinterpreting my comments...or maybe I didn't express my thoughts clearly.

I'm not really referring to what has happened during The Game.

I'm more referring to what we've seen in the 11 games preceding The Game.

We've seen a more varied approach on defense.

We've seen games where we've barely passed the ball 15 times...and other games where we've passed the ball 40 times.  We've never seen that much game-to-game fluctuation in game plans.  

We've also seen more players stepping up with big games at different times.  All three RB's have had big games.  We've had eight (8!) different players lead in receiving yards

There's never been a year under Harbaugh where we've seen so much game-to-game fluctuation in strategies and game plans...and such a variety of different plays in all three segments of the game.  

Joined: 03/08/2012

MGoPoints: 1530772

TIMMMAAY

November 24th, 2021 at 8:02 PM ^

I think that game to game fluctuation has been very much by design, and to my eye has worked very well. What does OSU game plan for? They can deduce, from what we've shown week to week maybe an idea of our direction. But I think it's all been leading to this game. We'll see in a few days, I guess. 

Go Blue. 

Win The Game

Joined: 09/08/2008

MGoPoints: 56287

Goggles Paisano

November 23rd, 2021 at 6:27 AM ^

And this is why I love that Zach Shaw tweet Brian referenced.  It is spot on and it is what I have been preaching to anyone who will listen when the topic of beating osu comes up.  Since Meyer arrived, that program is at its absolute peak and they just happen to be in our division.  It makes it hard to win the B1G and go to the CFP when you have to go thru them.  Yes, we haven't beaten them in forever, (except for 2016 until we didn't) but 128-129 other FBS teams aren't beating them either in a game that matters. 

If we get this one this Saturday, fucking great.  If not, it will not change my thoughts on how fun this season has been and how much I love this 2021 team.   

Joined: 07/30/2011

MGoPoints: 41232

Hotel Putingrad

November 22nd, 2021 at 5:25 PM ^

The game plans haven't been the issue. The execution has. Roughing the punter on the opening stop. Metellus dropping an interception right in his hands while up 14. O'Korn missing the easy fourth down completion to Evans on the penultimate possession then airmailing everyone down 24-20 on the last one. Failing to get any pressure on Haskins, hanging our corners out to dry. Watching Dobbins dribble the ball as he breaks through the line then trying to untie his shoes.

Michigan is not so physically inferior to OSU that they can't win. They just can't make dumb mistakes. The focus and effort has to be there on every play. They have to stay close into the second half so that the pressure switches to OSU. Then they have to make a winning play.

Joined: 12/10/2014

MGoPoints: 212134

victors2000

November 22nd, 2021 at 9:21 PM ^

Untying Dobbins sneakers, that has got to be a low point in Michigan football history.

We've definitely moved away from that.

I think the game is all about pressuring Stroud. If he feels like he's chillin' in the pocket like he was against MSU, it's over; no way we are going to out offense those guys. We get pressure on him, cause some three and outs, have success in all phases of the game - I'm looking at you, AJ - I think we win.

Joined: 03/21/2009

MGoPoints: 12914

thisisnotrandy

November 22nd, 2021 at 11:05 PM ^

It would also help if this is the year that OSU makes some dumb mistakes as well.  Their road schedule this year has been: Minnesota, Rutgers, Indiana, and Nebraska.  It's possible that cakewalk away schedule may actually prove beneficial for Michigan.  While Nebraska can certainly get a little crazy, I'm hoping we can make some noise and possibly cause a little pre-play confusion while Macdonald messes with Stroud's keys.  A crowd assisted drive-stalling false start or delay of game could be enough to turn the tide as well.

Joined: 09/19/2013

MGoPoints: 1182

AZBlue

November 23rd, 2021 at 5:54 PM ^

I think he is actually referring to a contest displayed on the scoreboard during the game at UMD.  A lucky Student(s) fwas going to win a trip with the team to the RU game to end the season.  All that was required to be eligible was to have attended all home games this year AND still be present when they drew the winner in Q3 of our game....

Joined: 09/14/2008

MGoPoints: 16806

Golden section

November 23rd, 2021 at 10:51 AM ^

Because of the number of UM fans in the largely empty stadium it felt like a road game. To  completely the milieu, Locksley got in the plane and flew around in circles for a couple hours, sipping a single malt, silently lamenting his departure from Bama.

"If only I'd stayed a little longer. I'd be heading to Florida or LSU right now."

Joined: 10/19/2020

MGoPoints: 6891

GRBluefan

November 22nd, 2021 at 2:32 PM ^

When we were potty training my oldest son (now 12), after a few failed efforts, he walked to the corner of his room, pulled down his pants, and defiantly peed on the floor while shouting "I will NEVER pee in the potty...only on the floor!"  Good times.

Joined: 02/13/2009

MGoPoints: 18360

HighBeta

November 22nd, 2021 at 3:14 PM ^

Sometimes, on reflection, I am amazed that my wife and I have let our children live long enough to become productive, responsible adults. ;-)

For that bit of patience, she and I occasionally and privately say to each other something like: "Good job, Dad (or Mom, depending on who stepped up to handle that particular "lesson" to get it absorbed properly). Ah yes, fun times ...

Thanks for this entire post. It was very much enjoyed and appreciated.

Joined: 10/20/2019

MGoPoints: 15647

M-Dog

November 22nd, 2021 at 3:35 PM ^

While our daughter was being potty trained, she once sat on the potty, unraveled the entire roll of TP into a big wad, threw it directly into the toilet, and smiled.

Like the first play of every Michigan drive that plows into a stacked box for second and 9, she had an idea of what she was trying to do, but just could not execute it effectively.

 

 

Joined: 07/06/2008

MGoPoints: 257507

monkeybiz

November 23rd, 2021 at 12:14 PM ^

Our youngest daughter just did this, although not the whole roll.  Thankfully it was her Elmo potty which isn't connected to any plumbing.

She has this neat habit of filling her diaper and then after you change her she'll go sit on her Elmo potty and stare between her legs.  It's like "dude, you missed that opportunity."

Joined: 09/29/2018

MGoPoints: 1602