Dear Diary Knocks Them Off Their Ivory Towers

M Glee clubbers Mary Wilhel, Justin Lu, and Brandon Cory infiltrate enemy territory.

I'd never heard this before (mp3 link). It's from the the old Dick Purtan show in the 1980s, though one commenter thinks it's older. (Thank JeremyB for turning this up). However when I was in college we too stood on our porches singing such classics as "Bye Wisconsin", "Blow Right Through Ol' MSU", and "One More Loss for 'Ol Notre Dame." Nowadays the campus nerds troll our rivals by spreading the Might and Main in person:

Here we come with our dorks singing, And our helmets blue and winging…

Kids these days (are awesome). Also awesome: Denard Robinson under 4 mins in the 4th quarter (usually). Nonnair shows:

Adding the two charts together, in his five opportunities to pull off a Tom Brady-style comeback at the end of a game, Denard is 15/27 for 305 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT -- good for an NCAA passer rating of 167.5.

…but doesn't compare that to other CFB quarterbacks. He also called Borges "Uncle Fester." Needs more study.

The Sandusky stuff dominated the boards this week so badly that Ohio State finally getting their long-deserved Failure to Monitor barely registered. In the diaries, we got a good take from PA native Six Zero's front-paged article on how this could affect Penn State traditions, and, uh, JoePa as…Stalin? The point is about loyalty, whether to a friend or organization, and a cult of personality trumping morality. No-sign. I think people knew Josef was a bad guy, whereas Joe Paterno keeping one (very) dark skeleton carries way more disillusionment; his appearance of morality was not just about Penn State because the rest of us used it too to say the Big Ten is better or debate the notion of "all programs" with sentences that begin with "teams like Michigan and Penn State…" To have that guy turn out to harboring a total sicko is just weird.

Well you know what they say, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. It's finally time that jhackney's romp through HST novels would reach its F&L in Las Vegas crescendo. Your Diary of the Week visits sordid Iowa City in search of the American Dream, but ends up with a history of pedophiles in State College, Pa.

Your weekly game wrap with BlueSeoul finds our intrepid screen capturer blaming refs. Rly?Yes, the last play (------>) should have been PI but unbalanced officiating was small potatoes in the game outcome next to Iowa playing great football and Michigan not. I'm your biggest fan, Seoul, but this week I disagree with more than I don't in there.

Danger Chris of Logidanger went all out this week in moving picture pages. There's highlights now and keys and…show? Show:

In etc., Blazefire doesn't think the scandals across the country are enough to discount the season. After the break we do the weeklies and the Best of a fisky Board.

Remember This Week in Things That Are Weekly?

Remember, remember the 5th of November, in bullets:

• Remember how those turnovers were gonna catch up to Michigan eventually? They did. –Enjoy Life
• Remember how we said 8-9 wins for today and Hoke for tomorrow? That's what it's looking like. –Lordfoul
• Remember Thomas Gordon? He's nowhere to be found inside the box score. –ST3
• Remember in '99 when MSU had the same number of losses as Michigan but they had beat us head to head in EL but we got to go to the Orange Bowl instead of them? That could totally happen again. –Wolverine In Exile
• Remember the bullet above where I said we could go to the Orange Bowl? Right now it's probably more like Insight.com. –oriental andrew
• Remember when three MAC teams in a bowl was unheard of? The ugliest games of the week will probably determine which 7-5 MAC schools get postseasons. –stubob
• Remember when the thing you were saying about Penn State is they're 2-7 against the spread and the world's flimsiest 8-1 team and due for an upset? Actually Virginia Tech is. –Maize_in_spartyland
• Remember when you stopped looking at Pick Six because your teams did things like lose to Syracuse? Look again; things have moved. –Jeff.
• Remember your program? –Lanyard Program

Whoa There Board

You guys broke Chrome with all the tabs I had open for sharing this week.

A PARTICULAR DEFINITION OF 'MAJOR VIOLATIONS'

Your 1,000 Penn State threads this week kept the moderators on their toes. Highlights from those: TomVH found a rather ironic note to recruits from Coach McQueary (^). Yeoman puts it in perspective:

Even n the absolute worst case scenario: defensive coordinator in prison for felony sex abuse, athletic director, president and head coach all up on felony obstruction of justice charges--they still won't have been investigated for violating any NCAA regulations.

Some good thoughts by wolverine1987 I kind of agree with about standards versus living up to them, i.e. the things that Penn State (said they) stood for are still things worth standing for. If you feel like you want to do something about this kind of stuff ak47 and Herbstreit suggest you donate to an anti-sexual assault organization. Herbie's a former Buckeye so it's cool.

One PSU thread is more about that day 14 years ago but left out the party at Bollinger's.

TRADITION, OR NOT TO TRADITION, THAT IS THE QUESTION

• Start it? Since universal lacelessness didn't catch on, flablue13 now wants to make sleevelessness (a la Hoke) a thing. I vote pantslessness, but bloggers always vote for no pants. 'Sides, sleevelessness is so TNT.
• Keep it? Mentioned in Three and Out was that RR brought the Mountaineer Olympics to Michigan. The OP and I would both like to know if this or something like it was continued.
• Lose it? Now that Rational MSU fans know about New Years bowls, they're starting to echo the same complaints we've had for years about the increasingly overlapping schedule. I think traditionally the Gator has always overlapped and the Outback/Citrus/Rose schedule was something like 11:00/1:00/4:30 right?
• Share it? Ah, Nebraska. Sorry we forgot to mention the thing about losing to Northwestern. Happens to all of us. It's the purple.
• Suggest it? A new guy wants to make sure he doesn't miss any traditions around campus.

X SHOULD NOT BE EQUALLING Y

Juice & Squirrel. Autumn Thunder RIP

• Denard=Juice Williams. Double ARRRGH because I can't say you're wrong and send you to Bolivia because you're not even wrong. Brian covered everything I have to say about that in TWIS but this guy bears repeating for  pure ARRRRGGGGHH:

You're right --  this topic is utterly "f'ed."  Juice Williams beat Ohio State.

• Denard 2011<2010 Denard. This is worthy of a diary actually. Sorry I found it late. Props to michgoblue for going over the discussion points.
• Al Borges=Mike Martz. Rly? Not rly.
• Fans=Can't Handle the All 22! The NFL's explanation for why they won't release video that shows all 22 players instead of the RB's very tough nostrils is that it would blow our minds.
• 2011 Michigan=Chinese Restaurant. Italian chef making General Tsio's?
• THE_KNOWLEDGE=THE_KNOWLEDGE FROM 20 MINUTES FURTHER IN THE FUTURE?

THIS WEEK IN 130 PEOPLE SAYING 'NO!'

Is 7-5 acceptable?

WE CAN MAKE UFR BETTER, WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY

Enhanced version of Iowa ready for consumption.

YES YOU GET PROPS

The guy who wrote a thread called "When are we gonna make Drake an offer" right before the M coaches made him an offer gets props.

DID THE BEACH BOYS GET THE SAME TREATMENT?

This was forwarded to me four times and put on my Facebook wall twice last week. We have dog groomers that are official so we can't talk. Neither can Minnesota. Or Nebraska. Or Wisconsin.  Actually every state's got one but not with lyrics like "farmer tans so hot we'll pop your popcorn," so Iowa girls are currently leading the Katy Perry rip-off contest. Try to guess which "[Name of School] Girls" video on YouTube is just two drunk chicks in bikinis shotgunning beers and throwing snow at each other?

IF YOU HAVE TO ASK…

You knew Nebraska wouldn't get it.

IF I COULD HAVE ONE WISH

Note date and time stamp. I'd tell you what I'm wishing for but you know.