For Anyone Who's Ever Known a Penn State Fan
I forgot I promised Brian to do a post about this before I went ahead and launched it in Guess the Score. Anyway, meet my favorite shirt we've ever made except maybe the Space Emperor ones. Zoom? Zoom:
To relive the excuses hit the jump. To order the shirt hit the link. We're going to preorder a bunch of these for people who'd like them in time for the game.
1993: Four stops from the 1 to preserve an eight-point victory was just a fluke.
1997: No player who went somewhere other than PSU can be THAT good and also THAT good. You say he didn't take money huh? Why does he hate money? Is he a Communist?
1998: Nobody can get into a backfield that quickly, especially against PSU's All-Americans at OL; Renes and Hall and Feazell and Sword and Irons were offsides all game.
1999: Everyone knows ten points is a safe enough 4th quarter lead against Tom Brady.
2000: It's inconceivable that five future NFLers just happened to be good at blocking.
2001: There's no way all that talent comes from having won a national championship 4 years earlier. Marquise Walker just came out of nowhere.
2002: The more obvious 30-yard pass on 3rd-and-12 that Bryant didn't catch on that same drive doesn't matter; the 20-yard one he did catch does.
2005: It's okay to put 2 seconds on the clock for JoePa when he asks, but not for Carr when he asks a minute later. /rage-quits Big Ten.
2006:
This was probably dirty. Also if a Pennsylvania boy goes to Michigan he was probably paid. Breaston was told he couldn't play quarterback at Penn State. Yeah, that's the ticket.
2007: They spent that week preparing for Henne, not his backup.
October 4th, 2013 at 5:55 PM ^
I don't know, man.
October 4th, 2013 at 6:03 PM ^
It sort of looks like Paterno, but if it's JoePa, shouldn't the glass frames be much thicker? Or is that just some random Penn State fan?
October 4th, 2013 at 6:17 PM ^
That is all.
October 4th, 2013 at 6:52 PM ^
Well, that makes more sense, but the reference is somewhat dated. I'm not sure having a T-shirt that requires me to show people a video so they can understand it is a good idea. But then again, I bought a "Taco Pants" t-shirt, so what do I know?
October 4th, 2013 at 7:45 PM ^
October 4th, 2013 at 6:04 PM ^
The superstitious part of me thinks that releasing this before we play PSU this year is just asking for them to beat us and have a bunch of their fans tweet about #karma.
October 4th, 2013 at 6:35 PM ^
At least we know who to blame.
October 4th, 2013 at 6:15 PM ^
I don't get it. And it looks like John Belushi.
October 4th, 2013 at 6:25 PM ^
October 4th, 2013 at 6:44 PM ^
October 4th, 2013 at 6:18 PM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 7:21 AM ^
I understood the premise for the shirt and like it but an outline of Morelli with Branch walking away with a reference for enjoyiing pancakes for breakfast when in State College would be a great theme.
October 4th, 2013 at 6:36 PM ^
I don't get it either. Is the shirt supposed to be funny?
October 4th, 2013 at 6:52 PM ^
October 4th, 2013 at 6:53 PM ^
I don't follow all the jargon on the shirt but I can aver that if PSU loses, they will find a way to point out every single holding call in the game. It never fails every year. With that said, can someone explain the 2006 picture and what happened....
October 4th, 2013 at 6:53 PM ^
Y'all be some philistines up in here.
October 4th, 2013 at 7:50 PM ^
October 4th, 2013 at 9:13 PM ^
October 4th, 2013 at 9:51 PM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 12:57 AM ^
Was completely unscripted. Candy just threw that out there and they loved it and kept it in the final cut.
October 4th, 2013 at 10:35 PM ^
It's a sad commentary on my life that I would spend part of Friday night writing this, but I feel there needs to be a deeper analysis of why this shirt fails.
1. You're not really insulting anyone by comparing them to John Belushi.
He's one of the most beloved comedians of the last 50 years. If someone said to me, "You're just like John Belushi," unless it was referring to my physique (which, sadly, is starting to look like a good comparison lately) or severe drug addiction, I would view it as a compliment.
2. Neither John Belushi nor Jake Blues has anything to do with Penn State.
I mean, do they? If I look at this shirt, I think, "Who's that supposed to be on the shirt? John Belushi? Why is John Belushi on that shirt?" Not "Oh, you just burned Penn State with that zinger." People are going to see your shirt for like 3 seconds. If it's not a picture of Joe Pa or that stupid lion mascot on it, no one will connect it to Penn State. You can't expect them to read the relatively small print in the background, figure out what that's referring to, and then finally get the joke.
3. The kinds of excuses Jake Blues makes in that scene aren't anything like the excuses Penn State makes.
Jake Blues is apologizing to Princess Leia for leaving her at the altar: in other words, positively doing something bad that hurt her. Penn State fans are just whiny about losing to Michigan. Even if somehow someone looks at the shirt, reads all the excuses, and makes the connection, it doesn't seem like a really good match.
4. There is one recent situation in which Penn State, both as an institution and as a fan base, want to say something isn't their fault.
Namely, the giant sex abuse scandal. If anyone does see the shirt and somehow miraculously realizes it's making fun of Penn State for refusing to take responsibility for something, they're going to think it's about Jerry Sandusky. That was my initial thought about what this shirt was referring to. Of course, this site has taken the admirable position that jokes on that subject are off limits. I'm sure it wasn't anyone's intent to make any connection like that in this shirt, but it's such a touchy area.
5. No one under 30 has seen the Blues Brothers.
Pointing this out is a classic way to make people over 30 feel old. Boo hoo. I'm over 30, time moves on, people listen to Ke$ha. It's sad. But anyone close to college age has seen the Blues Brothers only if a.) they had an older relative sit them down and make them watch it or b.) They're a huge comedy nerd.
EDIT: Now I feel bad for trashing your hard work. I'm sorry. All the other shirts are great. I blame it on the general bitchiness of being a Michigan fan during football season.
October 4th, 2013 at 11:44 PM ^
So are you saying it's a hipster shirt?
October 5th, 2013 at 12:58 AM ^
And the Blues Brothers is one of my two favorite movies of all time (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is the other).
October 5th, 2013 at 1:25 AM ^
Nailed it.
October 5th, 2013 at 3:10 AM ^
I am under 30 for 20 more days and I think I have totally seen Blues Brothers and there is a totally decent chance it was really the original and not just Blues Brothers 2000.
October 5th, 2013 at 11:36 AM ^
1. You're not really insulting anyone by comparing them to John Belushi.
Saying "you're John Belushi" isn't the joke. The joke is "you are making up excuses like Joliet Jake."
2. Neither John Belushi nor Jake Blues has anything to do with Penn State.
3. The kinds of excuses Jake Blues makes in that scene aren't anything like the excuses Penn State makes.
4. There is one recent situation in which Penn State, both as an institution and as a fan base, want to say something isn't their fault.
5. No one under 30 has seen the Blues Brothers.
October 5th, 2013 at 11:54 AM ^
For 1, like he said before, most people aren't going to sit there and read everything on a shirt. They're going to glance at it for about 2 seconds. It's not an immediately obvious PSU reference.
As far as Number 2, they're not really the same. Lloyd Carr is obviously connected to Ann Arbor and Michigan
October 5th, 2013 at 12:30 PM ^
Oh, and I get the references, live in PA, know a shitload of Penn State fans and watched Penn State beat Michigan. I don't like the shirt. But that's not a commentary on your self-described unrivaled sense of humor and intelligence. I just don't like the shirt. For shit's sake, I hope someone in your office throws you a fucking cry towel.
October 4th, 2013 at 10:30 PM ^
October 4th, 2013 at 11:41 PM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 3:04 AM ^
Honestly, I'm not a fan of the shirt.
October 5th, 2013 at 5:59 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 8:49 AM ^
Agreed, I have never liked these types of shirts. Besides way too much language, I would rather stay classy and be pro Michigan rather than negative said school. My 2 cents
October 5th, 2013 at 7:40 AM ^
Living in PA, this shirt hits the mark. State Penn fans are pissed than anyone beats them, let alone for 8 straight games. And the excuses get better every year. Love the Jake Elwood reference on the shirt!
October 5th, 2013 at 8:27 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 9:08 AM ^
The only thing (remotely) clear on the shirt is Belushi. What that has to do with any of the (way to much) text is beyond me. Maybe this is an inside joke between a couple people? Hell, people can make whatever they want on a shirt and no one else needs to like it, but the "greatest shirt ever"? Eh, it's probably the worst I've seen on the site (which has had some good ones and bad ones as well).
October 5th, 2013 at 8:49 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 8:53 AM ^
Yes, I think that you missed badly on this shirt. What bothers me most is trashing an entire fanbase in way that seems to have crossed the line from funny to mean-spitited or even peavish. Unfortunately, every enthusiastic fanbase also has a generous crazy-people seating section, and Penn State's is not is my top 10 of shame.
October 5th, 2013 at 9:07 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 9:26 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 9:00 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 9:06 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 10:53 AM ^
Still don't like the shirt.
October 5th, 2013 at 10:17 AM ^
Staee.
Graffiti Spell Check Experts
East Lansing, MI
October 5th, 2013 at 11:21 AM ^
I'd like people who don't remember a Penn State-Michigan game before 2008, people who haven't seen Blues Brothers, and people who never interract with Penn State fans to stop ragging on this shirt so that the specific demographic we made it for won't be made to feel like mutants. We don't design every t-shirt for every kind of reader; we try to design t-shirts that certain groups of readers will REALLY like. We have a large Pennsylvania and East Coast readership over 30 who don't always get served. Next week there will be a shirt for the Chicagoans which they will get instantly and some of you won't.
Talking shit is a widely accepted part of sports fandom, and this site has made it a policy to find it acceptable as long as it isn't mean-spirited. The goal is "touchee" not to kill a guy's fandom. If you're not ready for a riposte on all the times you've made excuses for Michigan and don't care to learn verbal fencing now, that is fine; just appreciate that other people do enjoy shit talk and have the courtesy to not bring them down a peg, ie.
All the Penn State fans I showed it to (all of their main bloggers whom I worked with when writing a PSU HTTV this year) loved it and thought it was a much more fair and accurate rippage of their fanbase than the things they're usually ripped on about these days. Then they invited me to be on their podcast next week. I find this evidence enough that no line of meanness was crossed.
I think if you don't know any Penn State fans, this shirt probably isn't your bag. If you have never seen a Michigan-Penn State game that Michigan won this shirt probably isn't your bag. That is why the title of the post says "Anyone Who's Ever Known a Penn State Fan." So the fuck what if you don't get it? If you don't get it it's not a shirt for you. There are, in fact, jokes that other people find funny that go over your head.
As for people who don't get Blues Brothers quotes: don't even. History of the World Part I, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Star Wars, Godfather, Princess Bride, Spaceballs, Office Space, Ferris Bueller...you cannot possibly be on the Internet and not have these down. If you don't because you are young and all of your references come from Napoleon Dynamite, Anchorman and Zoolander, it is your responsibility if you want to interract with people outside of your demographic to learn the classics. My generation had to learn Caddyshack, Blazing Saddles, and Airplane, and everybody since 1605 has had to learn Shakespeare, and we are all far better for it. You're not going to de-classify one of these things by laziness--if there's some you miss just shut the hell up about it and let the people who appreciate the consensus great things do so without your negative nanciness.
October 5th, 2013 at 11:52 AM ^
October 5th, 2013 at 12:14 PM ^
What a completely chickenshit response, and given my track record with criticism entirely unfair. I'm asking people to stop ragging on it because they don't get the references on behalf of the people who do get the references. As far as I'm concerned you can criticize however you want--if your criticism sucks then I'm also at liberty to tell you so and why I think that. There's no suppression of your opinion going on here--I'm just making a negative judgment about that opinion.
As a lifelong member of minority demographics who find things hilarious that a majority of people don't get, I do get a bit defensive when that ignorant majority acts like only the humor that caters to them is valid. That's what I see going on here, and it pisses me off for the same reason it pisses me off when Rivals boards rag on MGoBlog because they don't get the references.
As for Brian banning the former WLA guys, I had nothing to do with it, I criticized him for it on the front page, and I criticized him further in private yesterday. If you've got a problem with how he moderates his blog, you can email him.
October 5th, 2013 at 12:28 PM ^
I won't get into with you here -- and you're right that my post is dickish, at least out of the context of the past couple of weeks. Also, for what it's worth, I have no problem with the WLA guys getting banned. In fact, I've made that point on the board (not that you'd have any reason to remember that).
Anyway, whatever. I hope the shirt sells well. If anything, I suspect that people who find things funny that others don't find funny - a position I'm often in, too - will be more excited to buy this shirt if they think others don't get it.
October 5th, 2013 at 12:58 PM ^
The only person raging in this thread is you.
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