Denard is so fast . . .
Denard is so fast . . . he watches 60 Minutes in half an hour.
Denard is so fast . . . he can turn out the lights and be in bed before it's dark.
Denard is so fast . . . he got a speeding ticket on I-94. He was walking.
Denard is so fast . . . he leaves a vapor trail on cold days.
Denard is so fast . . . he bends time. He graduates in 1997.
Denard is so fast . . . they had to use high-speed film to take his class picture.
Denard is so fast . . . he has to use his dreadlocks as a parachute to slow down.
Denard is so fast . . . he catches rabbits during lunch. In Australia.
Denard is so fast . . . scientists measure the distance between stars in Denard-years.
Denard is so fast . . . he gives Usain Bolt a 90 meter head start in the 100 meters.
Denard is so fast . . . when he was a baby he broke the sound barrier learning to crawl.
Denard is so fast . . . you can tell how far away he is by counting the seconds until you hear thunder.
Denard is so fast . . . Cheetahs teach their young how to hunt by watching video of Denard.
Denard is so fast . . . he won the Indy 500. Without a car.
Denard is so fast . . . it takes light 8 minutes to reach the earth from the sun. Denard can do it in 4.
Denard is so fast . . . by the time you hear "Hike", he's already in the end zone.
Denard is so fast . . . [Your turn].
September 8th, 2010 at 10:14 AM ^
I watched the entire 1st qtr in slow motion last night and he was the only guy at regular speed.
September 8th, 2010 at 10:23 AM ^
Denard is so fast... That when he changes directions he shifts tectonic plates.
Denard is so fast... Ummmmm this fast:
September 8th, 2010 at 10:31 AM ^
He will change the cliche from "3 yards and a cloud of dust" to "a cloud of dust and 15 yards"
September 8th, 2010 at 10:40 AM ^
it only takes him 20 seconds to watch paint dry.
September 8th, 2010 at 11:30 AM ^
he can travel forward in time to see what play the defense will run. He just chooses not to...
September 8th, 2010 at 11:35 AM ^
look like Regular Gonzalez (borrowed from Futurama).
September 8th, 2010 at 11:42 AM ^
so this kind of junk would never again appear here.
on second thought, he'd have to break a lot more fangers than that.
September 8th, 2010 at 12:01 PM ^
It's finger, with an "i"
September 8th, 2010 at 12:10 PM ^
I bet you spell corch with an 'a', too
September 8th, 2010 at 7:00 PM ^
NO LIGHTHEARTED CELEBRATORY POSTS AFTER AN EPIC WIN ALLOWED
September 8th, 2010 at 11:44 AM ^
he is screwing your sister and even SHE doesn't know it yet.
September 8th, 2010 at 12:16 PM ^
your sister definatly knows she already came four times
September 8th, 2010 at 11:44 AM ^
Denard is so fast other DJ's say damn.
September 8th, 2010 at 11:45 AM ^
he hand delivers all texts and emails
September 8th, 2010 at 12:09 PM ^
Denard is so fast, he makes other fast people look not fast. (Longest yard)
September 8th, 2010 at 12:27 PM ^
That he might just be the faster player in college football
September 8th, 2010 at 12:53 PM ^
Can Superman outrun The Flash?
Uhh... sure.
September 8th, 2010 at 12:50 PM ^
Webster's Dictionary has replaced the word "fast" with "denard"
September 8th, 2010 at 1:30 PM ^
Denard is so fast . . . he can catch his own Hail Mary TD pass.
Denard is so fast . . . he ain't got time for this post.
Denard is so fast . . . he can knock Charlie Weis over with his sonic boom (I miss that big guy...).
Denard is so fast . . . he makes Michigan color analysts say "Whoop!"
Denard is so fast . . . there were actually three flyovers last Saturday - two were by plane, one was by Denard.
Denard is so fast . . . in three years he's going to turn blue and maize into $green$.
September 8th, 2010 at 2:36 PM ^
Absolutely epic!!!
September 8th, 2010 at 4:01 PM ^
...that during Rosh Hashanah, people will replace "Fasting" with "Denarding".
September 9th, 2010 at 7:46 AM ^
that he's younger than his twin.
(Woo relativity jokes.)